The Arrangement
By Rhea Jediknight
Disclaimer: I'm not making any money from this work. Thanks go to George Lucas and Timothy Zahn for creating such wonderful characters.
This story is dedicated to Ash Darklighter for her friendship and infinite patience and to Veronica for her unflagging encouragement. Thank you!
A special thank you to Angela (SD) for doing a final beta on this for me! I really appreciate it.
Thanks go to Luke Skywalker, Falcon-Rider, MarajadeJediMaster, Angel Tsuiraku, aniamifan1988, and Lacy1 for your feedback!
*********
Part Ten
Mara reinforced her own barriers reflexively. She watched as Callista smiled shyly at the Jedi. Mara's heart refused to beat, her lungs no longer capable of drawing breath. No. It couldn't be. It was impossible. But the evidence refused to disappear, despite her frantic desire for this not to be true. Callista still sat there, a knowing smile forming a slight crescent of her lips.
Mara could not sense her, a small Force void hovering in the spot where the woman sat. It suited her, she though maliciously, the coldness, the emptiness. Sith, how she hated that woman. When she'd first met Callista, she hadn't felt anything for her but a small amount of pity. She'd lost her Force ability but she had defied death. Cray had not. Mara remembered that after the Emperor's death her own sense in the Force had begun to atrophy but she'd made a life for herself and had gone on. Mara hadn't sat around bemoaning her fate.
Luke quickly composed himself and continued the ceremony. His hands shook, and Mara could hear that his voice had lost much of its power. Most of the audience returned their attention to the ceremony, but Mara continued to look at Callista. The woman was dressed in an attractive silver dress, flowing down to her ankles. Her malt colored hair was swept up on the top of her head. Her face was scrubbed clean of all cosmetics and her gray eyes turned to regard her. The moment Callista saw Mara, her eyes grew wide and then narrowed. Mara scowled and then returned her attention to her husband at the front.
Luke had seemed to pull himself together and was actively ignoring the outside world as he continued the ceremony. The distance dividing Mara and Luke seemed to stretch. It was as if a great yawning chasm cracked the ground between them growing wider and wider. Mara could not hear a word that the wedding couple exchanged. She continued to watch sightlessly while her mind was in the past. It kept focusing on one moment in time, the memory of Luke rushing to catch Callista into his arms, exclaiming "Yes!"
Rather than being diminished by the passage of time, the pain was even stronger now. She hadn't understood her distress when Luke had reunited with his love after the destruction of the Eye of Palapatine. She had dismissed the pain, refusing to delve into the reason behind her immediate dislike of the woman who had claimed Luke's heart. Mara knew that she should have been pleased that Luke had found happiness.
Later, Mara had reasoned that her reaction must have been the result of the subconscious knowledge that Callista would only bring Luke pain. This might have been a factor, but Mara was aware unequivocally that she now knew the true reason. She was very much in love with Luke Skywalker. Her feelings had deepened over the years, her need for him becoming crucial to her continued existence.
Although Luke was never comfortable standing in front of a crowd of onlookers, this was one of the duties of a Jedi Master that he enjoyed. It pleased him to be instrumental in binding two young lovers to a lifetime of shared devotion. He glanced at Mara, marveling at her beauty once again. It wasn't just her physical attractiveness that drew him, although she did look wonderful. There was just something about her that seemed purer, brighter then anyone else. He smiled, knowing that Mara would scoff at this description of her. He could always identify her Force presence. She shone brightly among all the other lives gathered. The general aura of the assembly filled him with a sense of contentment, until he felt a strange emptiness. His first thought was that something was pushing away the Force. An adept Force user?
Luke glanced up, scanning the crowd for the hole in the fabric of living energy. A woman sat directly in the center of the void and it took barely a moment for the Jedi to recognize her identity. Callista! He felt all the blood drain from his face, and his heart fluttered nervously. A rapid montage of images bombarded him: their shared dreams aboard the Eye of Palpatine, her miraculous survival, their joyous reunion, her insistence that everything must be proper despite the ambiguous nature of her survival, and the slowly building sense that something was not right between them.
He had wanted so much to set things straight for them, but Callista had left him. She had been unable to banish her anger, blaming Luke for the loss of her connection to the Force. Luke had never wanted to tell her that she shouldn't have done the thing that she had the day that she took Cray's place within her body. He had felt too relieved to have her with him, too selfish to care that her act might not have been of the light. Luke was just so grateful that he would have a chance to love the woman who had been a Jedi.
Luke had refused to acknowledge these thoughts until a good year after Callista had left. He had wondered if the reason that she could only touch the dark side was that she had irrevocably betrayed the light. She had gone against the balance of the living Force, reversing death thirty years after the event. He had thought that their love justified her act, that the brilliance of their union would bring light to the dark act. But Callista had never been the one for him, he knew that now. Luke had cared for her and wanted so desperately to know the kind of love Han and Leia shared, but he had not truly loved Callista.
He glanced at Mara and was thankful that she didn't seem to be aware of Callista's presence. Mara gazed at the bride and groom, a distracted expression on her face. Somehow, he managed to finish the ceremony and the happy couple kissed. As they departed down the center aisle, Luke slipped to Mara's side.
