:I hate looking for jobs, absolutely hate it. It's like a lamb going to the slaughter house.
Yeah, that's pretty much all I've been doing for the past couple of days. Looking for a job.:
Second Chance
Chapter 4 - Tell Her
August 10th
As the days went by, Chandler continued to live in a state of denial. He refused to let Monica and Pete's reunion bother him, although deep down he was boiling with jealousy. As he no longer had a job, he joined Joey on the all night visits to bars and strip clubs. He would find himself lying in a beautiful woman's bed the next morning – his head pounding with a hangover. The woman who he had only met hours previously would nod along to his excuses that he couldn't see her anymore and he'd leave with a feeling of shame and nausea.
One morning, he arrived back outside his own apartment after a particularly wild liaison with a stripper to find he was locked out. He'd forgotten to take his keys with him the night before.
"Damn," he muttered, banging on the door.
The door opened to reveal Joey – who looked totally unaffected by the vast amounts of alcohol he'd consumed – shaking his head at the miserable looking Chandler.
"What's wrong with you dude?" he asked, letting his roommate walk in.
"Nothing's wrong," Chandler muttered at him, filling up a glass with water and taking huge gulps from it.
"Of course there's something wrong," Joey told him, "You're a mess! You're unemployed, you don't sleep in your own bed and when you do, you sleep talk! What's bothering you man?"
"Nothing's wrong," Chandler repeated, leaning his forehead on the counter.
The door opened and in walked Monica, holding a tray of muffins. "Hey guys!" she said cheerfully, "I've just made these for breakfast! Take one!"
Joey grinned and grabbed three, "Great Mon," he said, his voice muffled as he put one in his mouth whole.
"Chandler?" Monica prompted, "Do you want one?"
Chandler lifted his head from the counter and shook his head. He loved seeing Monica in the mornings – her hair was a mess and her makeup-free skin glowed naturally with happiness and content.
"Aww come on Bing! Pete loved these when he tried them; trust me, they're good."
"Well, I suppose if Pete tried them," Chandler said sarcastically, grabbing a muffin roughly.
Monica blinked, obviously taken aback by Chandler's surly demeanour. "Um…ok then, I'm going now…" she set down the tray on the football table. "I'll leave this batch with you Joey…at least you like them." She walked out, shutting the door firmly behind her.
Joey whistled softly and turned to Chandler in surprise. "So…it's Pete that's bothering you, huh?"
Chandler groaned. "Did I just speak to Monica like I hated her?" he asked aloud, "Why did I do that?"
"I knew it," Joey said, shaking his head. He sat down next to Chandler and patted his shoulder. "This explains the endless one night stands with the girls, the getting drunk every night ritual…you're in love with Monica."
Chandler looked at Joey miserably, "How did you know?" he asked quietly.
"I see the look on your face every time someone mentions Pete," Joey said meaningfully, "It's like torture…you look like you're dying."
"I am," Chandler said, desperately wanting to tell Joey the truth.
"You feel like that now but it will get better, I promise," Joey said comfortingly. "I understand."
"No, no…you don't understand Joey!" Chandler cried out in frustration, standing up and walking over to his bedroom door. "You don't understand at all." He walked in and slammed the door behind him.
****
"I don't know what's got into him."
"He's in love, that's all I can say really."
"In love? Who with?"
Chandler walked into the coffee house hearing familiar voices coming from the couch. It was Phoebe and Joey, obviously in deep discussion…about him.
"You know, I'd appreciate the concern but I'm fine," he said forcefully as he sat down in a chair to the left of the couch.
"Who are you in love with Chandler?" Phoebe asked sympathetically.
"Monica," Joey answered, getting a glare from Chandler.
"Monica?!"
"Shh, keep your voice down!" Chandler hissed, his eyes darting around the building.
"You've finally admitted you're in love Monica?" Phoebe asked in amazement, "It's about time!"
"You're a one to talk," Chandler said, looking at her meaningfully.
Phoebe blushed as Joey looked at her curiously.
"So, are you going to tell her?" Phoebe now asked, going back to the main topic of conversation.
"No," Chandler said immediately.
"Why the hell not?"
"She's with Pete, that's why!" Chandler exclaimed, looking at her as though it was obvious.
"So? If Monica knew how you felt, she'd drop Pete in a second!"
"She would?" Chandler whispered.
