The troubles of men
Written by: Casakitten and Supervillain_Catgirl
AN: Just to remind ya'll I did not write this by myself. My good friend
Casakitten deserves just as much credit.
* * *
Men. They're the protectors. They are the providers. They are the fathers. They are the sons. He was.not-like-them-in-the slightest.
Protector Well, he'd help save the universe a few times.
Provider He lived with the brother of one of the Nameks he'd absorbed.he didn't have a job.he didn't support anyone.
Father He was an alien! That wasn't exactly the thing girls went after.
Son He was-basically-was Piccolo Damien, which meant that he really wasn't born.
So could he really be considered a man?
::Cry::, No!
Piccolo slammed his fist down against the tile floor of the lookout, he wasn't a man! He didn't do anything earth men did! So thus, he figured he really wasn't a man to begin with.
Mr. Popo, who had been watering a potted shrub near by jumped in surprise of the Namekians action.
"Piccolo?" came a soft voice from behind.
Piccolo peeked over his shoulder, "I got.angry." he muttered, to Dende who stood behind him smiling warily.
"About?" inquired Dende strolling to Piccolo's front, to face him.
"I'm not much of a man" grunted Piccolo coming to his feet, "I don't do anything a man does! I don't have a job-or a place! I live off of you!" he cried.
Dende blinked in surprise, he gave Piccolo a weak smile "Well-" Piccolo cut him off.
"SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"
Mr. Popo scampered behind Dende, shaking in fear.
"I AM GOING TO GO OUT AND BECOME A MAN!" cried Piccolo in personal triumph, a psychotic smile plastered on his face, "AND YOU-" he scowled at the two of them loudly, "-AREN'T GOING TO STOP ME!".
"Okay Piccolo" Dende said quietly.
"NO ARGUMENTS!"
"Okay Piccolo" Dende repeated faintly.
"I SAID NO-oh" Piccolo's shoulder slummed he starred at Dende and Popo, both of which looked as if they were going to wet themselves, "I was caught in the moment".
Dende whimpered.
"Sorry" Piccolo said with a weak smile, backing up several feet to the lookout edge, "I'll be going now".
Popo began to cry.
"I'll be going." he said before levitating backwards off the solid platform, "Bye" he said meekly.
Piccolo let himself drop, soaring down to the earth at top speed.
'Note to self: Don't go up there for awhile.'
When Piccolo landed on the earths surface, he found conveniently, that it was on the outskirts of West City. He didn't even have a solid plan yet, he didn't have any plan yet.but who do you go to if you want a plan?
Who can you trust will always have the answer?
Goku that's who!.wait.no.Gohan?.no.Goten? (Heh) yeah right.Bulma?.close.
VEGETA!!!!! (sigh) Not the best choice but hey he'd listen!!!
Hopefully.
* * *
"-so I want to get a job. But I don't have an education so no one will hire me.so I was wondering." Piccolo bit his bottom lip tensely.
Vegeta squinted at him, waving his hand for him to continue.
".if you could talk to Bulma about pulling some strings to get me into College?" Piccolo asked weakly, his cheeks tinted purple.
"College?" gapped Vegeta, eyes wide with shock.
And now he would.
Vegeta broke into uncontrollable laughter, clutching his stomach to keep from falling.
Piccolo's left eyebrow twitched, he glared at Vegeta, "Please?" he pleaded through gritted teeth.
Vegeta smirking, regained his normal stance looking on Piccolo with a sick twisted mild pity, "What will you train to be?" he snickered.
"A lawyer" Piccolo said quietly, his cheeks burning violet.
"A LAWYER!?" roared Vegeta, back into his fit of laughter.
Bra, (note, at the tender age of five), walked over face cast with confusion, "Mr. Piccolo?" she asked sweetly, "Did I hear you say you want to be a lawyer?".
Piccolo nodded meekly.
Bra's eyes sparkled, "Like Working Woman Barbie?" she gasped, smiling dreamily at him.
"Working-Woman-Barbie" Vegeta gasped in between laughs.
Piccolo clenched his fists, 'I will not attack Vegeta.I will not attack Vegeta.'
"Vegeta?"
