Chapter Three
Faith hugged her knees closer to her and stared off into the darkness. She hated it here. She lived in darkness for too long. At least in her cell, there was light and she could hear other people talking with her Slayer hearing and Jacinda would always talk to her about her time before she was in prison. Sure, she would ignore her and other inmates, but the endless drone of noise was something that can take her mind off of, well, her own mind. But here, in the darkness, she could hear nothing but the thoughts in her head and feel only the slow burn in her hands as her Slayer healing tried to fix it and her stomach gnawing away at itself. However, she knew her hands weren't going to heal properly. Her Slayer healing had nothing to use because of her lack of food, but it was trying anyway.
Fucking idiot, you think you deserve any better? came the unbidden thought through her head. C'mon, Faithy, you killed people. And you loved it.
"No," she whispered hoarsely.
You loved the way the light would dim from their eyes as their soul left their body, their last breath as it tickled your face. You loved causing pain. You loved knowing how much control you had over it. Remember good ol' Wes?
"Shut up!" Faith clenched her eyes shut, forcing her thoughts to go away. How can you silence your own brain?
You never had control did you? The only control you did have was how much pain you could cause. Shallow cuts. Deep cuts. All so you could ignore the pain you feel inside.
"ARGH!!!!"
Like water coming over her head, she could feel the anger and rage towards herself consume her, drowning her. Faith shot up from the ground, intent on finding a way to drown the pain she felt inside.
No one here to hurt, Faithy, what are you going to do, the voice in her head mocked.
Her answer was simple. Her fist crashed against the metal plated concrete, again and again, never in the same spot. She didn't care about the damage it was causing to her hands or the noise she was making. All she cared about was drowning out the pain and guilt she felt inside. She didn't see the door open and two guards standing there calling her name. She didn't hear them. She couldn't. But she did feel a blow across her shoulder. She spun around and was met with another blow across the chest. Then another and another. She let herself feel the pain. Anything was better than what she felt inside. She fell to her knees and she felt the last blow fall at the base of her neck, rendering her unconscious and into the dreaded darkness.
* * *
"Dawn! You have five minutes to get down here or you'll be late for school!"
Buffy slipped on her jacket and waited impatiently next to the front door. Her hazel-green eyes looked everywhere except the living room, the place where she lost her mother, and failed to save her. Dawn's pounding footsteps diverted Buffy's attention away from those painful thoughts.
The blonde Slayer took a deep breath and forced a weak smile as she gazed at her sister. "You ready?"
Dawn nodded quickly and moved towards the front door, trying to get outside as quick as possible. However, Buffy quickly placed an arm over the door. Dawn glanced up at her irritatingly.
"Buffy…"
"Since when did you need a gym bag to go to school?" She crossed her arms and gazed questioningly at Dawn, her hazel-green eyes moving from Dawn's blue ones to the gym bag slung over her arm.
Dawn's eyes quickly flickered towards the living room and Buffy tensed. "I, um, I thought I could stay over at Janice's."
"Oh." Buffy didn't want to be around this place any more than Dawn did. Too many memories. It had only been two weeks since Joyce had passed away and the funeral, but still it hurt. "Dawn, you know it's too dangerous. Glory…"
"Then Willow and Tara's," Dawn quickly cut her off, her tone pleading.
Buffy couldn't argue with that. "Sure, if it's okay with them."
"Great. Thanks," Dawn replied awkwardly. She pulled the door open. "Gonna be late for school. Oh, and don't bother picking me up. Willow said she would."
"Oh. Ok." Buffy flinched inwardly at the deadness of her tone. She sounded more and more like an emotionless robot each day. She figured it was due to the fact that her emotions were slowly being drained by the events in her life.
"Buffy," Dawn said softly.
Buffy shook herself out of her thoughts and looked at Dawn as if she saw her for the first time and raised a look at the annoyed expression the brunette was giving her. "Oh. Right. School."
"Yeah," Dawn replied, keeping the hurt out of her voice.
It was then that the phone started ringing. Both sisters stared at it as if it were a foreign object, unsure for a second of what that sound was. Buffy swallowed. She really didn't want to go in the living room to answer it. Maybe if she waited long enough the phone would stop ringing. If only she hadn't been standing around like an idiot they would have been out of the house by now.
"Dawn, just wait in the car. I'll answer it. It might be…" She let her words trail, her voice suddenly stuck in her throat.
Dawn nodded in understanding and disappeared out the front door. Buffy waited for a second, praying that the insistent ringing would stop. After a minute it didn't and Buffy used her Slayer speed to rush into the kitchen and use the phone there.
"Hello," she said shakily.
"Buffy! Ugh, thank god your home! I tried calling Giles, but he's not picking up," a surprisingly familiar voice said annoyingly.
"Cordelia," Buffy said incredulously.
* * *
"So, um, when you say tortured," Wesley tried to clarify. "You mean…"
"I mean hanging upside down by your ankles while your bare backs get shredded like yesterday's newspaper," Cordelia shot angrily. "C'mon, Wes, tell me you have something."