Phoebe exchanged an amused glance with Joey and rolled her eyes. "Monica will have just got back from her lunch date with Pete, go and see her…now."
"Now?" Chandler panicked, "I look a mess! I'm wearing the same clothes I wore last night. I haven't showered…"
"Eww, you haven't showered?" Joey wrinkled his nose.
"No time for that," Phoebe said decisively, "You might lose your bottle if you stop to do other stuff. Go see her now! Sweep her off her feet!" she grinned.
"Ok, I can do that!" Chandler stood up hurriedly, feeling a spark in him that he hadn't had in a long time. He smiled gratefully at his friends and rushed out of the coffee house.
He walked through the streets and went inside in his building and rushed up the stairs. Mr Treeger, the live-in super, looked after him in astonishment. "Where's the fire?" he yelled, getting no reply.
Chandler stopped outside Apartment 20 and breathed hard. He hadn't run like that for months. He closed his eyes, trying to get his composure as he prepared to do the most important thing he was ever likely to do in his life. It was ironic that if he didn't do this, he wasn't going to have a life soon anyway. What did he have to lose?
His pride.
Trying to shove that thought away, Chandler pushed open the door and walked into the spacious apartment he had grown to love. To his dismay, he saw Monica and Pete sitting at the kitchen table, holding hands.
"Oh…Chandler," Monica said, looking startled.
"Chandler!" Pete greeted jovially, "Good timing! We were going to call you and the rest of your friends up here anytime now!"
"Really?" Chandler asked curiously.
"Yes, Monica and I have got an announcement to make!" Chandler tried not to scowl as he watched Pete squeeze Monica's hand affectionately.
"Oh yes?"
"Pete, I thought we agreed we were going to keep this to ourselves for a while!" Monica said urgently, throwing a worried look in Chandler's direction.
"Oh come on, we might as well tell him now that he's here, right?" Pete grinned at Chandler, who smiled painfully back.
"What's going on?" Chandler demanded. He studied the look on Monica's face; it wore an expression of anxiety and unhappiness.
"Monica and I are engaged!" Pete announced joyfully.
Chandler felt like he had been kicked in the guts. Engaged?
"That's…that's great," he finally replied, forcing a smile.
"Really?" Monica asked, looking desperately at him.
Chandler nodded. The spark that had built inside him in the coffee house faded away like an old firework in the sky. He felt drained, devastated…but he knew he must appear happy. "Sure, but…isn't it a little fast?" he asked now.
"Well, yeah but if you're in love what's to wait for?" Pete asked, shrugging, "huh, Mon?"
Chandler tried hard not to wince at the nickname Pete had given Monica. It was the name he called her.
"Sure," Monica answered quietly, looking down at the floor and avoiding Chandler's eyes.
****
"Engaged?" Ross asked, stunned. He sat down on the chair, staring at Monica and Pete with a mixture of anger and happiness.
The group were settled around the apartment half an hour later. Phoebe and Joey were sitting on the couch, darting Chandler nervous looks. He was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the sink counter with his arms folded. He felt like he had just died all over again. He felt he might as well tell Bob right then, right now, to take him back to heaven.
"Yeah, isn't it great?" Monica asked brightly. Phoebe and Joey exchanged glances and nodded slightly at each other. Only they could see that Monica definitely did not think it was great. She hadn't kept her eyes off Chandler since they had all entered the room.
"Congratulations Monica!" Rachel squealed, giving her friend a long hug.
"Thank Rachel," Monica said back, smiling thinly.
"Well, you're both crazy but I guess it's your decision." Ross said, smiling genuinely. "You're obviously very much in love." He hugged his sister tight.
"Yeah, you should always marry the people you love," Phoebe said, staring at Monica pointedly.
Chandler shook his head and walked over closer to the group. "Congratulations Monica," he said softly, the pain of saying it almost breaking his heart in two.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Hug her for gods' sake!" Ross said cheerfully.
Chandler pulled Monica into a hug and they wrapped their arms around each other tight. "I'm happy if you're happy," he whispered in her ear.
He pulled back and looked away, sneaking a look at Joey who nodded at him sympathetically.
"We have got to have a party!" Rachel exclaimed happily, grabbing the phone. "Let's call everyone we know!"
"Wait, Rachel, I don't know if I want…" Monica started to say before Pete interrupted.
"That's a great idea Rachel, there's no better way to express the love Monica and I have. What do you think Chandler?"
