CHAPTER ONE
Caffeine Highs and Girl Scout Cookies
Hiei yawned, sitting up in his bed. He looked at the window, which he had left open the night before. It was started to get light. Half asleep, Hiei got up. He stood for a second, yawning, before he fell over backwards, realizing he was too tired to get up. He'd stayed up until two in the morning as it was; now it was only seven A.M. and he was awake again.
'I wonder if those dimwits are all still awake downstairs. Idiots. Just because it's summer doesn't mean we don't sleep. And that's coming from me, of all people,' Hiei thought. He stayed in his bed for a few more minutes before forcing himself to get up. He changed his clothes and shuffled down three flights of stairs to the ground floor. Sure enough, he found Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Shadow gathered around a large table in the living room. All except Kuwabara were awake.
Hiei had known Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara for several years, but he had only met Shadow about a year ago. She was a half-demon, about as tall as Yusuke, with long black hair, red eyes, and she always wore black. She had a silver zigzag streak in her hair, which she insisted was natural but Hiei still had suspicions. True, he'd never found any hair dye anywhere in the house the time he'd searched. He'd found several other things he wished he hadn't, but no hair dye. Hiei lived in her house. He had the two top floors to himself, but he spent time downstairs too.
Now, when he came down the stairs, Hiei found his friends gathered around a large table, playing cards. The stench of coffee hung thickly in the air. The floor around Shadow was littered with empty 2-liter bottles that had been full of Mello Yello, Mountain Dew, and other highly caffinated sodas. There was a coffee maker plugged into the wall near Kurama. He and Yusuke had mugs beside them. Kuwabara was unconscious with his head on the table and a small trickle of drool coming from his mouth as he dreamed something, which Hiei was sure probably involved Kuwabara being some amazing world- saving hero. Between Yusuke and Kurama sat a container of sugar, almost completely empty. The table was littered with empty coffee cans and coffee machine filters. A pile of poker chips sat in the middle of the table, although it didn't look like any of them were playing poker.
Hiei stared at his friends. Kurama picked up his coffee mug, shaking slightly, and finished it in one swallow. Yusuke looked at him.
"Got any fours?" Yusuke asked.
"Go fish," Kurama said.
Yusuke reached across the table and picked up a card. He muttered some profanity as it wasn't the one he wanted. None of them seemed to notice Hiei, so he walked into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. After throwing some eggs into a frying pan, mixing up pancake batter and starting some pancakes, and putting some bacon in the microwave, Hiei walked back into the living room and leaned on the wall. Kurama twitched and looked around.
"Does anyone else smell that?" he asked after a minute.
"No," Yusuke said without even thinking. "Got any Jacks?"
"Go fish," Kurama said dryly, still sniffing the air.
"I smell something," Shadow said. Just then, the microwave beeped, signaling that Hiei's bacon was done. They all jumped ten feet in the air.
"Shoot," Hiei muttered, dashing into the kitchen to flip his eggs and pancakes before they turned black and stuck to the pan. Then he opened the microwave and turned his bacon before starting the timer again. He pulled a mug out of the cabinet and went into the living room to get some coffee. Still, nobody seemed to notice him. They all were either too tired or too spaced out on caffeine.
"Got any... threes?" Shadow asked.
Kurama flung a three across the table at her before getting up to refill his mug. Shadow stood up and walked into the kitchen, where Hiei was busily making pancakes. She walked in and stared at him, squinting.
"Hiei?"
"Good morning, Shadow."
"Morning?"
"Yeah, it's 7:30."
"Oh, wow," she muttered. She reached into the huge cooler and pulled out another two-liter, this time of orange soda, and shuffled back into the living room. She got there to find Yusuke looking through her cards. She didn't react. "Hey everybody, its 7:30 and Hiei is in the kitchen making pancakes."
"I want a pancake, Hiei!" Yusuke yelled.
Shadow suddenly looked terrified. She ran into the kitchen. She was barely through the doorway before Hiei shoved a plate stacked with pancakes at her.
"I'm not setting anything on fire. Have some pancakes."
