Written for a challenge. Charles/Trapper.
"Closure"
Dear John,
I was most suprised to hear you had been here; in hell. Otherwise know as M*A*S*H 4077.
I was not most suprised to hear you had left without any kind of goodbye. Bad habit you have there, isn't?
It's been a while since I last heard of you. I think it was highschool. Yes, must've been highschool. As after highschool I went to Harvard and you, well, didn't. I actually never heard of again untill a few days ago.
I missed you. I missed you terribly.
That summer, after we had graduated, I went round to your house quite a few times but your mother always told me you were out. I wrote you an unbelieveable amount of times. You must have had them and read at least some of them. But I didn't get one reply. Not one phonecall or message. Nothing.
Didn't it mean anything to you? Everything we had? Did I really mean so little to you that you could just forget me? That hurt, John.
You must be wondering how I got your address and why the hell I'm writing you after all these years.
The answer to the first question is simple, Hawkeye Pierce.
Ofcource you know he's here. Yes, he's still here. I'm not your replacement, in any kind of way, in case you wondering. Your replacement is your replacement in every kind of way, in case you were wondering.
Pierce hasn't told me in so many words but I can guess what you two had in college and here. I haven't told him what we had in highschool but I'm more than sure he's worked it out.
So Hawkeye gave your address. He said, if I wrote you, to say "hi". Well, there, I've said it. "Hi".
The answer to my own second question? I don't know. I don't know why I'd want to write you. Why I'd want to put myself through this misery again. Closure, maybe? I doubt I'll even get that.
I wonder if you'll even read this? You'll probably throw it out, scared your wife will find it and start asking questions.
Yes, Pierce told me you were married. Also told me you have two daughters. I'm sure you love them both. I'm sure you're very happy being married even if it is a cover up for who you really are.
Does she know? Your wife? Does she have any idea what you and I did in highschool? What we had? Or what you and Hawkeye had? And God knows how many others you've had on the side. Or is it your wife that's on the side?
Do you realise how many people you've hurt by doing what you've done, what you're probably doing right now?
As I've already said, I'm not your replacement. I can only go by what others have said to tell you how Hawkeye was when you first left. Devastated is an understatement. He still hasn't managed to get over you. I think I'm starting to but I have had some more time.
I wrote in the beginning of this lettre that I wasn't suprised to hear you had left the one you supposedly loved without so much as a quick note. Well, suprise me again, write. Write to both of us.
No matter what, I hope you are happy with the way you're living your life. I hope your children grow up to be happy and successful. I hope your wife is oblivious of what is going on right in front of her and I hope she too is happy.
I'd like to be able to hate you but I can't. I have tried and tried again.
Loving someone with all your heart isn't the easiest thing to do. I suppose it's the same with hating.
So, on that note, I bid you farewell.
Love, Charles.
"Closure"
Dear John,
I was most suprised to hear you had been here; in hell. Otherwise know as M*A*S*H 4077.
I was not most suprised to hear you had left without any kind of goodbye. Bad habit you have there, isn't?
It's been a while since I last heard of you. I think it was highschool. Yes, must've been highschool. As after highschool I went to Harvard and you, well, didn't. I actually never heard of again untill a few days ago.
I missed you. I missed you terribly.
That summer, after we had graduated, I went round to your house quite a few times but your mother always told me you were out. I wrote you an unbelieveable amount of times. You must have had them and read at least some of them. But I didn't get one reply. Not one phonecall or message. Nothing.
Didn't it mean anything to you? Everything we had? Did I really mean so little to you that you could just forget me? That hurt, John.
You must be wondering how I got your address and why the hell I'm writing you after all these years.
The answer to the first question is simple, Hawkeye Pierce.
Ofcource you know he's here. Yes, he's still here. I'm not your replacement, in any kind of way, in case you wondering. Your replacement is your replacement in every kind of way, in case you were wondering.
Pierce hasn't told me in so many words but I can guess what you two had in college and here. I haven't told him what we had in highschool but I'm more than sure he's worked it out.
So Hawkeye gave your address. He said, if I wrote you, to say "hi". Well, there, I've said it. "Hi".
The answer to my own second question? I don't know. I don't know why I'd want to write you. Why I'd want to put myself through this misery again. Closure, maybe? I doubt I'll even get that.
I wonder if you'll even read this? You'll probably throw it out, scared your wife will find it and start asking questions.
Yes, Pierce told me you were married. Also told me you have two daughters. I'm sure you love them both. I'm sure you're very happy being married even if it is a cover up for who you really are.
Does she know? Your wife? Does she have any idea what you and I did in highschool? What we had? Or what you and Hawkeye had? And God knows how many others you've had on the side. Or is it your wife that's on the side?
Do you realise how many people you've hurt by doing what you've done, what you're probably doing right now?
As I've already said, I'm not your replacement. I can only go by what others have said to tell you how Hawkeye was when you first left. Devastated is an understatement. He still hasn't managed to get over you. I think I'm starting to but I have had some more time.
I wrote in the beginning of this lettre that I wasn't suprised to hear you had left the one you supposedly loved without so much as a quick note. Well, suprise me again, write. Write to both of us.
No matter what, I hope you are happy with the way you're living your life. I hope your children grow up to be happy and successful. I hope your wife is oblivious of what is going on right in front of her and I hope she too is happy.
I'd like to be able to hate you but I can't. I have tried and tried again.
Loving someone with all your heart isn't the easiest thing to do. I suppose it's the same with hating.
So, on that note, I bid you farewell.
Love, Charles.