TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day
PAIRING: R/J
SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)
SPOILERS: None that I know of
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc.
RATING: R-ish
A/N: Again, I've been having some trouble writing this. Mostly because my own love life is really messed up at the moment and all I want to do is write about relationships that don't work out. But I'm trying my best and I hope you like it. This chapter is ALL R/J, it's pretty much them getting closer and closer to each other, physically and mentally. And once again thank you so much for your reviews, I keep reading them over and over again!
Chapter Nineteen
*Stars Hollow, Friday 9pm*
Jess parked the car in front of Luke's and was about to get out when Rory took his hand and stopped him. He turned to look at her curiously and saw her smiling.
"I just… I wanna thank you for staying with me the whole week" she seemed somewhat shy and Jess nodded at her warmly.
"It was my pleasure" he said and then leaned toward her to place a light kiss on her lips. "Now, let's go and get you some coffee"
They got out of the car and walked into the diner. They both greeted Luke with smiles and sat by the counter, but although Rory tried her best to concentrate on Luke, she found it hard to tear her eyes off Jess. Sitting beside him in the car while they drove to Stars Hollow had given her time to think, once again. They had spent the past four days together, it was the longest period of time they'd been together since Jess had been back. It had brought them so much closer to each other than they had lately been, they were beginning to get to know each other again.
"We just came for some coffee. I'm dropping Rory to Lorelai's then" she heard Jess say and she nodded when she looked at him.
"Oh" Luke mumbled and suddenly seemed slightly confused.
It was apparent that Luke had expected Rory to stay with Jess, after all they had already spent four days together in New York. But they were still taking things easy, reminding themselves of the fact that they were in no hurry and rushing might actually end up spoiling everything. But that wasn't to say that the thought of not waiting hadn't crossed their minds. Actually, it had been on both their minds constantly.
"So, if you'll give me coffee to go?" Rory looked at Luke with a smile and he did as she asked. "So, I guess I'll see you when you get home tonight. I hope you don't mind me staying with you and mom again"
"Rory" Luke said firmly. "Have I ever minded?"
Rory smiled at him and then followed Jess out of the diner and back to the car. When they arrived at the Gilmore House a few minutes later, they already saw Lorelai running out of the house toward them.
"Oh, Luke called me and told me you're here! I'm so happy to see you, honey!" she cried out when she ran to hug Rory.
"Yea, I'm glad to see you, too, mom" Rory laughed and then she and her mother turned to see Jess who was unpacking her stuff from the car.
"Wow, why do you have so much stuff with you?" Lorelai asked her daughter when they went to help Jess with her bags.
"I'm going straight to Chicago from here. I have a conference and therefore all this stuff"
Lorelai, Rory and Jess went inside the house and right away Rory settled comfortably on the couch. Jess looked at her slightly amused when Lorelai babbled about the recent events in Stars Hollow and Rory closed her eyes yawning.
"I'm not going to take that as a hint that you're already bored with me" Lorelai said to Rory who then opened her eyes with a grin.
"I'm not. It's just been a rough week" she said yawning again and her words made Lorelai's eyes light up.
"With lover-boy staying with you, it's understandable"
Jess looked at Lorelai with both disbelief and amusement in his eyes and then went to Rory.
"I'm gonna head back to my place, too"
"We'll do something tomorrow?" Rory asked him and he nodded with a smile.
Lorelai, who was sitting in an armchair, looked at them pensively. They seemed so good together. Lorelai hadn't actually seen them this together since Jess had been back. It seemed that some of that intimacy they used to share was back and they seemed more than comfortable around each other. Lorelai loved hearing Jess's voice soften when he spoke to her daughter and the look on Rory's face when she looked at him.
To Lorelai's surprise, Jess didn't kiss Rory goodnight, he just touched her cheek gently and smiled at her before leaving the house. After he had closed the door after him, Lorelai squealed and ran to Rory.
"Ooh, tell me everything, Rory!"
"Tell you what, mom?" Rory asked with a smile.
"You and Jess, four days together in Mel's apartment… Tell me everything!"
Rory looked at her mother's excited face and then she nodded slowly.
"We're getting to know each other again, finding out new things and then seeing that some things are still the same as before"
"The sex is as good as it used to be?" Lorelai said chuckling and winked at Rory.