Her jaw dropped, but she took the pancakes in her shaking hands and walked back into the living room. Kurama grabbed the plate from her and devoured the pancakes before Yusuke even knew she was coming back. Hiei came back in a few minutes later and sat down in the reclining chair, which Shadow usually killed him for sitting in. He had two plates stacked full of bacon, eggs, pancakes, cinnamon rolls, and other breakfast foods, plus some strange mystery meat which he decided to feed to Kuwabara when or if he woke up anytime soon.
He watched the card game for a while. In twenty minutes, Kurama and Yusuke had to refill their coffee mugs 5 times each, and Shadow went through 1 1/2 bottles of Mello Yello. Hiei finished his food and went back upstairs.
"What is their problem? They've been playing cards since 10:30 last night. Shadow's gonna go broke from buying all that stupid coffee and Mello Yello," Hiei muttered, saying that to no one in particular. Coming to a decision, he spun around and went straight back downstairs.
"Okay, people, you're all done playing cards, no matter what you say. You're all going to bed," Hiei announced to them. The three twitched several times and looked at him.
"Are you nuts?! I'm losing!" Shadow said.
"I'm winning. I must win before I leave," Kurama muttered. "Hey, do you have any nines?"
Shadow flung a nine across the table like it was a Chinese star and it hit Kurama in the head. He twitched before picking it up and setting it down on the table, along with another nine. He now had one card left. Hiei glared.
"You people have issues. If you want to go ahead and do your drugs, I won't stop you," Hiei said, annoyed. By the time he got to the second floor, he heard Shadow announce that they were going to have a caffeine tolerance battle.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Three hours later, Hiei walked downstairs to find Shadow and Kurama glaring at each other across the table, shaking horribly and barely able to hold their cups. Shadow was refilling her glass with Mountain Dew, shaking so badly that half of it went on the table. She passed the bottle to Kurama and he filled his glass. They both chugged them in about two seconds and continued filling their cups. Yusuke was lying on the floor, twitching slightly and muttering. The doorbell rang.
"Oh god, this better not be anything important," Hiei muttered. He walked to the door and pulled it open. Two girl scouts stood outside the door, smiling sweetly.
"Would you like to buy some cookies? Part of the money will be donated to a good cause!" one girl said, holding out a box.
'Good cause my shoe,' Hiei thought. He stared at the girls, who were smiling sweetly. "No. I don't want any of your stupid cookies."
"Are you sure? They're delicious!"
"Yes, I'm sure. No cookies," Hiei said, trying to close the door in their faces, but the girl pushed the door back open and put her foot in front of it so it couldn't close.
"You really should buy them, mister. Don't you care about giving money to a good cause?"
"No, not particularly," Hiei said.
"You should. Don't you care about anything?"
"Yes, I care about some stuff, but that's none of your business."
"Please tell me what you care about mister. I'm very interested," the second girl said, batting her eyelashes and smiling.
"Are you trying to seduce me?!" Hiei asked, thoroughly freaked out.
"Maybe," the girl said, stepping closer. Hiei backed away and tried to close the door, but the other girl's foot was still keeping it open. The second girl, the one trying to seduce Hiei, walked right up to him and took his hand in hers. Hiei was a little scared and a lot disgusted, and he tried to pull his hand away, but the girl hung on tight. She pulled him out the door. The first girl pulled it shut behind them and help the second one drag Hiei down the street. He was too freaked out to do anything about it. A van was parked right down the street with about twenty other girl scouts surrounding it, watching Hiei being dragged toward them, struggling. Ten girls walked forward and started pushing him toward the van; the other ten grabbed his arms and started dragging him.
'I'm being kidnapped,' Hiei thought fearfully. 'By girl scouts?!'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I know, it's incredibly strange. This just came into my head. First came the caffeine high idea, but when that didn't seem to be going anywhere, some idea just came into my mind. 'Girl scout cookies!!!' And this is where it led. I don't know whether or not to continue it. That's up to the people who read it and the reviews I get.
-Girl scouts are a conspiracy!!! They kidnap people and put them into their
cookies!!! Then they sell them to hide the evidence!!! RUN AWAY!!!
