I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has left a review or comment. I really appreciate them. I love hearing about what you liked or didn't like. You will be getting answers shortly but in the meantime, just to tease you all a little, Sark and Will will be coming back, I promise. Here you go…
Part 13.
A/N: Unless specified, all the conversations are taking place in French.
This song is Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers
And time goes by
So slowly
And time can do so much
Six years later, in a small town in France.
Vaughn flipped his cell phone shut and disconnect the call. Glancing down at his watch he noticed that it was almost time. He hated to leave business so close to her arrival but this client could not be put off. He looked around his den to see if anything needed to be straightened up, but everything seemed to be in good order.
Vaughn heard the main door open and some shuffling outside his office so he went to investigate. Maria the housekeeper was motioning for someone to come inside, so he moved towards the door to get a better look.
A young, pretty, raven-haired woman whom he thought looked vaguely familiar greeted him. As his eyes traveled down her arm, he saw that she was holding the hand of an even prettier blonde little girl whom he definitely knew. His face broke out into a grin.
"Hi sweetie" he said and the little girl let go of the woman's hand to embrace his hips.
"Papa!" she cried happily before letting go of his legs, dropping her knapsack in the hall and running off to turn on the TV. Maria threw her hands up in the air in an exasperated manner before picking up the discarded knapsack and putting it away.
Vaughn watched his daughter run down the hallway before turning his attention back to the woman who had brought her home. He raised his eyebrow in question.
The woman smiled briefly before extending her hand. "Good afternoon. Mr. Bristow, I presume?"
Vaughn shook her hand. "Actually I'm Michael Vaughn, but I'm Dawn's father if that's who you are looking for."
The woman looked slightly surprised but she recovered her poise quickly. "I'm Miss Élise Chevrier. I'm Dawn's teacher."
Vaughn nodded, finally remembering that he had seen her briefly when he had dropped his daughter off on the first day of school. "Come in." He invited with a swift motion of his arm.
Miss Chevrier walked into the house and Vaughn led her to the sitting room. "May I get you something to drink or…?"
She shook her head and waited until he sat down to start speaking. "I'm sorry to bother you at home Mr. Vaughn, but something happened at school today which I thought I should speak to you about. That's why I came home with your housekeeper and Dawn."
Vaughn felt the instantaneous wave of panic run through his body as he thought of all his worst fears coming to pass. Luckily these last six years had honed his skills and hardened him, allowing his thoughts to pass through his head with no reflection on his face. He forced himself to wait patiently for her to continue.
Unaware of the turmoil inside his mind, Miss Chevrier continued. "Today the children were making cards to give to all their mothers for Mother's Day. Everything was going well until I saw that Dawn was not working on anything. She was just sitting at her desk, looking down at her lap. So I went to talk to her but she just pushed me away. She said that I wouldn't understand. I held her back at recess to try and talk to her but she wouldn't say anything. I thought I would walk her home today to see if there was anything that I could do to help her. Obviously something is upsetting her, relating to her mother." She stopped speaking but her last statement was left as a question.
Vaughn forced an understanding smile to his face as he let out the breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. So they were still safe. For now. Unfortunately her teacher was looking at him like she expected an answer. "Her mother died shortly after she was born. She never knew her," he answered her neutrally.
A look of sympathy immediately crossed Miss Chevrier's face. "I'm so sorry. That would certainly explain Dawn's reaction in class today." She paused for a moment as if she were thinking of how to phrase her next sentence. "If I may be so bold as to suggest this, I think you should speak to Dawn about her mother. I think that something is bothering her…"
Vaughn nodded in agreement. "I will. Thank-you for bringing this to my attention. I will make sure that I speak with her." He stood up abruptly, signifying that the conversation had come to an end.
"If there's anything I can do to help, if you think that she needs a woman present—"
He interrupted her with a wave of his hand. "No, but that thank-you Miss Chevrier. I appreciate your concern and I thank-you for coming over but this is a conversation that is best done between me and my daughter, alone."
