Chapter 15.
Come 'ere baby
You know you drive me up the wall
The way you make good for all the nasty tricks you pull
Seems like we're makin' up more than we're makin' love
And it always seems you've got something on your mind
Other than me
Girl, you gotta change your crazy ways, you hear me
Say you're leavin' on the seven thirty train
And that you're heading out to Hollywood
Girl, you've been givin' me that line so many times
It kinda gets that feelin' bad looks good
That kinda lovin' turns a man to a slave
That kinda lovin' sends a man right to his grave
I go crazy, crazy, baby, I go crazy
You turn it on - then you're gone
Yeah you drive me crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby
What can I do, honey
I feel like the color blue
You're packin' up your stuff
And and talkin' like it's tough
And tryin' to tell me
That it's time to go
But I know you ain't wearin' nothin' underneath that
Overcoat and that it's all a show
That kinda lovin' makes me wanna pull down the shade,
That kinda lovin' yeah, now I'm never gonna be the same
I'm losing my mind
Girl, 'cause I'm goin' crazy
I need your love, honey, yeah
I need your love
"Hey, Gumbo, can I talk to ya?"
Remy's eyes grew wide. "Non! You just stay 'way from me, Creed."
"I don't wanna fight, Remy, okay? I need to ask you something."
Remy sighed, but made sure he was as far from Sabretooth as possible. "Make it quick."
"What does Logan think of me?"
Remy looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "She t'inks de same t'ing about you dat de rest of de world does, homme. She hates your guts."
"You know why?"
"Gee, let me t'ink. You make de femme's life hell from de day she met you, Victor. And you kill dat boy of hers."
"She still mad about that?"
"Non. Dat's one of dose t'ings you get over. And I heard you had some brains in dat big blond head of yours."
Victor glared. "Thanks, Cajun."
"Yeah, whatever."
"So, are you holding up okay with Creed being here, Logan?" Logan didn't look at Scott.
"I guess."
"I haven't heard you having any homicidal rage sessions in the Danger Room lately, so you must be okay." Scott saw Logan's cheeks go bright pink. "Logan?"
"What?!" Scott raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing. How's the ordnance inventory coming?" Logan let out a breath when Scott dropped the subject.
"Fine. How's your end?"
Scott looked at his clipboard. "Boring. Jean is obsessive-compulsive about keeping Cerebro's archives in order."
"Isn't that Kitty's job?"
"Logan, it's Kitty."
"Good point. Guess that's what happens when you're the Fearless Leader, huh Cyke?" She put the last of the weapons the X-Men had confiscated from various foes over the years back into their lockers. "Done."
"Wish I was," Scott sighed. Logan sat in a chair next to him.
"I'll keep you company."
"You don't have to," Scott said. "I'm sure you have something you'd rather be doing than hanging out with a dork like me."
"Aw, is our self-esteem a little low today, Scooter?" Scott glared at her.
"I am not Scooter." Logan didn't make a retort as he had expected. She had been quiet the entire time they had been together. Almost reserved. For Logan, that was kind of creepy. "Logan, are you okay?" Her shoulders hunched a little.
"Yeah, fine."
"I don't believe you," said Scott simply.
"Maybe…maybe I did something I shouldn't have," she said after a long pause. Scott put his clipboard down and took her shoulders gently.
"What is it? You can tell me."
"Trust me, Scott, you don't wanna hear this." He nodded.
"Yes, I do. I'm your teammate Logan, and your friend. Nothing you did can change that."
"I already had this conversation with Remy, okay Scott?" He looked down and dropped his hands.
"Yeah, sorry. I guess I'm not as easy to talk to as he is." Logan half-smiled.
"You're a good guy, Scott."
"Sometimes I think I'm too good." Logan stood.
"Well, there's always room for improvement."
"Not when you're married to Jean Grey," Scott muttered. Logan left, deciding she'd pretend she hadn't heard that.
