Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Tokyo Babylon, but that doesn't mean she can't mess with the characters.
Calendar Boy
By Miyamoto Yui
Part 5 - mistakes written in blood.
The door closed behind him as the song ended with my silence echoing louder than any karaoke machine at that moment. I looked at my hands, and then at the screen.
Would it be too late to run after him...
Stupid, Subaru.
You wouldn't do this for anyone else!
I found myself opening the door and running out with the click-clack of my slippers. But, so many things were crowding my ears that when a door opened, I shouted, "Sumi..."
"...masen!" I finished as I found myself on top of a blond, young man who looked up at me with swirly eyes. "Ano ne..." the blond said.
"I'm so sorry!" I bowed my head with his hands still on the sides of the young boy's head. I blushed as I scrambled to his feet.
I pulled the disoriented boy and looked from side to side as I knocked on the karaoke room the guy had come out of.
The door opened. A handsome, black-haired boy with glasses looks at me with a grim expression.
"Eep..." I think as I sputtered, "I'm so sorry, but I bumped into your friend because I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
He lifted up his hand and shook his head. Instead of getting upset, he grunted and muttered, "Figures."
But with affection in his eyes, he took the blond into his care and said, "Thanks."
I bowed my head and left them.
As I paid the woman in the front, I looked at my gloves again. "That black-haired boy's hands are special too..."
"Here is your change. Please have a good night," the girl said behind the counter.
"Thank you."
"Come back again!" she said as I bowed my head and left.
As I got to one corner, nothing but the click clack of my slippers could be heard. Or rather, that was all that I wanted to pay attention to.
"Where did you go, Seishirou-san?" I mumbled worriedly to myself.
"Don't you ever stoop to a pathetic woman's style!" Hokuto had shouted at me once. "You must have the person run after you, but not you after them!"
This is different...isn't it?
That's what I wanted to learn. And that's what I wanted to believe.
I had decide if it was all true.
He had to tell me if it could be.
I sighed as I found my reflection running inconsistently through windows of shops, not caring that I was a strange boy running around destructive Tokyo. At an hour that wasn't so friendly, especially to me.
The stillness and chaos of the night made me apprehensive.
Anyone would have given up, but I found myself pursuing someone that I had broken because of my insecurity.
Did he truly believe in what he said to me?
I couldn't look at him whenever he did that.
I was ashamed.
"Seishirou-san..." I trailed off as I huffed and puffed through the lights trying to avoid being targeted.
It would be rude of me to say that I had never been approached before...
But it seemed that the appeal of Hokuto's beautiful kimono was making people crazy as they looked at me with hungry eyes.
Some drunk, some not.
I would have never known this look...
...but he looked at me that way.
As if I had no abnormalities...
That we weren't both men...
That the odds weren't against us...
That was a part of me that Seishirou had in my heart.
All figured out in a night of running and bumping into things...
Accidentally or not...
I found myself in front of his clinic to find it lit. As I was about to knock on the door, it opened before me and there was Seishirou smiling at me.
I sat in my usual seat as he had his back towards me while trying to make coffee. "How did you end up here?" he asked me as I sat silently.
"I just found myself here." I also add in a bittersweet tone, "It must be fate."
I fold my arms and lean my head on the table.
What could I say to him? Especially when he caught me off-guard by smiling at me rather than looking dejected and serious as he had earlier that evening.
For a moment, I felt more alone that I could have ever felt.
It was a familiar feeling that I never liked to show or tell anyone. Not even Hokuto-chan herself. She would lecture me, but inwardly scold herself by not being able to help me.
It wasn't her fault.
I tried to tell her this, but even until she dies, I don't think she'll ever believe me...
Seishirou was silent as I heard him bustle about the room making the coffee and get charts to get in some work. Of course, he has his job too.
I don't know how he could always just drop everything for me.
I looked up at him and then I found my eyes glazing the floor and finding themselves on the white table before me. I sat in this room with my gloves folded before me as my head was bent down. It looked like as if I were praying. Actually, it was something quite the opposite.