Miss Chevrier nodded to herself and followed him back to the door. He let her out and then leaned against the closed door. He couldn't even remember if he had said goodbye to her. But thoughts of Miss Chevrier did not concern him and so his mind quickly discarded the irrelevant. His mind was a whirl of different thoughts. He had been so sure that she was about to tell him about some blonde man that had approached his daughter or made some threatening move towards her or that maybe he had been discovered. But he shook his head at the last thought. If she knew that he was a wanted man she would not have come to his house. She would have just called the police.
Instead, she had come over to stir up demons that he had foolishly prayed would never be stirred up in daylight again. Demons that he faced every night for the last six years but only in his mind and in the safety of his lonely bedroom. He shuddered at the thought of bringing those demons out into his daughter's sight.
He took another deep breath and forced himself to get off the door. Though his heart was hammering wildly in his chest he knew that he had to talk to Dawn. She deserved to know about her mother and he was determined not to repeat past mistakes. Sydney wouldn't let him. Sydney would haunt him even more if she thought for a minute that he was treating their daughter like Jack had treated her as a child. He just knew it. The irony of his life was not lost on him.
***
Vaughn walked into the living room and leaned against the wall, savoring the peaceful view. Dawn was lying on the floor in front of the television, on her stomach with her hands holding her chin up. Her long blonde hair was loose around her shoulders and she was laughing at the cartoons.
She turned her face and looked up at her dad and smiled. "Do you want to watch cartoons with me, Papa?"
Vaughn shook his head but before she could turn back to her cartoons he spoke. "Would it be alright if we talked instead?"
Dawn got up off the floor, somewhat reluctantly and slowly made her way to the couch. Vaughn picked up the remote and turned off the television before sitting down next to her.
"Why are you so sad honey?" he asked tilting her head up so that she was looking at him.
Dawn shrugged her small shoulders.
"Miss Chevrier said you were sad today in class."
Dawn looked down again, avoiding her father's eyes.
"It's ok honey. We can talk about mommy if you want." Vaughn said caressing the back of her head, in a comforting manner. He was surprised that the words came out as easily as they did.
Dawn looked up, her hazel eyes filling with tears. "But I don't want to make you sad too, Papa. And you always get sad when someone talks about her."
Vaughn thought he would cry, seeing his daughter struggle to avoid giving him any pain. And then he felt ashamed that he had made her worry about that. He was supposed to be protecting her, not the other way around. He brought her into a big hug. "I won't be sad darling, I promise. Do you want me to tell you about mommy?"
Dawn nodded her head against his chest. She stayed there against him for a few moments before leaning back so that he could speak.
Vaughn tried to put a smile on his face. He ignored the constriction around his heart and focused instead on his daughter's face. "Well what do you want to know. You must already know that she was beautiful because you look just like her." He said teasing her with a quick caress to her chin. She had his blonde hair, like he had had when he was a kid, before it had darkened in his teens. Her eyes were a mixture of green and brown and she had his chin. But other than that she was spitting image of Sydney.
His teasing brought a smile out of her and lent her some courage. "What was she like?" she asked softly.
Vaughn thought about it for a moment before answering. Where did he start? What would she understand? "Well besides being beautiful she was really strong and quick. Just like you when you're doing gymnastics."
Dawn's smile increased. "Did she do gymnastics too?" she asked excitedly.
Vaughn laughed at her eagerness. "Well I'm sure she must have at some point."
"Did she really look like me?"
Vaughn nodded and he knew that he couldn't help a touch of sadness from creeping onto his face.
"I wish I could have seen her." Dawn whispered, afraid that she was making her father sad again.
Vaughn paused for a moment in consideration. "Dawn, will you wait here for a moment?"
She nodded as she anxiously watched her father dart out of the room.
Wait for meWait for me
I'll be coming home
Wait for me
Vaughn raced upstairs to his room, having remembered something that his daughter would appreciate. But, as he got to his closet, he halted. Fear and uncertainty suddenly coursed through his body and he was unsure if he was ready to face what he was about to do. He stood there for a moment in front of his bedroom closet, breathing heavily from his run up the flight of stairs, staring at the doorknob. It was only the thought of his daughter downstairs, waiting for him that finally forced him to reach forward and actually grab to handle.
