Why Can't We Always Have Class Like This?
"This is not going according to plan," Benny gulped as he ran away from Lockheed's blasts. "Now where did I put that magic wand I 'borrowed' from the Doc? It's gotta be in here somewhere!" He reached into a bag and pulled out a small ball. "That's not it!" He threw it over his shoulder.
The ball grew in size and started to bounce all over the place. It grew to be the size of a large wrecking ball and bounced away. "Fat lot of good that did!" Benny groaned as he kept throwing other things out of his bag. "This can't get any worse!"
That's when he noticed some lasers activating right in front of him. "Okay I was wrong…" Benny gulped.
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"One of the most fantastic plays ever written was A Midsummer's Night's Dream by William Shakespeare," Hank spoke to the class. "It was a wonderful farce about love, laughter, misdirection and magic."
"It is a total snoozefest…" Tabitha yawned.
"I hear you," Kitty sighed. None of the students in the class were happy about the lecture.
In the back of the classroom Remy stifled a yawn. He was sitting next to Peter. "Man this is so dull. All this stuff about fairies and magic. Total bogus…"
"Oh I don't know…" Peter looked around nervously.
"This play brings together several elements and questions of illusion…verses reality…" Hank yawned. "The bringing together of fairies and mortals…The absurdity of a…play…(Yawn) within a …(yawn) play…is…ZZZZZZZZZZZZ." Hank fell to his desk and began to snore.
"Uh…Mr. McCoy?" Kitty asked. Hank kept snoring. She walked up to the desk. "Mr. McCoy?"
"Man I've heard of boring lectures but when the teacher falls asleep during them…" Tabitha scratched her head.
"But Mr. McCoy loves this stuff!" Bobby told her. "Doesn't make sense!"
While the rest of the class went up front to try and wake up the teacher, Peter hung back. "Where are you?" He hissed. "You were supposed to put Kitty to sleep! Not Beast!"
"Oops," Sugar peeked out from underneath a desk. "Sorry. My aim was off. I'll do better next time."
"How hard is it to aim a magic wand?" Peter whispered angrily as Sugar flew upwards.
"Wands are for sissies," Sugar sniffed. She brought out a mini bazooka. "Magic Missile of Sleep Attack!" She fired it. Unfortunately she missed her target again and instead it hit both Rogue and Remy. "Oops," She gulped as the both fell to the floor sound asleep.
"What the heck…?" Sam looked over and his jaw gaped. "What is that?"
"What is what?" Peter asked innocently. "I do not see anything. I do not see any fairies flying around."
"Is that a fairy?" Kurt gasped.
"Oh Kurt you are so funny…" Peter gulped. "Ha ha. Very funny. A fairy with a bazooka! How silly. Now where were we in the lecture?" He grabbed a book and pretended to read.
"Colossus…" Tabitha tapped her foot and folded her arms. "Who's your little friend?"
"What friend I see no friend…" Peter ignored her and kept his nose in the book. "Oh look Act I scene I…"
"Peter what the hell is a fairy doing in the classroom?" Ray snapped.
"That is a very politically incorrect statement Ray," Peter looked up.
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Ray snapped. "NOW START TALKING!"
"Oh chill out!" Sugar aimed her bazooka at Ray. "Magic Missile of Sleep!" And of course soon Ray fell to the ground asleep. "Okay the next one's for your girlfriend!"
"Oh no!" Kitty gulped.
"Everybody scatter!" Kurt shouted.
Sugar aimed her bazooka. "Magic Missile of Sleep Attack!" She fired a few rounds. Kitty phased through the strange missile only for it to hit Roberto and Amara. Forge got it in the next round.
"They're falling like flies!" Kurt yelled as he teleported out of the way of a missile attack.
"NO!" Peter grabbed Sugar. "No more missiles! No!"
"But it's fun!" Sugar whined.
"No! No more Magic Missile!" Peter snapped.
"You're no fun anymore," Sugar grunted.
"Is anybody still awake?" Bobby asked. The only people left awake were Kitty, Tabitha, Kurt and Bobby as well as Peter.
"Well sis," Sweet flew in. "I see you're doing your usual bang up job with helping people."
"Oh yeah like you're that much better," Sugar grumbled.
"Two fairies?" Kurt gasped. "I don't believe this!"
"Look who's talking!" Sweet snapped. "A blue demon!"
"He's not a demon," Sugar said. "You know perfectly well that real demons aren't blue! Purple, green, gray, red and black yes, but never blue!"
"Okay Colossus what is going on here?" Bobby folded his arms. "Why is half the class including the teacher asleep?"
"That was an accident," Sugar said. "I only intended to put Kitty to sleep. Oops!"
"What?" Kitty yelled. She glared at Peter. "Peter…"
"Ha ha…" Peter gulped. "Is funny story."