In her room, she sank onto her bed, curling on her side. She reached for Victor's sweatshirt almost automatically, even though his scent was almost gone. What she had done was eating her up inside—she'd betrayed the X-Men on the most basic level. She knew she couldn't deal with it anymore, that she had to get away and clear her head.
Logan stood and pulled her duffle bag out of her closet, tossing clothes in at random. She had done something unforgivable, but time alone would put enough mental distance between her and Creed that she'd be able to carry on as an X-Woman. It was impossible to live under the same roof with him. He was so close, such a large presence all the time.
She wanted him so much. Logan threw the bag full of clothes across the room. She didn't care, at the core, about what she'd done. Victor filled a basic need within her, something she'd been looking for since she'd woken up in the Hudson's cabin all that time ago. He was right.
They were the same.
The knock on her door was unmistakable. No one else would knock so heavy, so sure. She stared at the door, her eyes wide like a deer.
"I know yer in there, runt."
Logan took a deep breath. She could handle Creed. She could get him out of her way so she could go somewhere else. Somewhere where she could forget the one thing she didn't really want to.
"Open the damn door or I'll bust it open!"
Logan flung the door open, glaring at Victor. "What the fuck do you want, Creed?"
Victor smirked. "You, darlin'."
"You are such a fucking bastard."
"Damn skippy."
Logan just looked at him, suddenly at a loss for words. "Go away."
"No. I have something I have to say."
"Then say it," Logan said, crossing her arms in front of her. Victor was silent. "Well?"
"Oh, sorry. When you do that it pushes up your boobs."
Logan started to slam the door, but Victor stepped in, holding it open. "Wait! Just hear me out, okay? Yer so damn touchy."
Logan continued to glare. "Spit it out, Creed."
"I'm sorry."
Logan blinked. "For what?"
"The…the thing with Silver Fox."
Logan stumbled back. "I…" Her voice got almost silent. "Why'd you do it, Victor?"
"Because…because I loved you."
Logan pushed the initial shock away, replacing it with anger. "Oh yeah, 'cause nothing says I love you like hacking up the competition."
Victor reached out a hand. "I didn't mean it, Logan. I didn't want to hurt you—I never have wanted to hurt you. I don't know, it's just…" He growled, swiping at the wall. "Dammit, woman, what is it you do to me!"
"Victor…"
He looked at her, his eyes wild like a frightened animal. "What can I do, Logan? What can I do about this? I need you. I never need anything, but I need you."
Logan felt herself being ripped in two. Part of her said it was wrong to betray the X-Men, while the other half said it was wrong to betray Victor. Even with everything dark in their past, he had been the one constant, the one thing she could never forget. "I need you, too."
Victor came into the room, shutting the door behind him. He walked slowly to her, touching her tentatively at first, barely running his fingers through her hair. Logan smiled shyly at him, suddenly feeling as if she were a novice at this.
Maybe she was. With Victor, it was something different…
He kissed her, but it wasn't like what he'd shown her in the Danger Room. It was gentle, as if he were tasting her. He cupped the back of her head, kissing her slowly and thoroughly. Logan felt her knees buckle.
"Havin' trouble standin', darlin'?"
Logan blushed. "Uh…yeah…"
Victor smiled, picking her up and holding her against his chest. Logan buried her head against him, taking in his scent.
Victor set her so softly on the bed, as if she was something delicate, not a woman with a healing factor and adamantium bones. He sat beside her, looking down at her. "Damn, yer hot."
Logan laughed. "You're pretty hot yourself, you know."
He winked at her. "Damn skippy."
"I can't believe you just said that two times in a ten minute time span."
Victor smirked. "I'm full of surprises, darlin'."
Logan gave him a look that made Victor's blood rush. "Care to show me some of those surprises, tiger?"
"Oh yeah."
Victor descended on her, kissing down her neck. Logan clutched his hair. "And on a bed and everything this time."