"Are you alright?" he asked her, for the first time noticing her emotional distance from him. She had never lowered her shields, but he had been feeling that they were growing closer with the passage of each day. Luke figured it was only a matter of a week or two before Mara relaxed, fully trusting him. And there was something else that was different about her . . . something he couldn't quite identify.
Mara's gaze flew to Luke's blue eyes. Her gaze traveled from his sculpted cheeks to his full lips and down to the cleft in his chin. She gave him an unsteady smile and said, "I think I should be asking that of you."
Her words made him realize that Mara was aware of what had happened to him during the ceremony, knew that Callista was there. He should have guessed. Mara was the one person, even more than his sister who knew him - truly knew him. He glanced up and saw that most of the audience had left the area, making their way to the tables on the far side of the Atrium. Droids had begun to set platters of food on the tables, and the guests were taking seats wherever they could find an opening. He could no longer see Callista, but if he stretched out with the Force, he identified the blank spot among the seated diners.
"I didn't expect to ever see her again," he tried to explain his shock to her.
Mara fought to keep her emotions under control, the battle more difficult under her current condition. She wondered if the other part of that statement remained unsaid, 'and I wouldn't have married you if I had known that she would return.'
Mara said, "I know. Perhaps I should go?"
Luke's eyes widened, "No, of course not. Let's both go home."
Home. That word had such a comforting sound. "No Luke, you can't abandon Kriliana and Greere like that. It would hurt them too much. Let's go find seats before all our choices are taken from us."
Luke paused, debating their options, but knew that they really had no other alternative. He gave a quick nod, and took her elbow escorting her toward the diners.
A curtain of flame surrounded the scattered tables giving additional light to the eating area, warming the cool air to a more comfortable temperature, and providing a sense that they were now in a large dining chamber. There were two empty seats at the main table and the newlywed couple waved them over when they caught sight of the two Jedi. Luke and Mara moved to sit at the great round table. Luke could see no way to avoid this, and reluctantly accepted the offer. He could sense Callista at the table and made an effort to avoid her gaze.
Greere was so happy that the Jedi Master himself had agreed to perform the ceremony, that he had tried to think of a way to thank him for the honor. It was almost impossible for Greere to imagine what it must have been like to be the last remaining Jedi in the galaxy. He knew how much it meant to Master Skywalker to rebuild the order, and to recover the lost knowledge of the Jedi.
He had done some research into his Jedi heritage and had been surprised to learn that a relative, a distant cousin really, had once been a Jedi. It had taken him some time, but he had finally managed to discover that she was still alive and he contacted her to invite her to the wedding. Wouldn't Master Skywalker be thrilled to meet a Jedi of the old Republic? She was miraculously still alive through the use of Force powers that were currently beyond his understanding, had somehow escaped the purge probably due to the fact that she had since lost all connection to the Force. But her knowledge should still prove valuable, and he fully expected Luke Skywalker to be eager to know his cousin. He could hardly wait to see the Jedi Master's face when he introduced him to Callista Ming.
Mara glanced up, immediately locking eyes with Luke's old lover. She allowed Luke to pull the chair out for her, making it obvious that she had come with the Jedi. Callista sat across from them silently watching them as the introductions were made.
When Greere introduced Luke and Mara as Master Jedi Luke Skywalker and his wife the Jedi Mara Jade Skywalker, Callista's eyes grew wide. How the woman could have remained ignorant of their marriage mystified Mara, but she reveled in this knowledge for a moment. She was Luke's wife and going to be the mother of his child. Callista had thrown away her chance at happiness with Skywalker.
But the way that Luke kept glancing at the woman, and the knowledge that he had never stopped loving Callista brought Mara quickly back to reality. What were the chances that in all the galaxy, they would see that woman again? Was this the Force at work? Were Luke and Callista meant to be reunited? For the first time in her pregnancy Mara felt nauseous. She didn't feel sick enough that she feared to embarrass herself, but when a server droid placed a plate of fine cut crillen fish in front of her, she could not even pretend to eat.
Luke shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Greere was flustered, expecting the Jedi Master to show more interest in his cousin. Callista's reaction to Luke Skywalker puzzled him as well. He had the impression that she had followed the Jedi's exploits and would have been eager to ask him about the new Jedi order. She certainly had changed her attitude to his invitation to attend when he had mentioned the presence of the Master.
Greere hadn't been acquainted with his cousin for very long. The way Callista's eyes never seemed to stray far from Master Skywalker combined with the sense of unease he felt when he saw the way Callista glanced at the Master's wife, made him question if he was only seeing the surface of the ocean and not its great depths. His Force senses tingled uncomfortably, and he wondered if he had made a great error in contacting his cousin. Callista's dislike for the red haired beauty was palpable.
Luke ate the meal set in front of him, hardly aware that he had done so until he noticed that his plate was empty. Somehow, he managed to converse with those seated next to him, so that the only ones aware of the tension at the table were the three of them. Mara remained quiet.