Bulma strolled out into the gardens, looking to her husband, still howling with laughter. She caught sight of Piccolo and brightened "Hey Piccolo!".
"Mommy! Mommy!" cried Bra happily, "Piccolo's gonna be like Working Woman Barbie!".
Bulma blinked.
If Piccolo could have, he would have raised all the ki he had inside his body and blew himself up at that moment, the only thing stopping him was the blue haired little girl hugging onto his leg squealing with excitement, "Ooh! You're my hero! Piccolo".
Piccolo's Onyx eyes weakened as he saw Vegeta take Bulma's arm, his cheeks still red, and pull her off into the house his last words caught his pointy ears, "We need to talk".
* * *
Vegeta returned outside the house, minuets later. His hair tousled, blushing a bit, and grinning "Hey Namek" he greeted, "I pulled some strings".
"You did?" Piccolo asked brightly.
"Yes" Vegeta said with a small purr, "But I had to promise her something in return" he spat gravely.
Piccolo blinked, "What?".
Vegeta glared, "I had to promise to be her love slave!".
Piccolo's own cheeks reddened, "Sorry?".
Vegeta rolled his eyes, waving a hand dismissing the matter, he turned on his heel "She'll be coming out to talk to you in a minuet-oh and Piccolo?".
Piccolo, smiling, replied quickly "Yes?".
"I like being her love slave" he said, grinning back at him over his shoulder.
Piccolo's eyes widened a bit, "Oh"
Bulma exited out into the garden, smiling at him and waving madly "Piccolo! YOU ARE SO CUTE!".
Piccolo backed up a bit, looking scarred "Hey Bulma".
Bulma sniffled, "It's so nice to see a middle aged Namek going out there and making something of himself!".
"Middle aged?" thought Piccolo indignantly.
"Of course I'll get you into College!" she exclaimed, grasping his hands "And we'll get you an apartment-ooh and you can have one of Trunks cars! Ooh and I know this fabulous designer who can help you model the apartment!".
"I'll pay you back" he said timidly.
"No need to worry about that just yet!" she beamed at him, "I AM just so glad to help!".
Bulma linked her arm with his and tugged him off inside the house, "This is just so fantabulous!".
"Yea.but really I don't need a car"
"Of course you do! You can't be flying from home to Campus!"
Piccolo scratched his cheek, his cheeks and ears tinted purple "Thanks Bulma" he said overwhelmed with it all.
"No need for thanks! You can represent me in court if I get sued!"
Piccolo had never really considered the blue haired bombshell 'mad' before but as her fingers dug into his arm, a crazed look on her face he was beginning to wonder.
"Bulma, you don't get out much do you?"
* * *
"PICCOLO'S GOING TO COLLEGE?!" exclaimed Gohan, spitting out his coffee.
Pan nodded quickly, "Yuh Huh, Bra told me".
They heard a soft sigh from the kitchen, Videl emerged with a dreamy expression "That is just so wonderful".
"You really think?" Gohan asked faintly, "Piccolo's not exactly-normal-you know?".
"Gohan! He'll be fine! Piccolo's strong-smart! He can take care of himself" Videl smiled.
"Yea.but it's not an everyday thing for a green alien to go to college."
"Well it wasn't an everyday thing for a half-alien to go to college" she countered.
"Yeah! But I could hide my appearance! He can't!" Gohan cried in worry.
Videl glared, "Gohan! Stop it! Appearance doesn't matter! They'll just have to get use to it!".
Gohan slouched in his seat, "Yes Honey" he replied weakly, with a nervous smile.
Pan shrugged, "At least I got use for that 'Working Woman Barbie' now".
Videl arched a brow, "Why's that honey?".
"I'm gonna color her green and shave off her hair!" grinned Pan before running off to her room.
Gohan blinked.
* * *
"Really-Bulma-I don't need my own place I can have a room mate" Piccolo said smiling warily at her as she scribbled circles around apartment ads, "I mean-then we could split the rent right?".
Bulma sighed, "You sure?".
Piccolo nodded quickly, "Uh-Huh" he fiddled with his fingers, starring at the newspaper page with interest "How about that-" he pointed at an add, "Room mate wanted-3 bedroom, 1 bath, nice neighborhood Koori Acres".