Rory laughed at her mother and then said that she wasn't in a position to say. Lorelai looked at her somewhat hesitantly when Rory told her that they had decided to proceed calmly and not rush things.
"It's good" Lorelai said then and thought to herself that she admired her daughter's self-control and sensibility.
"Every day, I fall more and more in love with him"
"You're happy" Lorelai said and looked at her daughter wistfully.
"Yea. And I'm happy to see that you want me to be happy with Jess"
"I do" Lorelai said firmly and now more seriously. "I'm sorry for not always being there for you, but now that I see how mature and grown-up he is… And after seeing how he can affect you, I can only hope that you'll be together"
Rory smiled at her mother, silently thinking that it had taken her mother ten years to accept Jess, but in the end she had. She wrapped her arms around her mother and squeezed her tightly, before she headed to bed.
*Jess's apartment, Saturday, 11pm*
Rory was curled up on the other side of the couch while Jess was lying on the other end. Both had books in their hands and both seemed to be lost in their own literary worlds.
Rory had done some shopping in Hartford with her mom earlier that day, but just like she had previously agreed with Jess she had come to his apartment later in the evening. Almost immediately they had pulled out their books and begun reading, and they were both extremely happy to see that they could feel so comfortable around each other.
Jess stared at the text before him, and to Rory it did seem like he was reading. However the truth was that he had not turned a page for a while now, he had been lost in his thoughts, but he had not been thinking about the novel.
"Rory?"
She turned to look at him and waited for him to continue. To him, she seemed so calm right now, it seemed that she was simply surrounded by tranquillity. He looked down for a minute, trying to get his thoughts together, wondering why he was even asking her this.
"After I left and before you met Pete… Did you have… Did you…" Jess shook his head in disbelief.
He couldn't believe that it was so hard to say it, but then again he couldn't believe that he needed to ask it either.
"Did you have other men?" he finally blurted out and looked down as if he was ashamed of his words.
Rory put her book down and looked at him. He was asking her about the things she'd done while he'd been away. He was asking her about things that were painful to think about, let alone talk about. But she understood that he wanted to know, it wasn't like she had never wondered about the women he'd possibly had in the past years.
"I had some one-nightstands" she started speaking quietly, it was difficult to find the right words. "A few years after you left I went to this party and I was just so drunk… That was the first man after you…" Rory glanced at Jess to see him listening to her seriously, but when he nodded for her to continue, she did. "One of the hardest things about being without you was being without the physical intimacy. Of course, one-nightstands aren't a substitute for the kind of closeness you and I had, but it was something. Just to feel that someone still wanted me… It was a mixture of wanting someone to hold me and at the same time feeling sick because I only wanted you to hold me and no one else"
Rory looked down quietly. She felt really bad right now, she hadn't been at all prepared to talk about this. It had been such a long time since she had even thought about those times, she had been in a bad place then.
"What about you?" she asked Jess timidly, somewhat fearing what he would tell her.
"I… I didn't have too much going on before I met Cate. Just a few drunken nights, I guess not that different from yours"
Rory nodded and they both were then lost in their thoughts, going through past events in their minds, trying to figure things out over again.
"I remember waking up in the morning beside someone I didn't know, and I thought to myself that I was so screwed up. It made me miss you even more, it reminded me of what it was like to wake up next to you, how different it was to wake up next to you" his words were barely audible.
Rory looked at him and then climbed on to his lap so that their chests were against each other and her legs were straddling him. She forced him to look at her and then he pulled her into his embrace. His hold on her was so tight that she found it hard to breath, but still it felt like she couldn't get close enough to him.
"Can I wake up next to you in the morning?"
His voice sounded muffled since his face was buried in her neck. Rory pulled slightly away from him and then looked at him observantly.
"Do you have a toothbrush for me?"
*Ten minutes later*
Dressed in Jess's boxers and a t-shirt Rory came from the bathroom to see that Jess had already turned off the lights. In the dark room, Rory could to see his form on the bed and she felt that very familiar pressure on her chest. He moved slightly when she went to bed and sat down on it.
