Chapter 7-- Snapey Wapey's Emotion Potions.
A/N: Welcome back to Random Harry Potter Characters Saying Random Shit while trapped in a Hufflepuff Dormitory with no escape!!!!!!!! Dead (being dead is the same as being eliminated) are: Molly, Hermione, Lockhart, Lavender and Hagrid. Let the potions start a-brewin!!!!Mwuahahaha.
Disclaimer: I will own all the Harry Potter Characters...when pigs can do an exact impersonation of Jackie Chan. AkA, never have, never will.
~~~~*~~*~**~**~*~*~*~~~~~ We last left our heroes, trapped once again in the Hufflepuff dormitories, where they will yet face another challenge. Emotion Potions, brewed by Poetic Potions Master, Severus and Myself, the author. Me and Sev have been working our asses off to come up with a set of odd emotions to put these poor characters through, only to result in massive amounts of randomness, and insured acts of craziness.
Here's the emotion potion match up!
*~*~*Sirius drinks a bubbly pink potion, causing him to fall in LOVE with everybody trapped in the room*~*~*On the other hand, A Dementor is matched up with the blood red HATEFUL potion, leaving it with immense dislike for all in the room.*~*~*Minerva, the Burly Football Jock's perfect matchup is indeed a potion causing her ego to explode....Minnie's gone MACHO*~*~*
*~*~*Dumbledore realizes he is a worthless little fucker when he drinks a potion, making him SUICIDAL*~*~*While Voldie takes a bubbling vile of SONGBIRD potion, causing him to break out in song spontaneously*~*~*While Morty's singin, and Dumbles is slitting his wrists, Ginny will drink a SUSPICIOUS potion, causing her to be paranoid and suspicious of all in the room*~*~*
*~*~*James Potter faces embarassment when drinking an EMBARASSED emotion potion, while Remmie pulls guns on people after drinking the VIOLENT potion.*~*~*And while all this is going on, Draco had drunk the CONFUSED potion, and has not a clue what is going on.*~*~* Snape made himself a Sadistic potion, and I did likewise.*~*~*
NOW..Here's where the REAL stuff begins! ____________________________________________________________
After all the Random Harry Potter Characters that Say Random Shit had drank their potions, emotional turmoil started to slowly settle in. It had been a quiet Sunday morning, but once the potions got a hold of them..well, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.
Dumbly: I really want to get out of here, I miss my job.
Draco: Yeah, and my mum and dad. Oh wait, you killed my father, you bloody bastard!!!!!!
Dumbly: I did, didn't I? Humm.....I hate myself! I hate my life!!! I wish I would die! My life isn't worth anyting. I am an ugly git with no friends. Somebody shoot me!
Draco: There is no way I could possibly shoot a lady named Everest. [Giggles like a small child] Do YOU know the muffin man?
Dumbly: Why I'm sure I do. But why would the muffin man like me? I HATE MY DAMNED SELF AND WISH TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH BY BEING CHOPPED UP BY ANGRY POETS.
Voldie: I'm not a girl..Not yet a woman. All I need is time. A moment that is mine, while I'm in between. I'm not a girl..
Sirius: [Gags Voldie, then asks him out to dinner and a movie]
Ginny: It was Mr.Green, in the Kitchen, with the knife!!!!!
Sirius: Ginny, you firey redhead, get over here hottstuff and come to mamma!!!
Ginny: YOUR TRYING MUG ME! HELP HELP RAPIST!!!
A Giant Dancing Condom: [skips merrily] This looks like a job for....TROJAN MAN!!!!! (a/n: thanks silver sun for the dancing condom suggestion! LoL, glad I could add it to the fic, its great)
Dementor: I Hate you, mother fucker, go curl up somewhere and die.
Dumbly: I wish I could. [cries]
Remmie: [Pulls out a shotgun] I could kill the condom for you! Please let me kill the condom?
A Giant Dancing Condom: Will you please stop plotting my murder in my presence! Its not my fault im a Conservative Banker looking for a pair of Moccasins on the Nude Beaches of The Caribebean.