He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself before he opened the door to the closet. He flicked on the light switch and walked in. He knew what he was looking for and he knew where it was, but there was no way on this earth that he could face it in the dark.
He saw it in the corner of his walk-in closet and he had to brace himself against the doorframe as a wave of nausea assailed him. There, in the dark corner of his closet sat a dark green duffel bag. He waited a moment for the nausea to pass but that was why he had placed it in the far corner, when his clothes only took up the first rack. He always felt sick when he happened to look at it.
Vaughn took another deep breath and let it out slowly. Irina had once talked about a breathing technique that she used and he thought briefly and randomly that he would have to ask her about it when she got back from her trip. He rubbed his sweaty hands on his cotton pants.
Like a swimmer diving into icy waters he forced himself to take the pace forward and plunge into the abyss of his closet. He knelt down on the floor and opened the bag, wrinkling his nose as the smell reached him. It was the smell of dust, dirt and death.
Carefully he pushed aside his old pair of boots and picked up the dark tactical clothing tangled together in the bag. He felt around for the pockets. When he realized that he was holding the pair of pants, he threw them back in the bag and kept looking for his jacket. He eventually found it and the pocket that he was looking for.
He fingered the button on the pocket for a few moments as he noticed some dried blood close to the flap. It was Sydney's blood; dried and old and as he stood there playing with the button, he was helpless to stop the memories as they came unbidden and forced their way into his mind.
Most of all, besides the gray and the pain, it was the rain that he remembered. The rain coming down as they ran out of the building. He remembered seeing Will waving his hands towards the trucks that they had brought. He remembered Irina walking quickly in front of him, holding Sydney's limp body in her arms and how Sydney's head had laid bent back, staring up at the sky. He remembered how the rain had beat down upon them, relentlessly. He remembered Irina stumbling under the weight she was carrying and falling to the ground, all the while keeping her daughter wrapped in her arms. The scene shifted a little and he remembered Will going over to Irina and then turning to him as the rain pelted down and motioned for him to give him his daughter. He remembered Irina sobbing uncontrollably with her head against Sydney's unmoving stomach and the rain plastering her long hair to her face. He remembered that the scene had looked gray and washed out. He didn't remember turning Dawn over to Will, he just remembered suddenly feeling that his arms were empty and he had gone over to Sydney. He remembered pulling Irina away from her and he remembered looking down at Sydney one last time. Her face had been so pale and her lips were almost blue. The only color that he remembered at all from that day was the small trail of blood that came from her pallid lips. And last of all he remembered picking her up and holding her head close to his chest as he carried her the rest of the way to the trucks.
The memory faded as he touched the spots of blood on his jacket and he forced his attention back to the button. He slid it through the hole and dug his hand in. He didn't know why he was surprised that they were all still there. It somehow felt wrong to have anything left over from that day but here they were. Tangible evidence of his failure. His hand closed around a small box and some papers and he brought them out into the light.
He opened his hand and saw the small jeweler's box that had haunted his thoughts that night, six years ago. He opened it up slowly, unable to stop himself now. He had avoided this bag and its contents for six years. He was surprised how easily he opened it up now. He thought it would hurt a lot more.
Inside the box, he saw the heart-shaped sapphire and it sparkle brightly, almost knowingly at him. He picked up the ring carefully, his fingers looking too big to handle such a delicate and beautiful piece of jewelry.
Memories of times never to come flashed briefly before his eyes. Sydney smiling at him when she accepted his ring. Sydney looking up at him on their wedding day when he lifted the veil from her face so that she could look at him with wonder and amazement. The happiness on Sydney's face when he lifted her up and carried her over the threshold of their new house. Bittersweet memories that only lived in his mind were made all the more poignant because they could have been real. They could have been, if only he'd been a little stronger or had a little more courage or listened to the damn voice in his head.
He had been wrong a moment ago. It's not that it didn't hurt. It just hurt him so much, he could no longer feel it.