Caffeine Highs and Girl Scout Cookies
Hiei yawned, sitting up in his bed. He looked at the window, which he had left open the night before. It was started to get light. Half asleep, Hiei got up. He stood for a second, yawning, before he fell over backwards, realizing he was too tired to get up. He'd stayed up until two in the morning as it was; now it was only seven A.M. and he was awake again.
'I wonder if those dimwits are all still awake downstairs. Idiots. Just because it's summer doesn't mean we don't sleep. And that's coming from me, of all people,' Hiei thought. He stayed in his bed for a few more minutes before forcing himself to get up. He changed his clothes and shuffled down three flights of stairs to the ground floor. Sure enough, he found Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Shadow gathered around a large table in the living room. All except Kuwabara were awake.
Hiei had known Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara for several years, but he had only met Shadow about a year ago. She was a half-demon, about as tall as Yusuke, with long black hair, red eyes, and she always wore black. She had a silver zigzag streak in her hair, which she insisted was natural but Hiei still had suspicions. True, he'd never found any hair dye anywhere in the house the time he'd searched. He'd found several other things he wished he hadn't, but no hair dye. Hiei lived in her house. He had the two top floors to himself, but he spent time downstairs too.
Now, when he came down the stairs, Hiei found his friends gathered around a large table, playing cards. The stench of coffee hung thickly in the air. The floor around Shadow was littered with empty 2-liter bottles that had been full of Mello Yello, Mountain Dew, and other highly caffinated sodas. There was a coffee maker plugged into the wall near Kurama. He and Yusuke had mugs beside them. Kuwabara was unconscious with his head on the table and a small trickle of drool coming from his mouth as he dreamed something, which Hiei was sure probably involved Kuwabara being some amazing world- saving hero. Between Yusuke and Kurama sat a container of sugar, almost completely empty. The table was littered with empty coffee cans and coffee machine filters. A pile of poker chips sat in the middle of the table, although it didn't look like any of them were playing poker.
Hiei stared at his friends. Kurama picked up his coffee mug, shaking slightly, and finished it in one swallow. Yusuke looked at him.
"Got any fours?" Yusuke asked.
"Go fish," Kurama said.
Yusuke reached across the table and picked up a card. He muttered some profanity as it wasn't the one he wanted. None of them seemed to notice Hiei, so he walked into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. After throwing some eggs into a frying pan, mixing up pancake batter and starting some pancakes, and putting some bacon in the microwave, Hiei walked back into the living room and leaned on the wall. Kurama twitched and looked around.
"Does anyone else smell that?" he asked after a minute.
"No," Yusuke said without even thinking. "Got any Jacks?"
"Go fish," Kurama said dryly, still sniffing the air.
"I smell something," Shadow said. Just then, the microwave beeped, signaling that Hiei's bacon was done. They all jumped ten feet in the air.
"Shoot," Hiei muttered, dashing into the kitchen to flip his eggs and pancakes before they turned black and stuck to the pan. Then he opened the microwave and turned his bacon before starting the timer again. He pulled a mug out of the cabinet and went into the living room to get some coffee. Still, nobody seemed to notice him. They all were either too tired or too spaced out on caffeine.
"Got any... threes?" Shadow asked.
Kurama flung a three across the table at her before getting up to refill his mug. Shadow stood up and walked into the kitchen, where Hiei was busily making pancakes. She walked in and stared at him, squinting.
"Hiei?"
"Good morning, Shadow."
"Morning?"
"Yeah, it's 7:30."
"Oh, wow," she muttered. She reached into the huge cooler and pulled out another two-liter, this time of orange soda, and shuffled back into the living room. She got there to find Yusuke looking through her cards. She didn't react. "Hey everybody, its 7:30 and Hiei is in the kitchen making pancakes."
"I want a pancake, Hiei!" Yusuke yelled.
Shadow suddenly looked terrified. She ran into the kitchen. She was barely through the doorway before Hiei shoved a plate stacked with pancakes at her.
"I'm not setting anything on fire. Have some pancakes."
