Title: Welcoming Oblivion
Author: Jeanine (jeanine@iol.ie)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sara/Warrick
Spoilers: Everything up to the end of season three
Feedback: Makes my day
Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.
Archive: At my site Checkmate () , Fanfiction.net; anywhere else, please ask.
Summary: Warrick wants to forget too.
Notes: Companion piece to Seeking Oblivion. Written for the LiveJournal CSReports "Forget" challenge
***
He's pretty sure she doesn't know it, but he can't see her without remembering the first time he met her. It was in that casino on Blue Diamond Road, when he was gambling with his life, and her eyes, her voice, left him in no doubt as to how badly he'd screwed up.
Not that it's the first thing he thinks about. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then, and they're friends now, sometimes more than friends. He hasn't gambled in a long time and she's told him that the more she sees of Vegas casinos, the less she thinks of him as a gambler. He knows that should hearten him, but it doesn't, because he knows who he is, what he is, and like the scorpion in the fable, he can't deny his nature.
He's a gambler, and every time he picks up the phone at a certain time of day and hears her voice, every time he walks into this bar, he remembers that.
He knows what will happen, but like a moth to a flame, he will be powerless to resist her.
He will see her, in her usual spot at the end of the bar, and he will count the shot glasses in front of her before he says anything. He will ask her if she's ok, but she won't answer. Instead, he will see her fighting tears, will put his arm around her and walk her out to his car. He will have to fight to concentrate as they drive, her hungry gaze bringing back memories of the other nights that they have done this, and he will know what will happen when they stand at her door.
She will kiss him, and he will let her, and the last part of his mind devoted to rational thought will push her away, will ask her if she's sure.
She will smile, will pull him to her and lead him to her bedroom, to her bed. She will not answer him in words, but in actions, in the way her body responds to his. He will know that she's been drinking, will know that's one of the many reasons that they shouldn't be doing this. He will remember that he's a gambler, that he's gambling with his life, with their friendship, and he will not care.
Because when Sara is in his arms, when he is with her like this, he won't remember how she looked at him the first time they met, he won't remember how it made - how it still makes - him feel. He won't remember what brought them here, he won't think about what she might be trying to forget.
He will forget about everything but her, and he will welcome the oblivion.