Ok…here we go guys. Just to give everyone an idea we're probably 2/3 of the way through the story. I know it's long…I just hope everyone is still with me. I've had some questions for clarification but all I want to say about the last chapter is that Sydney is not bad. She just loves her daughter.
I want to give a huge thank-you to Lia for reading this over for me! Ok, last note. I've only heard Nirvana's cover of this song, but I figured that since it was remade from an older folk song it still fits in the genre of music that I want to use. I didn't want to use it because of any religious reference, I used it because to quote a reviewer from the Nirvana album, "it's a song of anti-redemption".
Well, enough babbling on my part. Here it is! And please, any comments are welcome!
Part 12.
This song is Jesus Don't Want me For a Sunbeam, by the Vaselines (covered by Nirvana)
She put her foot down quickly one in front of the other, swinging her rifle steady as she looked through the open door. It was empty. So far, the entire building seemed to be empty. For a moment she was worried that they were chasing a false lead. Maybe Sloane and Sark hadn't come here to Switzerland. She shook her head to banish her worries. She couldn't start doubting herself now.
She heard faint footsteps and she remembered that someone was behind her. She looked back and saw Vaughn following her down the hallway, his face anxious. She felt a momentary stab of guilt for pushing him away these last few days, especially after their night together in Rome. But it was that very night that had convinced her that she had no choice at all but to do that. The very happiness that she had felt when they were together only served to underscore how very much had been taken away from her. And how very big the hole in her soul truly was.
She tried to focus on her patrol through the empty hallways but her thoughts were still scattered. She thought back to the brief moment in the car yesterday, when he had come to sit next to her while they were pulled over to get gas. She remembered that she had been staring out the window and she wondered for a moment, if he had thought that that meant she was better. She didn't have the heart to tell him that the only reason she could stand to look at the sun again was because it had ceased to have any meaning for her. Her world was black now, regardless if she looked to the sun or not.
Back in the car, he had held her hand in a reassuring manner but really it had made her blood run cold. She realized now that she desperately needed to be whole again but she knew, intuitively, that the only way that was possible was for her to get her daughter back. As much as she wanted him to, he couldn't fill that hole for her. So she had told him to hurry. She hoped that he understood why. It was for her sake as well as their daughter's.
She brushed aside her thoughts. She had to maintain her focus now. There was only one thing that she could afford to think about. She was within reach of her daughter. She just knew it.
"Sydney!" she heard a voice calling and it echoed down the tunnel. She inwardly winced at the noise and she turned to look back. She did not look back because her name was called, that hadn't even registered in her mind. She saw Vaughn moving quickly trying to catch up to her, but she turned back and kept moving. She couldn't wait for him. She just had the horrible feeling that she was running out of time.
Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me
She threw open the door at the end of the hall and scanned the room quickly. It looked like a small lab with all the usual assortment of equipment and chemicals normally found in a lab.
She took in the open chemical cabinet in the corner, the small table in the centre of the room and as her eyes wandered around the room she saw an observation window to her left. She felt herself drawn to the window like a magnet.
The window overlooked another lab, but this one was huge. It had many workstations and it was filled with equipment. She noticed that the glass had a slight silver tinge to it and she guessed that it was mirrored so that the occupants below could not see her. Which was a very good thing because the occupants below were the very people she was looking for.
She felt herself give a sharp intake of breath. On a table near the centre of the lab lay her little baby. She stared in silenced horror, as her daughter lay limp and pale on a cold steel table, at the mercy of Sloane and Sark.
She was so overwhelmed by the sight in front of her that she didn't even notice as she laid her rifle against the wall because she never took her eyes off of her child. She heard the door swing open but she knew it was only Vaughn. Whether or not she would have reacted if she wasn't sure, she didn't know.
All she knew was that her daughter looked so much bigger than the last time she had seen her. But then again, when she had been born, she had been so small that she almost fit in the palms of her two hands. She looked at her daughter's pale face and her heart constricted.
Then Sark approached her daughter with Sloane not far behind. She watched in horror as Sark filled his syringe full of her daughter's blood and then she felt a rage like nothing she'd ever felt before. That anybody would dare to hurt her defenseless baby was something she could not comprehend. She trembled slightly as the rage coursed through her body.
