WELCOME YET AGAIN TO ANOTHER CHAPTER OF......
...RANDOM HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS THAT SAY RANODM SHIT!!!!
(Thanx to all my reviewers! I'll keep updatin, as long as you keep reading & reviewing!!)
I am your host, "Jasmine", or commonly known as Admiral J! This Episode will be where yes---the trapped characters and I will have a talk show! The "HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN A HUFFLEPUFF DORMITORY!" Talk Show!!! Live, from yes-- -you guessed it! THE HUFFLEPUFF DORMITORIES!!! b (also in this chapter: we take an inside look at the Diaries of the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit!!! And we've got the dirt on them!)/b
Eliminated aka Murdered the Last Round were: Lockhart, Hagrid, And Lavender
Remaining are: Draco, A Dementor, James Potter, Hermione, Molly
Weasley, Snape, McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Dumbledore, and Sirius Black. And of course the, er---how can we say it?-------The disabled Voldemort!
LETS GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD!
~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~
Chapter Four-Trapped in Dorms and The Diaries of....
Admiral J: [Sits down on four-poster bed] WELCOME! To the RANDOM HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS THAT SAY RANODM SHIT offical Talk Show. We will hear from contestants (aka, those trapped in this dorm) about their personal lives, and you may get an inside scoop on the characters you thought you knew!
Remmie: YOU FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!
Admiral J: Do you really think I care?
Remmie: I'll sue you!
Admiral J: Fine Fine! DISCLAIMER: If I don't say that JK Rowling owns all of these characters, then Remus Lupin, here, will file a lawsuit on me! So there...I said it!
Remmie: Much better. Procede with the show.
Admiral J: Our first guest here tonight, is none other than the allmighty king of Yougurt flavored Walruses!!!!! Yes Ladys and Gentlemen...Give a big hand for Draco Malfoy!!!!!!
[Draco walks out, from the crowd of Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit, and sits next to Admiral on the bed]
Admiral J: Pleasure to have you on the show today, your highness!
Draco:
Contigo mi vida
Quiero vivir la vida
Y lo que me queda de vida,
Quiero vivir contigo
Contigo mi vida
Quiero vivir la vida
Y lo que me queda de vida,
Quiero vivir contigo
Severus: What in the name of hell was that???
Draco: Shakira's song.Whenever Wherever, in spanish.
Sevvie: riiight.
Admiral: So..Dracey Boy...i hear its true that you've been having premartial sex with ping pong tables!!!!?!??!!
Crowd of Shocked Draco fanatics: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Draco: Yes that's right. Theyre sexay!
Admrial J: Okay Draco.you sick boy. Will you be the bridesmaid at my wedding?
Draco: Sure
Admiral J: OKAY LETS HAVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR DRACO KATHERINE MALFOY!!!
Draco: My middle name is not Katherine!
Admiral J: Take this boy away.
Sirius: HEYYYY I'M BORED! I don't want to listen to a bunch of Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit hang around and talk about nonsense that you make them say!
Admiral J: Sorry Black, but my sister here, who read my fanfic said I make you talk too much, and I should give other characters a chance.
Sirius: And you're going to listen to her?!?!?!
Admiral J: For the time being. Sorry, buddy
Albus: So.that's it? No more talk show! We're just going to sit here STUCK WITH YOU, and talk random shit at your will?
~*~*~*~And That's been All for "HELP! I'm Stuck in A Hufflepuff Dormitory!" Live.From a Hufflepuff Dormitory!~*~*~*
~*~
Now More Random Conversations with the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit, Courtesy of Me!
Sirius: Can you please unsilence me now!
Admriral J: What the Fuck!!!???!?!?! How'd you manage to talk!
A Dementor: Hey sexy, why your managing to speak even though the Author cleary said you couldn't..I was wondering.would you like to go to the Three Broomsticks and snog, Siri-pooh?
Hermione: Awe Dementor.That's wrong. That's Just Wrong!
Sirius: I second that. Which is in other words..No Fucking way. [Looks sad] Beards?
Admiral J: THAT'S IT! NO TALKING UNTIL THE END, YOU HEAR THAT BLACK!!! Bloody Hell!
Ron Weasley: Hey! Bitch! That's my signature phrase. Nobody can say bloody hell except for me!
Admiral J: BLOODY HELL BLOODY HELL!!!
Ron Weasley: Sorry =( I'm just a little girl named Poppy who can't find her Easter Basket!!!!
