Chapter Seven

Faith finally found the strength to move her legs. She shakily made her way towards the vanity, wanting to see what had become of her to have Buffy running. The first thing she saw was her eyes, haunted and almost empty. Almost naturally those eyes filled with hate, not for Buffy but for herself. She could see the person she was staring back at her in those eyes, the person that loved to hurt others, killed others…She saw cheeks stained with tears. How could she cry? How could somebody as evil and dark as her cry? She could almost see the darkness clouding her eyes.

You must embrace the darkness

Faith could almost hear the words from her dream, floating around the edges of her mind like something lost. She continued to stare at herself in the mirror, hating what she saw, hating this person staring back at her. This person who seemed ruthless, a cold-blooded murderer. She could feel the rage churn inside her, like a living thing, waiting to be unleashed. Maybe she should let it out. Keeping it in had only gotten her in more trouble then she could imagine.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, calming her nerves. She concentrated on her rage, the darkness swirling inside her like a maddening wave. She had to accept that this was a part of her. A part of every Slayer, a part of them that kept them alive, gave them their strength, their passion for battle, the satisfaction after the kill, the lust for danger. Only Faith had taken it too far, she had taken a life; a human life. Not once, but twice. She had used her Slayer powers to her benefit, to cause destruction and pain, and for evil, the exact opposite of what her powers were for, of why she was Chosen. She already accepted that she was the Slayer, the 'one girl in all the world' with a burden so heavy she fell from its weight, but now she had to accept the darkness that came with being the Chosen One and not fight it.

She closed her eyes, focusing on the swirling darkness inside her. She could visualize it, seeing it like thick black water churning inside her, only it was alive. She could almost see it come out of her like a dark cloud of death. Suddenly she could feel something cold surround her. Faith's eyes shot open and her jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she saw the reflection in the mirror. Behind her, just like she visualized it, was a swirling mass of darkness. She concentrated harder, making it move to her will, surrounding her like a dark blanket of protection. The black mass then covered her, almost like it was swallowing her. All that could be seen was a great blob of black. It was still churning and moving, like something was struggling inside.

The darkness slowly started to disappear, or more likely, it looked like it was being absorbed. Soon all that was left was a sleek black panther. It was lean and kinda skinny, its ribs showing through its stretched skin, but still muscular. The only thing out of the ordinary with this panther was that it was larger than it was supposed to be. It was the size of a bear.

Whoa…what the fuck? Faith thought as she looked around, not realizing what happened.

All she knew was that she was a little bit too close to the ground than she should be. She glanced up towards the vanity and stood back up to face the mirror, only now she felt kinda awkward standing on her two feet. She let out a scream as she saw what was staring back at her in the mirror. A big black panther with green eyes and sharp gleaming teeth! The panther in the mirror roared instead of screamed.

Holy shit! This is very weird…very VERY weird, Faith thought as she continued to stare at her new form. I can still hear myself think…which is…good. This is actually kinda cool…

*           *           *          

Cordelia hastily made her way through the hallway, worried at what Buffy had done to Faith. All she knew was that Buffy had stormed down the steps with an unreadable expression, ignoring the questions thrown her way, and went out the door. Dawn had gotten a bit troubled so Willow took her to another room to calm her down a bit while Giles and Tara went out to make sure Buffy didn't do anything dumb while in her angered state. This left Cordelia to deal with Faith.

She found a broken down door and instantly made her way towards it. "Faith," she called quickly, stepping past the broken door. "Faith are you all ri…AHHHH!!!" Her question of concern immediately turned into a high-pitched scream as she saw a huge black panther leaning against the vanity and staring into the mirror.

She turned tail and was about to run back down the hall, but she heard Faith's voice calling back to her.

Cordelia wait! Stop screaming and don't run!

She froze and looked around. "Faith where are you?" She was slowly backing out of the room, the panther watching her almost amused.

Here, right here! It's me Faith!

"What," Cordelia exclaimed, the fear still rising in her nerves.

Yeah, I know…kinda weird huh? Are my lips moving?

"You're…you're a cat," Cordelia stated. She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. "No…you're lips aren't moving. I hear you in my head."

Cool…I'm a telepathic cat!

Cordelia looked at her, almost not believing her eyes. "Faith…how did you…what happened?" She was at a lost for words.

The panther leapt down from the vanity and stalked closer to Cordelia, making Cordelia a bit nervous. I'm not sure…I was just visualizing this rage I feel inside me and…poof…I'm an overgrown furball.

Cordelia took another step back, not wanting to be so close to a dangerous creature. "Can…can you change back?"

The panther cocked its head to one side, almost looking like a curious puppy. Even though it was a dangerous animal Cordelia thought it looked cute at that moment. Shit! I haven't even thought about that! Give me a second.

Before Cordelia could have time to blink there was a burst of what looked like black water come from the panther. Standing in its place was Faith with a huge grin on her face, the first one Cordelia's ever seen since she had gotten out of prison. Surrounding Faith was the black 'water' in huge droplets like it had frozen while exploding. The droplets then melded together into one huge swirling mass, and then as if everything were natural, it covered Faith like a second skin and disappeared.

"That was wicked cool," Faith exclaimed, sounding like a five-year-old who just gotten her very first pony ride. "I wonder what else I could do."

"How did you know you could do that," Cordelia asked suspiciously.