Britney Spears: Hi.
Dementor: You fake son of a bitch.
Remmie: [steals a bow and arrow from a near by Iroquios indian and shoots Britney]
Sirius: Nice one, sexy!
Remmie: [points arrow at Siri, doesn't shoot, then plays a violent video game on a play station 2 that randomly appeared out of nowhere.]
McGonagall: COME ON TOUGH GUY! YOU THINK YOU CAN FIGHT ME! I AM A MUSCULAR SURFER, AND I NEED TO GO TO THE GYM TO STRUT MY STUFF IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND ADMIRE MY BURLY COMPLEXION!
James: I think I just soiled myself. I'm so embarrased!!!!
Sirius: Awe Jamesy-Wamsey!!! That's so romantic!!!!!
James: I'm too embarassed. Bugger off.
Jaye: Hahahhahah Sev, this is so amusing!
Snape: Yes yes it is. **smiles evilly**
Jaye: You're a real greasy bastard.
Snape: I know.
Sirius: Hey Sevy-Levy-Madonna-Lookalike!!! SNOG WITH ME IN THE FAR LEFT CORNER NEAR THAT RANDOM IGNEOUS ROCK.
Jaye: You should really shut up. You're getting rather annoying, Sirius.
Sirius: Marry me? Then we can go on a Honeymoon to Hades! Wahoo. Hell.
Jaye: No thanks.
That Priest from Chapter 3 and 6: Chilren in Christ, Welcome Welcome! Do I hear wedding bells in the air?
Jaye: Ah, shit no. Go away Priesty-Weisty-Feasty-Robed-Man!!!!!
The Preist from Chapter 3 and 6: [Dissaparates]
Sirius: why did you do that? I was going to get hitched!!!
Jaye: Riiiighhhht. Leave the author alone, and hit on somebody else.
Draco: Sirius!!! HIT ON ME PLEASE! OH I've always wanted to get hit by a bobsledder going fifteen miles an hour whilst holding an immensely vicious bobcat on his lap!
Sirius: [falls asleep with a stuffed animal cattle next to him.]
Dumbles: [slits wrists while writing morbid poetry] "I want to die, crawl up and cry. No daylight shines through the pines of my heavily makeuped eye....and all I can do is sit and wait for the day I die."
Ginny: SNAPE IS TRYING TO STEAL MY POCKET CASH!!!! AHH AND HE IS WITH THE AL QUIDA NETWORK!!!!
Snape: What? I have done nothing of the sort!
Ginny: BURN HIM BURN HIM!
Dementor: Please do! I HATE that bitch!!! Burn burn burn.
Voldie: [sings] DO -a deer, a female deer. RAY - a drop of Golden sun! Me, a name I call myself...FA - a long long way to run! SO - a needle pulling thread... LA - a note to follow so! TEA - a drink with jam and bread..
McGonagall: [Looks in mirror] I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I AM THE MEANEST LEANEST FIGHTING MACHINE.
James: I am embarrased for you.
Remmie: Shall I kill her? I have a chainsaw in my breifcase?
Jaye: Sorry Remmie, not yet. Maybe next chapter.
Dumbles: Yay. We are finally talking about death. Hopefully mine.
Sirius: [Wakes up] Hey Albus, your beard is so very sauve, sleek and not to mention, it really brings out your eyes...Snog with me?
Dumbles: I fear that I have no self-esteem what so ever, and I am a useless little fucker.
Sirius: Oh, okay then. Dementor!!!!!! Lets find a nice seculded spot and talk about our future over a candlelit dinner for two! You are "The one" the love of my life.
Dementor: NO FUCKEN WAY!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [gives Siri the middle finger]
Sirius: [Cries]
Jaye: [Hands Sirius a picture of cattle in swimwear]
Sirius: [Gawks at picture]
James: I cannot believe I soiled myself! What will the "Cool crowd" at school say!!!
All Random Harry Potter Characters that Say Random Shit: [laugh at James]
McGonagall: I'm Better then you are!!!!!! Anything you can do, I can do better.
Voldie: [sings] I can do anything better than you!