Now that her eyes had got used to the darkness, she could see the features of his face and the look in his eyes. He was lying on his side when he reached out his hand. She took it and moved closer to him. For a minute she just sat there, in the middle of the bed, looking at him. So many times she had looked at him in the middle of the night, wondering in the darkness if he was even real or just a fantasy.
Still holding his hand, she lay down on her side so that her back was facing him. With his arm draped over her, she felt secure and warm. His hand was placed over her stomach and she felt his lips touch her neck softly. His actions brought a tiny smile on her face and she closed her eyes feeling serene and peaceful.
*Sunday, 8am*
She had lied in this bed so many times before. She had stared at this ceiling, listened to his steady breathing, and enjoyed his proximity. She had gone through so many emotions on this bed. She had read with him, she had listened to him while he read to her, or just looked at him while he slept or read. She had cried while laying in his arms and laughed harder than ever before in her life. She had made love to him on this bed, she had been so close to him that she had believed them to be just one person. She had heard him telling her that he loved her more than anything in the world, and she had even thrown up on this bed the very first time that she had been truly drunk.
"I love waking up beside you" Rory whispered quietly, believing him to be asleep, but to her surprise his arm tightened its grip on her and pulled her closer to him.
His touch made her gasp and she turned to see him blinking drowsily. She smiled and rolled over so that she was lying on her stomach with her arm draped over his chest. His body was so warm, so made for her to rest her head on. When her head settled on his shoulder, he held her in his embrace and made her want to scream in delight. But instead she sighed and soon drifted off to sleep again.
*10am*
Rory stood at the bathroom door wrapped only in her towel. She tucked her wet hair behind her ears and looked at him. He was sitting on the bedside, looking at her in a way that made her shiver. She looked into his eyes for a while, until she finally let her gaze observe him properly. He had a towel draped on his waist, and Rory found herself staring at his upper body, devouring the sight in front of her, looking for changes, looking for things that were familiar.
Rory took a few steps closer to him, she felt anxious and unsure, but still he drew her to him like a magnet. Eventually she was standing only a few inches away from him and he looked up at her still sitting on the bed. He lifted his hands and when he placed them at her hipbones, she closed her eyes instantly. His touch seemed to cause pressure in her lower abdomen, his touch on her hips made her wanna lose control. Eventually he slowly pulled her to him and leaned his forehead against her abdomen letting her hands drop downwards to the back of her thighs.
Rory's hands wandered to his hair and she heard him sigh deeply when she touched him. His fingers made small ministrations on her thighs and she felt the kind of sensations inside her that she hadn't felt in ages. They stayed like that for quite some time, but eventually Jess lifted his head and looked at Rory. She smiled at him and seeing him respond with a smile, too, she placed her hands on his shoulders and then pushed him on his back. Climbing on top of him and straddling him, they were suddenly very aware of the fact that they were both practically naked. Sitting on top of him, Rory gazed at him for a while, but when he eventually grabbed her arm gently and pulled her down to him, she forgot all about her hesitation and shyness.
She was leaning on her elbows, but still pretty much lying on top of him. Trying to ignore the fact that they were this close to each other wearing pretty much nothing, he lost himself in kissing her. He had always wondered about her exquisitely soft lips, kissing her had always been his very favourite pastime. He remembered spending so much time just like this, cuddling in bed just kissing and doing nothing more or less.
When Rory pulled away to catch her breath, she slid herself off of him and lay on her side with her legs still tangled in his. She placed her hand against his chest, feeling his skin below her fingers, taking in every emotion that came with touching him. Her hand moved downward slowly, finding his stomach muscles. Jess watched the concentrated look she had on her face, he was amazed by the gentility in her touch. It seemed like she was afraid he might break under her touch.
Jess brought his hand to hers and held it firmly against his abdomen. Rory lifted her gaze to his eyes and was met by his curious and smiling face. She smiled a bit, too, knowing that her cautious actions had caused amusement in him. She shifted slightly so that she was closer to him, practically attached to him and then wrapped her hand tighter around him, encouraging him to do the same with her. Laying her head down on the bed, she looked at him with warm eyes.
"When you came back to New York, how did you think you'd be able to avoid seeing me again?"
Jess looked at her silently, then he moved slightly and straddled her with his arms. His head was slightly titled when he looked at her.
