Chapter Four

"Geez, Fai, what the hell did they do?"

Faith opened her eyes to find herself staring up at emerald green ones and groaned at the pain that shot through her head.

"She's got a mild concussion. I think Lewis hit her a little too hard and too much on the back of her head," came a hoarse, yet friendly voice.

Faith turned her head to see an old man, apparently a doctor, sitting at his desk. Her eyebrows rose in confusion. The last she remembered was going psycho in the pit and then guards wailing on her. Now she was in the infirmary. She figured the guards must have done a number on her. She held back a grin. Funny how she couldn't remember the pain then, but she sure as hell felt it now.

"Anyway, a British chick came by today to see ya, but since you were out she gave me the message to send to you," Jacinda replied. "She says you have a court appeal on Monday, three days from now. Good for you."

"Jace," Faith croaked, her throat dry. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Jacinda frowned and turned to the doc. "You sure it's just a concussion doc? Seems she got brain damage, too." She looked back at Faith with a lopsided grin. "Told ya, British chick…"

"No." Faith shook her head, but found it was a bad idea as her vision swam. "You shouldn't be here. Your girls…"

Jacinda waved her hand, cutting her off. "Es claro, Gina and the others know." She chuckled at Faith's startled look. "Guess I'm not as slick as I thought, huh? It's cool."

There came a short cough and both the girls turned to the doctor. "I think you should go now. She's not really supposed to be getting any visitors."

Jacinda nodded her understanding and moved to go.

"Jace," Faith called. The hispanic girl turned to face her with a questioning look. "Be careful."

Jacinda flashed a crooked grin. "I'll be 'five by five'."

With that she left the infirmary with Faith staring after her wondering what the hell was her deal. Nobody should be this caring towards her. She didn't even know the girl. Jacinda didn't know her and what she's done to be in jail in the first place.

If she did she'd probably stop talking with you, Faith thought grimly. Then again that won't exactly be a bad thing.

She looked at the old man as he approached her. He flipped open a clipboard as he looked her over.

"Does this hurt," he prodded the back of her head and she flinched as she felt the soft bruise. "Guess so." His eyes moved towards her chest and at first she thought the old man was checking out her rack, but she suddenly realized she had bandages covering her torso. "Bruised ribs from the guards' overuse of their beloved nightsticks."

"Oh."

He poked her with the tip of his pen but got no reaction from Faith other than a raised eyebrow. "Healed already huh?" His gaze moved to her hands, which were heavily bandaged. "Want to tell me what happened there?"

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Didn't the guards fill you in?"

The doc shook his bald head. "Nope. They just dropped you in here. Said you got in a fight, but I've been in here way too long to know the truth." He chuckled softly as he shook his head. "Inmates don't have anything to cause long, purple contusions in the shape of a nightstick." He gave her another inspection. "You haven't been eating well have you?"

You don't know the half of it, she thought dryly. Faith merely shook her head. "Kinda hard to with big, fat women in your way and about to bust your ass if you tried." And if you knew about Slayer metabolism, you'd know I've been starving for months.

"Mmm…" He made more notes on his clipboard. "Well, I'd say that besides the mild concussion as well as…mutilated hands…you're fit to leave the infirmary." He shrugged. "In prison standards anyway." He made more notes before grinning at her. "So, you feel like standing up while I give you a final initial checkup?"

Faith rolled her eyes. I knew it…all docs are pervs. "Sure, we both might get off on it." She slowly rolled off the bed and onto her feet, grinning at him cockily, some of the old Faith coming back. "I dunno, never done an old dude before, but there's a first for everything…you sure you're up for it?"

The doctor gave her a surprised look and laughed. "It's not what you think. Met my wife that way."

"Huh?" Faith raised an eyebrow as the doctor laughed and began explaining how he met his wife here in the infirmary.

