Jack Sparrow And The Search For The
Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed
Rum
4
"Who's left to come?" asked Elizabeth.
"Three girls called Beebee and Feefee and Geegee," said Mike slowly, examining his list.
Elizabeth gasped. "Not THE Beebee, Feefee and Geegee?" she asked quickly.
"Who are The Beebee, Feefee and Geegee?" asked Will nervously. Jack shrugged.
Suddenly the room was filled with excited squeals.
"Leelee!" Three girls dressed entirely in high fashion, heavily manicured and pedicured and dripping with diamonds burst through the doors laden down with shopping bags, shrieking at the top of their lungs.
Parker whined.
"Beebee, Feefee, Geegee, darlings!" shrieked Elizabeth.
All the girls shrieked and hugged each other. Parker whined again and buried his nose under the edge of the carpet, then put his paws over his ears.
"Wow.....Beebee, Feefee and Geegee, the one and only unholy trinity," muttered Mike.
"So last we heard you were going to get married....where is the lucky guy?" said Beebee excitedly.
Elizabeth pointed at Will. Beebee, Feefee and Geegee shrieked and flapped their hands excitedly at Will, then rushed at him. Will promptly fell backwards off his chair trying to avoid the flailing hands.
"Wow! I wouldn't have thought the Commodore would look so young!" exclaimed Feefee.
"Or so handsome!" shrieked Geegee.
"Or so much like the blacksmith's apprentice!" giggled Beebee.
There was a silence.
"Erm...he is the blacksmith's apprentice," said Elizabeth.
"But Leelee.....I thought you were going to marry the Commodore," said Beebee eventually.
"Did he dump you?" asked Geegee sympathetically.
"That bastard!" shrieked Feefee.
"Poor Leelee," said Beebee consolingly.
"No, no, it's good!" said Elizabeth encouragingly. "I dumped him because I wanted to marry Will instead!"
There was another long silence.
"Why?" asked Geegee.
"Well, because I loved him," said Elizabeth.
"But he's a blacksmith!" protested Feefee.
"I'm a pirate!" insisted Will.
"Yeah, honey, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better," said Elizabeth.
"Right, yeah, let me, like, see if I've, like, got this straight," drawled Izzy. "She, like, chose to marry, like, Mr Gorgeous over there over, like, a really old guy, you know, and, like, you're ribbing her about it?"
"Yeah," said Beebee.
"When you put it like that, it does sound kind of silly," conceded Geegee.
"Thank you," said Elizabeth appreciatively.
Suddenly the door swung open again and a tall slim girl strutted in. She had long blonde hair down to her waist and a beautiful dress. She was holding a tiny, baby-pink mobile phone up to one ear with a perfectly manicured hand. Her fingernails resembled highly polished talons.
"So, yars, yars.....So I said, I know it's expensive, Daddy, but that dress is simply exquisite.....yars.......yars, I so agree....." she said into her phone in a plummy voice.
"Can we help you?" enquired Mike.
"What? Oh, I don't know......some common person......yars, isn't it just dreadful?"
"Excuse us, but can we help you?" repeated Mike frostily.
"Oh, got to go, Tabitha....yars....we'll talk about the wedding later......let's have lunch! Yars....yars.....bye, dahling." She flipped the phone shut and smiled widely at the group, flashing neon-white teeth.
Elizabeth gasped, then glared. "Hello, Madeline," she said frostily.
Madeline tossed her head. "Elizabeth."
"What brings you here?" said Elizabeth coolly.
"I wanted to meet your new fiancé. It's simply wonderful that you chose to dump the Commodore, though. So where is he?"
"The Commodore? Probably off sulking somewhere," said Jack.
Madeline rolled her eyes. "I meant her new fiancé, idiot."
"Be nice to Bambi," said Anne, Hetty and Amber.
"Bambi?" said Madeline. "Wasn't that the co-dependent little deer?"
"That's, like, his name," explained Izzy.
"No it isn't!" shrieked Jack, tearing out clumps of hair.
"So," said Madeline, giving Jack a strange look, "where is your new fiancé?"
Elizabeth pointed at Will, who cowered beneath the table for fear of being charged at again.
"Oh, isn't he just charming? And it's so uncanny how he looks just like the blacksmith's apprentice!" Madeleine cooed with a sugary smile.
Will crouched even further beneath the table. He recognised that look Elizabeth did whenever she wished she could forget decorum and politeness and just kill someone. He also knew that when that look surfaced, someone was going to suffer, and it was usually him.
"He is the blacksmith's apprentice," growled Elizabeth through gritted teeth.
"Oh, really? Well isn't that just sweet," said Madeline smugly. She very deliberately tipped her clutch bag upside down so that a single envelope fell out. "Oh, silly me!" she giggled, "what's this I've dropped? Oh, I remember, it's an invitation to me and the Commodore's wedding!"
Elizabeth gasped and Will braced himself. He didn't like the sound of this.
"You're....you're marrying the Commodore?" she gasped.