"I guess I didn't" he replied quietly and then lowered himself so that he was able to brush his lips against hers.
He pulled away again, then sweeping his lips gently over her jaw to her neck. His lips seemed to glide over her, his mouth found her earlobe and his teeth nibbled on it lightly. Rory realised that she wasn't even breathing anymore and when she concentrated on taking a deep breath, his lips were suddenly caressing her collarbone, causing her to gasp loudly. She could feel Jess smiling against her skin and after placing another light kiss on her chest, he withdrew further away and then lay his head down on her abdomen.
"You knew that I'd read your book when it was published. You must have known that we'd end up seeing each other again and Cate would know about you and me"
Rory seemed to be talking more to herself than to Jess. Her voice was pensive and reflecting. Jess, who was lying on his stomach, resting his head on her stomach, was gently stroking her thigh. Rory could only see the back of his head since he was looking away from her and at her legs.
"Maybe I did" he replied quietly, still not turning to look at Rory.
Rory's fingers were soon once again entangled in his hair. Right now, when she was sharing this kind of intimacy with him, she truly realised it. Jess loved her, he really loved her and no one else.
*Twelve noon*
Rory walked down the stairs from the apartment. She was smiling to herself, but she tried her best to control it when she entered the diner. She felt everyone turning to look at her, she felt staring gazes and heard whispers, but she didn't mind. After seeing her mother by the counter she went to her and sat down.
"Good morning" she said cheerfully, when Lorelai's curious face looked at her.
"Well, it certainly seems to be a good morning for you" her mother replied with a smile and then winked at her. "Get lucky last night?"
Rory rolled her eyes and laughed when Luke brought her a cup of coffee.
"Thanks, Luke" she said and when he had once again went to take orders, Rory looked at her mother and smiled widely. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell"
"But you must!" her mother insisted just as Jess appeared form the stairs, too. "Ooh, Jess!"
"Mom, let it go" Rory said chuckling. "We're still taking things easy" she said when Jess came to her and kissed her cheek gently.
Lorelai watched the two, how her daughter blushed when Jess touched her. Gosh, there seemed to be so much happiness in the air that she was starting to feel sick.
"So, honey, are you leaving Stars Hollow tonight or tomorrow?"
"Tonight. My plane leaves Hartford around ten, I think" Rory said after asking Jess to bring her some fries.
"How long will you be in Chicago?"
"The conference ends on Friday, but I'm not sure if I have to be there until then. We'll have to see" Rory said pensively, just as Jess brought her the food.
"You two gonna hang today?" he asked and leaned on the counter.
"We're going to Sookie's for lunch" Rory replied and then looked at her watch. "So, should we start heading there?" she then asked her mom who nodded and said they should go as soon as she had eaten.
"But if you're going for lunch, why are you eating now?" Jess asked Rory looking slightly confused, but she replied to his worlds with laughter.
"I have to eat breakfast before lunch" she said and grinned at him. "So, would you like to meet up at the bridge later? We could read and stuff"
Jess nodded at her and then got to work pulling out an orderpad and a pen. Rory's gaze followed him and she sighed as she turned back to her fries.
"He's not too bad, is he?" Lorelai said pensively and her daughter couldn't disagree.
*The bridge, 3pm*
He stood still, looking at her and her delicate figure. Her long brown hair kept falling to her face and every once in a while she had to tuck it back behind her ears. She seemed to be lost in the novel she was reading and she didn't notice him even when he started to walk towards her.
He got to her and by now she must have realised his presence. However, she didn't turn and Jess sat down behind her, leaving her to sit in between his legs. She still hadn't lifted her eyes from the book, but when Jess wrapped his arms around her waist he could feel her stomach muscles tense. He had a tight hold on her and instinctively he glanced over her shoulder to see the book she was reading. He didn't recognise the text right away, and he couldn't even concentrate on it now. Her smell was surrounding him, it was the intoxicating mixture of her shampoo and the soft perfume she wore. Jess brushed his face cautiously against her hair, only to find it incredibly soft. He smiled when he thought of the influence she had on him, how she could captivate him so completely. She held him in her hands and he wondered if she even realised it.