She saw a man come to take the syringe away from Sark and she felt something within herself snap. Without thought or care she curled her fist up into a ball so tight that her nails dug into her palm. The pain didn't stop her though, it only fueled her anger. Almost on instinct she swung her arm back and then charged it forward with all her might. Her only goal: to shatter the glass between her and her daughter's tormentors.
Her fist was stopped in mid-air by the man standing next to her. She turned to him with her face contorted in anger. "Let me go," she demanded through clenched teeth.
She saw him staring in her eyes, unwilling to look away though she knew that the look on her face would stop anyone else's blood cold. She felt nothing as she stared at his face except a cold, burning fury that he was stopping her from being with her daughter. His eyes seemed to be demanding something from her but she had nothing to give him. She was empty save for the rage within her.
A voice from the intercom shattered their battle as it spoke. "I don't think it's working Mr. Sloane."
She turned back to the window transfixed as she watched Sloane and Sark move towards the man in the far corner standing next to the machine that he had placed the blood sample in. She watched with a small surge of satisfaction as Sloane slammed his fist into the side of the machine. "We need his blood! I knew this wouldn't work." She heard him cry in frustration.
Then she watched as Sark moved around the equipment. "There are two problems here, Sir. The first is that the power source is not connected properly, we're not getting any reading from the accelerator. The second problem does seem to be from her blood. Some of the code is matching up but—"
She stopped listening as her eyes traveled across the lab to the small baby lying unconscious on the table. Everything had been for nothing. They had destroyed her life, they had taken her daughter away from her, and everyone who had died, had all been for naught. The men who had mastermind the death and suffering of millions couldn't even get their plan to work. She thought that for a moment she should have felt vindicated but she didn't. She knew she didn't want them to succeed, but she knew that she wanted them to feel the same pain that she did. She wanted them to suffer.
She looked around the laboratory again, not consciously thinking of a plan but one was forming anyway. She saw the open cabinet and the various chemicals inside. A small bottle of halothane caught her attention as she moved towards the cabinet. She was unable to process anything rationally but incoherent thoughts flew through her mind in a jumble. For a little vial of blood they had destroyed her life and taken her daughter from her. But they needed his blood. All this pain that she had suffered through had been only so that they could get his blood. Though all this had been told to her that night in the apartment in Rome, it was something quite different for her to see it played out in front of her.
She reached for a handful of gauze with her left hand and the bottle of halothane with her right. She did not consciously think of the end results that she was aiming for, she only thought that the halothane was necessary because she was no longer as strong as she used to be. That's why her daughter was lying on the table on the other side of the mirror, away from her. She had allowed her to be taken away because she had lacked the strength to stop them. She took a deep breath, unscrewed the cap and drenched the gauze with the drug.
"What are you doing?" she heard his voice behind him.
She continued pouring.
"Sydney?"
For a moment she wondered who he was talking to and then her mother's words ran randomly through her mind… a person's name is a sacred thing…a person's soul is revealed through their name.
Did she have a soul anymore, she wondered absently. Her name coming from his lips no longer had the power to make her weak in her knees, but she was sure that it once did. Was that because he had changed from the person she loved, or was it because she had?
Though her strength was not what it used to be, her aptitude at spatial relations had not diminished. She spun around and timed her kick perfectly so that it knocked him back and to the floor. It was enough to wind him she saw and she used the opportunity to climb over him.
"Syd—"
She held the gauze tight over his mouth and nose, blocking off any further sound from his voice. He struggled for a few moments but between the surprise and his fall to the ground he was helpless. Within a few minutes his head fell limp into her hands and she felt only emptiness.
She stared at his peaceful face for a moment as something tugged at her memory but she pushed it aside. She involuntarily laid her left hand on his cheek, perhaps as a single last attempt to see if the darkness within her could be quieted simply by his touch. And though her heart gave a wretched tug within her chest, it was nothing compared to the shattering it underwent when she thought of her daughter, lying helpless on the table.