"Well, you can't expect him to be depressed over you for the rest of his life," said Madeline.
"I only dumped him two days ago!" shrieked Elizabeth.
"So? He came in search of greener pastures. Hey, check out the ring." Madeline held out her hand so that Elizabeth could see the single pink diamond mounted on the platinum ring.
Elizabeth mouthed noiselessly. "That's.....but that's....."
"One of the twelve Pink Pretty Stones of Desire? I know," said Madeline smugly. "The Commodore got it just for me."
Elizabeth tried to think of a reply. Suddenly her eyes lit up.
"Who cares about some poxy Pink Pretty Stone Of Desire?" she said sarcastically. "Will's going to get me The Heart Of The Ocean for my ring."
Will started up. This did not sound good. "Errr....Elizabeth, about that..."
"I know that you love me darling, but sometimes it would be better if you kept your mouth shut rather than keep telling me so," said Elizabeth sweetly but pointedly.
"Isn't there only one of those?" asked Madeline sceptically.
"Yes, but Will's going to get it for me. Aren't you, darling?" she said, stamping on his hand with her stiletto.
Never had the word 'darling' carried so much menace.
"Ow! Yes, dear," said Will reluctantly.
"Isn't it guarded by cursed pirates?" asked Madeline.
"Yes, but that won't stop him, will it, darling?" said Elizabeth threateningly.
"No darling," said Will, defeated.
"So, you see, I don't really need a Pink Pretty Stone of Desire," said Elizabeth smugly.
Madeline looked more than slightly pissed off.
"So, did you want to join our ship?" said Mike, trying to fill the silence.
"No. I have a wedding to plan!" said Madeline haughtily. "See you round, Elizabeth." She swept out of the room.
Elizabeth cheered and jumped up and down. "Yes! I won, I won!" she shrieked. "She'll never try to put me down again!"
"That's great!" said Will enthusiastically. "So I don't need to get you The Heart Of The Ocean after all!"
Elizabeth stopped dancing around the room and looked at him incredulously. Will felt a feeling of dread settle in his stomach.
"Do I?" he asked timidly.
"Of course you do! I have to be able to show it off in front of her, don't I?" said Elizabeth.
"Do you?" asked Will desperately.
"Yes!"
"OK then," said Will reluctantly.
"That it then? No-one else coming?" asked Jack.
"Nope," said Mike.
"All right, me hearties, to the pub for a celebratory drink!" cheered Jack.
"Yay, go Bambi!" shrieked Geegee.
Jack rolled his eyes and let it pass.
Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed
Rum
4
"Who's left to come?" asked Elizabeth.
"Three girls called Beebee and Feefee and Geegee," said Mike slowly, examining his list.
Elizabeth gasped. "Not THE Beebee, Feefee and Geegee?" she asked quickly.
"Who are The Beebee, Feefee and Geegee?" asked Will nervously. Jack shrugged.
Suddenly the room was filled with excited squeals.
"Leelee!" Three girls dressed entirely in high fashion, heavily manicured and pedicured and dripping with diamonds burst through the doors laden down with shopping bags, shrieking at the top of their lungs.
Parker whined.
"Beebee, Feefee, Geegee, darlings!" shrieked Elizabeth.
All the girls shrieked and hugged each other. Parker whined again and buried his nose under the edge of the carpet, then put his paws over his ears.
"Wow.....Beebee, Feefee and Geegee, the one and only unholy trinity," muttered Mike.
"So last we heard you were going to get married....where is the lucky guy?" said Beebee excitedly.
Elizabeth pointed at Will. Beebee, Feefee and Geegee shrieked and flapped their hands excitedly at Will, then rushed at him. Will promptly fell backwards off his chair trying to avoid the flailing hands.
"Wow! I wouldn't have thought the Commodore would look so young!" exclaimed Feefee.
"Or so handsome!" shrieked Geegee.
"Or so much like the blacksmith's apprentice!" giggled Beebee.
There was a silence.
"Erm...he is the blacksmith's apprentice," said Elizabeth.
"But Leelee.....I thought you were going to marry the Commodore," said Beebee eventually.
"Did he dump you?" asked Geegee sympathetically.
"That bastard!" shrieked Feefee.
"Poor Leelee," said Beebee consolingly.
"No, no, it's good!" said Elizabeth encouragingly. "I dumped him because I wanted to marry Will instead!"
There was another long silence.
"Why?" asked Geegee.
"Well, because I loved him," said Elizabeth.
"But he's a blacksmith!" protested Feefee.
"I'm a pirate!" insisted Will.
"Yeah, honey, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better," said Elizabeth.
"Right, yeah, let me, like, see if I've, like, got this straight," drawled Izzy. "She, like, chose to marry, like, Mr Gorgeous over there over, like, a really old guy, you know, and, like, you're ribbing her about it?"
"Yeah," said Beebee.
"When you put it like that, it does sound kind of silly," conceded Geegee.
"Thank you," said Elizabeth appreciatively.