[Ron Dissapears]
Voldie: I just realized, now that Hagrids dead, I got my MOJO bABY!...Hey Everybody! LETS GO STREAKING!!!!!!!!
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: NO!
Voldie: Oh wait---I forgot. I don't have any genitals anymore. [Cries then winces in pain]
Remmie: Addy.You need to add more Umph (or is it spelled OOMPH or OOMF?) to your fanfic, something different than the rest. [Turns to readers] ANY IDEAS!
Admiral J: Well I'll call all of you by hugely annoying pet names until you get sick of it, how does that sound Remmie-roo!
Remmie-roo: I really wish you wouldn't.
James Potter: Hey we should play a game guys!!!
Voldie: POKEMON!
Hermione: YOU ARE SUCH A LAME ASS. DAMNIT, YOU MOTHER FUCKER, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WIT YOU, BITCH? CAN"T HANDLE THIS SHIT, FUCKER?
Dumbly: Can we play another game? [Eyes twinkle!]
Admiral J: [Ponders] No. [Summons a large trunk] In this trunk, is the diarys of all the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit. Yes.Their personal diaries. Lets take a look at them, shall we?
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Picks up a leather brown journal which had inscribed, James Potter at the top in gold ink] Admiral J: Victim number one.James Potter !!!!!!
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit (EXCEPT JAMES): [Laughter]
*******************************************
Date: February 3, 1981
Dear Diary,
I'm going through a very hard time in my life, I've found that I indeed get PMS and need to use ..um yes...Tampons. I am ashamed to admit this to even you, diary, for this matter makes me feel like a Loony Toons character on the front porch of some wealthy man's house. I feel confused, and mangled inside, and I KNOW I want to marry Carl, but he just doesn't feel the same way back. (Actually...i've come to realize, I don't**know** anybody named Carl) But, I still want to be with him, there is a intense passion...Shit, I gotta go change my tampon now. I'll write later, Diary.
*******************************************
[All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit ROARED with laughter, (cept for james, who turned around and hit a package of Easy Glide Tampons behind his back) and then I picked the next contestant and smile mischeivously] bAlbus Dumbledore./b
*******************************************
Date: September 4, 1745
Dear Most Precious Diary,
Today was my first day at Durmstrang Wizarding school, and I am eager to begin my service with Lord Voldemort. I personally think he is very....Shagadellic. On the other hand however, I am such an old geezer, that he wasn't even born the day this was written. I have also found out that I am somewhat of a God with the Ladies. I am also a proud sacrifice of the Egyptian Sun God, Amon Re, and wish to be caught dead in a Hawian patterened string bikini.
Much Love, Albusy
*******************************************
Sirius: HAHAHAHAHA! Ablusy, in a bikini! ....... Ladies named Vinnie!!!! HA HA HA!!! VINNIE!
Admiral J: I told you not to talk until the end. Tisk Tisk, Sirius! Fine.Then I guess I'll have to read YOUR Diary. Ladies and Gentlemen, I now proudly present; The Diary of Sirius Black!
Sirius: SHIT!
*******************************************
Date: May 34, 1982
Dear Edgar,
Today will be my first entry writing in you diary, so therefore I decided to give you a name. Edgar. (Yes! Its perfectly normal to name your diary!) But I'm not joking here, I have given serious thought (yes, I realize that is a name pun) into joining a convent. I haven't told Moony, Padfoot (oh wait...that's me) or Prongs about this burning desire. And theres no fucken way im telling Wormtail, because I know he'll betray us in the future and send me to Azkaban. Anyway.It may sound crazy, but I **KNOW** it is my calling to be a nun. Plus, I think I'd look rather attractive in one of those habbits..Hey, maybe if I'm super de dooper lucky I can get Snivellus to join the convent with me, and we can live happily ever after in celebacy until we die! Thanks for Listening Edgar,
Love Always XoXo, Padfoot.
*******************************************
At this entry Siri had turned a bright shade of red and was occupied himself instead by looking through a magazine that said "The Obsessors Guide to Cattle" as the rest of the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit were laughing hysterically.
Admiral J: Okay.who's the next victim of embarassment! Ah..Molly Weasley!
Molly:
*******************************************
Date: June 2, 1986 Dear Diary: .....................
*******************************************
Draco: Riiiight. Lets read someone's diary that actually has something to say! Hey, how about we hear from Hermione!
Admiral J: Ok Ok, but this is the last one, because Admiral J has to go to some picnic with the Parental Units.