She forced herself up and back to the cabinet where she had seen syringes and alcohol and grabbed a syringe. She quickly swabbed the inside of his arm and used the syringe to puncture his skin. She had a moment of déjà vu as she saw the bright red blood collect in the vial but she pushed that aside as well. When the vial was full she carefully removed the syringe and applied a small bandage that she had also found and got up.
She looked around the lab one last time to see if there was more to her plan and she spotted a black notebook in the corner. Within a few strides she had it in her hands and was flipping through it. She recognized the neat, meticulous handwriting from a lifetime ago. She had seen it back when she had worked at SD-6 for the very devil himself. The writing belonged to Sloane's partner, Sark.
She looked at the drawings and the calculations. Some were encoded but he had hidden the cipher within the work and it was a simple one at that. It didn't take her more than a few minutes to get a basic understanding of what they were trying to do. And her blood chilled even further.
Were they trying to find a cure for Emily's cancer? Her name kept appearing within the notes but something didn't make any sense. She tucked the lab book under her arm and turned towards the door. She looked one last time at the unconscious man on the floor and she felt her heart twist a little more. But the voices through the intercom still echoed around the room and they forced her attention back to the window.
"Inject her with the virus anyway. Maybe the results will be close enough." Sloane demanded to an unnamed man in a while lab coat. The unnamed man moved towards a bench and she had to move slightly so that she could see where he went through the observation window. And then she saw a small red ball suspended in air between a metal circle and she knew what they meant to do.
Her rage resurfaced ten-fold and filled her emptiness like a tidal wave. She saw what they meant to do but she would be damned if she would let them do it.
Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me
Her movements did not register completely in her conscious mind but subconsciously she was putting all the pieces together. She found herself running through a hallway and down another set of stairs. She berated herself for leaving her rifle behind but it was too late now. She would have to make do with what she found.
She heard a man coming up another landing of the stairs and she quietly removed the knife from her pocket. Though her strength was diminished her instincts and reflexes were not. As he made her way down to the main laboratory she left a trail of bloody corpses behind. Apparently her rage and desperation easily made up for what she lacked in martial arts practice.
She found a circuit panel just inside the laboratory and it didn't take her long to remove the lights from shining down. She plunged the lab into darkness with a small smile. They were on even footing now.
The chaos that ensued allowed her to remove a few more men from the equation and though she heard Sark and Sloane screaming orders in the background she couldn't locate them without giving herself away. At least the clutter of equipment gave lots of cover as she sneaked around the lab. Eventually she made her way to the far side of the room where she gained access to the equipment that the men had brought her daughter's blood to.
She placed the vial of blood that she had taken with her into the machine and flipped open the lab book. It looked like they were only looking for a component within the blood. It looked like it was a cofactor used in the antibody for the virus but she wasn't sure. But she didn't waste any time in trying to figure it out. Though this step was the crucial one for her enemies, for her it was simply the first step in revenge. While the machine whirled and beeped and separated the components from the blood she looked back over the notebook. Her next step was the power source.
It didn't take her long to maneuver around the darkened lab but she did have a near encounter with one of the large thugs. Luckily between the knife she still had and the cabinet that had been between them she had managed to outmaneuver him and add him to her body count. She didn't even blink as the blood spattered onto her clothing.
The power source she discovered was not for the particle accelerator but rather its output seemed to lead to an egg-shaped container. And then it hit her. She had seen this container before…in India…with her mother and her father. She ran to the egg shaped container and tried to open it. It was closed tight but that wasn't why she had to stop trying to open it. Touching the container had frozen her hands.
Her mind was whirling as she rubbed her hands together to try and warm them up. And then she stopped. She realized that the pain in her hands went well with the rage in her heart. But she was puzzled because she didn't remember the container being so cold when she had seen the flower emerge from it. She looked around for an opening mechanism and finally found it on the side.
With a quite swish the container opened and suddenly all the pieces clicked into place. She didn't think it was possible to be anymore shocked. She had really thought that she was beyond all feeling anymore. But inside the container, curled upon herself lay Emily; very pale, very cold and very dead.