He shook his head to banish his thoughts away. He discarded the folded up paper that he had used to win Irina's release so many years ago and was left with only an old photograph in his hand. He looked it over, but at first the picture didn't really register in his mind. He noticed that the edges were bent and it had some scratches on it, but it would do. Looking at the picture again he heard the echo of his thoughts from six years ago. Like then, it was much harder now to look at a picture of her untouched by all the events that had occurred than to picture her lying dead in the wet grass. The first image had hope in it and that broke his heart all the more.
He tucked the photo and ring into his shirt pocket and closed his eyes. Dawn would have to wait a moment more for him because he wasn't ready to go back downstairs just yet.
I need your love
I need your love
He saw Dawn sitting patiently on the couch waiting for him to come back. He sat back down on the couch next to her and pulled the picture from his pocket and carefully handed it to her. Dawn cradled it gently in the palms of her hand and stared at it for a long time.
"Mommy had red hair." She stated in a surprised voice.
Vaughn shook his head and wondered how he could explain this to an six year old. "No honey. She had long brown hair actually. But she used to dress up a lot of times to look like other people."
Dawn creased her forehead in confusion. "Why? Did she go to Carnival too?"
Vaughn smiled sadly and picked her up and moved her into his lap. "No, she was a grown up. Only little people dress up for Carnival." He paused for a moment before continuing, trying desperately to form his thought into coherent sentences. "What I am going to tell you now though, you can't ever tell anyone. Promise me."
Dawn tried to look all serious as she promised and crossed her heart.
He finally settled on the direct approach. His muddled brain could not handle anything more complicated. "Your mom had to dress up like other people because she had to trick bad people. She worked to bring some bad people to justice and sometimes she had to disguise herself. See, there was this really evil man that she was trying to stop. She had been trying to stop him for a very long time. But instead one day, this man caught her. He locked mommy up in a room for a very long time and he didn't let her out. One day, me and Will… You remember Will right? And your grandmother…we rescued your mom. That's when she told me that she had had you. Before that time, I didn't know or I would not have let her go chasing after that bad man. Your mom was so sad when I found her…" his voice drifted off until he noticed his daughter looking at him intently. She'd always been a serious child and he blamed himself for that entirely. Perhaps he just hadn't laughed enough with her.
"Well we all went after that bad man that stole you and we found him. But your mommy found him first. I think that was when she realized something very important. She realized that as much as she loved you, no matter how hard she tried, or how hard she worked, you would never be safe until she killed that very bad man. And so she did the only thing she could do. She killed him. But Sloane…that was the name of the evil man, he trapped your mom so that she died too." Vaughn stopped talking and looked into his daughter's face. "She loved you so much."
"Did you love her Papa?" Dawn looked at him earnestly.
Vaughn laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I loved her very much Dawn. And I wanted to marry her but…I never asked." He had to stop himself from apologizing to his daughter. She wouldn't understand nor did she need to add his guilt to her sadness.
"I want to give you something. It won't fit you now because your fingers are too small, but if you promise to take good care of it you can wear it on your chain that Baba gave you."
Dawn quickly promised again, her face brightening up at the prospect of a gift. Vaughn pulled the ring from his pocket and put it in her small hand.
Dawn placed the picture on her lap and picked up the ring carefully. She moved it around so that the light caused the gems to sparkle. "It's beautiful."
"I was going to give it to your mom if she agreed to marry me. Now, I can give it to the only other woman that I love and that would be you."
Dawn rewarded him with a giant hug and almost knocked him over. He lifted her hair and unhooked her gold chain and she handed him back the ring so that he could thread it on her chain. He rehooked her necklace and plopped her hair back down her back. She looked around anxiously and he could tell that her attention was wavering so he settled for some last words. "If you ever want to talk about mommy to me you can."
"Why can't I tell anyone?" Dawn asked curiously.
Vaughn's forehead creased with worry. "There are still lots of people that are looking for me and Baba and there is still a bad man out there. He got away and we weren't able to stop him. I don't want him to ever find you. That's why we had to move last year. So this has to be our own little secret ok?"
Dawn nodded in understanding. There had been enough moving around in the last few years and she liked this small town that they lived in now. She liked her teacher. She didn't want to move again so soon.
