Author's Note: One more chapter and then it's done! Have you noticed I've left out detail with stuff they do at school? I did that for a reason, cuz I'd like it to flow smoothly with the next book and obviously I don't know what's going to happen. This way, it's like a behind the scenes kinda thing. Review and tell me what you think!
An Understanding of the Heart
"If you ever need to talk or just require a different atmosphere, my door is always open, okay?"
Harry mulled her words over as he descended the marble steps to Madigan's classroom. It had been a month since he had spoken to her, classes had gone on as usual and she had gone back to her old attitude. It was like there were two sides to Professor Madigan, her frostiness the rest of the world knew her as and the crying little girl that, Harry assumed, she showed only to him. Harry just hoped he wouldn't meet her frosty side at the end of the hall but he also didn't want to witness her crying again, it would be Cho Chang all over. Harry sighed at the thought of Cho, she had been his first crush and now the two could barely look at each other. Why did girls make everything so complicated?
Harry sighed again, he had reached Madigan's door. He felt reluctant to turn the knob but knew out of everyone Madigan was the only one he could share this with. He briefly thought about knocking first but went with trying the door and stepping inside instead.
Professor Madigan's classroom was empty and the only light emitted from a lantern on her desk. Harry stopped before the words escaped his mouth.
There were voices.
Harry quietly weaved his way around the desks and crept up the steps to Madigan's office door. It was ajar just a sliver but it was enough for Harry to peek inside.
Dumbledore and Madigan were having a heated argument, well Madigan was, Dumbledore just stood in silence listening.
"I could be useful! I really could!" Madigan pleaded.
"Shh. For one moment please and listen to what I have to say." Dumbledore massaged his temples. "I do not doubt your capabilities but I feel you are too unstable." he told her bluntly. "Now if we may end this, you have a student waiting for you."
Harry barely had time to jump back and look innocent before Dumbledore opened the door and stepped out.
Madigan peeked around the wall and was surprised to see Harry standing on the bottom step. Dumbledore nodded at Harry as he passed. Once Dumbledore had left, Madigan ushered Harry into her office.
"What was that about?" Harry asked as he sat down.
"Oh, just being rejected from the Order of the Phoenix again." She said airily as she passed him a plate of sugar cookies and conjured up a mug of Butterbeer for each of them.
"So what's on your mind? I thought maybe I'd scared you away last time." She said sitting down.
"No." Harry mumbled as he took a swig from his mug. He looked at his feet for inspiration before speaking. "I've been having dreams," he paused, "about Sirius." He looked at Madigan, she sat upright awaiting his next words. "I keep having dreams about everything we've been through. And sometimes they're happy about what could have happened if Wormtail hadn't got away and other times they end in his death." Harry's voice cracked at the last. "What do you think they mean?" He looked into her cobalt eyes.
"I honestly don't know Harry. I'm sorry but if it's any consolation, I've been having dreams as well." It was Madigan's turn to remove her gaze. "They're mostly about experiences I had at school and like you, sometimes they ended in his death."
The two sat in silence staring at their feet.
"So that's how you knew him." Harry mumbled then lifted his gaze back to Madigan,
"I've only seen him once when he was at Hogwarts, through the Pensieve in Snape's office." He added hastily.
"Oh? What did you see?" Madigan's eyes glittered with interest.
"I saw Sirius, Lupin, Snape, Wormtail and my father taking their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.s."
Madigan looked thoughtful and smiled warmly. "I remember that."
"You were there?" Harry asked taken aback.
She laughed like a schoolgirl and a grin spread across her face. "Oh yes. I was sitting behind Sirius. What else did you see?"
"I saw them leave the castle and sit by the lake." Harry was straying into dangerous territory, Snape had told him never to tell...
"Yes, yes, and James was playing with that god awful Snitch wasn't he?" She clasped her hands together.
"Yeah, that's right." Harry grinned now.
"He was such an airhead." Madigan chuckled. "James was always showing off for the girls." She laughed again, "More importantly Lily."
"You knew my mother too?" Harry's eyes lit up.
Madigan nodded, "Oh yes, we were mates. She was a very good person Harry. She was always looking out for others and made sure everyone around her was treated equally." Madigan was thoughtful now. "Like that day..."
Harry frowned, was she going to say what he thought she was?
"James was picking on Severus and Lily rose to defend him. But I guess you saw all that did you not?" She looked at Harry.
"Yeah, I saw what happened." Remembering how his father had acted was a swift punch in the gut.
