Chapter 6 - Angst
I gasp for air; my body trembles. What is this meant to mean? I sit back down tears pressing my eyes; I have a sinking feeling that this is just going to get worse. Weiss reaches up and grabs the card from my hands. He too reads it. "Someone had a little too much time on their hands to think this one up." I'm frozen in my spot. Why me? I was assigned to help bring down the London SD cell, and that was a success. Libya was my first mission that even dealt with Sloane. I remember being briefed about the Libya mission, Calvin and I were so excited, we were finally getting our chance at tackling the big bad wolf. A tear finally falls from my eye, where had it got so complicated. I wipe my face and take another deep breath, letting the air pull me back to reality. I look up at Weiss. He is clearly conflicted about what to do. He shifts and looks down at his feet, "If you need someone I'm here." I look up at him.
"Will you take me back to Jack?" He nods understandingly and we head back toward the elevators in silence.
*****
We still hadn't said any words to each other since leaving the airport. Sydney was dedicated to not look at me. She sat looking out the window running her fingers through her hair. I stare back at the road. I'm never very good at apologizing after these fights.
"Syd . . . " I rub my forehead, trying to find the perfect words, "I'm sorry Syd."
She closes her eyes and drops her head. "I know Vaughn" her words barely audible. "You just need to understand that I need to go back to the field. I need to stop this before I lose anyone more. I need to detangle myself from this web. I can barely sleep at night. I worry all the time that..." she stops and takes a big breath and looks at me, tears now cover her eyes, "I worry that next I will lose you." Her words surprise me. This is the first time she ever told me this.
I mutter the only words that I can, "I love you."
"I love you, too." She reaches over and grabs my hand. We sit in silence for the rest of the drive to headquarters.
*****
The doors burst open, I look up to see Weiss and Zanna enter the room quickly.
"I think we have the missing piece Jack!" Weiss hands me a small orange card. I read it. It's definitely Sloane's writing on the back. He wants Sark. I had the card to Dixon.
"Where did you find this?" I look up at the pair of them.
Weiss looks at Zanna, and she turns to me, "I found it in my pocket."
I take the card back from Dixon and look at it again, "Weiss will you please escort Miss Adurea to the safe house for now."
"Wait!" She steps forward and leans down slamming her hands on the table, "I'm not just going to sit in a room while you figure this out. I have every right to be involved with this operation."
I look up, and turn an icy stare at her. "Miss Adurea, I'm the ranking Officer in here, and I have complete control over this mission." Weiss diverts his eyes from me, but she just stares right at me unblinking, unmoving. "I believe you are out of line."
Zanna cocks her head to one side and raises her voice, a look of defiance spreads across her face, "Excuse me Officer Bristow," she's mocking me now, "but I do believe that I'm the one who has more information on what's happening right now than you do. I was the one who was in Libya. I was the one who received the card. I am the one that Sloane choose to be the messenger for this sick game. I'm the one who has just lost her team to this man." She raises her voice even higher, "And I refuse to just sit back now, when I've just lost a good portion of my life to this man!"
I straighten my posture in my chair but do not stand, I don't even raise my voice, "Miss Adurea, have you ever met Sloane?"
She's taken aback by my question, "No." Her words are quiet now, and her self-confidence is waning.
"Well I have. I've known this man for a good portion of my life. I've known him even before you were born. If that doesn't make me a great scholar on the topic of Sloane than you, I don't know what does." She drops her eyes from me, and takes a deep breath. She's been defeated. "Now if you will please follow Officer Weiss to the safe house, I will handle this operation the way I see fit, unless there is anything else?"
She stands back up pulling her shoulders back, and raises her chin, her eyes are not proud anymore, they are pleading. "I don't want to sit this one out. I need answers about what has gone on in the last 48 hours. I think you can agree I deserve that."
I nod, "I agree you need answers, but right now, your loyalty is still in question."
Anger boils back into her eyes, but she bites her tongue. "If you will now go with Officer Weiss, I promise within the next 24 hours, I will contact you about where we are going from here."
She dead locks her eyes into mine, "I'm not the bad guy, just remember that. I've been thrown into the same circumstances as you have." With that she turns around and follows Weiss out the door. I look back down at her file, my gut says she's not the trap, but I can't be too sure. I never would have thought Laura to be a trap.
Dixon clears his throat pulling me out of my reverie of thought, "So Sloane must want Sark back, right? But he just delivered us four dead agents and one agent with a get out of jail free card. He seems to have nothing to bargain Sarks release. So why even try to ask for it?"
"Because this is all a mind game with Sloane."
