Slowly, Shalimar awoke. Disoriented. She opened her eyes and looked around. She sighed in relief. She was in the lab at Sanctuary. Jumbled images flood her mind. She was not sure of what had actually transpired over the last few days. All she was sure of was that she felt very tired, and very sore… but nothing felt broken.
She could sense someone was there. She turned her head and found her hand tangled in Adam's. His was sleeping with his head resting near their hands. She had a dream about him. At least, she thought she had a dream about him. In the dream, she had been hurt as she was now- it seemed-, and had just awaken. She had heard someone professing their of love for her, and as he continued to speak, she recognized the owner of that voice. Adam. Sadness flooded her as she realized it must have been a dream. Of late, she had realized what her heart's desire really was- for Adam to love her as much as she loved him.
Slowly, she rose to a sitting position. Her abs protested every move. But, she had made her mind up to kiss him. AND, when Shalimar Fox made up her mind up to do something, she would endure what she had to in order to accomplish that goal. It took several tries, but finally she was able to bend over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She fell back into the bed, with a thump. She had to bit her lip, and squeeze her eyes shut as she tried to keep from crying out aloud. She panted as trying to catch her breath, and broke out in a sweat from her exertion. For a few minutes, she feared she was going to pass out.
When the pain, and her breathing returned to a more tolerable level, she opened her eyes once again. She found two brown ones looking intently back at her.
Adam had awakened slightly at the touch of her lips but then fully from the sounds of her stifled moans. When she opened her eyes, he saw guardedness. 'Had she forgot the feelings they had given a voice to just a few hours ago?' 'Had she only profess her love, because she was under the influence of medications? What did he do now?'
'Why is he looking at me that way?' She detected confusion, but something more. She saw the veil he used to conceal his true feelings slammed back into place before she figure what she had seen.
"Do I want to know how the other one, or ones looks?" She asked. She grimaced when she shifted position.
"Well… let's just say, you ended up on the losing end?" Adam picked up his nearby palm scanner, and reviewed her readings. All were normal. "What do you remember?"
Her forehead wrinkled as she tried to pull the jumbled pictures of her thoughts into some kind of order. "You sent me and Brennan to the Great Smokies to investigate the deaths of four hikers over the last six weeks. There had also been three sights of a mysterious creature. From the sketchy details in the local news, and the police reports, you questioned if a New Mutant was the attacker. We had been there about a day, when two more hikers were found dead. They had a video camera. We reviewed the tape and I was convinced it was a feral mutant. For the briefest of seconds, it looked like his eyes glowed. You sent us in as animal rights activists so we could investigate the latest site, and see what we could find."
"As we were leaving the compound, a man struck up a conversation with us. He said his name was Grady Colt, a cryptozoologist, whatever that is. He said he wanted to get a look at the creature that was causing the deaths before one of the hunters shot it. He was friendly enough, but something about him just didn't feel right. We separated at the trailhead. I was glad to leave him behind."
"After that, it is all fuzzy. I see these images, but none of them make no sense." She looked at him expectantly.
He took her hand into his. "It was a New Mutant. A feral. Jesse and Emma started researching the police reports on the previous attacks, and found one of the files had been deleted from the outside. The file referred to a survivor. At time we didn't know of any survivors. Jesse tracked him to VA hospital in Chelton, where he was being 'treated'. It turns out that Genomex 'sold several ferals' to a secret offshoot of NASA for a study named PROJECT 318. It seems they were trying to enhance his feral DNA." He pauses a moment to swallow the bile that was rising up in his throat. It sickened him to think someone who calls themselves a 'doctor and scientist' had perverted his work this way. He couldn't look her in the eyes any more.
He stared at the far wall as he continued. "These 'researchers' were attempting to use genetic modification to stimulate certain segments of his feral DNA to become more dominant. Their theory was these changes to the host's DNA would make it easier for him to adapt, or at the very least, withstand any type of alien environment. The 'perfect' astronaut. But, in reality what happened was so much more. The modifications created some kind of virus. The virus was much worse than they could have ever imagined. Once introduced, the virus drastically mutated itself, and began to attack the nerve pathways to the cerebrum. This new virus strain was very contagious," he paused, and took a deep breath before continuing, "but only contagious to ferals."
Suddenly, everything fell into place, and the images now made sense. It all came rushing back in an overwhelming wave. In anguish, she whispered one word, "Mich-ael."
He had watched the myriad of emotions that spread across her face. It broke his heart. If only he could protect her from this. He reached out to comfort her, but she waved away the comfort he offered.
Her bottom lip began to tremble. Brokenly, she said, "I… killed… Michael." A racking sob exploded from deep within her soul; tears poured down her cheeks streaming unchecked onto her chest. She wrapped her arms around herself, and began to rock back and forth. "I murdered him, Adam!"
Her cries broke his heart. He sat down as easily as possible on the edge of the bed. Adam reached for Shalimar, and gathered her tenderly into his arms. He was not going to take 'no' for an answer. At first, she stiffened within his grasp, and even tried to pull away. The movement increased her pain and it forced her to stop struggling. "You did not kill Michael!" he growled.