*******************************************
Date: December 25, 2009
Dear Crappy Thing that I'm Writing On;
ITS HALLOWEEN! And I have decided that the best course of action to take on this holiday would be to kill my own muggleborn parents then date Draco's father. And I did. The murder was simple you see, I sharpened a large steak knife and slit their throats, then I put on my seductive charms and seduced Luicious until he agreed that I was his bitch. Well I gotta go now, im going to hand this entry into the athorities and get myself in a shitload of trouble!
-Hermione.
*******************************************
Draco: YOU DID WHAT?!??!?!?!, YOU MUDBLOOD!
Hermione: [Giggles]
Sevvie: But what about me! You Always forget me!!! Its NOT fair. I'm going to be voted off because of you, Admiral!
Admiral: Fine, then why don't you help me and Sirius do the closing part of this chapter?
Sirius: Why do I have to!
Admiral: Because you did in the last two chapters and I'm keeping the tradition. Lets go Snivellus! Say something!
Sevvie: Oompa Loompas wear pants.
Molly Weasley:
Sirius: Okay then. Well next time when you find us in the Hufflepuff Dorms ---SINCE THE STUPID AUTHOR WONT LET US OUT.
Admiral: Now Now, Sirius, would you like me to read another entry in your Diary?
Sirius: [Blushes]
Molly Weasley:
Admiral: Like he was TRYING to say.There'll be more embarassment, more reasons to pick on them, and more random funness if you stay tuned and keep on reviewing!!! You Won't regret it.
Voldie: I miss my Trouser Snake!!!!
Sirius: Overshare. Okay, well I'm going to look into some convents nearby some cattle!
Admiral J: No your not, your stuck here remember? (A/N: REMINDER VIEWRS: R&R! Please! it would mean a lot to me and the gang!)
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Nods]
McGonagall: STOP THIS! I have an announcement. THE NEXT VOTE OFF IS NOW. You readers will have your opinions to state which character you'd like to see OFF the fic. But also do tell who you'd LIKE to see as one of the top finalists. Of course not all of your votes will be answered because it is possible they can all vary, but we'd like to hear from you anyway! The vote offresults will be announced in chapter five, (the next update!) in an ancient ceremonial way, around a bonfire. A Human Sacrifice will be made.
...RANDOM HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS THAT SAY RANODM SHIT!!!!
(Thanx to all my reviewers! I'll keep updatin, as long as you keep reading & reviewing!!)
I am your host, "Jasmine", or commonly known as Admiral J! This Episode will be where yes---the trapped characters and I will have a talk show! The "HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN A HUFFLEPUFF DORMITORY!" Talk Show!!! Live, from yes-- -you guessed it! THE HUFFLEPUFF DORMITORIES!!! b (also in this chapter: we take an inside look at the Diaries of the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit!!! And we've got the dirt on them!)/b
Eliminated aka Murdered the Last Round were: Lockhart, Hagrid, And Lavender
Remaining are: Draco, A Dementor, James Potter, Hermione, Molly
Weasley, Snape, McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Dumbledore, and Sirius Black. And of course the, er---how can we say it?-------The disabled Voldemort!
LETS GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD!
~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~
Chapter Four-Trapped in Dorms and The Diaries of....
Admiral J: [Sits down on four-poster bed] WELCOME! To the RANDOM HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS THAT SAY RANODM SHIT offical Talk Show. We will hear from contestants (aka, those trapped in this dorm) about their personal lives, and you may get an inside scoop on the characters you thought you knew!
Remmie: YOU FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!
Admiral J: Do you really think I care?
Remmie: I'll sue you!
Admiral J: Fine Fine! DISCLAIMER: If I don't say that JK Rowling owns all of these characters, then Remus Lupin, here, will file a lawsuit on me! So there...I said it!
Remmie: Much better. Procede with the show.
Admiral J: Our first guest here tonight, is none other than the allmighty king of Yougurt flavored Walruses!!!!! Yes Ladys and Gentlemen...Give a big hand for Draco Malfoy!!!!!!
[Draco walks out, from the crowd of Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit, and sits next to Admiral on the bed]
Admiral J: Pleasure to have you on the show today, your highness!
Draco:
Contigo mi vida
Quiero vivir la vida
Y lo que me queda de vida,
Quiero vivir contigo
Contigo mi vida
Quiero vivir la vida
Y lo que me queda de vida,
Quiero vivir contigo
Severus: What in the name of hell was that???