To Chandler, the question seemed challenging. He could see the coolness in Pete's eyes as he looked at him. Pete knew he was a threat, he could see that. "Don't look at me, this is your engagement." He replied. There was no way he was going to give the idiot the satisfaction of giving an answer.
"A party it is then," Rachel said, smiling excitedly.
****
"What do you think Chandler?" Chandler mocked to himself as he poured himself another glass of punch. "I tell you what I think…" he kicked at a chair near the kitchen table and winced. That hurt, but he didn't care.
The party had been in full swing for a couple of hours. It disgusted Chandler to see Pete kiss-assing his friends…even Gunther, the quiet waiter from the coffee house, seemed to be taken in by him.
"Great party," the blonde headed man commented as he walked up to Chandler.
"If you think so," Chandler muttered.
"You ok?" Gunther looked at him worriedly.
"Sure, top of the world." Chandler gritted his teeth as he saw Pete laughing loudly over an inside joke with Ross. That fake laugh irritated him so much. At least Janice's was genuine.
"Glad somebody is," Gunther said, "The soon-to-be bride sure isn't."
Chandler's head snapped back to Gunther. "What?" he asked.
"She's out in the hallway crying her eyes out," Gunther explained, gesturing to the closed door. "Maybe you should see if she's ok."
Chandler quickly put down his punch and opened the door. He stepped outside and gently shut it behind him. On the steps he saw Monica sitting down with her head in her hands, sobbing hard.
"Mon?" Chandler called softly, attracting her attention. She looked up at him and smiled weakly.
"What's up?" he asked, sitting down next to her.
"Nothing," she muttered, wiping her eyes. "Nothing…really."
"Sure," Chandler said sceptically, "because every woman spends her engagement party sitting out in the hallway crying."
"It's just…it's all happening so fast," Monica said tearfully.
"Then why are you doing it?" Chandler demanded.
"Because Pete loves me, that's why!" Monica shot at him, standing up abruptly.
"And do you love him?" Chandler whispered, staring up into her eyes.
"Of…of course I do," Monica stuttered, staring back at him, "He is kind and sweet, and he loves me. Not many guys I know have felt that way about me. I can't do better than him."
"That's ridiculous Mon!" Chandler snorted and stood up, so he was level with Monica's head, only centimetres away. "You can do so much better than him." He held eye contact with her.
"Kiss me Chandler," Monica whispered.
Chandler widened his eyes. "What?" he asked, "You're…you're engaged!"
"I don't care. I want you to kiss me. I need someone to comfort me…right here, right now." She stroked his cheek and reached up to kiss him gently on the lips.
Chandler felt himself responding to the kiss and, before they both knew what they were doing, they were in a full passionate embrace. He ran his fingers through her hair…she ran her hands over his shoulders. They clung desperately to each other, neither wanting the moment to end.
"Chandler," Monica moaned in between kisses, "We've…got to…stop."
Chandler pulled away reluctantly and they stared at each other, both breathing hard and aroused. The apartment door opened and they saw Rachel peek her head out.
"There you are!" she exclaimed, "what are you two doing out here? There's a full party in swing!"
"We were just coming Rach," Chandler said quietly, darting a nervous look at Monica.
Rachel shrugged, "Ok, come on then!" she gestured inside and the pair followed.
****
"That was some kiss," Bob said, smiling wryly.
Chandler rolled his eyes at the amused expression on the spirit's face. "Yeah well…" he shrugged.
"So, are you ready to tell her your feelings yet?" Bob inquired.
Chandler shot a wounded look at Bob, "I was going to," he said desperately, "but then she and Pete said they are going to get married."
"Monica is only marrying Pete because she thinks she can't have you." Bob pointed out.
Chandler only shrugged in response and smiled sadly.
"There is still time left," Bob said gently, "You have five months."
"Two months," Chandler corrected him, "In October Monica is marrying Pete."
"You have five months left on Earth to tell Monica," Bob told him firmly, "I expect you to use that time wisely."
"If you think I'm sticking around down there after Monica and Pete are married you've got another thing coming!" Chandler said angrily.
Bob shrugged, "Fine, have it your way. Two months it is. You have until the morning of Monica's wedding. October 10th 10.04am."
"Fine by me," Chandler said shortly, "At least I won't have to watch them say their vows."
Bob shook his head and sighed. "Just tell her Chandler," he said simply.
Chandler just sighed and looked away.
End of Chapter 4
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