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Meanwhile in the Professor's office Ms. March and the other two inspectors were grilling Xavier. "Professor Xavier to say that your school's charter is not properly written is an understatement," Ms. March said stiffly. "It fails to follow the current guidelines of the New York Department of Education. That is a serious charge."
"You can't tell me that you're going to fault us for a few words on paper?" Logan snapped at her. "I mean our goal is to educate mutants on how to control their powers. How complicated does that have to be?"
"Actually Mr. Logan Regulations specifically state…" Mr. Bell began to speak when suddenly a loud thumping noise interrupted him. "What was that?"
"It sounded like it was from the front," Ms. Snow looked out the window. "OH MY!"
To everyone's shock a huge ball tumbled down and crashed on top of a car parked in the driveway. The strange ball bounced merrily on its way but the car was flat as a pancake. "MY CAR!" Ms. March shouted as the giant ball bounced down the driveway. "THAT THING SMASHED MY CAR!"
"I hear something!" Ms. Snow flinched. "Is that the sound of lasers?"
"WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL ARE YOU RUNNING YOU MANIAC?" Ms. March shouted. "I…I…" There was a blank look on her face.
Xavier had his hand to his head. "There is nothing wrong," He said softly. "The school's charter is fine. You did not hear any lasers and you car is fine. You came by taxi."
"Good call," Ororo told him.
The three inspectors stood there slightly dazed. "Okay new plan," Xavier sighed. "Scott you and Ororo take them down to the Danger Room. They won't come out of it for a few minutes so that should give you plenty of time to get them down there. Jean you and Jamie hide what's left of the car in the garage and clean up after it. Then I want the two of you to head back to the Danger Room immediately. I'll stall them somehow."
"What about that huge ball?" Jean asked. "Suppose it gets onto the street?"
"No the wall stopped it," Jamie looked out the window.
"Well we can always say it's a piece of art," Scott grumbled as he and Ororo led the dazed inspectors out.
"Now where did that ball come from?" Xavier wondered as Jean and Jamie ran off.
"I think I have a clue," Logan pointed at a nearby monitor.
"The lasers are activated," Xavier frowned.
"Charles…I think we have an intruder," Logan growled. "I'm gonna go take a walk."
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"So let me get this straight…" Tabitha looked at the fairies. "Lover Boy here wanted to get in good with Kitty and you wanted to help him by putting her to sleep?"
"You know like in Sleeping Beauty?" Sugar grinned.
"Oh man that spell never works," Sweet groaned. "I can't tell you how many times she's screwed this spell up!"
"It's a great spell!" Sugar snapped.
"It is not!" Sweet snapped.
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is…"
"HOLD IT!" Tabitha shouted. "Here's a dumb question, how do we wake them up?"
"With a kiss of love of course!" Sugar rolled her eyes. "Duh!"
"That's gonna be a problem for Rogue…" Kurt gulped. "On so many levels."
"You mean all I gotta do to wake up my Sammy is kiss him?" Tabitha sat him up.
"That's the idea," Sweet said.
"Well," Tabitha shrugged. "Here goes…" She kissed Sam on the lips.
Sam's eyes fluttered. "Tabby?"
"Hey it works!" Bobby said.
"Welcome back Sam!" Tabitha grinned.
"Back?" Sam looked up and saw the two fairies. Then he fainted.
"Oh great," Tabitha rolled her eyes. "That was a roaring success!"
"Hey don't blame us for your boyfriend's fainting," Sugar said.
"Well I am not kissing Mr. McCoy that's for sure," Bobby grumbled.
"It has to be a kiss of love that will wake them," Sweet said. "Or until the spell wears off. Speaking of spells I just remembered what I came to warn you about Sugar! There's this dorky sorcerer's apprentice after us trying to take us back to our dimension! Fortunately I left him with a cute little purple dragon to play with."
"Lockheed?" Kitty asked. "That's my dragon!"
"You mean there's another person being chased around the mansion by Kitty's insane pet dragon?" Kurt groaned. "Wonderful! Logan is gonna love this!"
"That's not important right now," Kitty said. "We have bigger problems to worry about! Like those inspectors coming to visit our class! I'm pretty sure that a sleeping teacher as well as half the kids isn't going to impress them!"
"Don't worry!" Sugar said. "I've got it covered! I'll delay 'em long enough to give them time to wake up!"
"How long will that take?" Kurt asked.
"Only a couple of hours," Sugar indicated her magic bazooka. "Good thing I set it on low."
"Will you put that thing away?" Sweet snapped. "It's caused enough trouble!"
"Touchy, touchy…" Sugar groaned as she flew off.
"Maybe I should help her out," Sweet sighed as she flew after her.
"So now what do we do?" Bobby asked.
"Well anybody got a deck of cards?" Kitty asked.
"I got some from Gambit," Peter took them from Remy's pocket.
"Look I know we're mutants and all but how is it we keep attracting all these weirdoes?" Kurt asked.
"Well at least class isn't as boring as I thought it was going to be today," Tabitha shrugged.