TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day
PAIRING: R/J
SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)
SPOILERS: None that I know of
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc.
RATING: R (PG, once again)
A/N: Thanks for your kind reviews even though the last chapter was pretty crappy. I'm hoping this one is better, at least I put more effort into making this better. I'll try to update at least once a week from now on, although there aren't really that many chapters left. So, read Chapter Fifteen and please tell me what you think of it!
And to Anna from Finland: So great to hear that you're reading this and liking this. And yea, Finnish is my first language, but for some weird reason ended up replying to you in English. So, anyway please keep reading and send me more feedback, in English, Finnish or Swedish!:)
Chapter Fifteen
*Stars Hollow, The Gilmore House, Sunday 9pm*
Lorelai was sitting by the kitchen table, sipping the coffee that Luke had made for her a while ago. He'd taken the night off work, leaving Ceasar and Jess in the diner by themselves. Although he'd pretended being annoyed about it, he was actually pretty pleased to say at the house in peace.
Rory had left Stars Hollow a few hours ago, and so Lorelai and Luke had fell into their normal daily routine once again. Luke was watching tv in the living room when he heard Lorelai calling his name and he had to get up and go to the kitchen.
"Yea?" he said as he sat down facing her and yawned.
"What do you think about it?"
Luke lifted his eyebrows and looked at Lorelai hesitantly.
"About… what?"
"Rory and Jess. Jess and Rory. What's gonna happen? Is something gonna happen? When is it gonna happen? What will…"
"Okay, okay, calm down there" he sighed when he noticed Lorelai getting over-excited about the subject. "I don't really know, but then again, I don't think they know either"
"Have you talked with Jess?" Lorelai said and took another sip of the coffee.
"Well, not about Rory, not lately. But you know he's crazy about her, right? He's really… It's weird to see him now, he's so different, so mature and grown-up. I think he just wants to give this thing time and see where it goes"
"That's good" Lorelai said pensively. "You know, I looked at Rory when she packed her stuff together and she looked relaxed. She didn't have that tense expression on her face anymore, and I think she was actually smiling to herself"
Luke smiled and nodded knowingly. It seemed that things were finally making progress between Rory and Jess. And Luke and Lorelai were both happy being able to see it from the sidelines.
"I just really hope that they can make this work. I can't even imagine how hard it is" Lorelai said seriously and then looked at Luke for confirmation.
"If I know Jess at all, he won't give up on Rory again. He's done that once and I know he doesn't want or need any more regrets"
"I hope so, Luke. I'll just say that the day those two are together again, I'll throw a party that never ends"
"Well, I better warn them in time" Luke said with a smiled and after kissing Lorelai quickly, he went back into the living room.
*New York, Mel's apartment, 10pm*
"He told you he loves you" Mel said and stared ahead wistfully.
Rory nodded with a smile and then sipped the hot chocolate she was holding. She and Mel were both curled up on the couch, at opposite ends covered by a blanket.
"The gorgeous, dark haired, brown eyed, world traveller, great lover and intelligent man that is Jess Mariano, told you that he still loves you"
Rory listened to her friend's dreamy voice and chuckled.
"Great lover? Where did that come from?" she asked while grinning.
"Hey, it's not like you haven't ever hinted that, and I've seen the way he moves. The guy must be… Okay, I won't say that aloud" Mel winked at Rory and made her laugh even harder.
It felt good to talk about this with Mel, she always managed to bring humour into even the most difficult situations. And everything she'd said was true. Jess was gorgeous, he'd seen the world and he was probably the most intelligent person Rory knew. And yea, he was a great lover.
"You're blushing!" Mel squealed. "So, I'm right, aren't I?"
"Perhaps" Rory admitted beaming and then adjusted herself better on the couch. "But you know, Mel, this is so… unreal"
"Yea, I bet it is" Mel said more seriously and then they remained quiet for a while. "You told him that you love him and he told you that he loves you. So now you're… doing what?"
"Sorry?"
"I mean, you're gonna see him? Is this thing between you two… moving ahead, any progress in the horizon?"
"He's coming to New York on Wednesday"
"You have a date?" Mel's eyes were bright, but Rory managed to calm her down by saying that they'd just agreed to meet up when Jess was coming to the city.
"He has a meeting here, it's nothing big, Mel"
"Do you think I'll buy that after seeing you around him? Do you have any idea how you look at him, or how he looks at you for that matter? It's big, Rory. I don't mean to put pressure on you, but the fact that you two are going to see each other now, that's just big"
Rory frowned and looked at Mel rather helplessly. She probably wasn't really prepared for this, she hadn't actually grasped the idea that she was going to see Jess again in a few days.