Luke saw that Mara had not touched her plate, but continued to sip from a glass of water instead. He felt bad about her loss of appetite, attributing it to the stress of Callista's proximity. Luke was aware that Callista was a sore spot in their relationship, and he wanted to reassure her that she, Mara was the most important thing in his galaxy. They were not free to discuss it openly, however, and he was afraid that in his present state he might say the wrong thing and only worsen matters. He wasn't a natural diplomat.
Callista had come alone. Luke searched his feelings for the gray eyed woman and felt only a sense of nostalgia and a somber sadness. There was some guilt mingled in there as well because he had married Mara, not that he regretted it in the least. The guilt stemmed from the possibility that Callista might not have chosen to live in Cray's body if it hadn't been for him. Seeing her alone made him feel as if he failed in some way. She left you, he reminded himself effectively dampening his sorrow, but he couldn't help but feel pity for Callista.
He realized that he had been gazing at Callista the whole while these thoughts had been going through him. Callista was smiling at him, her expression inviting and more than a little smug. Luke flushed, hoping he hadn't given Callista the wrong impression. He glanced at his wife. Mara stood up, clutching her stomach and hurried away.
Luke felt a wave of nausea wash over him and he knew that it had originated from Mara. The Jedi rose to his feet, intending to chase after her.
He got as far as the partition through the flames before Callista stopped him. "Luke." She called out.
Luke turned to face her.
********
Mara fully intended to leave the wedding celebration far behind. She had seen the way Callista's eyes had devoured Luke, and she recognized the emotion that shimmered in the woman's gray eyes. Desire. Mara had felt the burning in her veins often enough to detect it in another with ease.
She could have dealt with Callista's emotions, but when Mara had seen the unmistakable look of longing cross Luke's features, it had become too much. The panic that had started as a dull ache had imploded within her and she couldn't stand to stay and witness any more. To know that her husband loved another had been difficult, to see it with her own eyes had been intolerable. Mara had to leave or she would do something than she was liable to regret. But once she had gained some distance, her head began to cool. Perhaps she was over reacting. She resolved to go back and face Luke.
Mara retraced her steps taking the turbolift back up to the Atrium. When she stepped out into the garden, she spied a couple standing under the flower arch at the ceremony site. When she neared, she identified the two as Callista and Luke. Shielding herself through the Force, she slowly approached. She heard snatches of conversation. Callista exulted that they were reunited and then she saw the kiss. It wasn't a kiss of farewell. It was the kiss of a new beginning.
Mara was going to be sick. She whirled on her heel and just made it to a small public refresher station before the contents of her stomach were emptied in a painfully violent spasm. She was glad that she hadn't been able to eat. When she managed to reclaim control over her body, Mara moved painfully to the wash stand. She cleaned her face and washed her shaking hands.
It was time to retake control of her life. She would not live forever in the shadow of that damned body snatcher, and the only way to do that would be to keep the knowledge of the baby from Skywalker. If he wanted to go back to Callista she would let him. He need never learn about his son. Mara couldn't go back to Skywalker's apartment. It wasn't home anymore, and it would be the first place that he would look for her, if he ever pulled himself from his lover's embrace.
Her eyes caught sight of the pendant hanging from her neck and she made a decision.
Luke searched for his wife, but could see no sign of her. She had gone. Luke realized that he needed to talk with Callista if he ever wanted to move on with his life. They needed to put what they had shared to rest. He ushered Callista away from the diners and they ended up at the clearing where the wedding had taken place.
Callista's absence to the Force was unnerving. Luke had forgotten how it had felt like a discord note in the harmony that flowed around and through him. Mara's Force signature was like a tantalizing aroma or a seductive song. His expression softened as he thought of Mara. Her presence simultaneously soothed and excited him and he was profoundly affected in every aspect of his being by her.
He would have felt the same even if she wasn't a Jedi? But he knew his answer. Mara's refusal to lower her barriers had confirmed that fact. They had not experienced the complete joining of two Force equals. Luke knew that this kind of joining was possible, and he couldn't deny that he desired that level of fulfillment of total completion. But if he never had that so be it. They had forged a bond more powerful and heartfelt than the one he had tried to make with Callista.
Callista saw the look of wistful longing on Luke's face and she smiled slowly. "Luke. It's been a long time."
Luke's eyes became blue ice chips, hard and cold. "Too long."
Callista didn't recognize the hardening of his eyes. "Aren't you glad to see me?" Callista asked.
Luke considered this and decided that he was, but not for the reason that she thought. He could finally close the wound she had opened all those years ago and dispense with the lingering guilt that had weighed him down for years.
"I'm glad to see that you are well."
"I've done all right." Callista said with false modesty, "I've given up on reclaiming my Force powers. I realize now that I have to move on with my life."
Luke nodded encouragingly.
"With you." She continued, watching for his reaction. Her gray eyes searched his face and she flushed when she saw the narrowing of Luke's blue eyes.
"Callista, I'm married now." Luke said gently and shook his head.
"To Mara Jade." She snored in disgust, "I should have known that she would eventually end up in your bed."
The scorn in her voice made Luke feel all sympathy evaporate. He was filled with a desire to break away and leave this bitter woman far behind.
