Disclaimer: JACK SPARROW IS MINE!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!! *Six police cars marked "Disney" pull in front of my house, sirens blaring. D.S.N.Y. people wearing Mickey Mouse ears exit the cars* Alright, FINE, spoil my fun!
A/N: Do you like it so far? Oui? non? If you don't then just stop reading NOW and save us all a lot of trouble. Thank you!
Okay, mes amis, I know you've got a dozen questions! Will Anne and Jack make it out of New Providence? Where is Anne, anyway? And is Jack ever going to stop being such a pimp? (I confess, I made that one up) Keep reading to find out, 'cus I'M NOT TELLING! Expect some minor, okay, major, kicking of a *certain* captain's arse. ;)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Five: Jack's Lesson
Jack walked nervously through the streets, looking around for any kind of movement. He hadn't really expected Anne to wander off like that. At most, he had thought that maybe she would have shown up after a few minutes, having cooled her temper. But no, she hadn't, and here he was, looking for here, when there were a lot of better things he could be doing. Lass probably got herself killed, or...
"AAAIIIIEEEE!!" Suddenly something collided into Jack and sent him face-first into the dirty street. He felt the sharp blade of a sword against the back of his neck and Anne's laughter.
"Did I scare you, Mr. Sparrow?" she said. Jack struggled but she had him pinned down.
"If you could get off me, Ms. Bonny, I'd be much obliged. My nose is being squashed," he muttered. The weight lifted from his back and he got to his feet. He looked to where his hat had fallen off and landed on the street. The spot was empty and hat-free. But it had been there only a second ago! Where-? He turned back to Anne. His hat, HIS HAT, was cocked jauntily on her head, and she grinned at him widely.
"Hand over the hat and nobody gets hurt," he said warningly. She snorted and pulled it down over her eyes, like he wore it, and mimicked his pose. "I'm not jesting, love... Give it to me right now." He reached out a hand for it.
"What hat? This hat?" Anne said stupidly, mimicking his voice now too. Jack didn't find it funny.
"I'm not playing any games here, missy. You hand it over or I won't be so nice anymore."
She snorted and walked toward him, moving her hands and swaggering like him.
"You were never nice, Mr. Sparrow," she said pointedly. No, I'm not, and I'd love to show you just by how much, he thought angrily.
"Let's pretend for a moment I'm you, and you're a poor, wretched creature who has nothing at all, and must resort to the most unsavory of things to obtain a few pence. Can you imagine how those girls must feel, Jack, when you go around doing things like THIS?" she jerked his collar forward and pressed his lips to hers. What the hell is she doing? he thought, and then suddenly "actually, she could compete with that French lass" drifted into his mind. She broke away roughly and left him staggering backwards.
"Did you like that? I don't think those tavern maids do, when you go around doing whatever you want with them!" she said.
"What makes you worry about what I do with whores, love?" he asked. She glared at him, a steaming fire in her eyes that made them glow with anger.
"Because I know how they feel."
"You were a WENCH?!" Jack spat out. Anne slapped him, which knocked him off his feet, it was so hard.
"NO, I was not! When I was fourteen years old some rogueish cheat tried to... to assault me, alright? And you know what I did to him?" She was really in a rage now.
"What, pray tell?"
"I thrashed him to nearly an inch of his life and left him helpless in bed for three weeks! The lad still has somewhat of a limp," she replied, and grinned at the thought of the lasting effect. Jack felt sweat forming on his forehead. This was definately not a girl to cross. He stood up and looked sideways at her. His hat had fallen off her head and he snatched it up.
"Come on now, Mr. Sparrow, and I hope you've learned something."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: I'm sorry for it being so short, but I had to put that in! For all the respectable (and not so respectable but still human beings) women out there who have been hurt, this is for you! *big bear hugs!* And for all the crude men/players/pimps out there, this is for YOU! *rude single-fingered gesture* AHEM!
Well, glad we've gotten that cleared up!
Jack: ....
Me: Didja like that chapter, Jack?
Jack: ....