"This situation is a tough one. But I'm pretty confident you'll make it work. Eventually, you and Jess are gonna end up together. It's just inevitable"
Rory looked at Mel and nodded slowly. Mel was convincing, Rory knew that Mel truly believed that she and Jess would be together again. But when Rory tried to imagine it, picture it in her mind, it was hard. For so many years, being with Jess again was the only thing she'd wanted. Then she'd given up, and then he was back. And she'd tried so hard to deny that she even wanted him anymore, and now it was possible. It was possible that they might end up together again. But it just didn't seem real.
Rory got off the couch asking Mel if she wanted more hot chocolate. Mel did and so they went to the kitchen to refill their mugs.
"I meant to ask you about the boxes in the hallway" Rory said as she poured the drink into her mug.
"They're yours" Mel said and smiled at Rory kindly when her friend turned to see her. "Pete brought them over"
"Oh" Rory said quietly and put her mug down to turn to look at her friend. "How was he?"
"He was… Okay, I think. He's been working hard, as always"
"But he looked fine?" Rory asked and concern was obvious in her voice.
Mel nodded and then said that he was pretty sure that things were going to turn out well for Pete.
"You see, my date got cancelled yesterday, so I ended up going to the movies with him"
"You did?" Rory asked amazed and when Mel told her that they'd seen a movie and then gone out to eat, she ended up smiling. "Do you know how great it is to hear that? I've felt really bad, but if you think he's sort of okay…"
"He's as okay as a person can be in a situation like this. He's got a mourning period going on, and so do you even though it's different being in your shoes"
Rory listened when Mel told her what she and Pete had talked about. It seemed that Pete hadn't lost his good sense of humour, but instead he and Mel had had fun together. And it was good to hear that Pete had spent a lot of time with his friends, because Rory knew very well that isolation was never the best solution in a difficult situation. She had been there herself after Jess had left, and it had been really hard to move on when she'd just shut everything and everyone outside.
"I think you should see him, Rory. Talk with him, about the future and how you'll… proceed"
"Yea, I know I should" Rory said and seemed lost in her thoughts for a minute. Then she looked up at Mel again and smiled slightly. "You know, I'm pretty lucky to have a friend like you, Mel. I mean you've done so much since Jess had been back…"
"Hey, Rory. It's nothing. And besides, I needed some entertainment for myself since my own life is so damn boring" Mel complained as they returned to the couch.
"Oh yea, Mel" Rory said laughing. "You're just known world wide for your boring and uneventful life"
*NBC, Wednesday noon*
Rory walked down the hallway toward her office. Her stomach was rumbling and she sighed when she opened the door to her room. She was hungry and she had just come back from lunch. And what a lunch it had been. She'd gone to her favourite hotdog stand and for half an hour she'd sat at the park wondering if she'd actually be able to eat it the hotdog she'd bought.
Jess had called her the previous night and after a brief and a rather awkward phone conversation they'd agreed to see each other after Rory got off work. So Rory was nervous. Actually nervous was a definite understatement. She felt sick. And when Mel had been excited about her seeing Jess, she'd said it was no big deal. The hell it wasn't.
Rory leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She put her hands on her stomach and wondered if she could call Mel, who was having a lunch date, and ask her to bring her a sandwich. Rory was pretty sure that she might actually be able to eat a normal sandwich without throwing up, but her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Bill's amused voice.
"Do we pay you for sleeping, Ms Gilmore?"
Rory opened her eyes and smiled at her boss.
"I'd imagine that you don't, and I think it's unfortunate"
"So, you had a heavy lunch?" Bill asked when he stepped further into the room.
Rory smiled faintly and mumbled that she wouldn't actually say that.
"But, what can I do for you?"
"Well, I have a little job for you, Rory. I need you to go to Chicago for a conference"
"Oh please don't tell me I need to leave tomorrow. The last conference in London was sort of short notice" Rory said and looked at Bill pleadingly.
"Yea, I'm sorry about that. But this one is in two weeks, my secretary will bring you the itinerary today, or tomorrow or… some day"
"Okay. That sounds good. Actually, it's great cause then I can go and see a friend of mine living in Chicago"
"Well, I'm glad you like the job" Bill said as he went back to the door. "So, is Mel having lunch, I didn't see her in her office?"
"A date" Rory said with a smile.
"Of course" Bill replied with a knowing nod and left the room chuckling.
*Washington Square Park, 6pm*
Jess had been sitting on the bench for a while now. He'd known that he'd be there before Rory so he had a book with him to prevent him from getting bored. But he hadn't managed to read, he'd just kept browsing the book, reading one sentence here and there, he just hadn't been able to concentrate.
