Dear Isobel, a lord of the rings fanfic

Dear Isobel

By StarWolf

08/04/2003

Disclaimer: Don't own it -- 'tis all the Almighty Tolkien's. The song lyrics are from "Isobel" by Dido, which I also do not own.

Contact/Feedback: Please do if you feel so inclined. elendraug@yahoo.com

Archive: Please don't, unless you ask me very nicely and get my permission.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Deathfic-ish, angstyness

Character(s): Boromir

Summary: Boromir hurts.

Authoress' Note: I feel so bad for him. And this song is making me extremely depressed, so out spews another angsty short story. Still haven't finished reading the books, by the way, so give me a little leeway.

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I thought it was funny when you missed the train
When I rang you at home they said you left yesterday
I thought it was strange when your car was found
By the tree in Ennis where we used to hang around

Boromir has been dead for months. He has all but faded from the memories of the remaining Fellowship members, and no one truly misses him. He wanders the forests, hills, mountains, plains, and as far across Middle Earth as he wishes to go. Boromir watched as his own body floated down the Aduin, and saw his little brother crying. He wishes to cry, but cannot bring himself to find the tears.

Dear Isobel, I hope you're well and what you've done is right
Oh, it's been such hell, I wish you well and hope you're safe tonight
It's been a long day coming and long will it last
When it's last day leaving, and I'm helping it pass
By loving you more

Boromir hurts. With every footfall he mourns his miserable existence. He wishes he could've seen the beautiful White City -- his home -- again before he died. But he was not allowed...Fate turned her back on him in those last moments.

Boromir misses his little brother, and his father, and his city. His home. He wanted to rest beneath the trees of his homeland again, ride horses through Ithilien with his old friends, as well as his new ones. It will never happen, now.

And who he would become, all the things he'd have done
Would he have loved you, and not let you down?
And would he be stronger than his father
Don't punish yourself, leave it well alone

Aragorn had told him that he would accompany Boromir to Gondor. He'd assured Boromir that they'd stop in Osgilliath. He'd made a promise, and then he'd broken it. Boromir hadn't intended to join the Fellowship -- he just wanted to go home.

He never got the chance.

Now he wanders. He saw the celebrations that he could not partake in, he saw the wedding of Aragorn and Arwen, and he even walked the long road back to Hobbiton just to watch his former companions as they travelled to their own families, friends, warm, safe houses. More partying and rejoicing, and all the food and drink he'll never again be able to enjoy. It's too late now.

All he can do is torment himself, and regret.

Boromir is tired. He is a weary, lost soul, who wishes for nothing more than to rejoin someone -- anyone -- who cares about him. Even if just for five minutes, Boromir would give his life.

But his life is no longer his to give. It has been taken away from him, just like everything else he held dear.

It's been a long day coming along when at last

It's last day leaving I'm helping it pass by loving, loving you

Boromir wants to stumble and fall, to hurt himself on the wet rocks in the riverbed that he should've slipped on. He wants to drown, but he cannot feel the water beneath his feet. He longs to feel again, but he will never again know what his dreams could've been like. What they would've been. They should've been recognized.

But no one trusted the son of the Steward of Gondor. They thought that he was up to something.

All he wanted was someone who really, truly cared about him. This was not to happen, either.

Boromir died.

Boromir still hurts.