Hokuto must have been worrying about where we are, isn't she? And here I was stuck in the middle of the night with my eyes adjusting to the darkness and back to where there was light, in Seishirou's clinic.
How ironic that must be.
I had wondered why I always had this type of problem.
I thought too much. That was why.
There was a feeling locked deep inside of my heart. It was as if it were going to consume me alive and I couldn't do anything but sit here silently while I gulped.
This wasn't the first time I had thought of things that led to things that weren't healthy.
The only reason I had stopped each time was my sister.
Hokuto was in my way...
I didn't know how she made a barricade, but I think it was my own weakness for her. She had loved me like no other sister for her brother. And for me to reject these feelings would kill her.
She always wanted to feel needed.
I then looked at my gloves. While opening and closing my hands, I lifted them off the table and my eyes became wide.
"Oh my god..." I mumbled to myself in shock.
When will it ever end?
And if I ever go, who will take over?
Someone else would take this position of mine. In actuality, someone would be forced again to my position. Out of obligation, I had no choice but to agree.
Yet, it weighed inside of me.
"Stop worrying so much about others," she keeps on telling me as she holds me as if I were going to break if she let go.
I always say nothing to her, but look at this face that has the same features as mine.
But I couldn't stop worrying...
There were so many people out there. And I was only one person.
If there was no one to comfort them, it might as well be me...
Nor would I forget them.
Even if they forgot me.
I was just a dream to them each time. Someone who passed the time with them and then I was gone since it seemed too strange in the first place.
But where would I go when I needed comfort? There was no one.
I had already burdened you, Hokuto-chan.
I couldn't ask you to smile for me when I knew you tried to hide your feelings from me. The ones that told me, "I can't tell you, Subaru."
The same ones I told myself, "If I told you, it would hurt you, Hokuto-chan."
I couldn't tell her that in a midst of people, I was all alone.
Once people knew what you did, they would become scared or interested like little children playing a game.
I didn't want to be close to people.
I wasn't always shy.
I was just scared of...of...
I glanced at Seishirou while my chaotic thoughts were swarming inside my head and my heart. I was scared and out of my honest I immediately grabbed a napkin on the opposite side of me.
"Subaru?" Seishirou asked as he walked towards me with a worried expression.
In my agitated state, I gasped as his shoes tapped upon the floor while coming towards me.
Tap, tap, tap...
"Don't come near me," I found myself saying.
I don't know how I looked at moment, but I was shaking.
You are my special one...
And I don't want you to see me in another light...
He stopped walking as he stood at the opposite side of the room. Calmly, he said, "Subaru? What is wrong?"
At that moment, I put my gloves in back of me as I shook my head.
"Please leave me alone," I told him without looking at him. "I shouldn't have come here after all."
"You were right to leave-"
Tap, tap, tap.
"No, Seishirou-san...
He came closer and closer to me. I shook my head as I got up from my seat. "I'll be leaving now. I will talk with you later."
"Subaru...what's wrong?" He asked as he raised his arm and caught mine.
Pulling my arm, his eyes became slits as he saw my gloves...
My hands were dripping blood...
"What were you doing?!" he shouted at me as he pulled me towards the bathroom. "I wouldn't have expected this-"
"No one ever expects anything like this from me…" I trailed off as I sat on the toilet bowl while Seishirou wiped both of my gloves.
I had scraped tried to them...
Almost as if I was trying to scratch away the mark...
The star that told me that I was running out of time.
It also reminded me that I wasn't ordinary. I wouldn't ever be able to live life like a normal human being.
"Why?!" he asked me as he pulled my arms with a firm grip. His eyes searched into mine and for the first time, I had gotten him truly upset with me.
I looked at him blankly.
"It was just your birthday a few weeks ago, Subaru," he reminded me as his eyes searched into mine for a reason.
"How do you look at me, Seishirou?" I asked him desparately. "Do you seem me as an omyouji, a human, or a demon?"
"Even you couldn't help her..." that girl's voice kept on taunting. A job that had led me so scarred inside and I couldn't tell anyone because it didn't have such a happy ending.
Tears started to come out of my eyes. "Answer me, Seishirou."