Ginny: HELP! EVERYONE HERE IS TRYING TO RAPE ME!!!
A Giant Dancing Condom: TROJAN MAN!!!!!
Remmie: [Takes out a dagger and slashes the condom so its generally useless in any sexual activity]
A Giant Dancing Condom: What did you do that for? I'm offended!
Remmie: I'm violent.
Dementor: [evil gleam of hate in eyes]
Draco: Whats going on!!!???!?!?! Why do I feel like a hysterical honeybee trapped inside the body of Stephen Speilberg???!!
Ginny: Humm...Very suspicious Malfoy. Very Suspicious. I suspect you are a runaway from the CIA.
Jaye: [Laughs at all the confusion]
Snape: I love this.
Ginny: SNAPE!!! I KNOW UR WITH THE AL-QUIDA NETWORK! Give yourself up, or I'll take matters in my own hands.
Snape: I'm not even sure ***who*** the Al-Quida is!!!! What is the matter with you, Weasley!
Ginny: Denial! Liar! [takes a box of matches from Lupin and lights one to Snape's greasy hair.]
_________________________________ (------ that was a moment of silence to mourn the death (or laugh hysterically at the death of Poetic Potions master, Severus Snape
All Random Harry Potter Characters that Say Random Shit: [Celebrate] (a/n: sorry snape fans)
Jaye: Right. I think we need a song! Yes....Lord Voldemort, shall you entertain us with a parodic melody.
Voldie: Yeah, baby! I will sing a parody to the song "I WILL SURVIVE" ---- my version.
~**~*~*~**~ VOLDIES PARODIC VERSION OF: "I WILL SURVIVE"~**~*~*~**~
Voldie: [Sings]....
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
But I put an ax to my privates, and then I cried.
Then I spent so many nights Just thinking what I did wrong
But I'm still strong
Even thought I have no shlong.
**
And so you're back, from outer space
When I cut off my dick, you shoulda seen the look upon my face.
I should have changed that stupid lock
I shouldn't have cut off my cock
If I had known for just one second ,I'd never be able to mate.
**
Go on now go, walk out the door
Don't laugh at me,
I don't got a trouser snake no more.
Wasn't I the one, who tried to dismember myself with an ax?
you think I'd crumble?
you think I'd just eat some Applejacks?
Oh no not I, I will survive
Even though I got no dick, hey....i am still alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got no more love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey hey
**
(I, I will survive)
Hey hey
(I, I will survive)
Every day
(I, I will survive)
Oh yeah
**
It took all the strength I had to cut myself apart.
And now I see dismembering myself wasn't all so smart.
And I spent oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, seein my dick upon that shelf
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person still eating Elmer's glue.
And so you felt like dropping in, and just expect me to be free
But now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who doesn't mind dickless me.
**
Go on now go, walk out the door
Don't laugh at me,
I don't got a trouser snake no more.
Wasn't I the one, who tried to dismember myself with an ax?
you think I'd crumble?
you think I'd just eat some Applejacks?
Oh no not I, I will survive
Even though I got no dick, hey....i am still alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got no more love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey hey!
***************************
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Applause]
Shrek: Get out of my swamp!
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Blank Stare]
Shrek: Oh, right. Wrong movie.
Sirius: Hey...who says ogres aren't sexy? Wanna have kids with me?
Shrek: Are you on drugs?
Jaye: Emotion Potions.
Shrek: Okay then....Im out, like a fatkid in dodgeball.
[Shrek leaves]
McGonagall: I am strong, Never wrong, and all the chicks want me!
Draco: I don't. **Giggles like a school girl** I love Billy!
James: I am embarrased. I soiled myself again, and was caught wearing a bra to my uncle's 50th birthday blast.
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Blank Stare]
Remmie: [Holds up an shovel in a threatening motion, and knocks McGonagall out cold]
Dumbly: HOW COME NO ONE IS HURTING ME!!!
Jaye: Because you're suicidal and should be doing that yourself.
Dumbly: Oh, yeah. You're right. [Hits himself with a metal mallet]
Voldie: [sings] He was a sk8er boi, she said see you later boi..he wasn't good enough for her...