Luke ground out, "You're my past. She's my future. I have no wish to discuss this any further with you."
Callista's demeanor went through a complete transformation into a loving, sexual woman. "You can't deny that things were good between us." She threw her arms around his neck and Luke tried to pull away without hurting her.
"Not good enough for you to stay. " Luke said somewhat bitterly.
"I've hurt you. I'm sorry, but we can put all of that behind us now that we're together again."
She pressed her lips against his and Luke was so shocked at her bold move, so out of character for the Callista he used to know, that he didn't react immediately. It was only a moment before he pushed Callista from him and said "Goodbye Callista. We're over, and I'd prefer if we didn't see each other again."
Callista stared after him in stunned dismay. Luke turned abruptly on his heel, and began his search for Mara.
***********
When Mara reached the front door of the Solo residence, she turned away to leave. Why had she come here? Mara had grown soft but she couldn't seem to find it within her to return to her ship. If she got into the Jade's Fire, she would be compelled to depart Corsucant. If she left the planet, she would be forever closing the door on her marriage to Skywalker. For the sake of their son, she needed to think before she made such a final decision.
Surely they could make some sort of . . . arrangement. Mara mentally choked on that word.
Leia stopped outside. She had sensed something wrong a moment before, but it was gone now. Mara was standing with her head turned aside. Her face was pale and she seemed strangely small looking in her black shimmering evening dress.
"Mara? What's wrong?"
Mara turned to face Leia There was a bleak expression on Mara's face and her green eyes were bright with moisture. She opened her mouth to speak and found she couldn't She shook her head instead.
"Mom?" Jaina's voice called from the doorway.
Leia took Mara's arm and showed her inside; she promptly waved Jaina away. The young woman took in Mara's expression and grabbed Jacen, preventing him from entering the room. Mara sank on to the couch. Once Leia was certain they were alone, Leia sat down beside her.
"Do you want anything?"
Mara wanted to say 'just your brother's love' but shook her head.
As thoughts of Callista and Luke together filled her mind, Mara felt her stomach flip sickingly. It took almost all of her control but she managed to quell the rising queasiness. The effort cost her, however.
Leia watched as Mara struggled with herself and then she finally asked the beautiful red head, "Where's Luke?"
"With Callista," and with that name her final bit of strength crumpled and the tears fell free of her eyes. Leia gaped at Mara in stunned amazement. Luke had gone back to Callista? He had betrayed the wife that he loved to return to the woman that had walked out on him years ago? Leia pulled Mara unresistingly into a hug, absently smoothing her hair back as if she were one of her children. Mara's sobs racked her body, but she issued not a sound.
"I don't believe it." Leia finally whispered.
"I saw them together." Mara asserted. She pulled away to ineffectively dry her eyes with the back of her sleeve. The sobs had subsisted, but the tears continued to leak from the corners of Mara's eyes.
"Callista came back?"
"She was at the wedding, a cousin to the groom."
"I doubt it was a coincidence that they asked Luke to perform the ceremony." Leia said wryly.
Leia saw Han Solo walked into the room over Mara's shoulder. Leia shook her head at him and Han saw Mara's disheveled appearance and tear streaked profile and exited quietly.
"Luke never stopped loving her." Mara continued, unaware this exchange.
"Not the way he loves you." Leia protested.
"No, he loves her more. I left when I saw them kissing." Mara gulped for air and then sprang to her feet.
She ran to the fresher. Leia followed her hesitantly. She saw Mara through the open door leaning over the sink. Her face was a shade of gray, her hair clinging damply around the edges of her face.
Mara pushed herself upright and smoothed her dress with shaking hands. "Sorry. I thought I was going to be sick"
"When's the last time that you ate?"
Mara shrugged. "This morning. I couldn't eat dinner at the reception."
Leia continued to examine Mara closely, and then her eyes widened just a bit. "Does he know?" she had spent enough time with Han to learn how to lead someone into revealing their Sabacc hand.
"I can't tell him, not now." Mara replied and then she regarded the warm brown eyes and asked, "How did you know?"
"I've had three children myself. I'm quite familiar with the signs. You can't keep something like this from him."
"I know. I just want him to make a decision about Callista first. I don't want to become just another of his obligations."
Leia nodded in understanding. They both knew that the moment Luke knew about the baby he would feel that he had no other choice but to stay with Mara.
"I can't stay here. I'm not even sure why I even came." Mara said.
"Because we're friends. I'm glad you came." Leia insisted. Then she made a decision. "I'll tell you what. Stay the night and I promise you that I won't let Luke see you until the morning. Deal?"
Mara though about it. That should allow her enough time to compose her emotions and strengthen her shields so that Luke wouldn't sense the baby, not yet. "Okay."
"Now let's see about getting you something to eat."
Mara grabbed Leia's arm and said, "Promise me that you won't tell your brother about the baby."
Leia nodded. "Of course, as long as you tell him after your conversation about .. . .Callista."
Mara nodded slowly .
"He loves you Mara. Give him a chance." Leia said soothingly.
"You don't know everything, Leia. Things are .. . .complicated between us."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't say anything else. If you want to know more, you're going to have to get Skywalker to tell you."
