The tiny mall in Point Place, Wisconsin, was always inhabited by people of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. It was filled with shops with leisure suits, platform shoes, and velvet posters lined the windows of each one. The speakers from the ceiling played basically elevator music with the exception of a few Chicago tunes, Motown, and California Dreamin' about every other song. The only store that seemed different, mostly because of its distinct smell, was The Cheese Palace, and it's number one cheese maiden was outside the store, dressed like she was an extra in the movie Heidi, desperately trying to entice the public into buying an array of different cheeses.
" Everything's better with cheddar," Jackie replied, smiling at the public, in a corny rhyme " with Swiss, you just can't miss!"
At the same time, Hyde and some old lady who wanted to sample the Gouda walked up to her. The woman, who began to taste each little cube one by one, tried to depict the different flavors while Hyde snuck behind his girlfriend and began to kiss and suck on her neck all while the fifty-something hag savored the mallow.
" Steven, I'm working." she said through her giggles.
" So what? It's just cheese."
" Just because you can't appreciate Wisconsin in all it's dairy product producing glory doesn't mean others don't." she dead panned.
" Whatever. So, how goes my little cheese maiden today?"
"Pretty good. I aced my Physics quiz! At cheerleader practice this afternoon, Heather Marx attempted a round off, back handspring and fell right on her ass! It was hilarious. And Todd even gave me a $1.30 raise. I've been working here way too long, and dammit, I deserve a raise."
" So, all in all you had a good day?"
" Basically. It's even better now that you're here. How was your day?" she asked.
" Okay. I watched the Price Is Right this morning. Some retired Veteran got $1 twice on the big wheel. He got $10,000 and won a Trans Am! What old guy needs a Trans Am? Plus, he won that Hole-In-One game! You know the one that Bob Barker always hits the ball in on the first try! The guy predicts that a tube of Colgate is $1.07, and what does he get? A Trans Am! Kelso can tell you what the price of a tube of toothpaste is!" Hyde complained, doing some wild hand movements
She rolled her eyes " Anything else interesting happen?"
" Foreman gave Kelso this really awesome burn, Red called me dumbass and made me clean up the garage, and we could hear Fez and Laurie upstairs 'getting acquainted'. Man, those two are like freaking rabbits!"
" I thought Fez said Laurie still refused to give him any after that night in Michael's van?"
" Go figure, but you know Laurie is easy. Once a whore always a whore, I always say."
Jackie giggled. The woman, who was still sampling cheese, seemed to be listening in on their conversation.
" Can I help you?" Jackie asked, slightly irritated.
" Can I purchase a half a pound of Colby?"
" Madam, I just give out cheese on toothpicks. I don't work the cash register. I would ask the cashier inside the store." Jackie exclaimed arrogantly, giving her a toothy grin.
" I'll do that. By the way, your boss must be a real idiot to give you a raise."
Jackie huffed and opened her mouth widely in shock of the comment. " Bitch." she muttered.
Hyde just laughed. " Don't get all worked up over nothing."
" Over what?"
" That's my girl." he replied, giving her a soft kiss on the mouth.
" Hyde!" a voice shrieked during their kiss.
He lifted his head in search of the body that matched the voice that yelled his name. He saw Cat burning rubber while coming towards them. Great, he thought, just what I needed. Then, out of the corner of his eye. He saw his four friends walking near them as well.
" Busted!" he heard Eric yell.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
" I get it! All those times you were working, sitting in the basement, or going out with the guys you weren't exactly doing that were you? You were sneaking around behind my back going to see her!" Cat, ranted as the seven arrived in the basement.
" Not exactly." he said feigning innocence while looking down in order to dodge her glare.
" Whatever! You have pictures of her all in your room and I found this one in your car," she grabbed the Christmas photo from her purse and showed it to him " what do you say to that?"
" I say that this is mine!" he exclaimed snatching the picture from her hand and shoving it in his back pocket.
" Steven, you have pictures of me in your room? How sweet is that?!" Jackie replied, fluttering her long, dark, eye lashes, and still was dressed from work in her little, Dutch schoolgirl outfit including the matching wooden shoes.
" Shut-up, Barbie!" Cat snapped.
" Who are you calling Barbie? I believe I'm short and brunette not tall, blonde, and filled with silicon like someone we know!"
" Burn!" Kelso yelled.
" Well, at least I'm pretty. Hyde's the only decent looking one in this group. You're a smurf, Donna looks like a lumberjack, if it weren't for Pam Macy and half the cheerleading squad, I'd really be questioning Kelso's sexuality because he's just so pretty, Eric is a cross between Mick Jagger and Ringo Starr, and foreign freak looks like the disc jockey from Soul Train and talks like Mushmouth from Fat Albert!"