Remmie: [Shoves Voldie in a styrofoam box to shut him up]
Sirius: Dementor, I had my heart over to you, you are my light and my wisdom. Please accept my love?
Dementor: [Gives Sirius the middle finger again]
Ginny: YOU! Dementor! You wear pink panties!!!
Dementor: I hate you.
James: I am still embarassed, people!!!!! I fricken shop at the girls section in Ambercrombie and Fitch!!!
McGonagall: I shop in Abercrombie, but in the manly section, because that's what men like me do.
Draco: I'm not potty trained, mum! Brrrmmmmmmmmm.....im an otter on a see- saw!
Jaye: Well I'm getting tiresome of writing..so come on Black, help me close this chapter!
Sirius: Only if Dumbles Marries me. [looks over to see dumbles scavanging for pills to overdose on]
Jaye: Don't count on it.
Sirius: Cattle...But aside from that, Next time in Chapter 8, We'll all be de-potionized, and ready to face the next adventure whilst trapped in the Hufflepuff Girl's dormitories!!! THE TOMB RAIDER LADY will be stopping by for Tea and Biscuts, and interviewing some of us...under the influence of Veritaserum. (a/n: Veritaserum! great idea Venus!) And Are you sure that you don't want to marry me Jaye?
Jaye: Most certainly positive. Now stop it before I make Lupin pull a gun on you. [cackles]
Sirius: That's mean.
Deep Mysterious Voice That Appears out of Nowhere: THE EMOTION POTIONS HAVE WORN OFF. NORMALCY HAS RETURNED TO THE DORMS.
Jaye: And let's not forget that **YOU** the reader, can still review me with comments, ideas, suggestions, requests..AND WHO YOU"D LIKE TO SEE STAY ON! Who youre favorites are, and who YOU hate the most. So that's it for now! Come on, Siri! Lets go dispose of Snape's body in Minerva's sleeping quarters!!! (a/n. yes still in the dorm!)
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [WAVE]
A/N: Welcome back to Random Harry Potter Characters Saying Random Shit while trapped in a Hufflepuff Dormitory with no escape!!!!!!!! Dead (being dead is the same as being eliminated) are: Molly, Hermione, Lockhart, Lavender and Hagrid. Let the potions start a-brewin!!!!Mwuahahaha.
Disclaimer: I will own all the Harry Potter Characters...when pigs can do an exact impersonation of Jackie Chan. AkA, never have, never will.
~~~~*~~*~**~**~*~*~*~~~~~ We last left our heroes, trapped once again in the Hufflepuff dormitories, where they will yet face another challenge. Emotion Potions, brewed by Poetic Potions Master, Severus and Myself, the author. Me and Sev have been working our asses off to come up with a set of odd emotions to put these poor characters through, only to result in massive amounts of randomness, and insured acts of craziness.
Here's the emotion potion match up!
*~*~*Sirius drinks a bubbly pink potion, causing him to fall in LOVE with everybody trapped in the room*~*~*On the other hand, A Dementor is matched up with the blood red HATEFUL potion, leaving it with immense dislike for all in the room.*~*~*Minerva, the Burly Football Jock's perfect matchup is indeed a potion causing her ego to explode....Minnie's gone MACHO*~*~*
*~*~*Dumbledore realizes he is a worthless little fucker when he drinks a potion, making him SUICIDAL*~*~*While Voldie takes a bubbling vile of SONGBIRD potion, causing him to break out in song spontaneously*~*~*While Morty's singin, and Dumbles is slitting his wrists, Ginny will drink a SUSPICIOUS potion, causing her to be paranoid and suspicious of all in the room*~*~*
*~*~*James Potter faces embarassment when drinking an EMBARASSED emotion potion, while Remmie pulls guns on people after drinking the VIOLENT potion.*~*~*And while all this is going on, Draco had drunk the CONFUSED potion, and has not a clue what is going on.*~*~* Snape made himself a Sadistic potion, and I did likewise.*~*~*
NOW..Here's where the REAL stuff begins! ____________________________________________________________
After all the Random Harry Potter Characters that Say Random Shit had drank their potions, emotional turmoil started to slowly settle in. It had been a quiet Sunday morning, but once the potions got a hold of them..well, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.