"And I'm hanging by my ankles with him," Gunn stated incredulously. "I don't know 'bout you, but that sounds kinda painful."
"And it'll be more painful when it's actually happening," Cordelia replied exasperatingly.
Wesley stood up, removing his glasses. "I may have a text on such demons and rituals such as those." He glanced at Cordelia and Gunn's anxious faces and he immediately deflated. "Sadly, they were in the books Angel took with him when he ah…"
"Fired our asses," Gunn offered. "What did your peeps in the Dale say? They gonna help us?"
Cordelia shrugged. "I don't know. Buffy and her gang has a demon goddess after their hides. Seems like they have enough to deal with."
"But you told them the sitch, right? That they're involved," Gunn questioned, his patience running low.
"Yes. Buffy said she'll see what she can do," Cordelia answered tiredly.
"And in the meantime we can just sit here while some thing is about to cause some serious mayhem, get captured and tortured, and wait until Angel and some chick named Faith comes to save our asses?" Gunn fumed.
Wesley flinched at Faith's name. "She's not just 'some chick'."
"Yeah, she's that broad Angel used to visit down at the Women's State Pen," Gunn replied. "What's the big?"
Cordelia and Wesley both tensed. They both had a history with the rogue Slayer and since she had turned herself in jail and was supposedly out of their hair for good, they hadn't bothered telling Gunn about her. They both exchanged looks and Wesley's face became grave while Cordelia's became uncomfortable.
"She's a Slayer, a rogue Slayer in fact," Wesley said with a grave tone. "She has killed and caused pain, which is why she is in jail now."
"But I thought Slayer's come in a rare, there-is-just-one package," Gunn replied.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Buffy died, came back, but activated Kendra. Kendra died and activated Faith. Faith goes psycho and starts killing people and goes to jail. Clear enough?"
"Crystal. So this psycho Slayer is supposed to save us?" Gunn shook his head. "Why am I not trusting that?"
"You shouldn't," Wesley stated with a severe tone. "She's unreliable and untrustworthy. In fact, I'm not surprised she wasn't working beside the demon in Cordelia's vision.
"Will you stop," Cordelia reprimanded, getting a shocked look from Wesley. "Yes, I know what she's done. Hello! I'm in the 'I-was-there-to-witness-the-whole-Mayor-psycho-evilness' department." She sighed and took a deep breath. "I know Faith's done some bad things, but at least she's in jail trying to pay back some of what she's done." She shifted uncomfortably in her sofa. "Besides, she kinda…dies…saving us."
The room was quiet for a moment. All the occupants left with their own thoughts about the dark Slayer.
"You didn't tell her did you." Wesley glared hard at Cordelia, who glared back. It was not a question.
Cordelia shook her head and Wesley looked away, uncomfortable at the ex-cheerleader's hard glare. She still had it. "I couldn't lay that on her right now. Whenever it comes to Faith…" Cordelia shook her head. "I don't know. Buffy goes psycho herself and loses focus." Wesley was about to speak but Cordelia quickly cut him off. "Look, her mom just died and some crazy demonic demon lady is after her sister. You want to add more stress to Buffy's life, then be my guest." She gestured to the cordless on the coffee table.
Wesley stared at it for a moment before sighing. "What I'm saying is that if Buffy knows Faith is in the mix, then she might want to come down here and put an end to this demon before Faith has a chance to get out of jail." He frowned as Cordelia's face remained impassive. "Gunn, I suggest we lay low until we get more information. Perhaps we are key elements to this demon's ritual and without us…"
"No weird apocalyptic end of the world," Gunn finished. "I get it." He shook his head as he grabbed his jacket. "Man, if I ever see Angel again I'm gonna ram a stake up his ass before I stake him with it."
They both shrugged on their jackets and moved towards the door, which swung open automatically thanks to Dennis. Wesley gave Cordelia one last pleading look before exiting her apartment. As soon as the door closed, Cordelia stared at the phone for a good ten minutes before giving a grunt of frustration and stretched out fully to lay on her couch.
* * *
"Buffy, what exactly did Cordelia say this demon looked like," Giles asked tiredly as he involuntarily took off his glasses and began polishing them.
Buffy stopped pacing, an anxious tired look on her face as she looked at her Watcher. "Red skin, black horns, yellow eyes, big, kinda satanic looking." She began pacing again. "Just find it so I can kill it."
"Easy for you to say with just your pacing," Anya muttered. "I have more important things to do than look at stuffy old books. Like counting my money…or…or checking inventory." Anya shrugged off the looks everyone was giving her. "Besides, there are many demons red skin, black horns, and yellow eyes."
"Maybe it is the devil," Willow replied softly, squeezing Tara's hand for security. "I mean…we live on the Hellmouth…it could be…could it?"
"No," Anya replied casually. "Despite popular beliefs, Satan doesn't actually look all…Satanic."