He blinked at me trying to hold his tongue.
"Answer me!" I gripped onto his collar and then searched his eyes again in desparation. Left and right, right and left, my eyes looked at him as my hands found themselves on his cheeks. "Why won't you answer me?"
I started to sob as I let go. Then, I looked away as I was getting up.
He caught my hand as I opened my eyes in surprise. He began to kiss my gloves again, licking away the new blood that began to spill out of me.
I wanted to pull away, but then, he took me into his arms and sat me upon the table. As he whispered to my ear, "You are the devil for making me question the way I am."
Pulling on my kimono, he kissed my shoulder blade and said, "You are an omnyouji that cares too much about his clients."
The kimono was pulled as it fell on my elbows.
Without shame, he kissed the skin over my heart as he told me, "And I fell in love with this person because of these things."
I blushed as I looked at him. He then pulled me close to him while wrapping his arms around me.
And for a while, we stayed that way with silent words that temporarily eased my mind.
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: I am sorry for the month hiatus. I didn't plan on it, but I was working so hard with my graduation and graduate school things as well as teaching and school itself with working.
The pace will pick up though. I just need the time to invest into my fanfics. That's one thing I can never truly have. Though, I wish not to rush.
Right now, I was listening to 'Melodies of Life' in English as I wrote the fic. Ah, how much I love beautiful Subaru. His feelings are so fragile and yet I'm trying to bring out a side that couldn't be found in the manga. As to if I am successful in this venture, we'll see.
Okee, done with this angsty arc and moving onto the comedy!
Preview:
"Where have you guys been?" Hokuto asked as she shouted at me with her arms on her hips while tapping her foot.
Then, her angry face became angelic and all smiley when she suddenly hugged me. "Finally Subaru!"
"Huh?" I blinked at her in confusion.
When she let go, she pointed at something: Seishirou's collar...with lipstick on it.
I turned bright red as Seishirou smirked with no defense for me.
"B-but it's not what you think!" I protested.
"Say what you want, Subaru." She waved her hand and closed the door behind her while I tried to reach out for her.
"D-demo!"
Calendar Boy
By Miyamoto Yui
Part 5 - mistakes written in blood.
The door closed behind him as the song ended with my silence echoing louder than any karaoke machine at that moment. I looked at my hands, and then at the screen.
Would it be too late to run after him...
Stupid, Subaru.
You wouldn't do this for anyone else!
I found myself opening the door and running out with the click-clack of my slippers. But, so many things were crowding my ears that when a door opened, I shouted, "Sumi..."
"...masen!" I finished as I found myself on top of a blond, young man who looked up at me with swirly eyes. "Ano ne..." the blond said.
"I'm so sorry!" I bowed my head with his hands still on the sides of the young boy's head. I blushed as I scrambled to his feet.
I pulled the disoriented boy and looked from side to side as I knocked on the karaoke room the guy had come out of.
The door opened. A handsome, black-haired boy with glasses looks at me with a grim expression.
"Eep..." I think as I sputtered, "I'm so sorry, but I bumped into your friend because I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
He lifted up his hand and shook his head. Instead of getting upset, he grunted and muttered, "Figures."
But with affection in his eyes, he took the blond into his care and said, "Thanks."
I bowed my head and left them.
As I paid the woman in the front, I looked at my gloves again. "That black-haired boy's hands are special too..."
"Here is your change. Please have a good night," the girl said behind the counter.
"Thank you."
"Come back again!" she said as I bowed my head and left.
As I got to one corner, nothing but the click clack of my slippers could be heard. Or rather, that was all that I wanted to pay attention to.
"Where did you go, Seishirou-san?" I mumbled worriedly to myself.
"Don't you ever stoop to a pathetic woman's style!" Hokuto had shouted at me once. "You must have the person run after you, but not you after them!"
This is different...isn't it?
That's what I wanted to learn. And that's what I wanted to believe.
I had decide if it was all true.
He had to tell me if it could be.
I sighed as I found my reflection running inconsistently through windows of shops, not caring that I was a strange boy running around destructive Tokyo. At an hour that wasn't so friendly, especially to me.