Jacinda walked down into her row of cells, a small smile on her lips. She had been worried about Faith when she didn't return after her day's stay in the pit. Then she found out from one of the guards that she went psycho in the pit and couldn't calm her until they beat her into unconsciousness. Then she had a visit from her British lawyer and since Faith was still knocked out in the infirmary, Jacinda volunteered to take the message down to the young girl. She was kind of shocked to find Faith still out cold. She knew Faith had a lot of strength and sadly knew that the guards must have done a real good beating on her to get her unconscious.

Girl heals fast though, she thought idly.

As she neared the showers, an officer briskly walked outside with a satisfied smile on his face, which only meant he got the best damn lay in his life. That only meant one thing.

"Gina," she muttered as she entered the showers.

Sure enough, the blonde was waiting there with a couple of her girls in the corner, a sadistic smile plastered on their faces. That only meant trouble.

"Hey, what's going on," Jacinda asked casually.

Gina shrugged, but the smirk never left her face. "Guard told me Faith's gonna be released from the infirmary today. She's gonna wanna take a shower."

Jacinda frowned inwardly. "And the happy face on the nice officer?"

"Promised he'd give me ten minutes without eyes," Gina answered coolly. "Which means ten minutes of pain for the lil princess."

Shit, Jacinda cursed. Faith was going to walk right into a trap unless she did something about it. "Can't let you do that, chismosa."

"Yeah?" Gina strode up to her, brandishing a homemade knife and pressing the tip right into Jacinda's ribcage. "What are you going to do about it, bitch?"

Faith slowly made her way to her cell and glanced down at her hands. She had unwrapped them in the infirmary, much to the doctor's protest and found that the open wounds had healed, thanks to Slayer healing, but it could not get rid of the scars. The scars coated the backs of her hands in all shapes and sizes. She was surprised that she had skin around her knuckles at all. She thought she had punched straight through to the bone. The doc was surprised it had healed that much in the first place. He said it usually took weeks before the wounds were even closed because she had lost so much skin. Faith merely shrugged as she put back on her prison uniform after an overall checkup.

She froze as she reached her cell, seeing Gina and two other girls with her, but what caught her attention was that Gina was sporting a mean black eye and one of the girls had a bloody nose. That, and Gina also had a bloody shirt accompanied by a bloody knife dangling in her hands.

Wordlessly, Gina ran up to her and slashed Faith across the abdomen with the knife, right above the scar she already had from Buffy. Faith was too riveted on the bloody knife in Gina's hands to react, but it was already too late. As the searing pain burned through her flesh, she pushed Gina onto the two advancing girls and slowly backed away with wide eyes. The knife clattered out of her hands near Faith's feet and Faith picked it up, looking at it as if seeing it for the first time.

"What are you going to do Faith? Kill me?"

Faith shivered as a voice from the past came up to haunt her.

~ "What are you gonna do, B? Kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that…" ~

Gina merely laughed sadistically at her, breaking her out of her thoughts. "No one here to save you, Faith, not even your girlfriend. She's having a fun time herself in the showers."

Jace…no, Faith thought numbly.

She turned and ran towards the showers, her hand covering her open wound and another grasping the bloody knife. As she neared, she realized the showers were running. She swallowed back the lump in her throat and the pain coming from her ribcage and froze as she entered the showers.

No…oh God, no, she thought weakly.

There in the corner was Jacinda, lying in a pool of blood that was slowly washing away through the drain. Faith immediately was at her side, not caring about the gash in her side. It wasn't that deep anyway.

 "Jace…oh God…Jace!" Faith shook the girl in her arms, but knew she was dead by the coldness of the body. Why? Why her? But even as those thoughts crossed her mind she knew the answer. Because of me.

She felt tears well up in her eyes as she glanced at the body. Multiple cuts and bruises were all over Jacinda's once flawless olive skin. There were many deep stab wounds around the chest area, which blood was now weakly seeping out of. She had lost so much blood, there wasn't even a lot left in the body. Her green eyes were open, staring up at nothing. Eyes that once held mischief were now glazed with death. Her once red lips were now a pale color and slightly slacked open. Lips that moments ago had grinned in childlike play.

She looked helplessly at the blood and knife on her hands. She might as well have been the one that killed her. Suddenly, a voice broke the silence.

"Wilkins! Stay right where you are!"