I gasp for air; my body trembles. What is this meant to mean? I sit back down tears pressing my eyes; I have a sinking feeling that this is just going to get worse. Weiss reaches up and grabs the card from my hands. He too reads it. "Someone had a little too much time on their hands to think this one up." I'm frozen in my spot. Why me? I was assigned to help bring down the London SD cell, and that was a success. Libya was my first mission that even dealt with Sloane. I remember being briefed about the Libya mission, Calvin and I were so excited, we were finally getting our chance at tackling the big bad wolf. A tear finally falls from my eye, where had it got so complicated. I wipe my face and take another deep breath, letting the air pull me back to reality. I look up at Weiss. He is clearly conflicted about what to do. He shifts and looks down at his feet, "If you need someone I'm here." I look up at him.
"Will you take me back to Jack?" He nods understandingly and we head back toward the elevators in silence.
*****
We still hadn't said any words to each other since leaving the airport. Sydney was dedicated to not look at me. She sat looking out the window running her fingers through her hair. I stare back at the road. I'm never very good at apologizing after these fights.
"Syd . . . " I rub my forehead, trying to find the perfect words, "I'm sorry Syd."
She closes her eyes and drops her head. "I know Vaughn" her words barely audible. "You just need to understand that I need to go back to the field. I need to stop this before I lose anyone more. I need to detangle myself from this web. I can barely sleep at night. I worry all the time that..." she stops and takes a big breath and looks at me, tears now cover her eyes, "I worry that next I will lose you." Her words surprise me. This is the first time she ever told me this.
I mutter the only words that I can, "I love you."
"I love you, too." She reaches over and grabs my hand. We sit in silence for the rest of the drive to headquarters.
*****
The doors burst open, I look up to see Weiss and Zanna enter the room quickly.
"I think we have the missing piece Jack!" Weiss hands me a small orange card. I read it. It's definitely Sloane's writing on the back. He wants Sark. I had the card to Dixon.
"Where did you find this?" I look up at the pair of them.
Weiss looks at Zanna, and she turns to me, "I found it in my pocket."
I take the card back from Dixon and look at it again, "Weiss will you please escort Miss Adurea to the safe house for now."
"Wait!" She steps forward and leans down slamming her hands on the table, "I'm not just going to sit in a room while you figure this out. I have every right to be involved with this operation."
I look up, and turn an icy stare at her. "Miss Adurea, I'm the ranking Officer in here, and I have complete control over this mission." Weiss diverts his eyes from me, but she just stares right at me unblinking, unmoving. "I believe you are out of line."
Zanna cocks her head to one side and raises her voice, a look of defiance spreads across her face, "Excuse me Officer Bristow," she's mocking me now, "but I do believe that I'm the one who has more information on what's happening right now than you do. I was the one who was in Libya. I was the one who received the card. I am the one that Sloane choose to be the messenger for this sick game. I'm the one who has just lost her team to this man." She raises her voice even higher, "And I refuse to just sit back now, when I've just lost a good portion of my life to this man!"
I straighten my posture in my chair but do not stand, I don't even raise my voice, "Miss Adurea, have you ever met Sloane?"
She's taken aback by my question, "No." Her words are quiet now, and her self-confidence is waning.
"Well I have. I've known this man for a good portion of my life. I've known him even before you were born. If that doesn't make me a great scholar on the topic of Sloane than you, I don't know what does." She drops her eyes from me, and takes a deep breath. She's been defeated. "Now if you will please follow Officer Weiss to the safe house, I will handle this operation the way I see fit, unless there is anything else?"
She stands back up pulling her shoulders back, and raises her chin, her eyes are not proud anymore, they are pleading. "I don't want to sit this one out. I need answers about what has gone on in the last 48 hours. I think you can agree I deserve that."
I nod, "I agree you need answers, but right now, your loyalty is still in question."
Anger boils back into her eyes, but she bites her tongue. "If you will now go with Officer Weiss, I promise within the next 24 hours, I will contact you about where we are going from here."
She dead locks her eyes into mine, "I'm not the bad guy, just remember that. I've been thrown into the same circumstances as you have." With that she turns around and follows Weiss out the door. I look back down at her file, my gut says she's not the trap, but I can't be too sure. I never would have thought Laura to be a trap.
Dixon clears his throat pulling me out of my reverie of thought, "So Sloane must want Sark back, right? But he just delivered us four dead agents and one agent with a get out of jail free card. He seems to have nothing to bargain Sarks release. So why even try to ask for it?"
"Because this is all a mind game with Sloane."