Time after Time
By: ComplexSimplicitY
A/N: First of all: SORRY! I know, it's been like a whole month, I am SOOO SORRY! I feel so guilty…but I do have a life outside of fanfiction, and my days and weekends have been filled with writing college essays ::shudder::. Yes, it's my senior year in high school (FINALLY!) and I'm just filled to the top with stress from that, and from being away from fanfiction for so long-anyways, I'll shut up now and continue-here it is, Chapter 3 ^_^ ~THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS everyone!!!! I'm so glad you all like it ^_^ Thank you muchly!!!
* Dedicated to Pamela/Lonnie ^_^ *
Chapter 3: Career Advice
"'Potter, that concludes our career consultation.' Harry swung his bag over his shoulder and hurried out of the room, not daring to look at Umbridge. He could hear her and Professor McGonagall continuing to shout at each other all the way back along the corridor." (Career Advice, p. 666)
Wincing slightly at Umbridge's echoing high-pitched screams, Harry quickened his pace down the staircase and into the Entrance Hall. Instead of turning left to the Divination classroom though, Harry took a right, and made his way through the gigantic castle doors and onto the Hogwarts' Grounds. Heading towards the lake, his mind filled with anxiety, he settled himself down against the trunk of a tree close to the water's edge, and closed his eyes. Five N.E.W.T.S. and an average of "Exceeds Expectations". No one new in 3 years, extremely selective. Harry didn't just 'maybe' want to be an Auror like he told McGonagall, he wanted it more than anything else in the world. Letting out a deep breath, Harry removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. What if he didn't make into the Auror Academy? What would become of him then? He couldn't picture himself doing anything else, nothing, especially not a desk job at the Ministry. Sighing and running a hand through his hair, Harry agonized more over his 'destiny'. What was that all about anyway? People say that everyone has a destiny, we're all meant to be something in this world and no matter what we do, we can't change that. Fate will always play out in the end, and what's meant to be will be. At this point, Harry didn't see in the slightest how Auror training could possibly be within his future. The expectations, the prerequisites. He was only average, and they only took the best. If it wasn't in his destiny, then why did he want it so badly that it hurt on the inside and made him feel like he just wanted to scream? If it wasn't meant to be, then why did 'fate' have to torture him like it did, filling his mind with doubts and that cold nervous sensation that was so penetrating he tried rubbing at his head just to be rid of it? Dropping his head into his hands, Harry started furiously rubbing at his scalp, frustrated, and determined to fight the numbing sensation that was spreading throughout his body and positively eating away at his mind.
"Don't worry."
Immediately, Harry froze, and his head snapped up to face the person that had spoken.
"Excuse me?"
"I said don't worry." Luna replied. From her position at the lake's edge in front of the sun, Harry could vaguely make her figure out, but was semi-blinded by her necklace of metal Butterbeer caps.
"Er…sorry?" Harry asked, a bit bewildered. Realizing how stupid he must have looked, Harry cleared his throat and removed his hands from his hair, flattening it nervously as he did so.
Luna's light laughter drifted over to him, and some of the numbness seemed to ebb away. Moving closer towards him, with her rolling book bag behind her, Luna plopped down to the ground on Harry's right.
"There's nothing in your hair you know. You don't have to worry, if there was, I would have spotted it, and besides most netterbees and karsnackles don't like movement so they bugger off the first time you run your hand through your hair." Luna replied vaguely, looking off behind Harry in the direction of the castle.
"Er…uh…that's not what I was…never mind." Harry sputtered. Unconsciously, he ran a hand through his hair, then froze midway when he remembered a certain someone else who had done the same thing under the exact same tree so many years before. Harry quickly removed his hand, and chose instead to start pulling up blades of grass to keep his hands busy.
"Well, how've you been Luna?" Harry mumbled to the ground, still feverishly yanking away at the poor helpless blades of grass. 'If Filch saw me, I'd be worse than dead…' Harry thought to himself.
"Spiffy, thanks. I'm usually quite chipper this time of year, even though exams are coming up. Nothing to worry about anyway." Luna answered dreamily, her held tilted up to the sky. Harry looked at her in awe.
"Nothing to worry about? Exams determine your life Luna. If you do badly here, you're doomed because everything you do affects what you'll end up doing. Do badly on the exams, and you can just about kiss your future good bye." Harry spat out angrily, the chilling sensation returning.
"You think so? Harry, tests don't determine your life. You determine your life." Luna answered pointedly, looking at him now.