Bulma raised her brows, her eyes scanning the ad "Looks good, call it up".
Piccolo hesitantly took the phone, "Err-". Bulma's slender hand slid onto the receiver, typing in the number, "There yeh go, hon".
Piccolo brought the receiver to his ear and listened intently to the long rings, a sly voice sounded on the other end, "Hello?".
"Hello" grunted Piccolo awkwardly, "You have an add for a room mate".
"Oh yeah.you interested?" the voice purred on the other end.
Piccolo nodded briskly, "Yeah".
"Do you want to meet?" the voice asked lazily.
Piccolo looked to Bulma who was sitting close listening, she nodded to him, "Ok" he muttered.
"Lets meet at the apartment, in 20 minuets"
Piccolo nodded again, "Chotto Matte" he said quickly, setting the phone down. He wrung his hands, burrowing his brow thoughtfully.
Bulma smiled lightly, "Mini iko-yo" she said brightly, "Lets go do this!".
Piccolo nodded meekly, he picked the phone back up "So-dane!".
"Fine" the voice sighed, "See you then".
Dial tone.
"Gomen, Bulma" he said gratefully, "This means a lot".
"No problem-VEGGIE!!!" she hollered "WE'RE GOING OUT!!!".
A distant grunt was her response.
Bulma snatched her purse, "This'll be so much fun!" she said happily, taking his hand.
Piccolo nodded.
* * *
(Chotto Matte: Wait a sec Mini iko-yo: Let's go look So-dane: Okay! (sure) Gomen: Thank you)
* * *
Bulma made her way up the stair case pulling piccolo eagerly behind her. They came to a halt in front of the apartment, piccolo panting.
"Come on piccolo aren't you just a little excited?" Bulma asked smiling
"Well, yeah I guess." Piccolo said blushing and staring down at the ground, gaining interest in his feet.
"Ooh look here he comes!" Bulma yelled playfully. Piccolo glimpsed up slowly, his expression quickly changing. It was.
Written by: Casakitten and Supervillain_Catgirl
AN: Just to remind ya'll I did not write this by myself. My good friend
Casakitten deserves just as much credit.
* * *
Men. They're the protectors. They are the providers. They are the fathers. They are the sons. He was.not-like-them-in-the slightest.
Protector Well, he'd help save the universe a few times.
Provider He lived with the brother of one of the Nameks he'd absorbed.he didn't have a job.he didn't support anyone.
Father He was an alien! That wasn't exactly the thing girls went after.
Son He was-basically-was Piccolo Damien, which meant that he really wasn't born.
So could he really be considered a man?
::Cry::, No!
Piccolo slammed his fist down against the tile floor of the lookout, he wasn't a man! He didn't do anything earth men did! So thus, he figured he really wasn't a man to begin with.
Mr. Popo, who had been watering a potted shrub near by jumped in surprise of the Namekians action.
"Piccolo?" came a soft voice from behind.
Piccolo peeked over his shoulder, "I got.angry." he muttered, to Dende who stood behind him smiling warily.
"About?" inquired Dende strolling to Piccolo's front, to face him.
"I'm not much of a man" grunted Piccolo coming to his feet, "I don't do anything a man does! I don't have a job-or a place! I live off of you!" he cried.
Dende blinked in surprise, he gave Piccolo a weak smile "Well-" Piccolo cut him off.
"SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"
Mr. Popo scampered behind Dende, shaking in fear.
"I AM GOING TO GO OUT AND BECOME A MAN!" cried Piccolo in personal triumph, a psychotic smile plastered on his face, "AND YOU-" he scowled at the two of them loudly, "-AREN'T GOING TO STOP ME!".
"Okay Piccolo" Dende said quietly.
"NO ARGUMENTS!"
"Okay Piccolo" Dende repeated faintly.
"I SAID NO-oh" Piccolo's shoulder slummed he starred at Dende and Popo, both of which looked as if they were going to wet themselves, "I was caught in the moment".
Dende whimpered.