Suddenly the door swung open again and a tall slim girl strutted in. She had long blonde hair down to her waist and a beautiful dress. She was holding a tiny, baby-pink mobile phone up to one ear with a perfectly manicured hand. Her fingernails resembled highly polished talons.
"So, yars, yars.....So I said, I know it's expensive, Daddy, but that dress is simply exquisite.....yars.......yars, I so agree....." she said into her phone in a plummy voice.
"Can we help you?" enquired Mike.
"What? Oh, I don't know......some common person......yars, isn't it just dreadful?"
"Excuse us, but can we help you?" repeated Mike frostily.
"Oh, got to go, Tabitha....yars....we'll talk about the wedding later......let's have lunch! Yars....yars.....bye, dahling." She flipped the phone shut and smiled widely at the group, flashing neon-white teeth.
Elizabeth gasped, then glared. "Hello, Madeline," she said frostily.
Madeline tossed her head. "Elizabeth."
"What brings you here?" said Elizabeth coolly.
"I wanted to meet your new fiancé. It's simply wonderful that you chose to dump the Commodore, though. So where is he?"
"The Commodore? Probably off sulking somewhere," said Jack.
Madeline rolled her eyes. "I meant her new fiancé, idiot."
"Be nice to Bambi," said Anne, Hetty and Amber.
"Bambi?" said Madeline. "Wasn't that the co-dependent little deer?"
"That's, like, his name," explained Izzy.
"No it isn't!" shrieked Jack, tearing out clumps of hair.
"So," said Madeline, giving Jack a strange look, "where is your new fiancé?"
Elizabeth pointed at Will, who cowered beneath the table for fear of being charged at again.
"Oh, isn't he just charming? And it's so uncanny how he looks just like the blacksmith's apprentice!" Madeleine cooed with a sugary smile.
Will crouched even further beneath the table. He recognised that look Elizabeth did whenever she wished she could forget decorum and politeness and just kill someone. He also knew that when that look surfaced, someone was going to suffer, and it was usually him.
"He is the blacksmith's apprentice," growled Elizabeth through gritted teeth.
"Oh, really? Well isn't that just sweet," said Madeline smugly. She very deliberately tipped her clutch bag upside down so that a single envelope fell out. "Oh, silly me!" she giggled, "what's this I've dropped? Oh, I remember, it's an invitation to me and the Commodore's wedding!"
Elizabeth gasped and Will braced himself. He didn't like the sound of this.
"You're....you're marrying the Commodore?" she gasped.
"Well, you can't expect him to be depressed over you for the rest of his life," said Madeline.
"I only dumped him two days ago!" shrieked Elizabeth.
"So? He came in search of greener pastures. Hey, check out the ring." Madeline held out her hand so that Elizabeth could see the single pink diamond mounted on the platinum ring.
Elizabeth mouthed noiselessly. "That's.....but that's....."
"One of the twelve Pink Pretty Stones of Desire? I know," said Madeline smugly. "The Commodore got it just for me."
Elizabeth tried to think of a reply. Suddenly her eyes lit up.
"Who cares about some poxy Pink Pretty Stone Of Desire?" she said sarcastically. "Will's going to get me The Heart Of The Ocean for my ring."
Will started up. This did not sound good. "Errr....Elizabeth, about that..."
"I know that you love me darling, but sometimes it would be better if you kept your mouth shut rather than keep telling me so," said Elizabeth sweetly but pointedly.
"Isn't there only one of those?" asked Madeline sceptically.
"Yes, but Will's going to get it for me. Aren't you, darling?" she said, stamping on his hand with her stiletto.
Never had the word 'darling' carried so much menace.
"Ow! Yes, dear," said Will reluctantly.
"Isn't it guarded by cursed pirates?" asked Madeline.
"Yes, but that won't stop him, will it, darling?" said Elizabeth threateningly.
"No darling," said Will, defeated.
"So, you see, I don't really need a Pink Pretty Stone of Desire," said Elizabeth smugly.
Madeline looked more than slightly pissed off.
"So, did you want to join our ship?" said Mike, trying to fill the silence.
"No. I have a wedding to plan!" said Madeline haughtily. "See you round, Elizabeth." She swept out of the room.
Elizabeth cheered and jumped up and down. "Yes! I won, I won!" she shrieked. "She'll never try to put me down again!"
"That's great!" said Will enthusiastically. "So I don't need to get you The Heart Of The Ocean after all!"
Elizabeth stopped dancing around the room and looked at him incredulously. Will felt a feeling of dread settle in his stomach.
"Do I?" he asked timidly.
"Of course you do! I have to be able to show it off in front of her, don't I?" said Elizabeth.
"Do you?" asked Will desperately.
"Yes!"
"OK then," said Will reluctantly.
"That it then? No-one else coming?" asked Jack.
"Nope," said Mike.
"All right, me hearties, to the pub for a celebratory drink!" cheered Jack.
"Yay, go Bambi!" shrieked Geegee.
Jack rolled his eyes and let it pass.