"But they do. Don't you see? If you wanted to go into a prestigious career, but you did horribly at Hogwarts, it would never happen. It's not fair. Just because you misbehave as a child, just because of mistakes you've made in your past, your whole destiny is blown to smithereens. Everything you ever wanted to be or thought you would be is unattainable, and you end up working at some crappy job that you hate for the rest of your life. It's just not fair." Harry sighed exasperatedly.
"Life isn't fair Harry. Life just is." Luna replied lightly, her eyes drifting off to the clouds once more.
"Like those clouds up there. See them? At first glance, they all seem hazy, indefinite, like random blobs of cotton fluff floating up in the sky. Then you look closer at them and you start seeing things. You start seeing what you want to see, what you want them to be. But a few minutes later, and the shape has totally changed-and you just have to guess again at what it is. You can't predict what shapes they're going to form, or if they're even going to resemble anything at all until they shift once more and for those few precious minutes, you think you know everything about those clouds-but you don't. Life is just like that Harry. You can't plan it, you can't predict it, you can't even begin to fathom the possibilities it may hold. When you look at it on the surface, everything's mixed up, nothing seems to make sense. Then you sit yourself down, and you sift through the unnecessary. All of a sudden, your life seems to make sense, everything is in order and it's just like how you thought it would be-until it changes again. Even though it isn't clear right now Harry, it doesn't matter-because it doesn't need to be. Just because you can't see it now doesn't mean that it's impossible Harry."
As Luna resumed her cloud watching, twirling a strand of her long blonde hair with her wand, Harry simply stared at her, mouth slightly open. For some reason, he was feeling oddly at ease, and the numbing tremors had stopped wracking his brain. It wasn't until Luna's gaze dreamily drifted from skyward back down towards reality, and their eyes locked for a split second that Harry looked away and resumed his previous deforestation of the Hogwarts' lawn, extremely tense because he knew that Luna was still watching him with her crystal blue eyes.
"You know, it's a good thing your parents didn't name you Harold." Luna remarked, gazing inquisitively at Harry.
"Why not?" Harry asked, a bit appalled, and a bit curious as well. As Luna's gaze remained on his face, Harry fought the urge to run his hand through his hair, and increased the rate at which he was pulling up grass.
"You don't look like a Harold. You look more like a Bartholomew." Luna stated lightly.
"Bartholomew?" Harry asked, a look of terror on his face.
"No, no you're right. Not a Bartholomew. Maybe a Sebastian." Luna commented, her eyes twinkling with silent laughter.
"Sebastian? Great, I'll just have everyone call me Sebbie while I'm at it…" Harry replied sarcastically. At this, Luna exploded with laughter, doubling over, and clutching at her sides. Smiling a little to himself, Harry, feeling a bit uncomfortable now that Luna had been laughing for over a minute straight now, shifted his gaze down to the grass again, and resumed his earlier task of grass pulling.
"SEBBIE!!" Luna shrieked, then doubled over with laughter again. Harry couldn't help it any longer, and his smile broke into a grin, and his quiet chuckles were just barely heard over Luna's roaring laughs. As she wiped tears of mirth from her eyes, Luna focused her gaze once more on Harry, and this time, Harry looked back at her.
"I've got it. Harry. You look like a Harry." Luna finished with a tone of finality in her voice.
"My name is Harry Luna." Harry replied, his green eyes vibrant with befuddlement and laughter.
"I know that. Your name fits you perfectly. Wish mine fit me. I've always thought of myself as a Celestina," Luna replied distantly as her gaze drifted over to the pristine surface of the lake.
"No." Harry replied immediately. "Luna is perfect. You're perfect."
Extremely embarrassed that he had actually sad that out loud, Harry's face blushed a red that rivaled the shade of Ron's hair. As he prepared to explain himself and endure the consequences, Luna looked in his direction once more, seemingly unfazed.
"No, I don't think so. No one's perfect, Harry." With that, Luna picked herself off the ground, and reached for her rolling book bag. Dragging it absentmindedly behind her, she made her way back towards the castle. Harry, hand in midair, ready to rumple his hair yet again, froze. Wanting more than ever now to talk to Sirius about what he had seen in Snape's Pensieve, Harry hurriedly grabbed his book bag, and made his way back towards the castle.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Finite! ^_^ Another chapter written in the wee hours of the morning-it's 3 a.m. right now, LoL!! Well, to be exact, it's 2:58 a.m. ^_^_^ Anywho, enough about my nocturnal complex-hope you liked it!! Leave me a review alright? Thank you thank you!! ^_^_^_^
.:*Priscilla*:.