TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc.

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: I didn't get too many reviews for the next chapter, although I am eternally grateful for the ones I did get. I'm just really unsure of my writing right now so it would be good to hear what you think of this. So even know I myself am the laziest reviewer that has ever existed, I hope you guys send me feedback after reading this chapter. And I hope you'll like it…:)

Chapter Sixteen

*Stars Hollow, The Gilmore House, Friday 10pm*

Rory stood on the porch and looked around. There were no cars on the driveway, and the house was dark and quiet. She opened her bag to take out the keys and then opened the door to her old home.

"Mom? Luke?" she said as she put the lights on and found the house definitely empty.

Rory had talked with her mother on Tuesday and Lorelai had said nothing about going somewhere for the weekend. Rory wondered where she might be when she brought her bag into the house and went to settle into her old room.

She unpacked her bag and then sat on the bedside. She hadn't slept in this room for years, but since Jess had been back she'd automatically wanted to sleep there instead of the bigger guestroom upstairs. And she knew why. Here she felt close to Jess, in this room she felt Jess to be somehow present. At least the memories she had of him were very vivid here.  

Rory got off the bed and went to get the phone. She dialled her mother's cell phone number and after a brief conversation with Lorelai, she found out that Luke and her mother had rented a cabin for the weekend and they were coming back home on Sunday night. Rory couldn't help but smile when she thought how much more spontaneous Luke was these days, at least compared to the way he'd been before he got together with Lorelai. Rory knew that even a year ago Lorelai would never have succeeded in getting Luke to spend a weekend at a cabin, away from the diner and his every day routines. 

Rory sat down on the couch to think. Her mom and Luke were away for the weekend, which meant that she now had the house all to herself. Although Rory had hoped to talk with her mother about the current situation, she was beginning to think that it might actually be good to have a more peaceful weekend. That way she'd be able to concentrate solely on the one thing she really wanted to concentrate on, the Jess situation. Or better yet, just Jess.

Despite all the mayhem and uncertainty that still surrounded her and Jess, and despite the terrible evening they'd spent together just a few days before, just thinking of him made Rory's heart actually miss a beat. And when she thought about the way he looked, his face and the way his voice sounded and his smile, she found herself beaming. For some reason it was easier to feel excited and happy about Jess in Stars Hollow than in New York. In New York things were more… maybe more real. In Stars Hollow, it was impossible to forget or overlook how good she and Jess had been together, here she remembered why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place.

Rory was taking it easy, she showered and then settled on the couch in her mother's bathrobe. She felt comfortable, but nevertheless, also hungry. She was just trying to decide whether she should order Chinese or Indian food when there was a knock on the door. She got up and adjusted the robe better on herself before answering the door.

Rory experienced the strongest feeling of déjà vu. And when had it happened before? Almost then years ago, he'd been standing there with a box in his hands. A box filled with food. And the strangest thing of all was that tonight he looked just the same as all those years ago.

"Jess" Rory breathed quietly and unconsciously tried to cover herself better with the bathrobe.

"Hi. Sorry to come like this, I just wanted…" Jess started talking with slight hesitation, but then he saw Rory smile at him reassuringly.

"Come in"

They went into the kitchen and Jess put the box on the table. He told Rory that he'd seen her driving past the diner and knowing that Lorelai and Luke were away, he'd decided to bring her something to eat.

"I appreciate it" Rory replied as they stood facing each other, eyeing alternately the food and each other.

"Anyway, I just wanted to bring it to you so you won't have to order in from anywhere"

"Can you stay and eat? There's enough here for both of us, and a dozen other people" Rory said and the light and seemingly relaxed tone of her voice made Jess smirk.

"This sort of reminds me of one time, when you were together with Dean and…"

Rory nodded and laughed saying she'd just thought of the same thing.

"But will you stay?" she said and looked at Jess rather hopefully. "We could try being less awkward with each other than on Wednesday"

The fact that Rory seemed much more relaxed right now than during their previous encounter, made Jess say that he'd stay. And of course, an invitation to stay was what he had been hoping for all along.

"I'll go and put some clothes on, why don't you unpack the food while I change?"

"Will do" Jess replied with a smile when Rory disappeared into her old bedroom and appeared a few minutes later wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

When they sat down to eat, Rory wondered if she should have put on some make up, and Jess found it hard not to stare at the beautiful woman sitting on the other side of the table.

And hour later, after having eaten an enormous amount of fries and a few hamburgers and after having drunk way too much coffee for one night, Rory leaned back in her chair and looked at Jess. She was listening to him talk about certain European writers that he'd began to like in the past years, and his excitement made Rory feel all warm inside.

So Stars Hollow, or at least the Gilmore House seemed to have a good influence on them. They were both enjoying the night and especially each other's company. They hadn't actually managed to dug into very personal matters, but at least they were talking properly, having a conversation about books and writers. It was almost like the conversations they use to have.

"You're smiling" Jess said and looked at Rory curiously.

Rory replied to his words by letting a wider grin rise on her face and then she shook her head slightly.

"I just like listening to you, that's all" she said softly and her words made Jess stiffen on his chair. "I think you're voice is a bit older than it used to be" Rory continued pensively.

