Jack Sparrow And The Search For The Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed
Rum
2
Later that evening they were sitting in the pub drinking and gossiping. Will was still in a cold sweat from spending the entire contents of his life savings on a dress, and Jack was declaring his supremacy over all to the pub.
"Sho, you see," he slurred, "I'm better than all you shlobs! I carried out the most daring raid ever! On pirates! With gunsh and knivesh and shuch, you know? Bow down before me, for I am your king!"
He waved his hat in the air with a flourish. Someone threw a tankard at him.
"Oh, OH, I SEE! SHMART GUY, HUH?" Jack seized the tankard and threw it back at his assailant, before lunging at him. Will had to forcibly restrain him.
"Leave it, leave it," hissed Will.
There was a snort from behind the bar. "You cannot call yourself the greatest pirate of all until you have drunk from.....The Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed Rum!"
"Rum, did you say?" asked Jack enthusiastically, instantaneously forgetting his desire to kill the guy who threw the tankard. "I'll have some of that! Bring it on!"
The landlord laughed. "The only place you can get The Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed Rum is from.....The Big Blue Bejewelled Band of Cursed Pirates!"
"Not more cursed pirates," whined Elizabeth. "How many can there be in the Caribbean?"
"Where are they?"
"No-one knows. They sail the seas in.....The Big Blue Bejewelled Boat of Cursed Sailors!"
"Why are they all big, blue and bejewelled?" asked Elizabeth.
"Their old leader collected sapphires," said the landlord. "When the new
guy took over, he didn't know what to do with all of them. So he stuck them to the boat, the rum bottle, the sailors...... everywhere!"
"Wow," said Will.
"And on top of the mast is mounted the world's only blue diamond! It is called The Heart Of The Ocean, and is a stone so beautiful anyone who sees it but cannot have it will go mad with envy!"
"Will, I want that diamond on my engagement ring!" said Elizabeth decisively.
"And I want to drink from the Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed Rum!" shouted Jack.
"And I want to go with you!" shouted a dark-haired boy from across the bar.
Everyone turned and looked at him.
"Who the hell are you?" asked Jack.
"Mike," replied the boy. "And this is my dog Parker."
A mangy brown mongrel looked at them tiredly from beneath the table and grunted in recognition.
"Oh, let him come with us!" pleaded Elizabeth, eyeing Mike's muscles and square jaw.
"Well, we do need a new crew....." mused Jack.
"Not as much as we need a new boat," said Will.
"Well, we'll deal with that once the crew's all sorted," said Jack defensively. "You're hired!" he said to Mike.
"Yay!" cheered Elizabeth.
"Your first job......put up these posters round the town advertising for a crew," said Jack handing over a sheaf of posters.
"OK," said Mike, striding off out the door with Parker at his heels.
"My, that's a cute butt," muttered Elizabeth to herself.
"What?" asked Will jealously.
"Nothing, nothing," said Elizabeth quickly.
"Maties, we've found an adventure!" cheered Jack.
Rum
2
Later that evening they were sitting in the pub drinking and gossiping. Will was still in a cold sweat from spending the entire contents of his life savings on a dress, and Jack was declaring his supremacy over all to the pub.
"Sho, you see," he slurred, "I'm better than all you shlobs! I carried out the most daring raid ever! On pirates! With gunsh and knivesh and shuch, you know? Bow down before me, for I am your king!"
He waved his hat in the air with a flourish. Someone threw a tankard at him.
"Oh, OH, I SEE! SHMART GUY, HUH?" Jack seized the tankard and threw it back at his assailant, before lunging at him. Will had to forcibly restrain him.
"Leave it, leave it," hissed Will.
There was a snort from behind the bar. "You cannot call yourself the greatest pirate of all until you have drunk from.....The Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed Rum!"
"Rum, did you say?" asked Jack enthusiastically, instantaneously forgetting his desire to kill the guy who threw the tankard. "I'll have some of that! Bring it on!"
The landlord laughed. "The only place you can get The Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed Rum is from.....The Big Blue Bejewelled Band of Cursed Pirates!"
"Not more cursed pirates," whined Elizabeth. "How many can there be in the Caribbean?"
"Where are they?"
"No-one knows. They sail the seas in.....The Big Blue Bejewelled Boat of Cursed Sailors!"
"Why are they all big, blue and bejewelled?" asked Elizabeth.
"Their old leader collected sapphires," said the landlord. "When the new
guy took over, he didn't know what to do with all of them. So he stuck them to the boat, the rum bottle, the sailors...... everywhere!"
"Wow," said Will.
"And on top of the mast is mounted the world's only blue diamond! It is called The Heart Of The Ocean, and is a stone so beautiful anyone who sees it but cannot have it will go mad with envy!"
"Will, I want that diamond on my engagement ring!" said Elizabeth decisively.
"And I want to drink from the Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed Rum!" shouted Jack.
"And I want to go with you!" shouted a dark-haired boy from across the bar.
Everyone turned and looked at him.
"Who the hell are you?" asked Jack.
"Mike," replied the boy. "And this is my dog Parker."
A mangy brown mongrel looked at them tiredly from beneath the table and grunted in recognition.
"Oh, let him come with us!" pleaded Elizabeth, eyeing Mike's muscles and square jaw.
"Well, we do need a new crew....." mused Jack.
"Not as much as we need a new boat," said Will.
"Well, we'll deal with that once the crew's all sorted," said Jack defensively. "You're hired!" he said to Mike.
"Yay!" cheered Elizabeth.
"Your first job......put up these posters round the town advertising for a crew," said Jack handing over a sheaf of posters.
"OK," said Mike, striding off out the door with Parker at his heels.
"My, that's a cute butt," muttered Elizabeth to herself.
"What?" asked Will jealously.
"Nothing, nothing," said Elizabeth quickly.
"Maties, we've found an adventure!" cheered Jack.