Me: Excuse me?
Jack: ....
Me: What was that? I can't hear you!
Jack: ...I think I'll have some more rum...
A/N: Do you like it so far? Oui? non? If you don't then just stop reading NOW and save us all a lot of trouble. Thank you!
Okay, mes amis, I know you've got a dozen questions! Will Anne and Jack make it out of New Providence? Where is Anne, anyway? And is Jack ever going to stop being such a pimp? (I confess, I made that one up) Keep reading to find out, 'cus I'M NOT TELLING! Expect some minor, okay, major, kicking of a *certain* captain's arse. ;)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Five: Jack's Lesson
Jack walked nervously through the streets, looking around for any kind of movement. He hadn't really expected Anne to wander off like that. At most, he had thought that maybe she would have shown up after a few minutes, having cooled her temper. But no, she hadn't, and here he was, looking for here, when there were a lot of better things he could be doing. Lass probably got herself killed, or...
"AAAIIIIEEEE!!" Suddenly something collided into Jack and sent him face-first into the dirty street. He felt the sharp blade of a sword against the back of his neck and Anne's laughter.
"Did I scare you, Mr. Sparrow?" she said. Jack struggled but she had him pinned down.
"If you could get off me, Ms. Bonny, I'd be much obliged. My nose is being squashed," he muttered. The weight lifted from his back and he got to his feet. He looked to where his hat had fallen off and landed on the street. The spot was empty and hat-free. But it had been there only a second ago! Where-? He turned back to Anne. His hat, HIS HAT, was cocked jauntily on her head, and she grinned at him widely.
"Hand over the hat and nobody gets hurt," he said warningly. She snorted and pulled it down over her eyes, like he wore it, and mimicked his pose. "I'm not jesting, love... Give it to me right now." He reached out a hand for it.
"What hat? This hat?" Anne said stupidly, mimicking his voice now too. Jack didn't find it funny.
"I'm not playing any games here, missy. You hand it over or I won't be so nice anymore."
She snorted and walked toward him, moving her hands and swaggering like him.
"You were never nice, Mr. Sparrow," she said pointedly. No, I'm not, and I'd love to show you just by how much, he thought angrily.
"Let's pretend for a moment I'm you, and you're a poor, wretched creature who has nothing at all, and must resort to the most unsavory of things to obtain a few pence. Can you imagine how those girls must feel, Jack, when you go around doing things like THIS?" she jerked his collar forward and pressed his lips to hers. What the hell is she doing? he thought, and then suddenly "actually, she could compete with that French lass" drifted into his mind. She broke away roughly and left him staggering backwards.
"Did you like that? I don't think those tavern maids do, when you go around doing whatever you want with them!" she said.
"What makes you worry about what I do with whores, love?" he asked. She glared at him, a steaming fire in her eyes that made them glow with anger.
"Because I know how they feel."
"You were a WENCH?!" Jack spat out. Anne slapped him, which knocked him off his feet, it was so hard.
"NO, I was not! When I was fourteen years old some rogueish cheat tried to... to assault me, alright? And you know what I did to him?" She was really in a rage now.
"What, pray tell?"
"I thrashed him to nearly an inch of his life and left him helpless in bed for three weeks! The lad still has somewhat of a limp," she replied, and grinned at the thought of the lasting effect. Jack felt sweat forming on his forehead. This was definately not a girl to cross. He stood up and looked sideways at her. His hat had fallen off her head and he snatched it up.
"Come on now, Mr. Sparrow, and I hope you've learned something."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: I'm sorry for it being so short, but I had to put that in! For all the respectable (and not so respectable but still human beings) women out there who have been hurt, this is for you! *big bear hugs!* And for all the crude men/players/pimps out there, this is for YOU! *rude single-fingered gesture* AHEM!
Well, glad we've gotten that cleared up!
Jack: ....
Me: Didja like that chapter, Jack?
Jack: ....
Me: Excuse me?
Jack: ....
Me: What was that? I can't hear you!
Jack: ...I think I'll have some more rum...