Dumbly: I really want to get out of here, I miss my job.
Draco: Yeah, and my mum and dad. Oh wait, you killed my father, you bloody bastard!!!!!!
Dumbly: I did, didn't I? Humm.....I hate myself! I hate my life!!! I wish I would die! My life isn't worth anyting. I am an ugly git with no friends. Somebody shoot me!
Draco: There is no way I could possibly shoot a lady named Everest. [Giggles like a small child] Do YOU know the muffin man?
Dumbly: Why I'm sure I do. But why would the muffin man like me? I HATE MY DAMNED SELF AND WISH TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH BY BEING CHOPPED UP BY ANGRY POETS.
Voldie: I'm not a girl..Not yet a woman. All I need is time. A moment that is mine, while I'm in between. I'm not a girl..
Sirius: [Gags Voldie, then asks him out to dinner and a movie]
Ginny: It was Mr.Green, in the Kitchen, with the knife!!!!!
Sirius: Ginny, you firey redhead, get over here hottstuff and come to mamma!!!
Ginny: YOUR TRYING MUG ME! HELP HELP RAPIST!!!
A Giant Dancing Condom: [skips merrily] This looks like a job for....TROJAN MAN!!!!! (a/n: thanks silver sun for the dancing condom suggestion! LoL, glad I could add it to the fic, its great)
Dementor: I Hate you, mother fucker, go curl up somewhere and die.
Dumbly: I wish I could. [cries]
Remmie: [Pulls out a shotgun] I could kill the condom for you! Please let me kill the condom?
A Giant Dancing Condom: Will you please stop plotting my murder in my presence! Its not my fault im a Conservative Banker looking for a pair of Moccasins on the Nude Beaches of The Caribebean.
Britney Spears: Hi.
Dementor: You fake son of a bitch.
Remmie: [steals a bow and arrow from a near by Iroquios indian and shoots Britney]
Sirius: Nice one, sexy!
Remmie: [points arrow at Siri, doesn't shoot, then plays a violent video game on a play station 2 that randomly appeared out of nowhere.]
McGonagall: COME ON TOUGH GUY! YOU THINK YOU CAN FIGHT ME! I AM A MUSCULAR SURFER, AND I NEED TO GO TO THE GYM TO STRUT MY STUFF IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND ADMIRE MY BURLY COMPLEXION!
James: I think I just soiled myself. I'm so embarrased!!!!
Sirius: Awe Jamesy-Wamsey!!! That's so romantic!!!!!
James: I'm too embarassed. Bugger off.
Jaye: Hahahhahah Sev, this is so amusing!
Snape: Yes yes it is. **smiles evilly**
Jaye: You're a real greasy bastard.
Snape: I know.
Sirius: Hey Sevy-Levy-Madonna-Lookalike!!! SNOG WITH ME IN THE FAR LEFT CORNER NEAR THAT RANDOM IGNEOUS ROCK.
Jaye: You should really shut up. You're getting rather annoying, Sirius.
Sirius: Marry me? Then we can go on a Honeymoon to Hades! Wahoo. Hell.
Jaye: No thanks.
That Priest from Chapter 3 and 6: Chilren in Christ, Welcome Welcome! Do I hear wedding bells in the air?
Jaye: Ah, shit no. Go away Priesty-Weisty-Feasty-Robed-Man!!!!!
The Preist from Chapter 3 and 6: [Dissaparates]
Sirius: why did you do that? I was going to get hitched!!!
Jaye: Riiiighhhht. Leave the author alone, and hit on somebody else.
Draco: Sirius!!! HIT ON ME PLEASE! OH I've always wanted to get hit by a bobsledder going fifteen miles an hour whilst holding an immensely vicious bobcat on his lap!
Sirius: [falls asleep with a stuffed animal cattle next to him.]