Rory tried her best to concentrate on the book in her hands, but it wasn't easy. Her whole body was so tense, so aware of the fact that he was sitting right behind her, holding her. She turned the page trying to get her thoughts to the text when she suddenly felt his lips touch her neck and then pull away again. The contact was so short that Rory had to wonder if he had actually even touched her, but right now, her whole body told her that he had.
He had this incredible way of telling her how he felt through his body. Every movement he made, every caress and touch was so much more than she could ever have asked for. He nuzzled her neck and then pressed his lips against her sensitive skin again. This time he stayed there for some time, then slowly he skimmed his lips to her jawline, kissing her earlobe lightly on the way.
Rory had her eyes closed and she quivered when Jess's lips found the pulse on her neck. Her heart was beating its way out of her chest and when Jess took the skin above her pulse between his teeth, Rory felt tears rising to her eyes. She opened her eyes for a minute to blink them away, thinking that nothing had changed from the past. Jess could still make her lose control of herself, he could make her go through overwhelming feelings, and he could make her stop breathing.
Spontaneously, Rory turned her head to his direction and immediately he crushed his lips to hers. Rory hand's dropped the book onto her lap, and when she shifted in his arms so that their chests were against one another and she was straddling him on his lap, the book fell to the water.
Rory heard the splash of water, but she didn't care about the book. The only thing she cared about was that she was on Jess's lap, he was kissing her and there was not a single clear thought in her mind. Jess's kiss was demanding and passionate, and his hands were holding her to him so tightly that she actually thought that she might burst crying any moment. Being this close to him, so under his power, she felt the desperation she had felt before on this very same place. She felt the desperation realising that without him she was nothing, but with him she was so complete.
Jess's hands roamed under her light jacket and eventually under her t-shirt. His fingers dove a few inches into her jeans and having a tight grip of her hips he pulled her even closer to him. He heard Rory whimper and they broke the kiss to catch their breaths. Rory brought her hands to cup his face and she leaned in again, this time taking his bottom lip between her teeth. She felt it gently with the tip of her tongue and after she'd tugged at his lip and got him to open his mouth slightly she slid her tongue into his mouth causing him to groan quietly. His hands had pulled her shirt up to her breasts, leaving her lower back and stomach bare for his touch. He stroked her skin softly while they continued their playful kiss and when she eventually pulled back, she felt his firm arms tightening their hold on her.
"Your book is in the lake" he said to her and she nodded.
"I couldn't care less" she then stated with a tiny smile and wrapped her arms behind his neck as he pulled her in for another kiss.
A/N: I have a feeling that the next chapter will be the last. And it will probably take me some time to write it, I'd say that it'll be posted in at least two weeks, hopefully sooner.
I had actually decided to stop writing after this story, but now I have some ideas growing in my mind. If I have the time and energy, and if my ideas actually evolve into a story, I guess I'll be posting a new story in the future. Before that I'm trying to improve my English, especially my vocabulary because I really want to write more versatile text.
And although this is not yet the last chapter, I wanna thank you guys for all the great feedback and reviews I've got. I really did not believe that I'd be able to write a story, which would get so many readers. And here are some special thanks to:
Anonymousthinker, markie, jessandrory, iminlovewithaboynamedJESS, Luke Rules, Melly, Alece for being such faithful reviewers and for all your kind words and encouragement.
Laura mariano: thank you for all your reviews, for this story as well as for 'The Day After Tomorrow'. I cannot even begin to tell you how much they have meant to me, so just thank you.
LitJJAiken: your long and very profound reviews have been a real joy, thank you for saying that this is your favourite GG fanfic!:)
IloveJess: thanks for your reviews, I loved them and I was extremely humbled to see that you put so much time in reading and then reviewing. I've read all your feedback dozens of times, I also appreciated your feedback of 'The Day After Tomorrow' very, very much!
Mrs Mariano: I don't know what to say, except thank you. And I was wondering: are you from Norway? It's a lot of fun that there are so many nationalities here reading these stories..
Knowhere: as you know I really appreciate your reviews and knowing what a great writer you are yourself, their value is even greater!
Kay: I truly enjoyed your reviews, so thank you!
Okay, it's a lot of thanks, but I just wanted to make sure you all know how great it has been to receive feedback from you..:)