~ "Faith, NO!"

Too late, the stake already ran it's course right into the man's chest and instead of imploding into a pile of dust, he stared up in horror at Faith as blood rushed out of the deep open wound.

"I didn't…I didn't know! I didn't know! ~

Davis and a stream of guards rushed into the shower. Faith just kneeled there, never taking her eyes off the body. Another person that cared about her was now dead because of her. There was no doubt in Faith's mind that Jacinda was dead because of being associated with her. She could feel the rage build up inside her again. Angry at herself at having let this happen. The darkness swept over her and she easily it win. She couldn't understand what the guards were saying to her. All she understood was that Jacinda was dead and it was her fault. There was more blood added to her hands and there was nothing she could do to wash it off. Her mind went numb reeling at all the losses she felt and the pain she's caused. Her mother. Her Watcher. Finch. The professor. Buffy. Wesley. And now Jace.

She felt the blows coming even before they connected, but she did nothing to acknowledge them or stop them. The guards beat her until she was a bruised and bloody mess on the shower floor. The blood from her own cut, bleeding nose and split lip mingled with the fading blood of her dead cellmate.

*           *           *

She was in darkness again. Alone, huddled against the corner. Defeated. She finally realized that she did belong here; swallowed in the darkness she thought she could just touch. Alone where she could cause no harm. Thoughts and faces of the dead flashed through her mind. The lopsided grin Jace had given her moments before she was killed. It reminded her so much of her own and it was the last time she would see her alive.

Dead because of you.

She clutched her head, shaking it, as if trying to shake out all the pain and memories.

God, you're so fucking stupid! You should have killed yourself when you had the chance. If you did, maybe Jace would still be alive!

"No," she muttered weakly before another voice came out of her past.

~ "What's the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die?" ~

That's the easy way out. Kill yourself now and you'll just cheat yourself out of all the misery you deserve. You think that's fair? She punched hard into the wall, breaking her knuckles and reopening scars and making new ones, before covering her face as tears came unbidden to her eyes. "It's not fair…"

She cried despairingly. Hot tears running shamefully down her face. She cried for Jacinda, her Watcher, Allen. She cried for everything she had done wrong. She cried at what she had let herself become. A plague of death and pain, meant only to destroy the lives of anyone she touched. Her body shook with the force of her tears. Tears she had never allowed herself to cry because she thought it was weak and unnecessary. But she now knew. She was the weak one. She was the unnecessary one. And she was here to pay for everything she did. Even though she knew it would never be enough. Her redemption was hopeless. She fell into her nightmares as soon as her tears had run its course. Faces and accusations of all those she's harmed flitting across her brain and she welcomed the darkness it brought with it.

The doors opened while she slept and two guards walked in with their nightsticks already out. She was accused of murder or being the accomplice of one and that wasn't taken lightly. Faith was rudely jolted awake by a kick to her ribs and they instantly bruised and a dark red stain spread over her prison uniform as her cut was reopened. Slayer healing wasn't working fast enough. Her first instinct was to naturally fight back, but her mind quickly rejected that, knowing she deserved worse. She didn't even cover herself as the blows rained down upon her over and over as the guards shouted at her, telling her she was a nothing, a murderer, a bitch. All of which did nothing but reinforce herself of what she already knew. When they left, she was in pain, but to her it was a delicious pain. She needed more, she needed to pay.

The guards came for her on the morning of the third day. They found Faith crouched in a corner. The wall around her pounded in with many holes and her hands raw and bleeding. There were dried tears and blood on her face and clothes. She had no more water left to give from all the tears she had spilled. She looked starved and dehydrated. She hadn't eaten or drank in days. Her face was pallid and white from loss of blood, her dark hair and eyes contrasting sharply making the fading bruises in her face stick out more. She didn't even know that they were there. She was mumbling quietly to herself, incoherently. The guards could only make out a few words of 'sorrys', 'pleases', and 'nothings'.