Dumbles: [slits wrists while writing morbid poetry] "I want to die, crawl up and cry. No daylight shines through the pines of my heavily makeuped eye....and all I can do is sit and wait for the day I die."
Ginny: SNAPE IS TRYING TO STEAL MY POCKET CASH!!!! AHH AND HE IS WITH THE AL QUIDA NETWORK!!!!
Snape: What? I have done nothing of the sort!
Ginny: BURN HIM BURN HIM!
Dementor: Please do! I HATE that bitch!!! Burn burn burn.
Voldie: [sings] DO -a deer, a female deer. RAY - a drop of Golden sun! Me, a name I call myself...FA - a long long way to run! SO - a needle pulling thread... LA - a note to follow so! TEA - a drink with jam and bread..
McGonagall: [Looks in mirror] I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I AM THE MEANEST LEANEST FIGHTING MACHINE.
James: I am embarrased for you.
Remmie: Shall I kill her? I have a chainsaw in my breifcase?
Jaye: Sorry Remmie, not yet. Maybe next chapter.
Dumbles: Yay. We are finally talking about death. Hopefully mine.
Sirius: [Wakes up] Hey Albus, your beard is so very sauve, sleek and not to mention, it really brings out your eyes...Snog with me?
Dumbles: I fear that I have no self-esteem what so ever, and I am a useless little fucker.
Sirius: Oh, okay then. Dementor!!!!!! Lets find a nice seculded spot and talk about our future over a candlelit dinner for two! You are "The one" the love of my life.
Dementor: NO FUCKEN WAY!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [gives Siri the middle finger]
Sirius: [Cries]
Jaye: [Hands Sirius a picture of cattle in swimwear]
Sirius: [Gawks at picture]
James: I cannot believe I soiled myself! What will the "Cool crowd" at school say!!!
All Random Harry Potter Characters that Say Random Shit: [laugh at James]
McGonagall: I'm Better then you are!!!!!! Anything you can do, I can do better.
Voldie: [sings] I can do anything better than you!
Ginny: HELP! EVERYONE HERE IS TRYING TO RAPE ME!!!
A Giant Dancing Condom: TROJAN MAN!!!!!
Remmie: [Takes out a dagger and slashes the condom so its generally useless in any sexual activity]
A Giant Dancing Condom: What did you do that for? I'm offended!
Remmie: I'm violent.
Dementor: [evil gleam of hate in eyes]
Draco: Whats going on!!!???!?!?! Why do I feel like a hysterical honeybee trapped inside the body of Stephen Speilberg???!!
Ginny: Humm...Very suspicious Malfoy. Very Suspicious. I suspect you are a runaway from the CIA.
Jaye: [Laughs at all the confusion]
Snape: I love this.
Ginny: SNAPE!!! I KNOW UR WITH THE AL-QUIDA NETWORK! Give yourself up, or I'll take matters in my own hands.
Snape: I'm not even sure ***who*** the Al-Quida is!!!! What is the matter with you, Weasley!
Ginny: Denial! Liar! [takes a box of matches from Lupin and lights one to Snape's greasy hair.]
_________________________________ (------ that was a moment of silence to mourn the death (or laugh hysterically at the death of Poetic Potions master, Severus Snape
All Random Harry Potter Characters that Say Random Shit: [Celebrate] (a/n: sorry snape fans)
Jaye: Right. I think we need a song! Yes....Lord Voldemort, shall you entertain us with a parodic melody.
Voldie: Yeah, baby! I will sing a parody to the song "I WILL SURVIVE" ---- my version.
~**~*~*~**~ VOLDIES PARODIC VERSION OF: "I WILL SURVIVE"~**~*~*~**~
Voldie: [Sings]....
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
But I put an ax to my privates, and then I cried.
Then I spent so many nights Just thinking what I did wrong
But I'm still strong
Even thought I have no shlong.
**
And so you're back, from outer space
When I cut off my dick, you shoulda seen the look upon my face.
I should have changed that stupid lock
I shouldn't have cut off my cock
If I had known for just one second ,I'd never be able to mate.