"Sorry" Piccolo said with a weak smile, backing up several feet to the lookout edge, "I'll be going now".
Popo began to cry.
"I'll be going." he said before levitating backwards off the solid platform, "Bye" he said meekly.
Piccolo let himself drop, soaring down to the earth at top speed.
'Note to self: Don't go up there for awhile.'
When Piccolo landed on the earths surface, he found conveniently, that it was on the outskirts of West City. He didn't even have a solid plan yet, he didn't have any plan yet.but who do you go to if you want a plan?
Who can you trust will always have the answer?
Goku that's who!.wait.no.Gohan?.no.Goten? (Heh) yeah right.Bulma?.close.
VEGETA!!!!! (sigh) Not the best choice but hey he'd listen!!!
Hopefully.
* * *
"-so I want to get a job. But I don't have an education so no one will hire me.so I was wondering." Piccolo bit his bottom lip tensely.
Vegeta squinted at him, waving his hand for him to continue.
".if you could talk to Bulma about pulling some strings to get me into College?" Piccolo asked weakly, his cheeks tinted purple.
"College?" gapped Vegeta, eyes wide with shock.
And now he would.
Vegeta broke into uncontrollable laughter, clutching his stomach to keep from falling.
Piccolo's left eyebrow twitched, he glared at Vegeta, "Please?" he pleaded through gritted teeth.
Vegeta smirking, regained his normal stance looking on Piccolo with a sick twisted mild pity, "What will you train to be?" he snickered.
"A lawyer" Piccolo said quietly, his cheeks burning violet.
"A LAWYER!?" roared Vegeta, back into his fit of laughter.
Bra, (note, at the tender age of five), walked over face cast with confusion, "Mr. Piccolo?" she asked sweetly, "Did I hear you say you want to be a lawyer?".
Piccolo nodded meekly.
Bra's eyes sparkled, "Like Working Woman Barbie?" she gasped, smiling dreamily at him.
"Working-Woman-Barbie" Vegeta gasped in between laughs.
Piccolo clenched his fists, 'I will not attack Vegeta.I will not attack Vegeta.'
"Vegeta?"
Bulma strolled out into the gardens, looking to her husband, still howling with laughter. She caught sight of Piccolo and brightened "Hey Piccolo!".
"Mommy! Mommy!" cried Bra happily, "Piccolo's gonna be like Working Woman Barbie!".
Bulma blinked.
If Piccolo could have, he would have raised all the ki he had inside his body and blew himself up at that moment, the only thing stopping him was the blue haired little girl hugging onto his leg squealing with excitement, "Ooh! You're my hero! Piccolo".
Piccolo's Onyx eyes weakened as he saw Vegeta take Bulma's arm, his cheeks still red, and pull her off into the house his last words caught his pointy ears, "We need to talk".
* * *
Vegeta returned outside the house, minuets later. His hair tousled, blushing a bit, and grinning "Hey Namek" he greeted, "I pulled some strings".
"You did?" Piccolo asked brightly.
"Yes" Vegeta said with a small purr, "But I had to promise her something in return" he spat gravely.
Piccolo blinked, "What?".
Vegeta glared, "I had to promise to be her love slave!".
Piccolo's own cheeks reddened, "Sorry?".
Vegeta rolled his eyes, waving a hand dismissing the matter, he turned on his heel "She'll be coming out to talk to you in a minuet-oh and Piccolo?".
Piccolo, smiling, replied quickly "Yes?".
"I like being her love slave" he said, grinning back at him over his shoulder.
Piccolo's eyes widened a bit, "Oh"
Bulma exited out into the garden, smiling at him and waving madly "Piccolo! YOU ARE SO CUTE!".
Piccolo backed up a bit, looking scarred "Hey Bulma".
Bulma sniffled, "It's so nice to see a middle aged Namek going out there and making something of himself!".
"Middle aged?" thought Piccolo indignantly.
"Of course I'll get you into College!" she exclaimed, grasping his hands "And we'll get you an apartment-ooh and you can have one of Trunks cars! Ooh and I know this fabulous designer who can help you model the apartment!".
"I'll pay you back" he said timidly.
"No need to worry about that just yet!" she beamed at him, "I AM just so glad to help!".