"You've actually seen the devil," Dawn exclaimed from her perch on the stairs.
"Well, I was a demon," Anya replied coolly. "I've met Lucifer on one or more occasions and other rulers of hell dimensions."
"Speaking of hell dimensions, does anybody remember that a hell-god is still after my sister," Buffy replied none too gently.
The room was deathly silent for a moment. Willow and Tara looking anxiously at a cover of a book, Giles was staring at his shoes, Dawn looked a little frightened since the mention of Glory, and Anya was being Anya.
Buffy took a heavy breath to calm her nerves, her voice softer as she spoke. "I'm sorry it's just…we still don't know anything about Glory and I don't have time to worry about another baddie we have no clue about." She started her way towards the training room. "Just find out what it is, its strengths and weaknesses so I could tell Cordy how to deal with it." With that she disappeared into the room.
"Okay, what I want to know is why Angel and his gang can't handle this themselves," Xander finally spoke. "I mean I thought he had his own thing down in L.A? Why did Dead-boy have to go and bring us into this?"
Giles cleared his throat. "Because Angel's gone missing and Cordelia has no one else to turn to. Wesley doesn't have the proper materials for…extensive research, and what Cordelia has told Buffy about her vision involves all of us." He made his way towards the training room. "Now, if you'll excuse me, there are matters I need to speak with Buffy about. I trust you will be able to continue the research without me."
Giles shut the door behind him and found Buffy already hammering away at the punching bag. He stood and watched her with fatherly pride for a moment. As a Watcher, it was his dream to train a Slayer so great as Buffy, even though he didn't like the way she handled things in the beginning.
"Buffy," he called softly.
A normal person wouldn't have heard him above the loud thudding as each of Buffy's hits found their mark. However, he knew that with her Slayer hearing she probably heard him come in. Buffy slowed her punches and finally steadied the bag so it didn't move, her back still facing him.
He knew that she was trying not to cry. She always had to be the strong one. The old Watcher knew that Buffy hadn't even cried yet, had time to mourn her mother's passing and it was weighing heavily on her. He could practically see her shoulders droop with the weight of the world nestled firmly between her shoulders. She had been through so much, seen so much in her young age that he wondered how she was holding it all together. Something always had to distract her from dealing with her personal problems. She always had something to take it out on, now was no different. She couldn't even deal with her mother's death because some demon had to appear and there was always the threat of Glory. He shook his head clear of those thoughts and was ready to ask what he came here to ask.
He took a tentative step closer, resisting the urge to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Buffy, is that all Cordelia told you about her vision?" The blonde nodded her head. "I feel that there is something missing. It doesn't make any sense."
Buffy finally turned around to face him, her face determined. "I know it doesn't, but that's all she'll tell me. The demon is going to kill Angel and mind-control us." Her voice was casual, like things like that were a normal occurrence, which they were. One of the many downsides of living on the Hellmouth.
Now onto the real question, the old Watcher thought grimly. "How are you and Dawn doing?"
Buffy stiffened and he could visibly see as a wall was put up. "Fine. Surviving. As well as any other people who lost their mother." Her voice was calm, calculated, like she had said this over and over before. "And have a hellgod after their baby sister." She turned around and punched the bag with brute Slayer force. "And also has to constantly protect the world everyday." Another punch. "And loses everything to fight." A kick. "And never…" Punch. "…gets a…" Punch. Kick. "…god damn…" Punch. Punch. "BREAK!" With a final kick the punching bag broke off it's chain and slammed into the rack of weapons, sending them scattering to the floor.
The blonde Slayer stared at the bag, breathing heavily, trying to collect herself and not breakdown in the middle of the training room. She felt comforting hands on her shoulders and turned around and buried her face into Gile's shoulder. The Watcher's arms instinctively came up around her, stroking her back in comfort.
"You haven't lost everything," he said softly, reassuring. "You have me, your friends, and your sister. All of which would follow you to the ends of the earth and back."
Buffy broke away from his embrace to look up at him, her eyes pleading and sad, but held no tears. "I don't know what I'm doing, Giles. I don't know how to take care of Dawn or the house or…anything. Mom…" Her voice cracked and she took a shaky breath. "Mom handled everything. I don't know how she raised to girls on her own and took care of the house. She made it look so easy." She shook her head as Giles tried to say something. "And I'm the Slayer. I have not time to be doing those things when I'm out slaying and protecting the world every night. And what if something happens to me. Who's going to take care of Dawn? Who's going to be there for her when I…when…"
"Shhh," Giles hushed her softly. "We're all here for you, Buffy. We all love you. We're all here to help you. I know a Slayer's life expectancy isn't long, but if it comes down to that, Dawn will not be alone."
Buffy sniffled back her tears and nodded. "Thank you, Giles." She shook her head as she gave a forced chuckle. "I don't know how the other Slayers survived without guys like you and the Scoobs."
Giles smiled. "They didn't."