Draco: Shakira's song.Whenever Wherever, in spanish.
Sevvie: riiight.
Admiral: So..Dracey Boy...i hear its true that you've been having premartial sex with ping pong tables!!!!?!??!!
Crowd of Shocked Draco fanatics: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Draco: Yes that's right. Theyre sexay!
Admrial J: Okay Draco.you sick boy. Will you be the bridesmaid at my wedding?
Draco: Sure
Admiral J: OKAY LETS HAVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR DRACO KATHERINE MALFOY!!!
Draco: My middle name is not Katherine!
Admiral J: Take this boy away.
Sirius: HEYYYY I'M BORED! I don't want to listen to a bunch of Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit hang around and talk about nonsense that you make them say!
Admiral J: Sorry Black, but my sister here, who read my fanfic said I make you talk too much, and I should give other characters a chance.
Sirius: And you're going to listen to her?!?!?!
Admiral J: For the time being. Sorry, buddy
Albus: So.that's it? No more talk show! We're just going to sit here STUCK WITH YOU, and talk random shit at your will?
~*~*~*~And That's been All for "HELP! I'm Stuck in A Hufflepuff Dormitory!" Live.From a Hufflepuff Dormitory!~*~*~*
~*~
Now More Random Conversations with the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit, Courtesy of Me!
Sirius: Can you please unsilence me now!
Admriral J: What the Fuck!!!???!?!?! How'd you manage to talk!
A Dementor: Hey sexy, why your managing to speak even though the Author cleary said you couldn't..I was wondering.would you like to go to the Three Broomsticks and snog, Siri-pooh?
Hermione: Awe Dementor.That's wrong. That's Just Wrong!
Sirius: I second that. Which is in other words..No Fucking way. [Looks sad] Beards?
Admiral J: THAT'S IT! NO TALKING UNTIL THE END, YOU HEAR THAT BLACK!!! Bloody Hell!
Ron Weasley: Hey! Bitch! That's my signature phrase. Nobody can say bloody hell except for me!
Admiral J: BLOODY HELL BLOODY HELL!!!
Ron Weasley: Sorry =( I'm just a little girl named Poppy who can't find her Easter Basket!!!!
[Ron Dissapears]
Voldie: I just realized, now that Hagrids dead, I got my MOJO bABY!...Hey Everybody! LETS GO STREAKING!!!!!!!!
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: NO!
Voldie: Oh wait---I forgot. I don't have any genitals anymore. [Cries then winces in pain]
Remmie: Addy.You need to add more Umph (or is it spelled OOMPH or OOMF?) to your fanfic, something different than the rest. [Turns to readers] ANY IDEAS!
Admiral J: Well I'll call all of you by hugely annoying pet names until you get sick of it, how does that sound Remmie-roo!
Remmie-roo: I really wish you wouldn't.
James Potter: Hey we should play a game guys!!!
Voldie: POKEMON!
Hermione: YOU ARE SUCH A LAME ASS. DAMNIT, YOU MOTHER FUCKER, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WIT YOU, BITCH? CAN"T HANDLE THIS SHIT, FUCKER?
Dumbly: Can we play another game? [Eyes twinkle!]
Admiral J: [Ponders] No. [Summons a large trunk] In this trunk, is the diarys of all the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit. Yes.Their personal diaries. Lets take a look at them, shall we?
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Picks up a leather brown journal which had inscribed, James Potter at the top in gold ink] Admiral J: Victim number one.James Potter !!!!!!
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit (EXCEPT JAMES): [Laughter]
*******************************************
Date: February 3, 1981
Dear Diary,
I'm going through a very hard time in my life, I've found that I indeed get PMS and need to use ..um yes...Tampons. I am ashamed to admit this to even you, diary, for this matter makes me feel like a Loony Toons character on the front porch of some wealthy man's house. I feel confused, and mangled inside, and I KNOW I want to marry Carl, but he just doesn't feel the same way back. (Actually...i've come to realize, I don't**know** anybody named Carl) But, I still want to be with him, there is a intense passion...Shit, I gotta go change my tampon now. I'll write later, Diary.
*******************************************
[All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit ROARED with laughter, (cept for james, who turned around and hit a package of Easy Glide Tampons behind his back) and then I picked the next contestant and smile mischeivously] bAlbus Dumbledore./b
*******************************************
Date: September 4, 1745
Dear Most Precious Diary,
Today was my first day at Durmstrang Wizarding school, and I am eager to begin my service with Lord Voldemort. I personally think he is very....Shagadellic. On the other hand however, I am such an old geezer, that he wasn't even born the day this was written. I have also found out that I am somewhat of a God with the Ladies. I am also a proud sacrifice of the Egyptian Sun God, Amon Re, and wish to be caught dead in a Hawian patterened string bikini.