Her jaw dropped, but she took the pancakes in her shaking hands and walked back into the living room. Kurama grabbed the plate from her and devoured the pancakes before Yusuke even knew she was coming back. Hiei came back in a few minutes later and sat down in the reclining chair, which Shadow usually killed him for sitting in. He had two plates stacked full of bacon, eggs, pancakes, cinnamon rolls, and other breakfast foods, plus some strange mystery meat which he decided to feed to Kuwabara when or if he woke up anytime soon.
He watched the card game for a while. In twenty minutes, Kurama and Yusuke had to refill their coffee mugs 5 times each, and Shadow went through 1 1/2 bottles of Mello Yello. Hiei finished his food and went back upstairs.
"What is their problem? They've been playing cards since 10:30 last night. Shadow's gonna go broke from buying all that stupid coffee and Mello Yello," Hiei muttered, saying that to no one in particular. Coming to a decision, he spun around and went straight back downstairs.
"Okay, people, you're all done playing cards, no matter what you say. You're all going to bed," Hiei announced to them. The three twitched several times and looked at him.
"Are you nuts?! I'm losing!" Shadow said.
"I'm winning. I must win before I leave," Kurama muttered. "Hey, do you have any nines?"
Shadow flung a nine across the table like it was a Chinese star and it hit Kurama in the head. He twitched before picking it up and setting it down on the table, along with another nine. He now had one card left. Hiei glared.
"You people have issues. If you want to go ahead and do your drugs, I won't stop you," Hiei said, annoyed. By the time he got to the second floor, he heard Shadow announce that they were going to have a caffeine tolerance battle.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Three hours later, Hiei walked downstairs to find Shadow and Kurama glaring at each other across the table, shaking horribly and barely able to hold their cups. Shadow was refilling her glass with Mountain Dew, shaking so badly that half of it went on the table. She passed the bottle to Kurama and he filled his glass. They both chugged them in about two seconds and continued filling their cups. Yusuke was lying on the floor, twitching slightly and muttering. The doorbell rang.
"Oh god, this better not be anything important," Hiei muttered. He walked to the door and pulled it open. Two girl scouts stood outside the door, smiling sweetly.
"Would you like to buy some cookies? Part of the money will be donated to a good cause!" one girl said, holding out a box.
'Good cause my shoe,' Hiei thought. He stared at the girls, who were smiling sweetly. "No. I don't want any of your stupid cookies."
"Are you sure? They're delicious!"
"Yes, I'm sure. No cookies," Hiei said, trying to close the door in their faces, but the girl pushed the door back open and put her foot in front of it so it couldn't close.
"You really should buy them, mister. Don't you care about giving money to a good cause?"
"No, not particularly," Hiei said.
"You should. Don't you care about anything?"
"Yes, I care about some stuff, but that's none of your business."
"Please tell me what you care about mister. I'm very interested," the second girl said, batting her eyelashes and smiling.
"Are you trying to seduce me?!" Hiei asked, thoroughly freaked out.
"Maybe," the girl said, stepping closer. Hiei backed away and tried to close the door, but the other girl's foot was still keeping it open. The second girl, the one trying to seduce Hiei, walked right up to him and took his hand in hers. Hiei was a little scared and a lot disgusted, and he tried to pull his hand away, but the girl hung on tight. She pulled him out the door. The first girl pulled it shut behind them and help the second one drag Hiei down the street. He was too freaked out to do anything about it. A van was parked right down the street with about twenty other girl scouts surrounding it, watching Hiei being dragged toward them, struggling. Ten girls walked forward and started pushing him toward the van; the other ten grabbed his arms and started dragging him.
'I'm being kidnapped,' Hiei thought fearfully. 'By girl scouts?!'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I know, it's incredibly strange. This just came into my head. First came the caffeine high idea, but when that didn't seem to be going anywhere, some idea just came into my mind. 'Girl scout cookies!!!' And this is where it led. I don't know whether or not to continue it. That's up to the people who read it and the reviews I get.
-Girl scouts are a conspiracy!!! They kidnap people and put them into their
cookies!!! Then they sell them to hide the evidence!!! RUN AWAY!!!