The guards exchanged glances. They definitely broke her in here. They didn't have time to clean her up completely. She had an appeal and a trial to go to within minutes. The dragged her out of the pit and splashed water onto her face to wake her up more fully. They quickly stripped her of her dirty clothes and dressed her in new ones that hung on her loosely. She didn't respond to it. They wiped up her face and hands as best they could and wrapped her hands with shredded cloth.

They escorted Faith in with her hands and feet shackled. She took slow painful steps to the table with her head held down and her greasy, tangled hair covering her face. She looked every bit a maniac, but more a lost, scared, and disoriented child. She sat down, trying not to wince in pain as her side burned, her mind becoming clearer as it forced its way out of the darkness and voices and faces that plagued her mind.

The trial began and she barely understood that they were talking about her. She could hear the D.A making his accusations at her for the murder of Jacinda Lopez. Then came Diana's turn, bringing out Davis for questioning and other inmates who she's only seen once or twice before. Then the doctor was brought up.

"She couldn't have," he said in his gruff yet kind voice. "She left the infirmary around twelve. The body was dead long before that judging by the amount of blood loss and the time the guards found them she couldn't have time to unless she can run from the infirmary to her cell block showers, have the time to cut herself with her own murder weapon that she could not possibly have the time to make, and beat the other three inmates and spatter them in the victim's blood in less than two minutes with a mild concussion. I'm sure you see the absurdity of it. It's just not possible."

There was more talking, more arguing, more pointing fingers back and forth, but Faith wasn't paying attention. Her mind was trying to claw its way out of the chaos in her mind, trying to be aware of what was going on around her, but Faith wouldn't let it. She had to stay impassive. She had to keep the others safe from herself. Then she felt someone's gentle hand on her arm, gently coaxing her to rise.

"Faith."

~ "Faith you killed a man!" ~

A voice called out to her over the one from her past; soft and soothing among the harsh din in her mind.

"Faith."

~ "I don't care!" ~

Faith's eyes snapped up, looking lost and confused as she looked at her British lawyer, Diana Rogers, who was looking at her with concern.

"Faith," she said again softly.

Faith looked around as if finally realizing where she was. Everybody was staring at her. The judge with his large, owlish eyes glaring down at her unmercifully. The jury with their withering condescending looks. The prosecutor with his accusing narrowed eyes. Then as if snapping from a trance, they all looked away and started filing out of the courtroom.

"Did you hear what they said Faith?" Diana looked at her with her calming blue eyes.

Faith barely understood the question and shook her head.

Diana smiled warmly. "They dropped all charges, Faith. You're free."

Faith's eyes widened in both shock and horror. "What?"

Diana nodded sympathetically, a small triumphant smile on her face and all Faith wanted to do was smack that smirk right off her face. "Come along, now Faith. I'm sure…"

"NO!" Faith yelled horrifically, grabbing Diana by the lapels of her tweed jacket, snapping the chains on her hands like a string. "I can't be…I can't…I've killed them…I've killed…" Her voice broke off as images swam before her, of blood and death. She also felt a fresh sting in her side, the sudden movement reopening her scar.

Diana gently placed her hands over Faiths and slowly and easily pulled the hysterical girl off her, accidentally taking the cloth around her hands with it.

"My god…" she gasped in horror as she beheld the fresh scars on Faith's hands as well as the blood that was slowly seeping through Faith's jumpsuit.

Faith looked down on them. "Look at what I've done!" She pleaded. "These hands! They've killed! Please, you can't…"

The judge, who was the last to leave the room, could only stare at her sadly as someone from the audience came and gathered the broken dark Slayer in his strong arms and exited the building. Faith didn't register who it was; all she could think about was that they were letting her out, they were setting a murderer free. Why? What happened? She didn't deserve this. She needed to be locked up. She needed to be kept away. She was placed in the backseat of a convertible and covered tenderly with a blanket. Her mind was numb from the fact that she, a disgusting bitch whore murderer, was free and her vision was blurred by unshed tears.