And then she realized that this wasn't just a quest for world domination for Sloane. He didn't want millions of dollars. His desire wasn't to be the most powerful man in history. His quest was to alter the very fundamentals of nature. He was trying to bring Emily back to life.
She heard the noise of someone approaching her from the other side of the workstation, and without hesitation she grabbed a large jar off of a nearby lab bench and brought it up quickly over her head. She could almost feel them coming around towards her.
As Sark came around the other side she happened to glance up at his blue eyes and she knew that she had surprised him. She didn't hesitate to bring the jar crashing down on his head, she only regretted the noise of the shattering glass.
She saw Sark lying unconscious on the floor and she knew that she had to work quickly. The serum that she had put in the machine had finished whatever it was doing and it had started flashing. It appeared that whatever component it had separated from Vaughn's blood was part of the energy source. She looked over the connections between the power source and the Rambaldi egg shaped container. They had made a few mistakes in their assembly. She saw it plain as day. But she didn't want to fix it completely. No, in fact she wanted to rewire it slightly.
She grabbed a small remote that she saw on the workbench and hunched over the power source. She made sure to work quickly.
Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me
"Sydney!" Sloane cried out in surprise. She jumped back slightly from the power source that she had been working on, surprised by his sudden appearance, but she had the satisfaction of seeing him look about in worry. She didn't know if it was her location or the look in her eyes that made him tremble slightly, but regardless of the cause a small smile crept over her face.
Sloane eyed her warily as she moved away from the power source, holding something small in her hand. He couldn't tell what it was and that made him nervous. He was at the pinnacle of over thirty years work and he could almost taste the sweet flavor of success. His eyes followed her as she moved around him and her eyes never left his.
"What are you doing Sydney?" Sloane asked trying to keep his nervousness from showing in his voice.
She only looked back at him coldly. "I could ask you the same thing."
Sloane looked about and saw the opened egg-shaped container. The panic was clearly visible on his face and he couldn't stop the words from rushing out of his mouth. "I just want to be with Emily. Forever. I love her and I want to be with her. I want a little bit of immortality. Is that so bad? Wouldn't you like that as well." She was surprised to see him almost begging her to help him.
"I already have it." Sydney responded coldly with no act on her part necessary.
She just stared back at him, her eyes trying to bore through him so that she could catch a glimpse of understanding for the man who had caused her so much pain. But she only saw an old man looking back at her and for a moment she couldn't understand how one man could have brought about such misery. He was only one man.
"I'm surprised at you Sydney." Sloane began to speak as he saw her move towards the oval container. He tried to move about innocently but she had already guessed where his true weakness lay.
She didn't answer him and he trembled again. She acted like what he said was of no consequence to her. It really wasn't.
"Why are you doing this? You had the opportunity to grab your daughter and run a while ago and yet you leave her lying on the table over there? Maybe we did the proper thing in taking her away from you if that's the kind of mother you would be."
She didn't even glance at the table. She had seen her daughter lying there from the window in the lab overlooking this one and it was then that she had understood a very important fact. "I think you should know that after this, I will never speak to you again. But there is something that I need to make very clear to you. The thing that I want more than anything else is to see my daughter safe. But she can never be safe while you are still breathing. You locked me up, you wore me down, I couldn't fight you one on one now. But you could never take away my mind. And I have out-thought you now. You had the pieces assembled all wrong. But I fixed them. I put them all together, well at least all the pieces that you had. Now I want you to see."
Sloane shouted to her as she moved towards the opened oval container. He ran to her to stop her and threw himself over the container, trying to protect Emily's body from whatever she had been planning. She smiled a small smile as she flicked the switch on the remote that she carried. The machine started to buzz and Sloane looked around in horror.
"What have you done?" he cried as the buzzing intensified.
She stood mesmerized by the sound and strange light emanating from the oval that she didn't see Sloane reach out his hand and suddenly grasp her arm. She had no chance to pull back or stop her fall into the container as well.
"Sydney!" cried out a voice behind her, but she never saw Sark stand back up again. All she saw was a blinding light and the horrible buzzing filled her ears until it was replaced by a beautiful melody. It never made any sense to her but it didn't have to. She had succeeded in her quest.