She shook her head, "Yes, Adam, I did… I remembered it all… He didn't know what he was asking me to do… I murdered him."
Resolutely, he said, "Listen to me." He paused and waited for her to look at him. When she didn't, he used enough pressure on her chin to force her to look at him. He repeated, "You did not kill Michael. You saved my life, and helped to ease Michael's pain. He could tell he was losing the last dregs of his humanity, and he didn't want to become the wild, uncontrollable beast the virus was forcing him to become. He asked you to shoot him, because he knew you have always understood the war that goes on between the feral instincts and human instincts."
Her feelings were in such turmoil as she relived the last things she remembered from that day. Her senses were overwhelmed of images of Michael's grasp around Adam's throat. She knew Michael was going to kill Adam. Rage filled her like no other time in her life. Someone was hurting the love of her life; no one got away with that. She heard a distant voice beg Michael not to do it, she now realized it was her that was begging him to stop. She knew she couldn't let him kill Adam. She didn't even remember picking up the gun. Michael turned back to Adam, and she sensed he was going to hit him with a final blow. She fired.
She looked at Adam intently. She saw no recrimination only caring and concern for her. "You saved my life… again."
She buried her face into his shoulder, and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. His arms gently encompassed her to form a safe haven. He had always been there for her; supported her when she was weak.
As he whispered words of comfort, he stroked her back with one hand, and smoothed her tousled golden hair with the other. The sobs were consuming her, and shattering his heart. He knew he had to reach her somehow; make her realize she had not murdered anyone. Only then, would grief, and mourning begin it healing touches to her shattered soul. The other-his profession of love- would have to wait until later. Quietly, he said, "Shal, you have to listen to me. If you are guilty of murder then I must be, too."
His words did reach her muffled mind. She prevented his death. He was not the one who pulled the trigger. She did. He's lying. He was the victim. Michael was the victim of her rage.
He continued to try to reach her, "…Emma and Jesse found another infected feral at the Veteran's Administration Hospital in Chelton- a Nathaniel Block. He was a friend of Michael's. Nate had been out looking for Michael, and found him. The only reason he survived the attack was because he was a feral. In the fight, Michael unintentionally passed the virus to Nate. Project 318 superiors sent men to retrieve him from the local hospital before he began to change. By the time Emma and Jesse rescued him from the VA Hospital, and brought him back to Sanctuary, the virus had progressed to its final stages, and there was nothing I could do. Nothing. Even with painkillers and Emma's mental touch, he went screaming mad before he died." He sighed, "I couldn't save him." His voice was filled with regret.
"Michael knew the virus had ravaged his body beyond repair. He was seeking peace and he gave you absolution when he asked to be shot. He knew exactly what he was asking you to do." He noticed she sobbing was now hiccups and snuffling. She moved away from him. She needed to be able to think clearly and she couldn't do it in his arms. "Michael and Nathaniel will not be forgotten as long as you live your life free from guilt. The best way to honor their lives is to live your life to its fullest." Fresh tears slid down her cheeks, but he could see indecision in her eyes.
She tried to mull over what Adam has said. She replayed the events in her mind. She did realize all that she was remembering was tinted from the ravaging feral emotions she had been feeling at the time, and culminated with the fear of losing Adam. They had been in situations before that his life had been threatened, but this was the first time she really thought he was going to die.
"I was in such a rage from the feral changes and emotions that were going on inside of me." She whispered so softly that he had to strain to hear her. "It's hard to understand it all at this point, but the one image that keeps playing in my mind is my pulling of the trigger and Michael collapsing."
"Shalimar, I was there and so was the rest of the team. In the end, you did the most merciful thing that could be done for him. The only thing…" When she looked at him questioningly, "If you don't believe me, ask the others, they will tell you the same thing."
"Adam, I don't know what to think?" she voiced her doubts out loud.
"Then trust me," he simply stated.
She shook her head as fresh tears flowed. She was so confused.
He opened his arms and waited. He so wanted to comfort her and remove the self-doubt he saw.
"I felt so sorry for him. I found his den. The only human possession he had was a picture of his family," her voice broke. "He had a family who loved him. You could see it in their faces. They will never be able to see them again."
"If they knew all of the facts, they would thank you for ending his suffering," Adam said.
"At least, he had a family that loved him," she said.
"And you have a family that loves you, too," he said, "… if you will let them."
Finally, she let him comfort her. She slid into his embrace, and held onto him tightly as she began to feel grief for the senseless of the loss. 'Maybe, Adam is right. I just don't know,' she thought bleakly. "I'm too tired to fight about this anymore, Adam. Maybe your right."
Her head tucked neatly under his chin. This felt just so right. He had no idea how long they stayed this way. Her breathing were slow, and rhythmic. He wondered if she was asleep, but when he looked down, he could see that her eyes were open. He shifted positions so he was leaning against the bed and she was leaning on him. Neither spoke. They didn't want to break the peace.
So what do you think???? All critiques are taken!!!!!