February, 2005

"CJ, I don't want to die when I only just started living!"

The words kept repeating in CJ's head as, nearly blinded by tears, she watched the casket being lowered into the freshly dug grave. With one arm wrapped around Simon's waist, his hand gripping hers in a bone-crushing grip, CJ wished her husband would snap out of his stupor. Her concern over his numbed state kept growing steadily over the last three days, since the agonizing evening his daughter died in their arms. Simon didn't once cry, or for that matter speak, other than to the funeral director. Nights he slept in Nikki's room, holding on to her favorite Teddy bear, while CJ dozed in the chair next to what used to be her bed. With the medical equipment gone, the room looked like a typical 17-year-old girl's room.

Except that its occupant wasn't there, and would never come back.

***

May 2002

"So, I gotta ask you – who's the 'squirt' you've been calling every so often when I keep you at work late?"

It was CJ's first question when they sat down for drinks after the play in New York. She knew Simon was single – the hunger in his eyes and the passion when they finally kissed attested to that. Uncharacteristically, she also trusted him enough to feel he wouldn't be two-timing her; yet there were these phone calls she overheard at times…

"My daughter, Nicole."

"Oh…wow, I guess…" CJ stopped, feeling stupid. Why it never occurred to her that Simon probably had a life before they met was beyond her.

"Wow, you guess?" Simon looked at her apprehensively. He didn't expect her to be that flustered just hearing he had a daughter…what was going to happen when she heard the rest of it?

"No, it's just…I feel pretty stupid for not thinking in that direction…" she blushed, and he relaxed, and laughed softly.

"Well, you know, I don't actually give vibes of having life outside the Secret Service when I'm in Agent mode."

She smiled at him, and touched his hand. She wanted to know him; in every way possible. Would his having a child complicate their budding relationship? She sighed and looked at him. She just wanted to have drinks and savor the beginning of a new relationship…But she had to ask.

"How often do you see her? How old is she?"

He looked at her, amused. "You assume she lives with her mother? That's kind."

CJ gaped at him. "But…your job…I mean how can you parent? You're joking, right?"

He shook his head. "Nope. My brother and his wife live just outside DC. They help when I have to travel. And Nik just turned 14, so it's not like she's a baby."

He sighed and looked at his glass for a moment.

"How much do you know about Cystic Fibrosis?" he asked softly.