Jack Sparrow And The Search For The
Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed
Rum
1
"Will?"
"What?"
"I'm bored!"
"I know, Jack! You've told me already. Thirteen times. If you do it again, I may have to kill you."
"But I ammmmm....."
"I know!"
"We haven't had a decent adventure for months....."
"We just came back from defeating Barbossa and rescuing Elizabeth yesterday!"
"But I'm borrrrrred........"
"I know! But you can't just go looking for adventure. It has to find you."
Jack muttered sulkily. Suddenly his eyes lit up.
"Look mate, I've got an idea. Can I borrow Elizabeth?"
"What? Why? I already told you, she doesn't want to go back to that island with you so that you can try your luck again!"
"No, not that, mate. I just want to leave her alone in Tortuga town centre for a little while."
"Why in God's name would you want to do that?"
"Because if we do, someone's sure to kidnap her and then we can have an adventure!"
"No! You cannot intentionally leave my fiancée to be kidnapped!"
"Well, if you're going to get all sensitive about it......"
"Why would you even ask me?"
"Come on, we'd get her back, and then you could play the hero and impress her, and I know how much you enjoy doing that."
Will looked thoughtful. "So all we have to do is leave her behind, then we get to go on an adventure, and-"
"And you get to storm in and save your bonny lass! What do you say?"
"OK," said Will.
"Great! Go get her, and we can go!"
"OK, OK, calm down! Hey! Elizabeth!" shouted Will.
Elizabeth leant out over her balcony. "What?"
"We're going out shopping! Want to come with?"
"Always!" shouted Elizabeth, running inside. Seconds later she emerged from the front door, grinning widely. "So what are we going to buy?"
"Errrrm......" Will looked at Jack, who shrugged. "We'll see when we get there."
"Oh, OK, because I saw a dress in a shop window that I thought would look nice on me...."
Will rolled his eyes at Jack and let her prattle on.
"....And there were matching shoes and a matching bag......"
"How long till we get there?" asked Jack desperately.
"Too long," muttered Will.
".....And you could buy pearl necklaces and bracelets in exactly the same shade of pink as the fabric!" she finished breathlessly.
"How much?" asked Will with some trepidation.
"Well, it's a little expensive, but I can get a pretty good deal...."
"How much?"
"200 gold pieces."
Will's mouth fell open. "That's more than Jack spends on rum in a year!"
"Really? A year?"
"Well, you know....a year, a week, they're pretty much the same-"
"You see! It's not that expensive!"
"-But my pay is only two gold pieces a day! If I'm lucky!"
"I know, but our joint account is full of cash-"
"-Which we're saving up to buy a house!"
"Oh, we can stay in my dad's mansion for a while. He's got to die someday."
"We're here!" said Jack. "Now, m'dear, if you'll just sit on this bench for a few minutes until we come back-"
"Why? Where are you going?"
"To buy you presents. Now, wait here and we'll be right back."
Jack winked very obviously at Will and they walked off around the corner, leaving Elizabeth slouched on the bench.
"Now we wait," said Jack, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Has she gone yet?"
Will peered around the corner and at the bench. Elizabeth was eating peanuts and spitting the shells at passing pigeons. "Nope."
"Now?"
"Nope."
"Now?"
"I'll tell you when she's gone!"
Jack sighed and twirled his moustache. "I'm going to the pub, mate. Want to come with?"
"Yeah, OK." They wandered off to the pub, talking about what would happen on their next adventure.
Two hours later they sauntered back around the corner, fully expecting Elizabeth to have gone.
Only she hadn't.
"What the hell are you still doing here?" asked Jack incredulously.
"Where would I have gone?" asked Elizabeth impatiently. "Will you buy me the dress now?"
"Yeah, yeah, OK," said Will resignedly. "Take me to the shop."
Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed
Rum
1
"Will?"
"What?"
"I'm bored!"
"I know, Jack! You've told me already. Thirteen times. If you do it again, I may have to kill you."
"But I ammmmm....."
"I know!"
"We haven't had a decent adventure for months....."
"We just came back from defeating Barbossa and rescuing Elizabeth yesterday!"
"But I'm borrrrrred........"
"I know! But you can't just go looking for adventure. It has to find you."
Jack muttered sulkily. Suddenly his eyes lit up.
"Look mate, I've got an idea. Can I borrow Elizabeth?"
"What? Why? I already told you, she doesn't want to go back to that island with you so that you can try your luck again!"
"No, not that, mate. I just want to leave her alone in Tortuga town centre for a little while."
"Why in God's name would you want to do that?"
"Because if we do, someone's sure to kidnap her and then we can have an adventure!"
"No! You cannot intentionally leave my fiancée to be kidnapped!"
"Well, if you're going to get all sensitive about it......"
"Why would you even ask me?"
"Come on, we'd get her back, and then you could play the hero and impress her, and I know how much you enjoy doing that."
Will looked thoughtful. "So all we have to do is leave her behind, then we get to go on an adventure, and-"
"And you get to storm in and save your bonny lass! What do you say?"
"OK," said Will.
"Great! Go get her, and we can go!"
"OK, OK, calm down! Hey! Elizabeth!" shouted Will.
Elizabeth leant out over her balcony. "What?"
"We're going out shopping! Want to come with?"
"Always!" shouted Elizabeth, running inside. Seconds later she emerged from the front door, grinning widely. "So what are we going to buy?"
"Errrrm......" Will looked at Jack, who shrugged. "We'll see when we get there."
"Oh, OK, because I saw a dress in a shop window that I thought would look nice on me...."
Will rolled his eyes at Jack and let her prattle on.
"....And there were matching shoes and a matching bag......"
"How long till we get there?" asked Jack desperately.
"Too long," muttered Will.
".....And you could buy pearl necklaces and bracelets in exactly the same shade of pink as the fabric!" she finished breathlessly.
"How much?" asked Will with some trepidation.
"Well, it's a little expensive, but I can get a pretty good deal...."
"How much?"
"200 gold pieces."
Will's mouth fell open. "That's more than Jack spends on rum in a year!"
"Really? A year?"
"Well, you know....a year, a week, they're pretty much the same-"
"You see! It's not that expensive!"
"-But my pay is only two gold pieces a day! If I'm lucky!"
"I know, but our joint account is full of cash-"
"-Which we're saving up to buy a house!"
"Oh, we can stay in my dad's mansion for a while. He's got to die someday."
"We're here!" said Jack. "Now, m'dear, if you'll just sit on this bench for a few minutes until we come back-"
"Why? Where are you going?"
"To buy you presents. Now, wait here and we'll be right back."
Jack winked very obviously at Will and they walked off around the corner, leaving Elizabeth slouched on the bench.
"Now we wait," said Jack, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Has she gone yet?"
Will peered around the corner and at the bench. Elizabeth was eating peanuts and spitting the shells at passing pigeons. "Nope."
"Now?"
"Nope."
"Now?"
"I'll tell you when she's gone!"
Jack sighed and twirled his moustache. "I'm going to the pub, mate. Want to come with?"
"Yeah, OK." They wandered off to the pub, talking about what would happen on their next adventure.
Two hours later they sauntered back around the corner, fully expecting Elizabeth to have gone.
Only she hadn't.
"What the hell are you still doing here?" asked Jack incredulously.
"Where would I have gone?" asked Elizabeth impatiently. "Will you buy me the dress now?"
"Yeah, yeah, OK," said Will resignedly. "Take me to the shop."