"Harry, I'm sure you're not proud of how your father acted that day." Madigan said sensing his downcast aura. "Boys will be boys right? Ugh, what a horrible excuse." She looked to the ceiling, "People do stupid things, and I'm sure if they could go back and change what they did wrong they would, all right?"
"Yeah." Harry occupied himself with a cookie.
"Besides, James grew out of it and let the goodness in him shine through. And he did change didn't he? Otherwise Lily would never have married him." Madigan grew quiet again then spoke, "Did you see anything else?"
"No. That was all."
"Oh." They were quiet again. Then Madigan cleared her throat.
"If you don't mind, could you tell me about your experiences with Sirius?" She looked to Harry, who was munching quietly on a cookie. He looked up at her.
"If you don't want to, that's fine." She added.
"No, it's alright I don't mind at all."
So Harry told Willow everything that had happened between he and Sirius. Relating each experience in detail but when he got to the day of his dream he stopped.
"So that's everything." Harry took a big gulp of his Butterbeer.
"Hmm." Willow still smiled thoughtfully as she ran her index finger around the rim of her mug.
"What was he like when he was my age?"
"He was very amusing." She chuckled. "And I always laughed at his jokes, no matter how stupid or how many times I had heard them." She smiled again.
"Well, you know what he looked like. Very, very handsome." She sighed looking dreamily nowhere in particular. "I loved his laugh, like his voice it was strong, warm and inviting." Harry nodded; he loved Sirius' laughter too.
"But anyway enough rambling. He was a kind person but like your father he loved a good joke far more than thinking about what the person who was being tricked felt. I remember one time they tied a rope across the steps of one of the staircases, so that when someone used them they would trip and fall the rest of the way down. Not very funny when you think about it. Well, I was walking down those stairs when Remus called out to me, 'Oy, Willow!' I turned but continued down the steps. I tripped and was in the process of colliding with the stone when Sirius caught me."
She blushed furiously but Harry didn't notice, "He helped me stand up right and we stood there in each other's arms until James, Remus and Peter burst from their hiding places. 'What did you tip her off for?' James said as he smacked Remus and then turned on Sirius saying, 'Why'd you catch her?'"
"What did Sirius say?"
"Well, he shrugged."
"That's all?" Harry asked outraged.
Madigan nodded. "And then they went and huddled in a corner whispering."
"You're kidding."
Madigan shook her head.
"Were you ever the butt of any of their jokes again?"
"Nope." She smiled. "That reminds me, one time when we had a dance, James and Sirius weren't allowed to go." She laughed.
"What did they do?"
Madigan was still laughing, "They sent a Howler to everyone they disliked disguised as love notes. It would say something mushy then call the reader names and shout obscenities. When James and Sirius found out they couldn't go to the dance because of it, they placed fireworks in all the lavatories and so when anyone went into a stall they went off." Tears streamed down her eyes as she continued to laugh, Harry laughed with her.
"What about Lupin?" Harry asked.
"Remus?" She wiped her eyes, "He probably thought better of it since he was at the dance. In my pursuit of Sirius I found Remus and was asked to dance myself." Madigan continued smiling.
Harry smiled too, "How long have you known them?"
"Well, I can't say I know them personally, knew of them more like. But I've known them since my first year. I know there's loads of stuff they did without my knowledge, you should ask them sometime--I mean, you should ask Remus." Madigan grew quiet and so did Harry, they both had forgotten that neither James nor Sirius existed any longer. Madigan checked her watch. "By god Harry, it's nearly midnight! You've got to get to bed, it's after curfew." Harry jumped up with her and they strode out of her office.
"I'll walk you to your dorm."
"Thanks, Filch'd love to get me expelled for walking the halls at night."
At the Fat Lady they said their good nights and Harry disappeared behind the portrait. Harry barely had time to turn around before Ron and Hermione were upon him.
"Where have you been?" Ron grabbed Harry.
"We've been worried about you." Hermione added.
"I've been talking to Professor Madigan. There's no need to worry." Harry pulled away from Ron and headed up to his four poster bed.
Hermione and Ron stared after him and Hermione turned and went to her own bed while Ron followed Harry. Who was putting his pajamas on when Ron walked in.
"What's up with you Harry?" He asked as he sat down on his mattress.
"Nothing's up." Harry climbed into bed and rolled onto his side away from Ron.
"Harry, if something's wrong you'll tell us right?" Ron crawled under his covers staring at Harry's back.
"Of course. Goodnight Ron."