" Well, at least I'm not hairier than the forest goblin on H.R Puffnstuff.!" Fez yelled, referring to Hyde.
" Yeah, hey Hall! Oates called. He wants his Gerry curl back!" Eric whined, still feeling his nose wondering if he really did look like Ringo Starr.
" Foreman, are you really comparing me to the bisexuals known as Hall and Oates who sing 'Sara Smile'? Plus, I like H.R Puffnstuff."
" Hyde, the only reason why you like H.R Puffnstuff is because they really are puffing stuff," Donna reasoned " and by the way, Jackie is the only one who can call me a lumberjack, got it?"
" Hey, Hey, Hey it's Fat Albert!" Cat exclaimed sarcastically.
" Are you calling me fat, Silicon Boobs? Remember, I am a lumberjack after all." the redhead replied, smirking.
" I believe I am, Thunder Thighs." she countered.
Donna gasped. Kelso was still trying to figure out Cat's earlier insult because he was after all very pretty, Eric was still contemplating whether or not he had a big nose, and Fez was looking to Batman and Robin on his two shoulders looking for advice on whether or not he should insult Hyde again and risk getting his ass kicked or keeping his mouth shut. For Kelso, the lightbulb in his brain had officially been lit. Sometimes the gang thought Kelso had a mouse spinning a wheel inside his head rather than a full functioning brain.
" I am not gay! Just because I have bitchin' cheekbones does not mean I'm queer. Fez is the one that had the homo, erotic, sponge bath dream not me!" Kelso cried.
" We agreed that it was because I ate the cheese balls off the floor you son of a bitch!" Fez exclaimed.
" And about that thing with the cheerleaders, Just because I get a little action does not mean I'm all Tantric like Hyde and Jackie . . ." he stopped when he realized what he had just said " Uh-oh."
" Kelso!" Eric exclaimed punching him in the arm.
" Damn, Eric! I didn't mean to!" he exclaimed rubbing his sore spot.
At this time, they were quiet. Hyde knew he was busted, and Cat knew he was cheating on her. Kelso looked guilty for spilling his friends secret. He thought back to when he, Jackie, and the rest of the gang were going to Jackie's ski cabin for the weekend. He had made-out with Pam Macy behind the gym. He asked the gang to guess who had just made out with her. Hyde sarcastically responded, "Anyone with a quarter?" Jackie found out, they broke up, but eventually got back together when he 'heroically traveled' in the dead of winter to win her hand once more. He even got a good souvenir from that weekend. A cap that read 'Trucker Driver's Make Good Lovers'. He was such a nice guy!
" I knew it," Cat responded, disgusted " I had this sharp feeling in the pit of my stomach that you were, but I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. I should have listened to my instinct."
" We're over, right?" he asked, knowingly.
" Oh, yeah. We're over. Done. Finished. Go back to your little brunette Barbie doll."
" I will."
" You act like you're happy?" she asked unnerved.
" You know what? I think I am."
He looked over at Jackie and smiled. A sign of relief engulfed his features. He was truly happy.
The brunette's cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson. He never looked at her like that in front of anyone. He had always said, 'I've got a reputation to uphold.' The four friends looked at them in complete awe. Hyde was definitely turning into Eric. Cat grabbed her purse from the nearby lawn chair, huffed, and retreated from the basement bursting with anger.
" Steven, that was so incredibly sweet!" Jackie exclaimed wrapping her arms around his neck.
" It was not." he muttered stoical.
" It was too!"
" It was not. I am not sweet." he retorted.
" Aww, our little Hyde is growing up. There is a heart in there somewhere!" Donna chaffed in a baby-like voice.
" Shut-up." he ordered.
" We know you're getting all soft on us. What happened to the Hyde we know and love? I can't be the one responsible for all our naughty adventures simply due to the fact that I always get caught, or either Kelso has a slip of the tongue. And let's face it, we simply cannot let that happen! What happened to naughty, bad fun? We need masochism, man!" Eric ranted.
" Calm down, Erica! Just because I have a soft side doesn't necessarily mean that the bad side's gone. It's still here, and will come back to visit you real soon." Hyde countered and smirked.
" And speaking of welcoming back the bad side, you wanna go act like Fez and Laurie?" Jackies asked seductively.
" I knew there was always a reason why I liked you so much!" he replied as she took his hand and they ran out of the basement.
