Title: You Bastard, There are Hazards to Ice Skating
Sequel to: You Yellow Rat Bastard
Write: Azure K Mello
Disclaimer: I borrowed my ice skates from a girl named Jess, I borrowed my
characters for JKR. Big props to Armistead Maupin for a stolen tone. If you
haven't read Tales you are seriously missing out.
Dedicated to the person that told me that Quaaludes were a drug of the
eighties and it was time I moved on.
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"I hate you."
"How many times must I tell you that you don't?"
"I'm cold, Sigh." James said.
"You'll warm up once were on the ice," replied Sirius who was running in place, his breath was a cloud in front of him.
"Hold me?" asked James and was instantly enveloped in warm arms. "Do you remember what happened last time I tried to skate?"
"Is that what this is?" asked Sirius pulling back slightly. "You think your going to make an ass of yourself? For Christ's sakes James, you are so self-conscious. So you aren't as agile on the ice as you are on a broom, big fucking deal. No one here knows you, no one will know that the great James Potter fell on his arse. Your tow left feet won't get you noticed, baby. Lighten up, have some fun." He kissed James' forehead.
"I'm pissing you off aren't I?"
"No, I'm just cold too." Said Sirius wrapping his arms back around James.
"Wanna go back to the room, we can warm up, and hey! I have a bag of poppers!"
"Poppers? You belong back in Yellow Rat Bastard, they're the drug of the seventies. Allow me to drag you kicking (and possibly screaming) into this decade by introducing you to 'ludes when we get back to the room. But 'ludes are better if you're exhausted."
"I know of better physical exertions that could tire us out." Said James in a soft purr.
"Yes, love, but it will get us arrested if we do that here and I still want to get a closer look at the Christmas tree."
"I love Christmas, have I properly thanked you for this trip?"
"Twice before breakfast," said Sirius with a smirk.
"Ya know what else I love?"
"Me," replied Sirius. The statement was said with no hubris nor was it a question, it was simply a statement of the truth.
"That's right." The line was slow moving but they were nearing the front.
"So what are Lily and Harry doing for Christmas?"
"Lily and Remus were going to Tobago. We got Harry the cutest little swimsuit."
Sirius thought it was refreshing that James and Lily had such a healthy relationship. They had been told they had to marry at age ten because of some prophecy. They had hated each other through out adolescence looking forward to their loveless marriage. But somewhere in their late teens the two had realized that they were good friends and that if they were to be forced to marry one another it wouldn't be the end of the world. They had gone to bed together once and once only after a party and were quite drunk. The result had been the love of their lives: the birth of their son Harry.
Suddenly dusk fell and the tree lit up. James sighed, "God, isn't that beautiful?" he leaned back against Sirius's broad chest. "I hope we get on the ice soon, I'm bloody freezing." Sirius smiled into James' hair but said nothing. Christmas carols were pumping out of someplace hidden and he was enjoying all the sounds around him. Finally they stepped out onto the ice. James took a few hesitant sliding steps before feeling comfortable enough to let go of the wall. He glided for a moment and turned back to Sirius, "You're right. This isn't too hard." He smiled widely and skated backwards for a moment. "This is great." Sirius smiled and held him around the waist. Spinning him around he kissed James full on the lips. They looked at the tree together and smiled. Suddenly in the blink of an eye James found himself on his arse.
"How the hell did you manage that?" asked Sirius trying so hard not to smile. "We weren't even moving." He lost it and started to laugh. He couldn't help it, James was cute when pissed off.
"Sigh," said James, "Ya know how when it's cold your eyes tear a little?" Sirius nodded not seeing where this was going. "You've got eyeliner all down your face."
"Oh do shut up, love." Said Sirius but James had stopped the laughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I hate you."
"How many times must I tell you that you don't?"
"I'm cold, Sigh." James said.
"You'll warm up once were on the ice," replied Sirius who was running in place, his breath was a cloud in front of him.
"Hold me?" asked James and was instantly enveloped in warm arms. "Do you remember what happened last time I tried to skate?"
"Is that what this is?" asked Sirius pulling back slightly. "You think your going to make an ass of yourself? For Christ's sakes James, you are so self-conscious. So you aren't as agile on the ice as you are on a broom, big fucking deal. No one here knows you, no one will know that the great James Potter fell on his arse. Your tow left feet won't get you noticed, baby. Lighten up, have some fun." He kissed James' forehead.
"I'm pissing you off aren't I?"
"No, I'm just cold too." Said Sirius wrapping his arms back around James.
"Wanna go back to the room, we can warm up, and hey! I have a bag of poppers!"
"Poppers? You belong back in Yellow Rat Bastard, they're the drug of the seventies. Allow me to drag you kicking (and possibly screaming) into this decade by introducing you to 'ludes when we get back to the room. But 'ludes are better if you're exhausted."
"I know of better physical exertions that could tire us out." Said James in a soft purr.
"Yes, love, but it will get us arrested if we do that here and I still want to get a closer look at the Christmas tree."
"I love Christmas, have I properly thanked you for this trip?"
"Twice before breakfast," said Sirius with a smirk.
"Ya know what else I love?"
"Me," replied Sirius. The statement was said with no hubris nor was it a question, it was simply a statement of the truth.
"That's right." The line was slow moving but they were nearing the front.
"So what are Lily and Harry doing for Christmas?"
"Lily and Remus were going to Tobago. We got Harry the cutest little swimsuit."
Sirius thought it was refreshing that James and Lily had such a healthy relationship. They had been told they had to marry at age ten because of some prophecy. They had hated each other through out adolescence looking forward to their loveless marriage. But somewhere in their late teens the two had realized that they were good friends and that if they were to be forced to marry one another it wouldn't be the end of the world. They had gone to bed together once and once only after a party and were quite drunk. The result had been the love of their lives: the birth of their son Harry.
Suddenly dusk fell and the tree lit up. James sighed, "God, isn't that beautiful?" he leaned back against Sirius's broad chest. "I hope we get on the ice soon, I'm bloody freezing." Sirius smiled into James' hair but said nothing. Christmas carols were pumping out of someplace hidden and he was enjoying all the sounds around him. Finally they stepped out onto the ice. James took a few hesitant sliding steps before feeling comfortable enough to let go of the wall. He glided for a moment and turned back to Sirius, "You're right. This isn't too hard." He smiled widely and skated backwards for a moment. "This is great." Sirius smiled and held him around the waist. Spinning him around he kissed James full on the lips. They looked at the tree together and smiled. Suddenly in the blink of an eye James found himself on his arse.
"How the hell did you manage that?" asked Sirius trying so hard not to smile. "We weren't even moving." He lost it and started to laugh. He couldn't help it, James was cute when pissed off.
"Sigh," said James, "Ya know how when it's cold your eyes tear a little?" Sirius nodded not seeing where this was going. "You've got eyeliner all down your face."
"Oh do shut up, love." Said Sirius but James had stopped the laughter.