He was going to see Rory, and it felt weird. Actually just the idea of seeing Rory, alone, was terrifying. He and Rory, meeting at Washington Square Park where they'd actually spent time ages ago, when they were together. Jess took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his other hand. He felt so uncomfortable, and no matter how hard he tried to relax himself, he didn't seem able to do that.
"Hey"
He heard her voice and after once last attempt to calm himself down he looked up at her.
"Hi" he said when he saw her standing there, her cheeks flushed and her hair up on a ponytail.
It was obvious that they were both nervous. Both were able to see it and it made them even more tense and edgy. They just looked at each other, and they were both trying desperately to say something.
Eventually Rory sat down next to him and looked around in the park.
"So, I hope you haven't been waiting long" she said quietly, not turning her gaze to Jess.
"Nope, and besides I had a book"
"Of course" Rory said and smiled while stealing a glance at him.
She was finding it hard to breath, let alone act normal around him. She was even finding it hard to look at him, although she wanted to look at him, she wanted to look at him desperately. He looked so good, so incredible. His black coat was perfect for him, his haircut was great and his nervous face made her want to… She wondered what it would be like to touch him, touch his cheek and his lips. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him, if it would be like she remembered it to be, perfect, the most natural thing in the world.
"So, how was you meeting?" Rory asked him trying to push her disturbing thoughts to the back of her mind.
To her luck, the publication process of books seemed to be a very versatile and safe subject to talk about, and so they fell into conversation rather easily.
Jess and Rory ended up walking around the park for a while and then they headed to get some pizza. Rory was pleased to get something to eat, even though she was still extremely tense, at least now she managed to get something down her throat.
"So, are you looking for an apartment?" Jess asked her when they were finishing their pizzas.
"Yea, well, I'm gonna start looking. It's great staying with Mel, but I just don't get anything done there. And I think it would do me good to have a place of my own"
"Yea, it probably would" Jess admitted with a nod.
"So, how long are you gonna stay in Stars Hollow?"
"I'm not sure. I sort of… like there, so I don't think I'm gonna be in a hurry to leave"
Rory smiled, and for the first time that night, it was a relaxed smile. Jess liked living in Stars Hollow, it was good to hear that.
Jess knew that Rory was smiling because of what he'd said and he was glad to see her smile so spontaneously. He'd been observing her closely while they ate, noticing that her gestures or eating habits hadn't actually changed all that much. And he'd marvelled at how beautiful she was, it seemed to him that she was even more beautiful that before. She didn't really look older, Jess wouldn't have believed that she was twenty-seven if he hadn't known it. She still seemed so innocent, so youthful and pure. When Jess thought about all that she'd been through and all that she was going through right now, he wondered if she's just managed to hide all the pain and disappointments deep inside her. Jess wanted to reach out his hand to hers, touch her and hold her tightly against him. He wanted to help her somehow, and show her how much he'd missed her and how sorry he really was.
"Well" he said, when Rory lifted her gaze to meet his. "I guess I should take you back to Mel's. You have to go to work tomorrow and I have to drive back to Stars Hollow tonight, so…"
"Yea, let's get going" Rory agreed and they walked to Jess's car in a rather comfortable silence.
*Mel's apartment, 9.30pm*
Rory stepped inside the apartment and went straight to the couch. She threw herself on her back and then hit herself with a pillow.
"Hey there" Mel said coming from her bedroom. "What are you doing?"
"Hitting myself" she mumbled and then sat up to look at Mel. "I'm just an idiot, Mel"
"What happened?" Mel asked looking concerned. "You did see Jess, right?"
"Yea, I saw him. And I was so nervous that I had a hard time looking at him, let alone talking to him. All we talked about was how novels get published and we were both just trying to keep the conversation…"
"Safe" Mel said and nodded slowly. "It's okay, Rory. It's understandable that you were nervous, actually I think it was expected. Two people with the kind of history that you two share can't just…"
"But I screwed this up, Mel" Rory whines and buried her face in the pillow.
"No, you didn't. This situation is so… un-normal that normal behaviour in your position would be strange"
"It was awful, Mel. I mean, I kept looking at him, thinking that I missed him and I wanted to talk with him about everything and I wanted to… kiss him, or hold him or just…"
"I know" Mel said understandingly.
Rory stared into the distance and sighed. The night had been hell and she'd just wanted to get away, but still, she already missed looking at him or just hearing his voice.
A/N: I so hope that this one was a better chapter than the last one. And even if it wasn't, please tell me, but be gentle about it. I want to improve, but it seems hard. Anyway, the remaining chapters will be all about Rory and Jess. And like I said before, I'll try my best to have the next chapter for you guys in a week.