*********
By Rhea Jediknight
Disclaimer: I'm not making any money from this work. Thanks go to George Lucas and Timothy Zahn for creating such wonderful characters.
This story is dedicated to Ash Darklighter for her friendship and infinite patience and to Veronica for her unflagging encouragement. Thank you!
A special thank you to Angela (SD) for doing a final beta on this for me! I really appreciate it.
Thanks go to Luke Skywalker, Falcon-Rider, MarajadeJediMaster, Angel Tsuiraku, aniamifan1988, and Lacy1 for your feedback!
*********
Part Ten
Mara reinforced her own barriers reflexively. She watched as Callista smiled shyly at the Jedi. Mara's heart refused to beat, her lungs no longer capable of drawing breath. No. It couldn't be. It was impossible. But the evidence refused to disappear, despite her frantic desire for this not to be true. Callista still sat there, a knowing smile forming a slight crescent of her lips.
Mara could not sense her, a small Force void hovering in the spot where the woman sat. It suited her, she though maliciously, the coldness, the emptiness. Sith, how she hated that woman. When she'd first met Callista, she hadn't felt anything for her but a small amount of pity. She'd lost her Force ability but she had defied death. Cray had not. Mara remembered that after the Emperor's death her own sense in the Force had begun to atrophy but she'd made a life for herself and had gone on. Mara hadn't sat around bemoaning her fate.
Luke quickly composed himself and continued the ceremony. His hands shook, and Mara could hear that his voice had lost much of its power. Most of the audience returned their attention to the ceremony, but Mara continued to look at Callista. The woman was dressed in an attractive silver dress, flowing down to her ankles. Her malt colored hair was swept up on the top of her head. Her face was scrubbed clean of all cosmetics and her gray eyes turned to regard her. The moment Callista saw Mara, her eyes grew wide and then narrowed. Mara scowled and then returned her attention to her husband at the front.
Luke had seemed to pull himself together and was actively ignoring the outside world as he continued the ceremony. The distance dividing Mara and Luke seemed to stretch. It was as if a great yawning chasm cracked the ground between them growing wider and wider. Mara could not hear a word that the wedding couple exchanged. She continued to watch sightlessly while her mind was in the past. It kept focusing on one moment in time, the memory of Luke rushing to catch Callista into his arms, exclaiming "Yes!"
Rather than being diminished by the passage of time, the pain was even stronger now. She hadn't understood her distress when Luke had reunited with his love after the destruction of the Eye of Palapatine. She had dismissed the pain, refusing to delve into the reason behind her immediate dislike of the woman who had claimed Luke's heart. Mara knew that she should have been pleased that Luke had found happiness.
Later, Mara had reasoned that her reaction must have been the result of the subconscious knowledge that Callista would only bring Luke pain. This might have been a factor, but Mara was aware unequivocally that she now knew the true reason. She was very much in love with Luke Skywalker. Her feelings had deepened over the years, her need for him becoming crucial to her continued existence.
Although Luke was never comfortable standing in front of a crowd of onlookers, this was one of the duties of a Jedi Master that he enjoyed. It pleased him to be instrumental in binding two young lovers to a lifetime of shared devotion. He glanced at Mara, marveling at her beauty once again. It wasn't just her physical attractiveness that drew him, although she did look wonderful. There was just something about her that seemed purer, brighter then anyone else. He smiled, knowing that Mara would scoff at this description of her. He could always identify her Force presence. She shone brightly among all the other lives gathered. The general aura of the assembly filled him with a sense of contentment, until he felt a strange emptiness. His first thought was that something was pushing away the Force. An adept Force user?
Luke glanced up, scanning the crowd for the hole in the fabric of living energy. A woman sat directly in the center of the void and it took barely a moment for the Jedi to recognize her identity. Callista! He felt all the blood drain from his face, and his heart fluttered nervously. A rapid montage of images bombarded him: their shared dreams aboard the Eye of Palpatine, her miraculous survival, their joyous reunion, her insistence that everything must be proper despite the ambiguous nature of her survival, and the slowly building sense that something was not right between them.
He had wanted so much to set things straight for them, but Callista had left him. She had been unable to banish her anger, blaming Luke for the loss of her connection to the Force. Luke had never wanted to tell her that she shouldn't have done the thing that she had the day that she took Cray's place within her body. He had felt too relieved to have her with him, too selfish to care that her act might not have been of the light. Luke was just so grateful that he would have a chance to love the woman who had been a Jedi.
Luke had refused to acknowledge these thoughts until a good year after Callista had left. He had wondered if the reason that she could only touch the dark side was that she had irrevocably betrayed the light. She had gone against the balance of the living Force, reversing death thirty years after the event. He had thought that their love justified her act, that the brilliance of their union would bring light to the dark act. But Callista had never been the one for him, he knew that now. Luke had cared for her and wanted so desperately to know the kind of love Han and Leia shared, but he had not truly loved Callista.
He glanced at Mara and was thankful that she didn't seem to be aware of Callista's presence. Mara gazed at the bride and groom, a distracted expression on her face. Somehow, he managed to finish the ceremony and the happy couple kissed. As they departed down the center aisle, Luke slipped to Mara's side.