**
Go on now go, walk out the door
Don't laugh at me,
I don't got a trouser snake no more.
Wasn't I the one, who tried to dismember myself with an ax?
you think I'd crumble?
you think I'd just eat some Applejacks?
Oh no not I, I will survive
Even though I got no dick, hey....i am still alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got no more love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey hey
**
(I, I will survive)
Hey hey
(I, I will survive)
Every day
(I, I will survive)
Oh yeah
**
It took all the strength I had to cut myself apart.
And now I see dismembering myself wasn't all so smart.
And I spent oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, seein my dick upon that shelf
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person still eating Elmer's glue.
And so you felt like dropping in, and just expect me to be free
But now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who doesn't mind dickless me.
**
Go on now go, walk out the door
Don't laugh at me,
I don't got a trouser snake no more.
Wasn't I the one, who tried to dismember myself with an ax?
you think I'd crumble?
you think I'd just eat some Applejacks?
Oh no not I, I will survive
Even though I got no dick, hey....i am still alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got no more love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey hey!
***************************
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Applause]
Shrek: Get out of my swamp!
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Blank Stare]
Shrek: Oh, right. Wrong movie.
Sirius: Hey...who says ogres aren't sexy? Wanna have kids with me?
Shrek: Are you on drugs?
Jaye: Emotion Potions.
Shrek: Okay then....Im out, like a fatkid in dodgeball.
[Shrek leaves]
McGonagall: I am strong, Never wrong, and all the chicks want me!
Draco: I don't. **Giggles like a school girl** I love Billy!
James: I am embarrased. I soiled myself again, and was caught wearing a bra to my uncle's 50th birthday blast.
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [Blank Stare]
Remmie: [Holds up an shovel in a threatening motion, and knocks McGonagall out cold]
Dumbly: HOW COME NO ONE IS HURTING ME!!!
Jaye: Because you're suicidal and should be doing that yourself.
Dumbly: Oh, yeah. You're right. [Hits himself with a metal mallet]
Voldie: [sings] He was a sk8er boi, she said see you later boi..he wasn't good enough for her...
Remmie: [Shoves Voldie in a styrofoam box to shut him up]
Sirius: Dementor, I had my heart over to you, you are my light and my wisdom. Please accept my love?
Dementor: [Gives Sirius the middle finger again]
Ginny: YOU! Dementor! You wear pink panties!!!
Dementor: I hate you.
James: I am still embarassed, people!!!!! I fricken shop at the girls section in Ambercrombie and Fitch!!!
McGonagall: I shop in Abercrombie, but in the manly section, because that's what men like me do.
Draco: I'm not potty trained, mum! Brrrmmmmmmmmm.....im an otter on a see- saw!
Jaye: Well I'm getting tiresome of writing..so come on Black, help me close this chapter!
Sirius: Only if Dumbles Marries me. [looks over to see dumbles scavanging for pills to overdose on]
Jaye: Don't count on it.
Sirius: Cattle...But aside from that, Next time in Chapter 8, We'll all be de-potionized, and ready to face the next adventure whilst trapped in the Hufflepuff Girl's dormitories!!! THE TOMB RAIDER LADY will be stopping by for Tea and Biscuts, and interviewing some of us...under the influence of Veritaserum. (a/n: Veritaserum! great idea Venus!) And Are you sure that you don't want to marry me Jaye?
Jaye: Most certainly positive. Now stop it before I make Lupin pull a gun on you. [cackles]
Sirius: That's mean.
Deep Mysterious Voice That Appears out of Nowhere: THE EMOTION POTIONS HAVE WORN OFF. NORMALCY HAS RETURNED TO THE DORMS.
Jaye: And let's not forget that **YOU** the reader, can still review me with comments, ideas, suggestions, requests..AND WHO YOU"D LIKE TO SEE STAY ON! Who youre favorites are, and who YOU hate the most. So that's it for now! Come on, Siri! Lets go dispose of Snape's body in Minerva's sleeping quarters!!! (a/n. yes still in the dorm!)
All Random Harry Potter Characters That Say Random Shit: [WAVE]