Most of these characters are not mine. Even Benny Barumpbump! He comes from the imagination and talent of Fred Hembeck! I just borrowed him and threw him into my deranged universe for the fun of it!

Todd: You'll steal from anybody won't you ya hack?

Quiet! With that in mind sit back and enjoy the latest installment of insanity of my Alternate Misfits universe!

I've Put a Spell On You

Chapter 1: You Can See What's Coming

Watching the up and coming young comic Benny Barumpbump you'd just know…

"Hey mutants don't bother me. See I come from a supernatural family. My ex-wife is a witch, my kid is a zombie and my brother the attorney is a vampire! And my former mother in law, well she was so scary Frankenstein's monster took one look at her and screamed!"

You just know the next Jerry Seinfield he wasn't. However underneath this good-natured portly figure was something unusual. Besides the fact that he looked like a clone of Drew Carey except that he had black hair. Behind those dark thick glasses there was a hidden power lurking, just waiting to be unleashed. No it wasn't a mutant power, but something else of a more magical nature. Too bad the same couldn't be said for his act.

You see by early evening Benny Barumpbump was just another struggling comedian, but by night he was an apprentice of the dark and secretive arts of sorcery! And his teacher….

"By the horns of the Minotaur," Dr. Strange groaned as he looked at the mess in his study. "What have you done now?"

"Uh…Well," Benny looked around at the green goo around the room. "You see I had this idea for a joke and maybe I could incorporate some magic into the act. The joke goes…"

"Never mind!" Dr. Strange interrupted him. "I don't want to know. Benny, you have been my apprentice for how long now?"

"A whole year," Benny nodded. "I think I'm getting the hang of it."

"A year," Dr. Strange sighed. "Really. I thought it was longer. Anyway you still need learn to control and focus your magic. It's a very serious responsibility."

"I can't help it Doc," Benny shuffled his feet. "I'm not that serious a guy. I am a comedian you know. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a sorcerer?"

"Now Benny remember what I told you."

"Uh…Never leave your book of spells in the refrigerator?"

"Besides that," Dr. Strange sighed. "You don't choose magic, magic chooses you." Under his breath he added. "Although in your case I will never understand why."

"Are you sure that the magic didn't get the wrong address? Cause that happens to me all the time."

"It's…possible. Anyway as the Supreme Sorcerer of this Realm…"

"Does that include all five boroughs and New Jersey?"

"Benny!"

"Sorry Doc…"

"As I was saying it is my sworn duty to not only protect this realm from magical forces but to instruct anyone with magical potential like yours. It's not my favorite duty by any stretch of the imagination but it's still my duty none the less. Let's try some spells and mystic chants shall we? This will help you focus your mind. Just repeat after me," Dr. Strange sighed. "Balact, act, niktu…"

"Balact act niktu…"

"Evram mai arik conenay…"

"Evram mai arik conenay…banana fanna foenay….fi fie monay….Conenay!"

"Oh sweet merciful angel of death take me now!" Dr. Strange shouted.

"And there isn't any spell that I can't rhyme!" Benny sang.

"Of all the people on the planet earth," Dr. Strange muttered to himself. "Of all the potential humans who possess magic abilities I had to run into him and make him my apprentice! I will never, ever again go out to a comedy club to unwind! Benny…"

"Benny! Benny o Enny bannana fanna fo Fenny, fi fie mo Menny! Benny!"

"Barumpbump this is not the time! Surely you…"

"SHIRLEY! Shirley! Shirley bo berly banana fanna mo merly fi fie foe merly1 Shirley!" Benny sang as he danced around.

"I give up!" Dr. Strange howled. "There is no teaching this man! I am going to chuck…"

"CHUCK! Chuck! Chuck bo buck banana fanna fo…"

"SHUT UP!" Doctor Strange shouted. Dark fire filled the room.

"Oops," Benny gulped. "Sorry about that."

"Not half as sorry as I am!" Dr. Strange groaned as he rubbed his temples. Across the room a crystal ball glowed. "What? Oh something has escaped from the spirit world!"

"What some kind of horrible demon who wants to enslave the planet and eat us for breakfast?" Benny gulped.

"Only if we're very lucky," Dr. Strange sighed as he went over to the crystal ball. "Hmmm. Interesting."

"What is it Doc?" Benny peeked over his shoulder. "Those are demons?"

"No actually they are more benevolent life forms from the shadow realm. You would call them fairies."

"Really? They look pretty straight to me. Just shows that…"

"NOT THAT KIND OF FAIRY YOU LUNATIC!" Dr. Strange snapped at him. "I'm talking magical beings with fantastic powers."

"Oh, well what are they doing here?"

"Probably have wandered through a tear in the fabric between dimensions," Dr. Strange told him. "Happens all the time. I recognize these three. All right Benny it's high time that you were sent on a mission. Your job is to find these three fairies and bring them back here where I can safely send them back to their own dimension."

"Are you sure I can do this?" Benny gulped. "I mean are they dangerous or something?"

"Benny please, would I send an apprentice of your level out on a dangerous mission where you could get killed?" He thought a minute. "Or maimed. Or eaten. Never to be able to teach you again or listen to your jokes…"

"Doc?" Benny asked.

Dr. Strange seemed lost in pleasant thoughts. Then he shook himself out of it. "Oh where was I? Oh yes, these three are relatively harmless. They're very good-natured and extremely helpful. A little too helpful. They love doing good deeds, especially dealing with matters of a romantic nature."

"Really?" Benny asked. "Maybe they can set me up with a date sometime?"

"I wouldn't if I were you," Dr. Strange told him. "Their accuracy with magic is about…well about the same as yours actually. You should get along like a house on fire. I've lost the signal on one of them but no matter, since the three of them usually stick pretty close together anyway. And the first two are in New York in the town of…Bayville."

************************************************************************

"X-Men I have a very important announcement to make," Xavier said. The students and faculty were gathered in the library. "Tomorrow morning the Institute will have some very important visitors. So it is important that you be on your best behavior."

"What kind of visitors?" Jean asked.

"They're from the State Board of Education," Hank told her. "They're here to inspect the Institute to see if it conforms to state regulations."

"What? They're gonna try and close us down?" Kurt asked.

"They can't do that can they?" Rogue asked.

"It's merely a formality," Xavier held up his hands in reassurance. "All schools have to be evaluated from time to time. They are not coming to close us down."

"But they are coming to see if they can find any reasons to try and close us down," Logan said. "Am I right Charles?"

"I'm afraid that may be a possibility," Xavier sighed. "Also they are going to evaluate the students and see if they are capable of going back to a public school. Their recommendations are important for it can help us with all the lawsuits Bayville High has hit us with. I don't need to tell you that I need all of you to be on your best behavior. It's imperative that we make a good impression."

"Don't worry Professor," Jean said. "You can count on us."

Xavier nodded and left. "Oh this is just great!" Scott grumbled. "As if we didn't have enough problems to deal with!"

"Scott its going to be fine," Jean put a hand on his shoulder. "We'll just be extra careful that's all. I mean we're trained X-Men. Surely we can all behave for one day. What's the worst that can happen?"

You can see the train wreck coming can't you?