The four sat around in the basement with nothing to do as usual when Sonny and Cher ran out of the basement. It was as if nothing had changed. Kelso was saying something stupid about his new neighbor's Cocker Spaniel's litter of puppies, and licking the grape juice that ran down his wooden popsicle stick, Fez was whining incessantly about Laurie or how the new employee at the candy store at the mall refused to give him extra caramels or a second bag of Pop Rocks like the old manager did simply because he was their best customer, Eric was saying something sarcastic or about Red making him 'buckle down', and Donna was hitting Eric in the arm because of his sarcastic remark that Eric had no clue as to why she hit him or why she was making him sleep in his own bed tonight. In other words, all was well in Point Place, Wisconsin, in Eric Foreman's basement with none other than Eric Foreman, Steven Hyde, Donna Pinciotti, Jackie Burkhardt, Michael Kelso, and their foreign friend, Fez.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
" Thank you." Hyde said to the brunette beauty next to him.
" For what?" she asked.
" For forgiving me. For seeing the best in me. For telling me I had potential when no one else would. I kinda knew it all along, but no one ever really told me that I did until you happened. No matter how much I hate game shows, I thank Bob Barker every day, but now that I think about it;
That big wheel brainwashed me."
She giggled and removed her head from the pink pillowcase and laid it on his chest, snuggling close to him.
" You're welcome. You really do, you know. And not just because I love you either!"
" I know, and I love you too."
" Steven, I knew it!" she squealed " You do love me!"
" Yeah, Yeah." he grumbled.
" Say it again."
" No!"
" Again!"
" No."
" Steven, say it again!"
" I love you." he said almost inaudible.
" I can't hear you?" she exclaimed
" Fine! I love you! Are you happy?!" he cried.
" Ecstatic."
" You're turning me into Foreman."
" Good." she stated smugly.
" You know this summer? When you were in Acapulco with your Mom, and I was dating Cat here in Point Place?" he asked.
" You sure do know how to ruin the mood." she replied irritated at the mention of that name.
" Just listen. Not once did you send me a post card, letter, telegram, or anything!"
" When I said, 'if I could run down the beach into my own arms, I would' I meant it. No offense. I was angry. I needed some time to work things out, and when I got a good tan, drank one too many Tequila Sunrises, and one a couple of wet tee shirt contests. I realized that I didn't need to be alone, I didn't need to be by myself all the time, what I really needed was you."
" I would've accepted the one's that say Wish You Were Here on them!"
" Steven, all that really matters is that I'm here now."
With that, They captured each other's lips, drifting into another night of lovemaking that only this time wouldn't be a secret and didn't have to wish for anything anymore. Especially each other.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That It Is! The End. Finito! Absolute zero! Of course there is always the option of an epilogue, but that doesn't look likely! I am so thankful for all of you out there in FF land that reviewed my story. You are all very special to me! Special thanks to PixiePunk, Kashmir, Jaded Angel, Jaded, Starlight 77, Holycitygirl, Candy 07, Fireflower, and TinyDancer1! You guys reviewed every chapter. I give you major kudos, and I also give kudos to those who came darn close. I am currently working on a new piece, and I hope you all review just as faithfully as you did with this one. I can't forget to thank Marvin Gaye, Aerosmith, Todd Rundgren, U2, Led Zeppelin, Ted Nugent, The Eagles, David Bowie, Rod Stewart, Simon and Garfunkel, Elton John, and of course Pink Floyd for all my stolen titles and musical references. I also name dropped The Carpenters , Blue Oyster Cult, the Momma's and The Poppa's, Chicago, Jethro Tull, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles , Queen, The Rolling Stones, Billy Joel, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Sonny and Cher, and The Grateful Dead so thank you as well. If I named any other ridiculously famous musical visionaries, I thank too! I also did a little name dropping for the beautiful Farrah Fawcett, Cheryl Tiegs, Burt Reynolds, Jacklyn Smith, and television shows such as Saturday Night Live, The Brady Bunch, Petticoat Junction, Fat Albert, H.R. Puffnstuff, Rich Man- Poor Man, and the Price is Right. Let's not forget movies such as Star Wars, Smokey and The Bandit, Grease, The Omen, and a little tiny reference to Rebel Without a Cause. Read carefully because you just might miss it. I'd also like to thank all the good folks at Carsey-Werner. They make it all worth wild. No copyright infringement necessary for all of the lines and titles I've stolen from classic seventies entertainment. Who else can I thank? The Academy? Just kidding. In the words of Sally Field, " You like me! You really, really like me!" Ha-ha. Peace Out!