Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix

by David305

In 2002, while awaiting the 5th book, we all conjectured on the meaning of the title "Order of the Phoenix." I devised 12 Ficlets, in 7 Chapters: far-fetched puns based on the fifth book title! In amazed response to the continued pestering of kind readers, my wandering brain found another, #12. Hope you enjoy.

5. Phoenix, the Next Generation ficlet 10

HP&tOotP ficlet 10

Harry was puzzled when Mabel, his new pet phoenix, began gathering scraps of straw and parchment; but he was delighted when he saw a little golden egg amidst the scraps. It was apparent that Mabel was expecting a phoenix chick - a very rare event. "I wonder if Fawkes will be handing out unburnable cigars!" Harry thought.

After nesting for two weeks, Mabel began to sing her beautiful phoenix song continuously, and all the kids in Gryffindor tower started dropping by to hear it, as it gave them such pleasure. Suddenly, though, on a Sunday evening, she stopped abruptly. Harry and Ron heard a crunching sound, and Harry pushed aside some of Mabel's belly-feathers and saw a scrawny little chick, wobbling its head around, huddled in the nest surrounded by broken eggshells.

"Nice work, girl!" Harry smiled at Mabel, stroking her head, and she closed her eyes and trilled softly. "Hey, Ron, what does a mother phoenix feed her chick?"

"Haven't a clue," said Ron, "why don't you ask Hermione or Hagrid?"

"Good idea," said Harry. As Hermione was closer, he went down to the common room. "Oi, Hermione, Mabel's chick has hatched! What does it need for food?"

"That's great, Harry, I'll come see it shortly, after I look something up," Hermione replied. She ran up the girls' staircase, and came back down carrying a book. "It says here that phoenixes don't need to forage to feed their young. Come on, I'll show you." With that, she ascended the boys' staircase to Harry and Ron's dorm, Harry following behind her.

Hermione walked over to Mabel, smiled and scratched her head; Mabel warbled a friendly greeting. Then she reached under Mabel, and pushed aside her belly feathers. "Not really a cute chick," she said, "but it'll be beautiful shortly when it's feathers grow in. Now, look here, Harry. See this little ridge on her belly, just forward of her tail?" Harry knelt down beside her to see. "Phoenixes are the only bird that has a kind of mammary gland. They produce a rich substance very much like mammals' milk, so they don't need to forage for their chicks!"

"You don't mean -" Harry paused for effect, winking at Hermione - "that this is -

The UDDER of the Phoenix?!"

Ron looked up, turning red. Sputtering, he ran for the door, yelling, "Aaaaaaah!"

Harry smirked at Hermione, and said, "Stop me before I pun again!"