The stillness and chaos of the night made me apprehensive.
Anyone would have given up, but I found myself pursuing someone that I had broken because of my insecurity.
Did he truly believe in what he said to me?
I couldn't look at him whenever he did that.
I was ashamed.
"Seishirou-san..." I trailed off as I huffed and puffed through the lights trying to avoid being targeted.
It would be rude of me to say that I had never been approached before...
But it seemed that the appeal of Hokuto's beautiful kimono was making people crazy as they looked at me with hungry eyes.
Some drunk, some not.
I would have never known this look...
...but he looked at me that way.
As if I had no abnormalities...
That we weren't both men...
That the odds weren't against us...
That was a part of me that Seishirou had in my heart.
All figured out in a night of running and bumping into things...
Accidentally or not...
I found myself in front of his clinic to find it lit. As I was about to knock on the door, it opened before me and there was Seishirou smiling at me.
I sat in my usual seat as he had his back towards me while trying to make coffee. "How did you end up here?" he asked me as I sat silently.
"I just found myself here." I also add in a bittersweet tone, "It must be fate."
I fold my arms and lean my head on the table.
What could I say to him? Especially when he caught me off-guard by smiling at me rather than looking dejected and serious as he had earlier that evening.
For a moment, I felt more alone that I could have ever felt.
It was a familiar feeling that I never liked to show or tell anyone. Not even Hokuto-chan herself. She would lecture me, but inwardly scold herself by not being able to help me.
It wasn't her fault.
I tried to tell her this, but even until she dies, I don't think she'll ever believe me...
Seishirou was silent as I heard him bustle about the room making the coffee and get charts to get in some work. Of course, he has his job too.
I don't know how he could always just drop everything for me.
I looked up at him and then I found my eyes glazing the floor and finding themselves on the white table before me. I sat in this room with my gloves folded before me as my head was bent down. It looked like as if I were praying. Actually, it was something quite the opposite.
Hokuto must have been worrying about where we are, isn't she? And here I was stuck in the middle of the night with my eyes adjusting to the darkness and back to where there was light, in Seishirou's clinic.
How ironic that must be.
I had wondered why I always had this type of problem.
I thought too much. That was why.
There was a feeling locked deep inside of my heart. It was as if it were going to consume me alive and I couldn't do anything but sit here silently while I gulped.
This wasn't the first time I had thought of things that led to things that weren't healthy.
The only reason I had stopped each time was my sister.
Hokuto was in my way...
I didn't know how she made a barricade, but I think it was my own weakness for her. She had loved me like no other sister for her brother. And for me to reject these feelings would kill her.
She always wanted to feel needed.
I then looked at my gloves. While opening and closing my hands, I lifted them off the table and my eyes became wide.
"Oh my god..." I mumbled to myself in shock.
When will it ever end?
And if I ever go, who will take over?
Someone else would take this position of mine. In actuality, someone would be forced again to my position. Out of obligation, I had no choice but to agree.
Yet, it weighed inside of me.
"Stop worrying so much about others," she keeps on telling me as she holds me as if I were going to break if she let go.
I always say nothing to her, but look at this face that has the same features as mine.
But I couldn't stop worrying...
There were so many people out there. And I was only one person.
If there was no one to comfort them, it might as well be me...
Nor would I forget them.
Even if they forgot me.
I was just a dream to them each time. Someone who passed the time with them and then I was gone since it seemed too strange in the first place.
But where would I go when I needed comfort? There was no one.
I had already burdened you, Hokuto-chan.
I couldn't ask you to smile for me when I knew you tried to hide your feelings from me. The ones that told me, "I can't tell you, Subaru."
The same ones I told myself, "If I told you, it would hurt you, Hokuto-chan."
I couldn't tell her that in a midst of people, I was all alone.
Once people knew what you did, they would become scared or interested like little children playing a game.
I didn't want to be close to people.
I wasn't always shy.
I was just scared of...of...
I glanced at Seishirou while my chaotic thoughts were swarming inside my head and my heart. I was scared and out of my honest I immediately grabbed a napkin on the opposite side of me.