Dawn picked up the picture off her lap. "Don't you want to keep this picture Papa?"
Vaughn smiled at her and rubbed her head affectionately. "I don't need to sweetie. Any time I want to see her I just have to look at you." He pinched her cheek playfully and let her go running up to her room to put away her new treasure.
As she left the room he closed his eyes in relief. He had done it and he hadn't broken down. In fact, the smile from his daughter's face had helped heal him a little. He smiled sadly. There was still so much that he had work through but maybe he had taken the first step. He doubted that he could ever fill the hole in his soul completely, but maybe one day he could at least reassemble the pieces that were remaining of it. Maybe.
I need your loveI need your love
God speed your love to me
Irina unlocked the front door and walked into the house. She was greeted by an excited six year old that quickly came to embrace her.
"Hi Baba!" Dawn cried as Irina bent down so she could throw her arms around her neck.
"How have you been my little angel?"
Dawn smiled brightly. "Good, of course. Did you bring me a present?"
Irina smiled and produced a wrapped package from behind her back. "Your father thinks that I spoil you." She said, switching from French to Russian.
Dawn beamed at the gift. She had understood but she replied back in French. "That's ok, Papa gave me a gift today too." She lifted the gold chain up to show Irina the ring. "He told me that he would have given it to my mom one day."
Irina frowned slightly before giving Dawn a quick kiss on her head and telling her to go bring the gift into her room before her father saw her. Dawn eagerly ran back upstairs with her present.
Irina went directly to the den and entered without knocking. Vaughn was looking through some files but he knew who had entered his study before looking up. There were only two people who would dare to disturb him and this one carried a lot more presence that the other. And she had bigger feet.
"How was your trip?" he asked in English, flipping through the remainder of the file before closing it and looking up at her.
"Fine." She replied bluntly also in English. It was just going to be one of those conversations. "I completed the contract with Hendershot. He will provide any intel he receives from his end if we can deliver the satellite codes for the new K-14 series satellites. I already have assets in place to acquire those codes. We should know more by the end of the week."
Vaughn nodded as he processed the new information.
"You told her about Sydney?" She asked directly. Her arms crossed over her chest in displeasure.
"Her teacher came by today to tell me that she had become upset in class when they were supposed to be making Mother's Day cards. So I decided to talk to her a little bit. She promised me that she wouldn't say anything. Perhaps I didn't make it clear that she wasn't supposed to tell you as well."
Irina glared at him. "If you were serious about keeping her safe—"
"Don't start with me!" Vaughn interrupted angrily.
"—you would have done what I'd suggest six years ago, changed all of our names and disappeared forever. Instead you foolishly believe that you can keep your name and identity and not have any repercussions from that!" Irina continued as though she hadn't been interrupted.
"And I told you six years ago that I would not condemn my daughter to a life based on lies. You and Jack did that to Sydney and it drove her to the very life you wanted to shield her from!"
Irina's eyes changed into angry slits. "Instead you are destroying her innocence by asking her to lie instead. Did you explain to her as well why she doesn't have the same last name as you? Was she able to understand that you wish to broadcast your guilt to the world?"
"It's not guilt." Vaughn said angrily, standing up. "It's the facts. She is her mother's daughter because I failed. I told you, I will not lie to her."
"Brilliant Michael. Just brilliant. And you expect a six year old to understand this. You are risking her life in case she accidentally mentions something to the wrong person."
"She won't say anything. She's a smart girl. You should know. She's picking up your Russian lessons very quickly." Vaughn accused.
"Well if you insist on staying this course, then she will need all the skills that she can get." Irina retorted not missing a beat.
They glared at each other for a few minutes, each unwilling to back down. Finally Irina looked away. This was not a new argument for them and she understood her place in the new order of things. "Did you take care of the teacher?"
Vaughn raised an eyebrow. "She's not buried in the basement if that's what you mean."
Irina rolled her eyes and accepted his peace offering. Such was the nature of their relationship now. Friends or not, enemies or not, it didn't matter anymore. Though they were not related and had no formal ties to bind them, they were family nonetheless. The only family either of them had left.