Don't expect me to cry,
For all the reasons you had to die
"Sydney!" Vaughn cried from his view at the observation window. All he saw was a lab bathed in darkness except for a small light coming from a corner of the room. From the glow of the light he could see Sloane lying overtop of something but the glow was becoming a part of him as well. He was braced against the window, unable to leave the view of the drama below but he still was not prepared for the sight of Sloane grabbing Sydney by the arm and pulling him towards her. Or the sight of her being enveloped by the glowing light as well. He never noticed Sark standing behind her and he didn't understand the significance of the music he heard over the intercom or where it was coming from. Years later the tune would come back to haunt him, but at the time he hardly even realized it.
The explosion that followed shattered the window he was leaning against but the force of it threw him back into the room.
***
"Sydney!" Irina cried out from her view at the opposite end of the laboratory. In the back of her mind she could hear her cry being echoed by Tippin, who up until a moment ago had been by her side. Now she could spare no thought to anything but what she was seeing. Even amidst all the equipment and clutter she had a direct view of the scene.
She had seen Sydney talking with Sloane. She had seen her daughter approach the Rambaldi device, which she had instantly recognized. She had seen Sloane throw himself over the sphere and she had seen the light that seemed to overtake him. And then she had seen him grab her daughter's arm and force her to share his fate.
Beyond that she saw, but she did not bother to try and understand why Sark was standing up behind where her daughter had been standing. She didn't care that he had screamed her name as well. She didn't bother to wonder why he was bringing a small metal tube up to his lips or where the soulful music was coming from. There was only one thought in her mind and that was for her daughter. Everything else within her was black except for that thought.
Without thinking she raced towards the scene but she was blown off her feet as the explosion rocked the laboratory.
***
Irina managed to pick herself up off the floor.
Vaughn got up and brush the broken glass off of him.
Will looked about and wondered why the sphere was still glowing.
***
Vaughn raced down the stairs and through the laboratory. There was debris and dust everywhere but he soon saw one of the things he was looking for. He raced to the small table and picked up his daughter. He looked her over quickly, amazed that the explosion hadn't seemed to harm her in any way. He then looked her over a second time with the realization dawning on him that he was holding his daughter for the first time. And then he brought her into his arms and held her tight while tears rolled down his face. His daughter responded by giving a small cry.
Irina forced her way through the debris until she reached the damaged oval container. It was still glowing slightly but Irina ignored it. Instead she grasped the body of her daughter and held her tightly against her chest. She looked her over for signs of life but her body was already so cold. She looked her over a second time with the realization dawning on her that she was holding her daughter for the last time. And then she brought her into her arms and held her so tight. Tears sprang from her eyes as well but the cry that escaped was from her own mouth. It was a cry of sorrow and it seemed to echo around the building causing all those still alive to feel her sorrow.
Sark stood silently and watched; his face forlorn. He tucked the metal tube back into his jacket pocket and turned to leave. He felt more than a little out of place witnessing this scene. Irina happened to glance up and catch his eyes.
Still clutching her daughter to her chest she forced the words out of her mouth. "What have you done Sark?"
Sark looked at her mournfully but then hardened his face. "The only thing I could do Irina. The only thing I could. But it wasn't supposed to turn out like this!" His last statement almost coming out like a plea.
Irina broke her gaze away from him and rested her forehead on her daughter's chest. Her sobbing continued until she was joined by Will and Vaughn.
Irina would never forget two things from that day. The feel of her daughter's cold body held tightly against her own and the look on Vaughn's face when he held his daughter up against his chest and looked down at the body of the woman who should have been his wife. That everything she had done and sacrificed…that it should all end like this was unfathomable to her. And just about broke her heart.
Many years later she would remember a third thing from that day as well but it hardly seemed relevant compared to everything else that had come to pass. She remembered picking up her daughter's limp body and carrying her out to their trucks. But the thing that struck her about that day, was that she had no need to cry. When she exited the building she saw that the sky had covered over completely and as the rain pelted down on her face she remembered thinking that instead, the whole world was crying for her.