Faith shrugged. "Slayer dreams, I guess. This time without all the death and torment."

Cordelia gave a weak smile, remembering Faith's anguished screams as she slept. "That's good to hear." She paused, finally noticing the dried tears on Faith's cheek. It stood out stark against her pale skin. "What happened?"

"What," Faith said confused. She saw that Cordelia's eyes were on her cheek and she self-consciously moved a hand up wipe away the dried tears. "Oh, B and I had our little talk. Can't say it ended well." She avoided meeting Cordelia's eyes. "Not that I blame her. Kinda got it coming, though, didn't I?" She rolled her shoulders. "I'm still surprised you and the other Scoobies downstairs aren't racing up here with torches and pitchforks." She smiled shakily.

"Look, Faith," Cordelia started, her tone serious and she waited for Faith to face her before she continued. "I won't ever forget the things you've done because what you've done is unforgettable." Faith flinched like she was hit in the gut and her eyes found the floor again. "But it is forgivable," Cordelia finished with a smile at Faith's surprised look. "I forgive you Faith. We all make mistakes and sometimes the choices we make aren't good ones. Just make sure it doesn't happen again." Faith looked back up at her, her eyes shone with new tears and were full of gratefulness. "Now, c'mon. I'm sure Dawn is probably wondering if you're dead or not. Don't want to keep the little brat waiting." She headed out the door, Faith following a little ways behind her. "Besides," Cordelia continued over her shoulder. "I'm sure Giles would want a full report on those dreams…" She smiled inwardly as she heard Faith groan.

*           *           *

Giles stood up as he saw Cordelia and Faith make their way down the stairs. "Is everything quite all right? I heard screaming?"

"A really big black cat crossed my path," Cordelia replied sarcastically, winking at Faith. "I think I've gotten a million years of bad luck headed my way." She looked around. "So where's the blonde bitch and the witch's girlfriend?"

"What? Oh, um, Buffy and Tara are at the local gym. Buffy needed something to let off more steam before she returns here," Giles answered.

"I think she let out enough steam with Faith," Cordelia replied bitterly.

Giles immediately looked at Faith more closely, finally noticing the fading bruise from Buffy's punch last night, and then remembering that Buffy didn't have a mark on her. "Faith, I'm sorry about…"

Faith quickly waved him off. "Nah, Giles, you don't have to apologize for anything. People like me kinda got it coming. I should be the one with the 'sorrys'."

"No Faith you're wrong," Giles replied seriously and gravely. "We all did our fair share of hurting each other, except yours was more on a physical level while what we've done to you was more emotionally damaging." He held up his hand as Faith was about to interrupt again. "Let me finish. We all used you as a tool, not as a person, and certainly not like the lost little girl you were when you first arrived in Sunnydale. I should have seen it sooner, but we were all caught up with the trauma of Buffy leaving and what Angelus had done to us to notice that despite your tough charade you were lonely in the inside and needed a friend, a true friend. You wanted that from us, I can see that now, but we couldn't give that to you. We ignored you. We all played a part in your downward spiral and for that I apologize."

Faith was struck dumbfounded. She didn't expect to be forgiven so soon, so easily. She didn't think it was right. What Giles said was true, but she still didn't blame them for what happened. They didn't force her to stake Finch, kill the professor, and steal Buffy's body. Those were still her choices. Even though Finch was an accident, she was the Slayer and she was supposed to notice that he was human. Buffy had, but it was already too late by the time it registered in Faith's mind that Finch was human and not a vampire. However, she was so happy that Giles and Cordelia had forgiven her and were willing to give her a second, third, whatever chance. She felt tears once again sting her eyes.

God, I don't ever remember Angel mentioning redemption would get me so emotional, Faith thought as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

Giles cleared his throat, continuing. "And I must say, that I failed you as a friend and as a Watcher and I vow never to let that happen again."

"I agree," came another British voice.

Giles, Cordelia, and Faith turned towards the door. Standing tall and proud at the door was Wesley. Faith hid her face as the thought of what she had done to him rolled in her mind, almost making her vomit. She could feel her insides swimming, but what did he just say? He agreed? Did he forgive her too?

~ "I was your Watcher, Faith. - I know the real you - and even if you kill me, there is just one thing I want you to remember." ~

Wesley strode towards Faith purposefully. "I think it was all our faults you turned out the way you did. I think I may have played a major role in it myself. If I had not been a better Watcher, I would have seen what had been troubling you and put an end to it. Instead, I treated you like an animal and would have preferred you caged and shipped off like one." He puffed up his chest and gave a slight nod to Cordelia. "Besides, Cordelia filled me in on what has happened to you and I find myself right in my thoughts before. You were a sick, sick girl and you did have a chance at being reasoned with. I'm glad you've taken steps to change. Let's hope that does not change."

Faith nearly choked on her tears. Never in a million years had she expected this, not after what she's done to him. She'd wronged all these people, yes, but she had never tortured them like she had with Wesley almost to the point of death. It was almost worse than what Angelus had done to Giles and it made Faith's stomach lurch at the thought that she had been as evil as the Scourge of Europe. Things were happening too fast. They weren't supposed to forgive her, they were supposed to hate her, blame her, anything but this. This wasn't what she was expecting. This wasn't what she was preparing for. They believed she had changed. The only problem was getting herself to believe that. And ironically, she did not want them to lose faith in her.