"You"

Free. It's a pretty word, isn't? I always thought I was. Free, that is. Not pretty. Even though some people would say otherwise. But, when I think about it, I realise I'm not. Not at all. I haven't lost any limbs and I won't have to depend on other people to get about. I haven't broken any laws so I'm not locked up. Although, that probably wouldn't be such a bad idea. Maybe it'd help clear my head a bit because right now there's only one thing in it.

You.

You're the only thing I want. You're the only one I want to see or talk to sometimes. I never thought I'd say this but you're the only one I could imagine myself having a future with.

To make matters worse, I can never tell you. They wouldn't understand. You wouldn't understand. You'd never leave your wife. I know I can never have you but that doesn't stop me wanting you. All we can ever be is friends. I guess I'm lucky we're best friends. Aren't best friends supposed to be able to say everything to each other? Everything they think and feel and want?

I want to kiss you. I want to grab you, in the middle of the messtent and kiss you and tell you I love you. I can't do that, though. No one would understand and we'd both get kicked out of here. That would be perfect but your life would be ruined, that would be dreadful. Mine's already ruined so it doesn't matter.

The only person I can tell this to is myself and I'm even getting fed up hearing my self think about you. I really do have a one track mind. Just not the kind everyone thinks.

If I can't have you, I can't be happy and if I can't be happy I'll never be free to do what I want.

If I can't be free then what's the point of anything?