"Don't get used to it, frail."
She laughed, feeling suddenly free. Nothing mattered, not the X-Men, not her shrouded past—just Victor, and what he made her feel.
Victor lay naked in Logan's bed, grinning up at her ceiling. "Wow, yer amazing," he said in a sleepy drawl. "That thing you did with yer tongue…"
Logan giggled, running her toes up his leg. "You're not too bad yourself there."
Victor looked at her with hooded eyes. "I'm the best, babe."
"Well you're certainly the best I've ever had."
"That cinches it then, since I have quite a few to compete with."
Logan punched his arm hard. "Asshole."
Victor pouted. "What, you don't like me anymore?"
She rolled her eyes. "You're horrible."
"Wanna punish me?" He wagged his eyebrows up and down.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Logan and Victor both jumped off the bed, their eyes wide. "The closet," Logan mouthed.
Victor nodded, running to hide. Logan started to go to the door, but then realized she was still naked. She looked behind her and saw Victor's hand extend from the closet, her kimono draped over a claw.
She took it and kissed his hand. She wrapped the kimono around her, kicked Victor's clothes under the bed, and flung open the door. "What?"
"Geez, growly much, Logan?"
Logan gave Bobby a dirty look. "Whaddaya want, ice boy?"
"Uh, nobody can find Creed."
"Shit," Logan thought. "Does the professor think he's left the mansion?" she asked, smoothing her hair back in place.
"No. He can still sense his presence somewhere on the grounds, he just can't pin-point where. Victor's mind is hard for him to center on, or something like that."
"Well he probably just went for a walk. Go away."
Bobby frowned. "Did I interrupt something?"
"I was meditating, now get out!" She slammed the door.
Bobby thought she seemed a little tense for meditation, but he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away.
Creed walked out of the closet, looking down at his toes. "I guess I should make an appearance before someone smarter than Drake comes lookin' fer me."
"Yeah."
He walked to her, cupping her cheek in his hand. "So where does this leave us, Logan?"
"Let's take it slow, all right?"
"Yeah."
"See ya around, Vic."
Victor got his clothes from under her bed and started dressing. He kissed her one more time, softly on the lips. "Don't stay mad at me, okay?"
"I'll do my best."
He opened the door and looked down the hall, making sure the coast was clear before sneaking away.
Victor lay awake in his bed, finding it impossible to sleep. He hated his stupid curfew. Xavier didn't even leave him with a television. Cruel and unusual punishment.
The door opened, and Victor sat up. Who the hell was bothering him at this hour? He sniffed and smiled. "Hey, darlin'."
Logan went silently to his bed and crawled in beside him.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked, laying down and pulling her up against his bare chest.
"No," she said softly.
Victor kissed the top of her head. "Me either."
"Victor, what is this?" she asked.
"I don't know." He paused. "I like it though. And not just because of the sex."
"Me, too. That scares me a little."
"It scares me, too, Logan."
Logan looked up at him. "I didn't think you got scared, Victor. I thought you were something beyond fear."
"I'm just a man, Logan."
Logan bristled in his arm for a moment, and then relaxed, melting into his warm embrace. "I just want to sleep, Victor."
He kissed her. "Good night."
"Good night."
It had been an odd night for Kitty and Bobby. They, along with Logan and Creed, were the only ones in the mansion, and to Kitty's amazement everyone was sitting in the rec room watching television with nary a word. She looked at Bobby. He looked back and raised his eyebrows.
"Is this weirding you out, Kitty?" he whispered. Kitty nodded.
"Majorly," she whispered back.
Logan heard Kitty and Bobby gossiping and looked over at Victor. He was sprawled in the recliner with a beer, looking as content as a six-foot-six assassin could look.
"Creed," she snarled. "Get your feet off the table." He looked over at her with an almost amused expression.
"What are you, my mommy?" Logan was silent for a moment.