The drive was short, but Faith had managed to pass out from exhaustion. The blanket covering her was stained with her blood and tears. She slipped in and out of consciousness as she felt those strong arms lift her up and carry her like a newborn baby. She was too tired and weak to do anything, so she just laid there in those arms, hoping they would throw her off the edge of a cliff or break her neck or smother her. Anything. Anything other than being let back out into a world where she can cause more damage.

She could hear a door being knocked upon and it finally opened with a somewhat tired familiar voice answering, "What do you want?" followed by a gasp of horror and surprise and a murmured, "Oh my God…"

A voice above her (the one carrying her?) answered in an also familiar but quiet and serious tone, "Take care of her."

She felt those strong arms set her down on her feet. Her head swam with the quick motion and she felt herself start to tip forward. However, the slender arms of a woman immediately caught her.

*          *           *

Glory stood in front of her mirrors, admiring herself in a newly bought Chanel black dress. Her ugly rat-looking minions stood off to the side by the door as they listened to her talk about herself.

"I love the way this just forms on my body," Glory said in her usual sickly sweet blonde tone. "They say black is slimming. What do you think?" She turned to her minions and did a cute little twirl.

Her minions began to tremble in fear as one stepped forward to answer her. "I think it looks…perfect on you most…beautiful and slender one."

"Yes, most beautiful, oh worshipful one," chimed another minion.

"Yes, you look absolutely enticing," came another voice. This one was deep and strong, not at all like her minions.

Glory immediately spun around to face the stranger, an annoyed look crossing her features at being interrupted in the middle of a fitting. However, she saw that her minions were all gone and standing near the door was the red-skinned creature.

"Di, honey, what brings you to this side of the hellhole," she asked sweetly, though there was a peculiar hint of uneasiness in her tone. "I thought you and your kind were banished from this dimension over 2,000 years ago?" She chuckled almost nervously.

The great creature chuckled with her, amused. She took the distraction and rushed past him so fast it looked as though she disappeared. However, the creature was magically in front of her, blocking her way to the door. She halted in her tracks, almost crashing into his broad chest. She backed up slowly with a sweet smile on her face, but her eyes were fearful.

"Di, baby, you don't want to do this," Glory almost whined. "I'm this close to finding my damn Key." Her eyes suddenly grew wide as she thought of something. "Why don't we work together, huh? Unite…end the little feud…what do you say?" She wrung her hands tensely, waiting for his answer.

He tilted his head to one side as if considering it, but an evil grin spread across his face. "Sounds tempting, but I will never work with you. You and your kind are one of my sworn enemies." He stepped closer to her. "I hear you are after the Slayer? She has your Key?"

Glory looked utterly irritated at the mention of the Slayer. "Ugh…that little blonde bitch has my frickin Key and she won't tell me where it is!" She stomped her foot like a spoiled little five year old. She tilted her head to the side and placed her hands daintily on her hips. "C'mon Di, don't tell me your still doing that stupid world domination thing? Why the hell would you want to rule this idiotic dimension full of incompetent meatbags? All I want is to go home!"

He was quickly upon her, seizing her with one hand around her neck and lifting her up off her feet. "Then you must die."

*          *           *

"Why are you still here," the little brunette girl asked impatiently. "I thought I said to leave me alone."

 "You're never alone," the creature replied. "She's always here. She's the same as you." He gestured towards the little blonde girl next to him.

The brunette shook her head. "No. She doesn't like the dark."

"Oh, she does," the creature replied. "She just doesn't know it yet."

The girl thought for a moment, playing with the strings on her tattered shirt. "I could show her," she finally replied sheepishly.

The blonde girl looked up at the creature with her yellow eyes, an evil smile crossing her features. The creature smiled back down upon her. "This is your gift. You could show me later…it's too dark…when it's lighter."

The brunette tilted her head to one side. "I have to wait for sunrise?"

The blonde shook her head amusingly. "No. You just have to wait for Dawn."

*          *           *

A warm washcloth was placed upon her head, soothing her healing face. She sought to move her hands up to her head, but she found that they were tied down and so were her feet. Faith's eyes finally fluttered open and widened in shock as they focused on the person who was caring for her.

"Cordelia," Faith rasped. Her throat was so parched; she felt she hadn't drunk anything or ate anything in weeks, which actually partially true.