"Subaru?" Seishirou asked as he walked towards me with a worried expression.
In my agitated state, I gasped as his shoes tapped upon the floor while coming towards me.
Tap, tap, tap...
"Don't come near me," I found myself saying.
I don't know how I looked at moment, but I was shaking.
You are my special one...
And I don't want you to see me in another light...
He stopped walking as he stood at the opposite side of the room. Calmly, he said, "Subaru? What is wrong?"
At that moment, I put my gloves in back of me as I shook my head.
"Please leave me alone," I told him without looking at him. "I shouldn't have come here after all."
"You were right to leave-"
Tap, tap, tap.
"No, Seishirou-san...
He came closer and closer to me. I shook my head as I got up from my seat. "I'll be leaving now. I will talk with you later."
"Subaru...what's wrong?" He asked as he raised his arm and caught mine.
Pulling my arm, his eyes became slits as he saw my gloves...
My hands were dripping blood...
"What were you doing?!" he shouted at me as he pulled me towards the bathroom. "I wouldn't have expected this-"
"No one ever expects anything like this from me…" I trailed off as I sat on the toilet bowl while Seishirou wiped both of my gloves.
I had scraped tried to them...
Almost as if I was trying to scratch away the mark...
The star that told me that I was running out of time.
It also reminded me that I wasn't ordinary. I wouldn't ever be able to live life like a normal human being.
"Why?!" he asked me as he pulled my arms with a firm grip. His eyes searched into mine and for the first time, I had gotten him truly upset with me.
I looked at him blankly.
"It was just your birthday a few weeks ago, Subaru," he reminded me as his eyes searched into mine for a reason.
"How do you look at me, Seishirou?" I asked him desparately. "Do you seem me as an omyouji, a human, or a demon?"
"Even you couldn't help her..." that girl's voice kept on taunting. A job that had led me so scarred inside and I couldn't tell anyone because it didn't have such a happy ending.
Tears started to come out of my eyes. "Answer me, Seishirou."
He blinked at me trying to hold his tongue.
"Answer me!" I gripped onto his collar and then searched his eyes again in desparation. Left and right, right and left, my eyes looked at him as my hands found themselves on his cheeks. "Why won't you answer me?"
I started to sob as I let go. Then, I looked away as I was getting up.
He caught my hand as I opened my eyes in surprise. He began to kiss my gloves again, licking away the new blood that began to spill out of me.
I wanted to pull away, but then, he took me into his arms and sat me upon the table. As he whispered to my ear, "You are the devil for making me question the way I am."
Pulling on my kimono, he kissed my shoulder blade and said, "You are an omnyouji that cares too much about his clients."
The kimono was pulled as it fell on my elbows.
Without shame, he kissed the skin over my heart as he told me, "And I fell in love with this person because of these things."
I blushed as I looked at him. He then pulled me close to him while wrapping his arms around me.
And for a while, we stayed that way with silent words that temporarily eased my mind.
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: I am sorry for the month hiatus. I didn't plan on it, but I was working so hard with my graduation and graduate school things as well as teaching and school itself with working.
The pace will pick up though. I just need the time to invest into my fanfics. That's one thing I can never truly have. Though, I wish not to rush.
Right now, I was listening to 'Melodies of Life' in English as I wrote the fic. Ah, how much I love beautiful Subaru. His feelings are so fragile and yet I'm trying to bring out a side that couldn't be found in the manga. As to if I am successful in this venture, we'll see.
Okee, done with this angsty arc and moving onto the comedy!
Preview:
"Where have you guys been?" Hokuto asked as she shouted at me with her arms on her hips while tapping her foot.
Then, her angry face became angelic and all smiley when she suddenly hugged me. "Finally Subaru!"
"Huh?" I blinked at her in confusion.
When she let go, she pointed at something: Seishirou's collar...with lipstick on it.
I turned bright red as Seishirou smirked with no defense for me.
"B-but it's not what you think!" I protested.
"Say what you want, Subaru." She waved her hand and closed the door behind her while I tried to reach out for her.
"D-demo!"