Much Love, Albusy
*******************************************
Sirius: HAHAHAHAHA! Ablusy, in a bikini! ....... Ladies named Vinnie!!!! HA HA HA!!! VINNIE!
Admiral J: I told you not to talk until the end. Tisk Tisk, Sirius! Fine.Then I guess I'll have to read YOUR Diary. Ladies and Gentlemen, I now proudly present; The Diary of Sirius Black!
Sirius: SHIT!
*******************************************
Date: May 34, 1982
Dear Edgar,
Today will be my first entry writing in you diary, so therefore I decided to give you a name. Edgar. (Yes! Its perfectly normal to name your diary!) But I'm not joking here, I have given serious thought (yes, I realize that is a name pun) into joining a convent. I haven't told Moony, Padfoot (oh wait...that's me) or Prongs about this burning desire. And theres no fucken way im telling Wormtail, because I know he'll betray us in the future and send me to Azkaban. Anyway.It may sound crazy, but I **KNOW** it is my calling to be a nun. Plus, I think I'd look rather attractive in one of those habbits..Hey, maybe if I'm super de dooper lucky I can get Snivellus to join the convent with me, and we can live happily ever after in celebacy until we die! Thanks for Listening Edgar,
Love Always XoXo, Padfoot.
*******************************************
At this entry Siri had turned a bright shade of red and was occupied himself instead by looking through a magazine that said "The Obsessors Guide to Cattle" as the rest of the Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit were laughing hysterically.
Admiral J: Okay.who's the next victim of embarassment! Ah..Molly Weasley!
Molly:
*******************************************
Date: June 2, 1986 Dear Diary: .....................
*******************************************
Draco: Riiiight. Lets read someone's diary that actually has something to say! Hey, how about we hear from Hermione!
Admiral J: Ok Ok, but this is the last one, because Admiral J has to go to some picnic with the Parental Units.
*******************************************
Date: December 25, 2009
Dear Crappy Thing that I'm Writing On;
ITS HALLOWEEN! And I have decided that the best course of action to take on this holiday would be to kill my own muggleborn parents then date Draco's father. And I did. The murder was simple you see, I sharpened a large steak knife and slit their throats, then I put on my seductive charms and seduced Luicious until he agreed that I was his bitch. Well I gotta go now, im going to hand this entry into the athorities and get myself in a shitload of trouble!
-Hermione.
*******************************************
Draco: YOU DID WHAT?!??!?!?!, YOU MUDBLOOD!
Hermione: [Giggles]
Sevvie: But what about me! You Always forget me!!! Its NOT fair. I'm going to be voted off because of you, Admiral!
Admiral: Fine, then why don't you help me and Sirius do the closing part of this chapter?
Sirius: Why do I have to!
Admiral: Because you did in the last two chapters and I'm keeping the tradition. Lets go Snivellus! Say something!
Sevvie: Oompa Loompas wear pants.
Molly Weasley:
Sirius: Okay then. Well next time when you find us in the Hufflepuff Dorms ---SINCE THE STUPID AUTHOR WONT LET US OUT.
Admiral: Now Now, Sirius, would you like me to read another entry in your Diary?
Sirius: [Blushes]
Molly Weasley:
Admiral: Like he was TRYING to say.There'll be more embarassment, more reasons to pick on them, and more random funness if you stay tuned and keep on reviewing!!! You Won't regret it.
Voldie: I miss my Trouser Snake!!!!
Sirius: Overshare. Okay, well I'm going to look into some convents nearby some cattle!
Admiral J: No your not, your stuck here remember? (A/N: REMINDER VIEWRS: R&R! Please! it would mean a lot to me and the gang!)
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Nods]
McGonagall: STOP THIS! I have an announcement. THE NEXT VOTE OFF IS NOW. You readers will have your opinions to state which character you'd like to see OFF the fic. But also do tell who you'd LIKE to see as one of the top finalists. Of course not all of your votes will be answered because it is possible they can all vary, but we'd like to hear from you anyway! The vote offresults will be announced in chapter five, (the next update!) in an ancient ceremonial way, around a bonfire. A Human Sacrifice will be made.