A/N- Perhaps not the funniest chapter (I give that title to the Ghetto
chap). Don't get me wrong with this chap- Queen Latifah is my fav.
actress...she was the first image that came to my head when the Turkish man
said 'The Black Angel'. But...if someone has qualms with using an actress,
tell me calmly and I'll change it. Thank 'ee kindly, and feedback is
always appreciated.
Chapter Eight: Ah! The Queen!
Kurtis Trent opened the main door to the Sanitarium, stepped through, and swore as the door slammed shut behind him, catching his heel.
It was ever since he'd turned 12, that he'd been a klutz. His poor father, Konstantin, had tried to teach him how to use the Chirufly, but to no avail. The boy couldn't even catch the thing, let alone use it. And then, it hadn't helped, when a few years ago he'd broken that huge, record- breaking mirror the Australians had made. Not only was it 'bad luck', he wasn't allowed in Australia every again.
Yes, fate had dealt him a hard hand. 'But not this time,' he reasoned. 'I'm gonna get my mission done properly for once this time, and then maybe I'll even get the girl.'
Lost in thought, he didn't notice the bar sticking out in front of him until he was clotheslined and hit the ground. Then a mutant stopped beside him, so when he stood up, he hit that as well. Quickly shooting a round into the things head to vent his anger, he rushed into a room and shut the door. Sighing, he turned.
"Holy shit!" he cried, startled beyond words. A mutant sat on the bed in the corner, head in hands (or what looked like hands). Calmed down, Kurtis walked forwards and leaned on the wall . "Hey, take it easy," he said in an effort to appear 'cool'. "What's going on down here?"
"Proto's on the loose! Black angel's gonna kill us!"
"Black angel? Queen Latifah's here?!"
"The screamer, the Proto! Ahhhh!" He cowered again into his hands.
"Were you fed to that...um, to her?"
"Fed to it, yes. But not me. I'm safe here."
"How did you get here?"
"I didn't sign up for this, not devils and shadows! I'm just a truck driver!"
"What? You drove here?"
"Five days on the road from Turkey. Long way, long way."
"What did you bring? What were you carrying?"
"Death, in five tons of stone, four of which had nothing to do with the rock." He pulled a little bottle of liquor from under his pillow and struggled to pull off the cap. When he couldn't, since he had no fingers, he screamed in annoyance. Kurtis slipped the cap off for him.
"Right. Just keep the door locked," Kurtis said, heading back out.
"Wait, the door, it's still-"
Kurtis hit the metal and fell to the ground.
"-closed."
He twitched once. "I knew that."
*~*~*
Kurtis quickly found the place the Proto was heading; all he had to do was follow the black lingo, random screams, and array of bad outfits. But the room he reached was definately not what he was expecting; it was the power room, the room he'd been looking for all along.
Suddenly he heard a loud, "Shazzaam!" from behind, and turned, only to see the Black Angel, Queen Latifah, decending the stairs. In a hurry, he lowered the door and turned to go. A bang hit it, and then it collapsed all together. "Can't lock me out that easy, honey."
"No! Ahh!" He turned and tried to run for the power switch, but she dived and landed on top of him. "Get off, get off!" he shrieked, pulling out his Pampered Chef Shard. She skitted back when she saw it.
"Now, honey, you wouldn't use that sharp little kitchen knife on poor queenie, wouldja? All I wanted to do was touch those soft little pillows of heaven you call lips!"
"Never!" he cried, thrusting forwards and stabbing her in the head with the shard. She fell to the ground, whimpered, and deflated into a pile of goo. Kurtis removed his shard and grimaced, then went to turn the power off.
After flicking the switch, he was promptly electrocuted.
Chapter Eight: Ah! The Queen!
Kurtis Trent opened the main door to the Sanitarium, stepped through, and swore as the door slammed shut behind him, catching his heel.
It was ever since he'd turned 12, that he'd been a klutz. His poor father, Konstantin, had tried to teach him how to use the Chirufly, but to no avail. The boy couldn't even catch the thing, let alone use it. And then, it hadn't helped, when a few years ago he'd broken that huge, record- breaking mirror the Australians had made. Not only was it 'bad luck', he wasn't allowed in Australia every again.
Yes, fate had dealt him a hard hand. 'But not this time,' he reasoned. 'I'm gonna get my mission done properly for once this time, and then maybe I'll even get the girl.'
Lost in thought, he didn't notice the bar sticking out in front of him until he was clotheslined and hit the ground. Then a mutant stopped beside him, so when he stood up, he hit that as well. Quickly shooting a round into the things head to vent his anger, he rushed into a room and shut the door. Sighing, he turned.
"Holy shit!" he cried, startled beyond words. A mutant sat on the bed in the corner, head in hands (or what looked like hands). Calmed down, Kurtis walked forwards and leaned on the wall . "Hey, take it easy," he said in an effort to appear 'cool'. "What's going on down here?"
"Proto's on the loose! Black angel's gonna kill us!"
"Black angel? Queen Latifah's here?!"
"The screamer, the Proto! Ahhhh!" He cowered again into his hands.
"Were you fed to that...um, to her?"
"Fed to it, yes. But not me. I'm safe here."
"How did you get here?"
"I didn't sign up for this, not devils and shadows! I'm just a truck driver!"
"What? You drove here?"
"Five days on the road from Turkey. Long way, long way."
"What did you bring? What were you carrying?"
"Death, in five tons of stone, four of which had nothing to do with the rock." He pulled a little bottle of liquor from under his pillow and struggled to pull off the cap. When he couldn't, since he had no fingers, he screamed in annoyance. Kurtis slipped the cap off for him.
"Right. Just keep the door locked," Kurtis said, heading back out.
"Wait, the door, it's still-"
Kurtis hit the metal and fell to the ground.
"-closed."
He twitched once. "I knew that."
*~*~*
Kurtis quickly found the place the Proto was heading; all he had to do was follow the black lingo, random screams, and array of bad outfits. But the room he reached was definately not what he was expecting; it was the power room, the room he'd been looking for all along.
Suddenly he heard a loud, "Shazzaam!" from behind, and turned, only to see the Black Angel, Queen Latifah, decending the stairs. In a hurry, he lowered the door and turned to go. A bang hit it, and then it collapsed all together. "Can't lock me out that easy, honey."
"No! Ahh!" He turned and tried to run for the power switch, but she dived and landed on top of him. "Get off, get off!" he shrieked, pulling out his Pampered Chef Shard. She skitted back when she saw it.
"Now, honey, you wouldn't use that sharp little kitchen knife on poor queenie, wouldja? All I wanted to do was touch those soft little pillows of heaven you call lips!"
"Never!" he cried, thrusting forwards and stabbing her in the head with the shard. She fell to the ground, whimpered, and deflated into a pile of goo. Kurtis removed his shard and grimaced, then went to turn the power off.
After flicking the switch, he was promptly electrocuted.