"Are you alright?" he asked her, for the first time noticing her emotional distance from him. She had never lowered her shields, but he had been feeling that they were growing closer with the passage of each day. Luke figured it was only a matter of a week or two before Mara relaxed, fully trusting him. And there was something else that was different about her . . . something he couldn't quite identify.
Mara's gaze flew to Luke's blue eyes. Her gaze traveled from his sculpted cheeks to his full lips and down to the cleft in his chin. She gave him an unsteady smile and said, "I think I should be asking that of you."
Her words made him realize that Mara was aware of what had happened to him during the ceremony, knew that Callista was there. He should have guessed. Mara was the one person, even more than his sister who knew him - truly knew him. He glanced up and saw that most of the audience had left the area, making their way to the tables on the far side of the Atrium. Droids had begun to set platters of food on the tables, and the guests were taking seats wherever they could find an opening. He could no longer see Callista, but if he stretched out with the Force, he identified the blank spot among the seated diners.
"I didn't expect to ever see her again," he tried to explain his shock to her.
Mara fought to keep her emotions under control, the battle more difficult under her current condition. She wondered if the other part of that statement remained unsaid, 'and I wouldn't have married you if I had known that she would return.'
Mara said, "I know. Perhaps I should go?"
Luke's eyes widened, "No, of course not. Let's both go home."
Home. That word had such a comforting sound. "No Luke, you can't abandon Kriliana and Greere like that. It would hurt them too much. Let's go find seats before all our choices are taken from us."
Luke paused, debating their options, but knew that they really had no other alternative. He gave a quick nod, and took her elbow escorting her toward the diners.
A curtain of flame surrounded the scattered tables giving additional light to the eating area, warming the cool air to a more comfortable temperature, and providing a sense that they were now in a large dining chamber. There were two empty seats at the main table and the newlywed couple waved them over when they caught sight of the two Jedi. Luke and Mara moved to sit at the great round table. Luke could see no way to avoid this, and reluctantly accepted the offer. He could sense Callista at the table and made an effort to avoid her gaze.
Greere was so happy that the Jedi Master himself had agreed to perform the ceremony, that he had tried to think of a way to thank him for the honor. It was almost impossible for Greere to imagine what it must have been like to be the last remaining Jedi in the galaxy. He knew how much it meant to Master Skywalker to rebuild the order, and to recover the lost knowledge of the Jedi.
He had done some research into his Jedi heritage and had been surprised to learn that a relative, a distant cousin really, had once been a Jedi. It had taken him some time, but he had finally managed to discover that she was still alive and he contacted her to invite her to the wedding. Wouldn't Master Skywalker be thrilled to meet a Jedi of the old Republic? She was miraculously still alive through the use of Force powers that were currently beyond his understanding, had somehow escaped the purge probably due to the fact that she had since lost all connection to the Force. But her knowledge should still prove valuable, and he fully expected Luke Skywalker to be eager to know his cousin. He could hardly wait to see the Jedi Master's face when he introduced him to Callista Ming.
Mara glanced up, immediately locking eyes with Luke's old lover. She allowed Luke to pull the chair out for her, making it obvious that she had come with the Jedi. Callista sat across from them silently watching them as the introductions were made.
When Greere introduced Luke and Mara as Master Jedi Luke Skywalker and his wife the Jedi Mara Jade Skywalker, Callista's eyes grew wide. How the woman could have remained ignorant of their marriage mystified Mara, but she reveled in this knowledge for a moment. She was Luke's wife and going to be the mother of his child. Callista had thrown away her chance at happiness with Skywalker.
But the way that Luke kept glancing at the woman, and the knowledge that he had never stopped loving Callista brought Mara quickly back to reality. What were the chances that in all the galaxy, they would see that woman again? Was this the Force at work? Were Luke and Callista meant to be reunited? For the first time in her pregnancy Mara felt nauseous. She didn't feel sick enough that she feared to embarrass herself, but when a server droid placed a plate of fine cut crillen fish in front of her, she could not even pretend to eat.
Luke shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Greere was flustered, expecting the Jedi Master to show more interest in his cousin. Callista's reaction to Luke Skywalker puzzled him as well. He had the impression that she had followed the Jedi's exploits and would have been eager to ask him about the new Jedi order. She certainly had changed her attitude to his invitation to attend when he had mentioned the presence of the Master.
Greere hadn't been acquainted with his cousin for very long. The way Callista's eyes never seemed to stray far from Master Skywalker combined with the sense of unease he felt when he saw the way Callista glanced at the Master's wife, made him question if he was only seeing the surface of the ocean and not its great depths. His Force senses tingled uncomfortably, and he wondered if he had made a great error in contacting his cousin. Callista's dislike for the red haired beauty was palpable.
Luke ate the meal set in front of him, hardly aware that he had done so until he noticed that his plate was empty. Somehow, he managed to converse with those seated next to him, so that the only ones aware of the tension at the table were the three of them. Mara remained quiet.