Cordelia shot her a menacing look, which Faith shrank back from. No wonder she was still tied up, Cordelia still hasn't forgiven her from her last visit in her house. And why should she? The former May queen wordlessly checked the rest of Faith's wounds and headed towards the door. Before she left, she stopped and half-faced Faith.

"Don't even think about escaping. Dennis won't be too kind this time around," Cordelia warned, her voice harsh.

"Dennis," Faith echoed confused.

Cordelia shot her an annoyed yet warning look before her eyes traveled to the left side of Faith. Faith followed her gaze and saw that there was an axe floating in the mid-air, ready to chop Faith's head off if she so much as moved the wrong way. Faith's eyes widened. Since when did Cordelia start using magic? She turned back to look at Cordelia and saw that the former cheerleader was looking at her with compassion and sympathy, but it was only for a second. Her eyes immediately hardened into daggers as she saw that Faith was looking at her.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything," Faith replied resignedly. Even if I did, death wouldn't be so bad.

Cordelia looked at her for a moment, not sure whether to believe her, but it was Faith after all and she decided against it. However, there was something in Faith's tone of voice that made Cordelia wonder about her. For the three days she took care of her, Faith had been unconscious, but talked in her sleep. She was always screaming about her mother, some girl named Jace, and other incoherent things. At first, Cordelia was reluctant to take care of Faith when Angel stopped by for that one brief moment, but after looking at Faith and what was done to her and what she had done to herself, Cordelia instantly showed sympathy for her. The former popular rich girl of Sunnydale High wondered what was done to her in prison. She never seen Faith cry, but she cried like a baby in her sleep.

A helpless, I'm-being-tortured-in-my-sleep, baby, Cordelia added.

Faith watched as a play of emotions ran riot on Cordelia's face. She could see how confused the other brunette was and Faith still could not believe that the ex-cheerleader was taking care of her and for how long, she did not know. Faith immediately began chewing her bottom lip, wanting to apologize for her past sins against this woman, but knew sorry isn't enough. Faith had to make amends somehow since she was no longer in prison and she remembered Angel once told her that it might be hard. However, Faith was grateful that Cordelia had taken care of her. The old Faith would have laughed right in her face for being so dumb, but Faith didn't want to be that anymore. She had to learn how to swallow her overwhelming pride.

"Cordelia," Faith called softly before the other brunette exited the room.

"What," Cordelia said tiredly, turning around to face the rogue.

Faith hesitated, still not knowing what she's supposed to say so she settled on the simplest thing. "Thank you."

*          *           *

The phone ringing jolted Buffy from her sleep. She looked at the clock and groaned. It was too late and she shoved a pillow over her head to drown out the annoying sound. After five minutes another annoying sound filled her ears.

"Buffy! Are you going to answer that! Geez, I have school in the morning," Dawn yelled sleepily from across the hall.

Sighing, Buffy rolled over and grabbed the phone out of the receiver. "What?!"

"Geez, Buffy, good morning to you too," came the annoyed voice on the other end. "If I had known you were this rude on the phone I wouldn't have bothered to call at all."
            "Cordelia," the blonde Slayer moaned exasperatingly. "What is it? Any bad news that couldn't wait until the morning?"

There was a pause on the other end, as if Cordelia was trying to think of what to say. "Buffy, before you react I need you to listen to everything I'm about to say…"

The seriousness in the ex-cheerleader's voice alerted Buffy immediately and she bolted upright. "What is it? What's wrong? Did the demon…"

"No," Cordelia quickly cut her off. "Listen, Buffy, Faith's out of jail. She's here in…"

But Buffy couldn't hear what else she was saying; the phone had slipped out of her hands at the mention of Faith being out of jail. Her heart started pounding furiously in her chest. Old anger and hate welled up inside her.

Why here? Why now? She thought angrily. God, I can't ever get a fucking break.

She dimly heard Cordelia's metallic voice calling to her from the phone that had slipped to the floor.

"Buffy…Buffy are you there? Hello?"