"I'll make you want your mommy if you don't get your feet off!" she blurted. He smiled slowly, revealing his teeth.
"Ooo, ya gonna spank me, runt?" Kitty and Bobby were watching them like a tennis match. Logan stood.
"I don't have to put up with this—I'm going to my room!" she huffed.
"Don't let the door hit yer cute ass!" Creed called after her.
"You make such a cute couple," said Kitty sarcastically. Creed grinned at her.
"Yeah, I know. I'm too cute fer words." Kitty rolled her eyes and looked back at the TV.
Creed got up and followed Logan to her room.
"Look. Chuck, no disrespect to yer beautiful home an' all, but I've had about my fill of this place."
Xavier scrutinized Victor. "Well, you have been cured of your blood lust."
"Yep. No more of that blood lust crap. I'm a better man."
"Still, I worry that if I release you back into the world, you may kill again."
Victor shifted uncomfortably. "I don't want to kill anymore, Professor. I look back on that part of my life, and I feel so dark and guilty. I want to make a better life for myself."
Xavier frowned, not sure if he could take Victor's words as the truth. Still, he had shown significant improvement since he'd recovered from Logan's home lobotomy. Xavier had always believed that everyone deserved a second chance—even killers like Victor Creed. He folded his hands in his lap.
"I will allow you to return to wherever it is you call home, but I will be keeping an eye on you. Should you continue to show a propensity towards violence, I will send my people after you."
Victor forced himself not to laugh at that threat. "You won't have to do that, professor. I'll be a model citizen—you'll see."
Xavier frowned. "We'll see, Creed."
"You're just letting him go!"
"I'm sorry, Scott, but there's nothing I can really do. Sabretooth is cured; there's no reason that he shouldn't be released back into society."
"What, other than the fact that he's a sociopathic killer?"
"Cyclops, it's not your place to question my decision like this."
Scott stood up straight. "Yes, professor."
Xavier wheeled from the room.
"Uh, babe, can I talk to ya for a moment?"
"Watchin' hockey, Victor."
"I know how much you like ta watch grown men beat up on each other with sticks, but this is important."
Logan put the television on mute and looked up at Creed. "What is it?"
"Xavier said I can go. I booked a flight back to Seattle for tomorrow morning."
Logan felt suddenly winded. "Just like that?"
"That's where I live, darlin'."
"Don't you darlin' me!" Logan yelled, jumping to her feet "You tricked me into thinking you cared, and now you're just running out on me! I thought you were different, Victor, but you're just like all the rest!"
Victor held out his hands in defense. "Whoa, whoa, I never said anything about leavin' you, frail. I just need to get back home. I have a life out there."
Logan looked sad. "I thought I was part of your life now, Victor?"
"Logan, you are. You always have been. But you didn't actually expect me to stay on the team, did ya?" Victor saw Logan's reaction, and realized she did. "Logan, the X-Men aren't the beat all and end all."
"They're my life."
"Then I guess we're in two different places now."
Logan forced herself not to cry. She wouldn't. Not over him. "Fine, just go. See if I care."
Victor sighed. "I don't want this to be it for us, Logan. I do like you, and I like being with you. I just can't be here, and you apparently can't always be there. But you leave the team enough. Come up and visit me sometimes."
"I want more than that, Victor."
"Logan, sweetheart, I am not X-Men material. I can't join this little geek-squad and fight by yer side, okay? This ain't Team X. Just tell me this ain't it, okay?"
"If you leave, Victor Creed, it is. You walk out that door, and I never want to see you again."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I have to go. I'll go crazy here."
"You already are crazy, you messed up fuck."
Victor sighed. "There ya go again, striking out at me when you don't want to admit yer hurtin'. You've been doin' it fer thirty fuckin' years, Logan. It's gettin' a little old."
"Get out, Victor," Logan growled. "If you're gonna leave me, just go ahead and do it."
"If that's the way you feel…"
"It is."
"Yeah. See ya around, runt."