Jack Sparrow And The Search For The
Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed
Rum
3
"Right, who's our first applicant?" asked Will.
"A girl named Amber," said Mike, consulting his list.
"Bring her in!" shouted Jack, thumping his rum bottle on the table.
The door swung open and a tall blonde girl bounded in.
"Oh my God, you look so much like Bambi!" she squealed at Jack. "That is SO your new nickname!"
"I thought I told you to screen out the psychos," Jack muttered at Will, blushing furiously.
"I did," said Will defensively.
"Who did you reject?" asked Jack incredulously.
"The psychos," said Will.
"What did you think she was?" hissed Jack.
Amber cleared her throat.
"So, what's your name?" Jack asked Amber.
"Amber, you idiot," said Will, elbowing Jack. "Mike just said it!"
"Be nice to Bambi," said Amber reproachfully, glaring at Will.
Elizabeth snorted with laughter.
"How old are you, Amber?" asked Jack quickly, turning from red to purple.
"Eighteen," replied Amber, sitting down on one of the various sofas around the room and putting her feet up. She pulled out a copy of Cosmo and started flicking through it.
"I like her," said Elizabeth.
"Me too," said Will. "You're hired!"
"Great!" said Amber.
"Oh noooooo," muttered Jack.
"Who's next?" asked Will.
"Another girl called Henny," said Mike.
"What kind of name is Henny?" asked Elizabeth disparagingly.
Will didn't say anything. Once the bitch was out, it was wise to say nothing until it went back in again.
"Hi, I'm Henny," said a red-haired girl as she glided through the door. "Who are you guys?"
"I'm Amber, and this is Will, Elizabeth, Mike and Bambi," said Amber.
"It's Jack," said Jack through gritted teeth.
Henny wasn't listening. Neither was Mike. They had their eyes fixed on each other and their mouths hanging slightly open. You could practically hear the cheesy romantic music in the background.
"Hi," breathed Henny.
"Hi," gasped Mike. Suddenly they threw themselves at each other and started making out on the spot.
"I like her," said Jack, no doubt hoping that he would elicit the same response once he had shed the nickname of 'Bambi' which, let's face it, was hardly an aphrodisiac.
"I don't," said Elizabeth petulantly.
"You're hired!" said Will.
Henny gave them the thumbs up and went to sit down on one of the sofas. Mike returned to his seat with the selection panel.
"Who's next?" asked Jack, winking at Henny, who ignored him.
"Just a minute," said Mike, straightening his clothes and smoothing down his hair. "The next applicant is another girl named Anne."
"Another girl?" moaned Elizabeth. "Where are all the gorgeous young men?"
"Don't think we'll be getting many of those," said Mike.
"Why? Jack? What did you put on the posters?" asked Elizabeth suspiciously.
Jack became very interested in a small mole on the back of his hand.
"Jack?"
"Here," said Mike, handing her a poster.
Elizabeth's eyes widened as she read it. "Female crewmates required. Non- smokers, non-ugly. Girlfriends, wives or teetotallers need not apply. Jack!" she shouted angrily.
"What?" asked Jack defensively.
"Errm, can I come in yet?" asked a small voice from outside the door.
"Yeah, yeah, OK," said Will.
The door swung open and a petite black-haired girl sprang in clutching a sketchbook and box of pencils. "Hi, I'm Anne," she said breathlessly. "I just graduated from art school. I'm pleased to meet you." She sat down on the nearest sofa, flipped open her sketchbook and started drawing rapidly.
"So......Anne......how old are you?" asked Jack.
"21," replied Anne, not looking up from her drawing.
"You're hired!" said Mike.
"Great," said Anne, still focused on the sketchbook.
"Why do you want to join our ship?" asked Elizabeth.
"I figure it would give me loads more stuff to draw. Plus I like boats. All done!" Anne held up her notebook. Drawn in pencil was a perfect image of Jack, right down to the last bead.
"Wow, Bambi, that is so you!" exclaimed Amber.
"Bambi?" said Anne questioningly.
"That's his name," explained Amber.
"No it isn't! My name is Jack!" yelled Jack desperately.
"Yeah, like, am I too, like, late for that whole, like, crew thing?" A girl with bleached blonde hair, several earrings and a large wad of bubblegum leant round the door.
"No. Who are you?" asked Mike, consulting his list.
"Izzy," said the girl, blowing a large bubble.
"I don't seem to have you on my list," said Mike.
"Yeah, like, about that, I was, like, going to, like, apply, only I, like, didn't," she drawled, examining her mascara-laden eyelashes with a mirror.
"Oh, well, that's OK," said Mike slowly. "Why do you want to join our crew?"
"Whoa, like, the posters didn't, like, say anything about, like, an exam," she said.
"It's not, but we like to ask," said Will.
"Oh, you mean, like, psychometric, like, testing? Whoa, that was, like, four syllables!" she exclaimed, looking proud of herself.
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at Will.
"Yeah, so, like, can I, like, join you guys?" she asked.
"Well........yeah, OK," said Will hesitantly.
"Wow, like, rad," she said.
"Rad?" said Elizabeth questioningly.
"Yeah, rad, cool, like, great," explained Izzy inarticulately, flopping down on the sofa next to Anne.
Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed
Rum
3
"Right, who's our first applicant?" asked Will.
"A girl named Amber," said Mike, consulting his list.
"Bring her in!" shouted Jack, thumping his rum bottle on the table.
The door swung open and a tall blonde girl bounded in.
"Oh my God, you look so much like Bambi!" she squealed at Jack. "That is SO your new nickname!"
"I thought I told you to screen out the psychos," Jack muttered at Will, blushing furiously.
"I did," said Will defensively.
"Who did you reject?" asked Jack incredulously.
"The psychos," said Will.
"What did you think she was?" hissed Jack.
Amber cleared her throat.
"So, what's your name?" Jack asked Amber.
"Amber, you idiot," said Will, elbowing Jack. "Mike just said it!"
"Be nice to Bambi," said Amber reproachfully, glaring at Will.
Elizabeth snorted with laughter.
"How old are you, Amber?" asked Jack quickly, turning from red to purple.
"Eighteen," replied Amber, sitting down on one of the various sofas around the room and putting her feet up. She pulled out a copy of Cosmo and started flicking through it.
"I like her," said Elizabeth.
"Me too," said Will. "You're hired!"
"Great!" said Amber.
"Oh noooooo," muttered Jack.
"Who's next?" asked Will.
"Another girl called Henny," said Mike.
"What kind of name is Henny?" asked Elizabeth disparagingly.
Will didn't say anything. Once the bitch was out, it was wise to say nothing until it went back in again.
"Hi, I'm Henny," said a red-haired girl as she glided through the door. "Who are you guys?"
"I'm Amber, and this is Will, Elizabeth, Mike and Bambi," said Amber.
"It's Jack," said Jack through gritted teeth.
Henny wasn't listening. Neither was Mike. They had their eyes fixed on each other and their mouths hanging slightly open. You could practically hear the cheesy romantic music in the background.
"Hi," breathed Henny.
"Hi," gasped Mike. Suddenly they threw themselves at each other and started making out on the spot.
"I like her," said Jack, no doubt hoping that he would elicit the same response once he had shed the nickname of 'Bambi' which, let's face it, was hardly an aphrodisiac.
"I don't," said Elizabeth petulantly.
"You're hired!" said Will.
Henny gave them the thumbs up and went to sit down on one of the sofas. Mike returned to his seat with the selection panel.
"Who's next?" asked Jack, winking at Henny, who ignored him.
"Just a minute," said Mike, straightening his clothes and smoothing down his hair. "The next applicant is another girl named Anne."
"Another girl?" moaned Elizabeth. "Where are all the gorgeous young men?"
"Don't think we'll be getting many of those," said Mike.
"Why? Jack? What did you put on the posters?" asked Elizabeth suspiciously.
Jack became very interested in a small mole on the back of his hand.
"Jack?"
"Here," said Mike, handing her a poster.
Elizabeth's eyes widened as she read it. "Female crewmates required. Non- smokers, non-ugly. Girlfriends, wives or teetotallers need not apply. Jack!" she shouted angrily.
"What?" asked Jack defensively.
"Errm, can I come in yet?" asked a small voice from outside the door.
"Yeah, yeah, OK," said Will.
The door swung open and a petite black-haired girl sprang in clutching a sketchbook and box of pencils. "Hi, I'm Anne," she said breathlessly. "I just graduated from art school. I'm pleased to meet you." She sat down on the nearest sofa, flipped open her sketchbook and started drawing rapidly.
"So......Anne......how old are you?" asked Jack.
"21," replied Anne, not looking up from her drawing.
"You're hired!" said Mike.
"Great," said Anne, still focused on the sketchbook.
"Why do you want to join our ship?" asked Elizabeth.
"I figure it would give me loads more stuff to draw. Plus I like boats. All done!" Anne held up her notebook. Drawn in pencil was a perfect image of Jack, right down to the last bead.
"Wow, Bambi, that is so you!" exclaimed Amber.
"Bambi?" said Anne questioningly.
"That's his name," explained Amber.
"No it isn't! My name is Jack!" yelled Jack desperately.
"Yeah, like, am I too, like, late for that whole, like, crew thing?" A girl with bleached blonde hair, several earrings and a large wad of bubblegum leant round the door.
"No. Who are you?" asked Mike, consulting his list.
"Izzy," said the girl, blowing a large bubble.
"I don't seem to have you on my list," said Mike.
"Yeah, like, about that, I was, like, going to, like, apply, only I, like, didn't," she drawled, examining her mascara-laden eyelashes with a mirror.
"Oh, well, that's OK," said Mike slowly. "Why do you want to join our crew?"
"Whoa, like, the posters didn't, like, say anything about, like, an exam," she said.
"It's not, but we like to ask," said Will.
"Oh, you mean, like, psychometric, like, testing? Whoa, that was, like, four syllables!" she exclaimed, looking proud of herself.
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at Will.
"Yeah, so, like, can I, like, join you guys?" she asked.
"Well........yeah, OK," said Will hesitantly.
"Wow, like, rad," she said.
"Rad?" said Elizabeth questioningly.
"Yeah, rad, cool, like, great," explained Izzy inarticulately, flopping down on the sofa next to Anne.