For your loveFor love, lonely time
Irina waited patiently in the hallway as all the children ran past her. The final bell had rung five minutes ago so she crossed her arms and leaned against the hallway wall. After another ten minutes, the flow of children seemed to have died down so she shifted her weight forward and moved carefully down the hallway. She had no desire to run into her granddaughter or the housekeeper who picked her up, but she wanted to make sure that she caught the teacher before she left as well.
She made her way down the hallway and casually glanced in the classroom. The door was open and the raven-haired teacher was standing behind her desk, packing her bag. The classroom was empty of children.
Irina knocked on the doorframe and tilted her head to look at the teacher. Miss Chevrier saw her and smiled neutrally. "Can I help you?"
Irina went into the classroom and extended her hand. "I'm Dawn's grandmother."
Miss Chevrier's smile turned warm as she shook her hand. "You are Dawn's grandmother? Excuse me for saying this but you look too young to be a grandmother!"
Irina smiled because the teacher had meant it as a compliment, though she had to mentally remind herself that of that. "Thank-you. You are too kind."
Miss Chevrier smiled and waited for Irina to continue.
"I just wanted to thank-you for coming over last night. Michael told me of your visit and of his subsequent conversation with Dawn. It's difficult talking to someone so young about such sad matters but I think you were right. At the very least Dawn needs to know that she can always talk to her family."
Miss Chevrier nodded in agreement. "Yes, she seemed a little happier today and she interacted well with all the children. Are you Mr. Vaughn's mother?"
Irina shook her head. "No, I'm Dawn's maternal grandmother."
"Oh, well thank-you Mrs. Bristow for coming down to see me. Sometimes—" Miss Chevrier stopped as she saw the frown cross Irina's face.
"Actually, it's Ms. Derevko" she offered quietly while cursing Vaughn's name in her head. It was bad enough that he was following this disastrous course with his daughter without forcing it upon her as well. But when he had said that he would not lie to his daughter, that also meant that he would not tolerate anyone else lying to her as well.
She watched the teacher's face shift to a frown and for the hundredth time she cursed Vaughn's stubbornness.
Miss Chevrier pursed her lips and finished her sentence tightly. "Yes, well as I was saying Ms. Derevko, I just wanted to thank-you for coming to see me and letting me know. Sometimes as a teacher, I don't know when I'm intruding or helping so it's nice to know when I am actually able to help."
Irina nodded and thanked her again, anxious to be on her way. As she was leaving the school she could only pray that she hadn't made things worse. She had gone there to check out the teacher and to make sure that the teacher was no longer worried about Dawn. She had wanted to avoid any further attention towards Dawn but she feared that she had done the opposite.
Irina forced herself not to worry. They were in a small town. Her and Michael had contacts everywhere whose only purposes were to provide them with intel on the activities of all the groups that could possibly harm them. They were as safe as they could be.
***
Miss Chevrier finished throwing the last of her paperwork in her bag; her thoughts a whirl over recent events. She knew that Adrien would be coming by tonight and she couldn't help but smile. She thought of his handsome face and his beautiful blue eyes and her heart fluttered a little. Maybe tonight she would tell him what he wanted to know.
She had met him two months ago when he came looking for information on Dawn and she had brushed him away. She smiled as she remembered all his attempts to get close to her, until the day he asked her to dinner without asking her first about Dawn. He had smiled at her, and her heart had melted. They had been seeing each other off and on since. He had explained to her that he'd had an argument with her father several years ago and he was just trying to find him to apologize. She had told that she would not talk about her students with him and he had left it at that. But perhaps tonight she would change her mind.
She shook her head as she thought about the kind of family Dawn lived with and her heart went out to the little girl. Dawn had never known her mother and obviously her mother and father had never married. And though her grandmother had seemed nice enough, she had either remarried or never married Dawn's mother's father! She shook her head in disgust. Maybe it would do Dawn some good if she met Adrien. He was so sweet and honest and Élise couldn't help but smile as she thought of him. Perhaps she would tell him where to find Dawn's father tonight. The child could only benefit from getting to know him.