Luke saw that Mara had not touched her plate, but continued to sip from a glass of water instead. He felt bad about her loss of appetite, attributing it to the stress of Callista's proximity. Luke was aware that Callista was a sore spot in their relationship, and he wanted to reassure her that she, Mara was the most important thing in his galaxy. They were not free to discuss it openly, however, and he was afraid that in his present state he might say the wrong thing and only worsen matters. He wasn't a natural diplomat.
Callista had come alone. Luke searched his feelings for the gray eyed woman and felt only a sense of nostalgia and a somber sadness. There was some guilt mingled in there as well because he had married Mara, not that he regretted it in the least. The guilt stemmed from the possibility that Callista might not have chosen to live in Cray's body if it hadn't been for him. Seeing her alone made him feel as if he failed in some way. She left you, he reminded himself effectively dampening his sorrow, but he couldn't help but feel pity for Callista.
He realized that he had been gazing at Callista the whole while these thoughts had been going through him. Callista was smiling at him, her expression inviting and more than a little smug. Luke flushed, hoping he hadn't given Callista the wrong impression. He glanced at his wife. Mara stood up, clutching her stomach and hurried away.
Luke felt a wave of nausea wash over him and he knew that it had originated from Mara. The Jedi rose to his feet, intending to chase after her.
He got as far as the partition through the flames before Callista stopped him. "Luke." She called out.
Luke turned to face her.
********
Mara fully intended to leave the wedding celebration far behind. She had seen the way Callista's eyes had devoured Luke, and she recognized the emotion that shimmered in the woman's gray eyes. Desire. Mara had felt the burning in her veins often enough to detect it in another with ease.
She could have dealt with Callista's emotions, but when Mara had seen the unmistakable look of longing cross Luke's features, it had become too much. The panic that had started as a dull ache had imploded within her and she couldn't stand to stay and witness any more. To know that her husband loved another had been difficult, to see it with her own eyes had been intolerable. Mara had to leave or she would do something than she was liable to regret. But once she had gained some distance, her head began to cool. Perhaps she was over reacting. She resolved to go back and face Luke.
Mara retraced her steps taking the turbolift back up to the Atrium. When she stepped out into the garden, she spied a couple standing under the flower arch at the ceremony site. When she neared, she identified the two as Callista and Luke. Shielding herself through the Force, she slowly approached. She heard snatches of conversation. Callista exulted that they were reunited and then she saw the kiss. It wasn't a kiss of farewell. It was the kiss of a new beginning.
Mara was going to be sick. She whirled on her heel and just made it to a small public refresher station before the contents of her stomach were emptied in a painfully violent spasm. She was glad that she hadn't been able to eat. When she managed to reclaim control over her body, Mara moved painfully to the wash stand. She cleaned her face and washed her shaking hands.
It was time to retake control of her life. She would not live forever in the shadow of that damned body snatcher, and the only way to do that would be to keep the knowledge of the baby from Skywalker. If he wanted to go back to Callista she would let him. He need never learn about his son. Mara couldn't go back to Skywalker's apartment. It wasn't home anymore, and it would be the first place that he would look for her, if he ever pulled himself from his lover's embrace.
Her eyes caught sight of the pendant hanging from her neck and she made a decision.
Luke searched for his wife, but could see no sign of her. She had gone. Luke realized that he needed to talk with Callista if he ever wanted to move on with his life. They needed to put what they had shared to rest. He ushered Callista away from the diners and they ended up at the clearing where the wedding had taken place.
Callista's absence to the Force was unnerving. Luke had forgotten how it had felt like a discord note in the harmony that flowed around and through him. Mara's Force signature was like a tantalizing aroma or a seductive song. His expression softened as he thought of Mara. Her presence simultaneously soothed and excited him and he was profoundly affected in every aspect of his being by her.
He would have felt the same even if she wasn't a Jedi? But he knew his answer. Mara's refusal to lower her barriers had confirmed that fact. They had not experienced the complete joining of two Force equals. Luke knew that this kind of joining was possible, and he couldn't deny that he desired that level of fulfillment of total completion. But if he never had that so be it. They had forged a bond more powerful and heartfelt than the one he had tried to make with Callista.
Callista saw the look of wistful longing on Luke's face and she smiled slowly. "Luke. It's been a long time."
Luke's eyes became blue ice chips, hard and cold. "Too long."
Callista didn't recognize the hardening of his eyes. "Aren't you glad to see me?" Callista asked.
Luke considered this and decided that he was, but not for the reason that she thought. He could finally close the wound she had opened all those years ago and dispense with the lingering guilt that had weighed him down for years.
"I'm glad to see that you are well."
"I've done all right." Callista said with false modesty, "I've given up on reclaiming my Force powers. I realize now that I have to move on with my life."
Luke nodded encouragingly.
"With you." She continued, watching for his reaction. Her gray eyes searched his face and she flushed when she saw the narrowing of Luke's blue eyes.
"Callista, I'm married now." Luke said gently and shook his head.
"To Mara Jade." She snored in disgust, "I should have known that she would eventually end up in your bed."
The scorn in her voice made Luke feel all sympathy evaporate. He was filled with a desire to break away and leave this bitter woman far behind.
Luke ground out, "You're my past. She's my future. I have no wish to discuss this any further with you."