Bulma linked her arm with his and tugged him off inside the house, "This is just so fantabulous!".
"Yea.but really I don't need a car"
"Of course you do! You can't be flying from home to Campus!"
Piccolo scratched his cheek, his cheeks and ears tinted purple "Thanks Bulma" he said overwhelmed with it all.
"No need for thanks! You can represent me in court if I get sued!"
Piccolo had never really considered the blue haired bombshell 'mad' before but as her fingers dug into his arm, a crazed look on her face he was beginning to wonder.
"Bulma, you don't get out much do you?"
* * *
"PICCOLO'S GOING TO COLLEGE?!" exclaimed Gohan, spitting out his coffee.
Pan nodded quickly, "Yuh Huh, Bra told me".
They heard a soft sigh from the kitchen, Videl emerged with a dreamy expression "That is just so wonderful".
"You really think?" Gohan asked faintly, "Piccolo's not exactly-normal-you know?".
"Gohan! He'll be fine! Piccolo's strong-smart! He can take care of himself" Videl smiled.
"Yea.but it's not an everyday thing for a green alien to go to college."
"Well it wasn't an everyday thing for a half-alien to go to college" she countered.
"Yeah! But I could hide my appearance! He can't!" Gohan cried in worry.
Videl glared, "Gohan! Stop it! Appearance doesn't matter! They'll just have to get use to it!".
Gohan slouched in his seat, "Yes Honey" he replied weakly, with a nervous smile.
Pan shrugged, "At least I got use for that 'Working Woman Barbie' now".
Videl arched a brow, "Why's that honey?".
"I'm gonna color her green and shave off her hair!" grinned Pan before running off to her room.
Gohan blinked.
* * *
"Really-Bulma-I don't need my own place I can have a room mate" Piccolo said smiling warily at her as she scribbled circles around apartment ads, "I mean-then we could split the rent right?".
Bulma sighed, "You sure?".
Piccolo nodded quickly, "Uh-Huh" he fiddled with his fingers, starring at the newspaper page with interest "How about that-" he pointed at an add, "Room mate wanted-3 bedroom, 1 bath, nice neighborhood Koori Acres".
Bulma raised her brows, her eyes scanning the ad "Looks good, call it up".
Piccolo hesitantly took the phone, "Err-". Bulma's slender hand slid onto the receiver, typing in the number, "There yeh go, hon".
Piccolo brought the receiver to his ear and listened intently to the long rings, a sly voice sounded on the other end, "Hello?".
"Hello" grunted Piccolo awkwardly, "You have an add for a room mate".
"Oh yeah.you interested?" the voice purred on the other end.
Piccolo nodded briskly, "Yeah".
"Do you want to meet?" the voice asked lazily.
Piccolo looked to Bulma who was sitting close listening, she nodded to him, "Ok" he muttered.
"Lets meet at the apartment, in 20 minuets"
Piccolo nodded again, "Chotto Matte" he said quickly, setting the phone down. He wrung his hands, burrowing his brow thoughtfully.
Bulma smiled lightly, "Mini iko-yo" she said brightly, "Lets go do this!".
Piccolo nodded meekly, he picked the phone back up "So-dane!".
"Fine" the voice sighed, "See you then".
Dial tone.
"Gomen, Bulma" he said gratefully, "This means a lot".
"No problem-VEGGIE!!!" she hollered "WE'RE GOING OUT!!!".
A distant grunt was her response.
Bulma snatched her purse, "This'll be so much fun!" she said happily, taking his hand.
Piccolo nodded.
* * *
(Chotto Matte: Wait a sec Mini iko-yo: Let's go look So-dane: Okay! (sure) Gomen: Thank you)
* * *
Bulma made her way up the stair case pulling piccolo eagerly behind her. They came to a halt in front of the apartment, piccolo panting.
"Come on piccolo aren't you just a little excited?" Bulma asked smiling
"Well, yeah I guess." Piccolo said blushing and staring down at the ground, gaining interest in his feet.
"Ooh look here he comes!" Bulma yelled playfully. Piccolo glimpsed up slowly, his expression quickly changing. It was.