"I'm a bit older than I used to be" Jess chuckled, but then got more serious again. "When I was standing behind your front door tonight, I felt like seventeen again"

"You looked like seventeen again" Rory said and smiled kindly at him. "So, why did you really come tonight? I mean, after the pretty uneasy night on Wednesday, you probably weren't just dying for my company"

"I guess I just wanted to see if we could be… comfortable around each other. It's frustrating when sometimes we seem to be okay and then sometimes…"

"Yea" Rory admitted and wrinkled her forehead. "I guess it's because we don't know where we are. I mean, there's no way we can start over again after everything. And there's no way we can just pick up where we left off seven years ago either"

Jess nodded and after a brief silence during which both seemed to have been lost in their thoughts, he asked Rory what they should do.

"I guess we should just take this one day at a time. Not think too much about where we are and where we're heading"

Rory had a point, and a good one. They were in a situation which was everything but normal. They were trying to build something new on an old foundation, which was covered with the debris of the past years.

"Do you have regrets?" Rory asked and looked at Jess actually fearing his answer slightly. "I mean, regrets about having me in your life again"

Jess wasn't sure if she was serious. As if he could ever regret having her in his life. The fact that he had a chance with her again was just overwhelming, so he shook his head reassuringly.

"I could regret everything in my life, but not you"

That was it. Maybe it was his words, which Rory knew to be true. Or maybe it was the way he said them and the tone of his voice. Or maybe it was his eyes when he looked at her like no one else had ever looked at her. Because whatever it was, it made Rory turn her gaze away from him and blink trying to fight the tears that came into her eyes. She got up hastily, turning her back on Jess and going to the door of her bedroom. She wiped her cheek and heard Jess get up.

He went to her slowly. She was leaning against the doorway, looking down and trying to control herself. Jess looked at her without saying a word and then, instinctively, knowing that it was the thing he was born to do, he pulled her into his embrace.

He closed his eyes and Rory buried her face in his shoulder and cried. He tightened his hold on her, while she clung on to him desperately. He could feel her soft hair against his cheek and he sighed when he realised that she had really missed him just as much as he had missed her. And it was almost too much, grasping the idea that he still had her and that he was actually holding her right now. It was almost too much, because it was just as he had remembered it to be, it was perfection.

"I just missed you so much" Rory whispered barely audibly and after hearing her words he placed a gentle kiss on her hair.

"I'm here now, Rory" he said back quietly. "And I'm not going anywhere"

Rory pulled slightly further away from him and lifted her head to look at him properly. He took his hands from her waist and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. His actions made Rory smile faintly and she took a few steps away from him, finally ending up sitting on her bedside. She looked down at her hands when she began to speak.

"When I read the novel, I was so happy. Cause when you left, I missed you so much that I didn't have the energy to do anything else. And I would have given anything I had, just to see you again, or just to know that you were okay"

Jess came to the bed and sat down next to her. She looked up at him and her eyes met his, which were looking at her in pain.

"I spent hours every day, just thinking about you. And at the same time, I was afraid that you'd found someone else. I was afraid that you loved someone else more than you loved me. And then eventually, I saw you with Cate… And I thought you didn't love me anymore" her voice became quieter and quieter while she spoke and eventually it was only a whisper.

Jess listened to her knowing exactly what she meant and what she had gone through. Soothingly he placed his palm against her cheek and nodded slightly.

"But when I read the novel… I know it was wrong, but when I realised that you'd been hurting, too and you'd missed me just as much as I had missed you… I was so happy to know that, because I still loved you and I felt like all the time I spent missing you hadn't gone to waste because you'd missed me, too"

"Did you really think that I didn't?" Jess asked and looked at her with a worried expression on his face.

"I was afraid" Rory answered honestly.

"You won't have to be afraid again. We're both here now. And no one else makes a difference right now, just you and me"

"Yea" Rory sighed and looked at him sheepishly. "And you're not gonna go away again, right?"

"Right" Jess said and smiled. "I'm around for as long as you want me to be"

"It might be a long time" Rory said and felt like a little girl again as she smiled at him shyly.

"That's what I'm counting on"

Wide smiles had spread on both their faces and they were fully aware of how stupid they probably looked right now. Because right now, probably for the first time since Jess had been back, they saw each other as just Jess and Rory. And although so much had changed and although they were now grown-ups, deep down they were still the same people they had always been. And it was so clear on this moment that everything they had ever shared was still there. The love, the friendship, the respect and the passion.

They were still smiling, it was surprisingly hard to stop. And it was surprisingly easy for Jess to place his hand against her cheek again and then let it slowly run down to her jawline and eventually settle behind her neck. Rory shuddered slightly under his touch and never breaking eye contact with him she carefully leaned toward him. His fingers stroked the skin on the back of her neck slowly, but every little movement by him made her go through overwhelming feelings. Flashbacks from the past, remembering how he used to touch her in exactly the same way, in a way that only he could touch her.

She closed her eyes when she realised their faces were only inches apart. And then she felt his cheek against hers, and he pulled away only to replace his cheek with his lips. They were warm and soft and they moved on her skin slowly, barely touching her but making her tremble even more. And when his hand came from the back of her neck to her cheek, his lips touched hers.

He pulled away again and she opened her eyes to look at him. She saw the emotions she herself was going through on his face. He grazed her cheek gently once more and then stood up and walked to the door. He turned to look at her and smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast"

Rory nodded and then watched him go. Moments later she heard the front door close and she knew that it had all been worth it.