Callista's demeanor went through a complete transformation into a loving, sexual woman. "You can't deny that things were good between us." She threw her arms around his neck and Luke tried to pull away without hurting her.
"Not good enough for you to stay. " Luke said somewhat bitterly.
"I've hurt you. I'm sorry, but we can put all of that behind us now that we're together again."
She pressed her lips against his and Luke was so shocked at her bold move, so out of character for the Callista he used to know, that he didn't react immediately. It was only a moment before he pushed Callista from him and said "Goodbye Callista. We're over, and I'd prefer if we didn't see each other again."
Callista stared after him in stunned dismay. Luke turned abruptly on his heel, and began his search for Mara.
***********
When Mara reached the front door of the Solo residence, she turned away to leave. Why had she come here? Mara had grown soft but she couldn't seem to find it within her to return to her ship. If she got into the Jade's Fire, she would be compelled to depart Corsucant. If she left the planet, she would be forever closing the door on her marriage to Skywalker. For the sake of their son, she needed to think before she made such a final decision.
Surely they could make some sort of . . . arrangement. Mara mentally choked on that word.
Leia stopped outside. She had sensed something wrong a moment before, but it was gone now. Mara was standing with her head turned aside. Her face was pale and she seemed strangely small looking in her black shimmering evening dress.
"Mara? What's wrong?"
Mara turned to face Leia There was a bleak expression on Mara's face and her green eyes were bright with moisture. She opened her mouth to speak and found she couldn't She shook her head instead.
"Mom?" Jaina's voice called from the doorway.
Leia took Mara's arm and showed her inside; she promptly waved Jaina away. The young woman took in Mara's expression and grabbed Jacen, preventing him from entering the room. Mara sank on to the couch. Once Leia was certain they were alone, Leia sat down beside her.
"Do you want anything?"
Mara wanted to say 'just your brother's love' but shook her head.
As thoughts of Callista and Luke together filled her mind, Mara felt her stomach flip sickingly. It took almost all of her control but she managed to quell the rising queasiness. The effort cost her, however.
Leia watched as Mara struggled with herself and then she finally asked the beautiful red head, "Where's Luke?"
"With Callista," and with that name her final bit of strength crumpled and the tears fell free of her eyes. Leia gaped at Mara in stunned amazement. Luke had gone back to Callista? He had betrayed the wife that he loved to return to the woman that had walked out on him years ago? Leia pulled Mara unresistingly into a hug, absently smoothing her hair back as if she were one of her children. Mara's sobs racked her body, but she issued not a sound.
"I don't believe it." Leia finally whispered.
"I saw them together." Mara asserted. She pulled away to ineffectively dry her eyes with the back of her sleeve. The sobs had subsisted, but the tears continued to leak from the corners of Mara's eyes.
"Callista came back?"
"She was at the wedding, a cousin to the groom."
"I doubt it was a coincidence that they asked Luke to perform the ceremony." Leia said wryly.
Leia saw Han Solo walked into the room over Mara's shoulder. Leia shook her head at him and Han saw Mara's disheveled appearance and tear streaked profile and exited quietly.
"Luke never stopped loving her." Mara continued, unaware this exchange.
"Not the way he loves you." Leia protested.
"No, he loves her more. I left when I saw them kissing." Mara gulped for air and then sprang to her feet.
She ran to the fresher. Leia followed her hesitantly. She saw Mara through the open door leaning over the sink. Her face was a shade of gray, her hair clinging damply around the edges of her face.
Mara pushed herself upright and smoothed her dress with shaking hands. "Sorry. I thought I was going to be sick"
"When's the last time that you ate?"
Mara shrugged. "This morning. I couldn't eat dinner at the reception."
Leia continued to examine Mara closely, and then her eyes widened just a bit. "Does he know?" she had spent enough time with Han to learn how to lead someone into revealing their Sabacc hand.
"I can't tell him, not now." Mara replied and then she regarded the warm brown eyes and asked, "How did you know?"
"I've had three children myself. I'm quite familiar with the signs. You can't keep something like this from him."
"I know. I just want him to make a decision about Callista first. I don't want to become just another of his obligations."
Leia nodded in understanding. They both knew that the moment Luke knew about the baby he would feel that he had no other choice but to stay with Mara.
"I can't stay here. I'm not even sure why I even came." Mara said.
"Because we're friends. I'm glad you came." Leia insisted. Then she made a decision. "I'll tell you what. Stay the night and I promise you that I won't let Luke see you until the morning. Deal?"
Mara though about it. That should allow her enough time to compose her emotions and strengthen her shields so that Luke wouldn't sense the baby, not yet. "Okay."
"Now let's see about getting you something to eat."
Mara grabbed Leia's arm and said, "Promise me that you won't tell your brother about the baby."
Leia nodded. "Of course, as long as you tell him after your conversation about .. . .Callista."
Mara nodded slowly .
"He loves you Mara. Give him a chance." Leia said soothingly.
"You don't know everything, Leia. Things are .. . .complicated between us."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't say anything else. If you want to know more, you're going to have to get Skywalker to tell you."
*********