Disclaimer: Dangermouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. I've been having THIS on my brain forever, and pardon the raw form of this fan fiction.
A Long Overdue Date
By Trynia Merin
This story takes place after Two of the Best, and Two of the Worst
Once Danger Mouse finished checking his emails and composing them, he shut the laptop off with a click. He wandered out of his study with the remains of his afternoon tea in hand, since Penfold had forgotten to clear them away. Down the hall in the main living room, he found Lori scribbling a note to her cousin Fifi like mad.
"Ahem, you seem to be having more trouble writing that note then you have defeating Greenback and Cam Eleon Rex combined," he coughed discreetly.
"Oh Dangermouse," she said with a groan. "What DO you say to a cousin you haven't see in close to 10 years, who's love live isn't ANYTHING like it was when she last described it to me."
"Well, just tell her the truth," Dangermouse said slowly, glancing around for any nosy parkers.
"Penfold's in his room, and I think Bagel's run off to hers," said Lori, her enhanced hearing, courtesy of the latest in American secret service cybernetic technologies, could tell.
"Well, just be honest," Dangermouse said softly, sitting down next to the American agent. Since she was the cousin of his ladylove, he began to look at her as family, quite possibly. Not those things had progressed to THAT point with Fifi… but soon… maybe.
"I feel like such an idiot," Lori sighed, twisting a lock of her blonde hair around her finger nervously. She wore a white exercise suit; similar in style to Dangermouse's except for the M6 logo over her right breast, and the blue piping down the arms and legs. Not to mention her curvaceous body was well flattered by the suit. Any agent would be glad to ask this girl out on a date, and he hoped she wouldn't mind the agent he had in mind, one of his old colleagues.
"Well she explained the whole situation to me," Dangermouse said in a whisper. "She always did know you wanted to be a singer. Before well, you decided to become a secret agent like your father."
"Hercule was the best, and so was my mom," Lori said softly, sighing as she looked at the White Wonder. "Did you ever have the chance to work with them? I know my mom was an American agent, and she met my father on a mission, when he was working for the French/Canadian secret service."
"Actually, I might have crossed paths with M4, your mum, and G26, your dad," Dangermouse said slowly. "But you have to understand that was YEARS ago, when I myself was just a rookie agent… and a lad. During that nastiness with Dr. Crumhorn, and the first time we encountered Baron Greenback."
"I wish they had told me they were agents," she whispered. "Then perhaps… I wouldn't have…"
"I read your file, if you don't' mind me mentioning so," Dangermouse said, resting a hand on her shoulder. Lori wiped away tears. "And if I'm not mistaken, Fifi was one of the few people in your family who knew of your desire to be a secret agent. when she and I… resumed contact; she told me about the young mouse who wanted to be an agent, and the fact that she admired your spirit. It was very difficult for her when you chose to enter the Service after your unfortunate accident."
"Which ended my singing career," she said softly, but memories stirred and she felt the whole story spilling out of her, although she knew that if Dangermouse had read her file he must know already. "I grew up in a circus DM. Mom and Dad… shortly after they had me. It was on some mission. And there was a big explosion… and well… I grew up for years not knowing they were alive, and in fact part of the witness protection program. Still acting as TOP-level agents. Do you have any idea what it's like to suddenly meet your parents when you're a teenager?"
"Well, I might have SOME idea," Dangermouse coughed. "And I do gather from reading your file, that it must not have been easy for you."
"JP isn't just my control agent," she said softly. "He knew my adoptive family. How I grew up adopted in that circus, because I had good athletic abilities at the orphanage. How I became a trapeze artist with the flying Vallendez Squirrels, and how I wanted to be a singer."
"Hmmm yes, I recall. You and your friends in the circus, Redford Roberts, and the young GR Bill. the band you formed… and how you traveled the world singing as an act of your own when you were just teenagers," he said, and then winced. "But your choice of music wasn't exactly… my taste."
"I know how you stand on rock," she laughed. "But what can you expect out of several 15 year old rodents?"
"But as a CIRCUS act?" the White Wonder laughed. "The Radical rodents, performing in CLOWN makeup as part of a three ring act? It doesn't exactly make Top of the Pops, you know…"
"I guess that's why Fifi and I were so close for so many years. We met when we were just young mice. the orphanage tracked her family down in France as my only living relatives. And when the circus traveled abroad in Europe, I met them for the first time. After that we kept touch… until… shortly before that horrible plane crash."
"When you were sixteen," Dangermouse added carefully. "And shortly after Fifi told you about her, and me."
"She WAS about five years older than me," Lori said, amazed at how open Dangermouse was being with her. "And she told me the whole story how you two had met. and how you left, and broke her heart."
"It was because she was family to two well-known agents," Danger Mouse reminisced. "At the time we were in the midst of a mission. And well… I told her that her Uncle Hercule was still alive. She couldn't believe it at first, but I had broken a major rule of etiquette, I had shared classified information with a civilian. She couldn't believe that I knew they were still alive, when she presumed her Uncle was dead. Because of that breach, I was asked to make her swear to secrecy. And for a long time, she couldn't forgive me for asking her to keep such a secret from the rest of her family."
"And that's why she never wrote to me, much more about you."
"She had taken a major risk telling you about me at all," Danger Mouse admitted. "And then I did what I could to make it right, contacting her parents through Colonel K."
"They claimed they never knew I was alive, till they heard about the plane crash," Lori said softly. "But I later found out they DID know I was alive all along. and they never came after me."
"I'm sorry Lori," the White Wonder apologized. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she cried. "If I had known, perhaps I might have done something, but the rules were different back then."
"All I can remember was being in that hospital room and being told I'd never walk again," Lori said. "And never be able to hear, and then I saw them… my parents, alive and well. They said that I had a choice: to walk again by the miracles of secret service experimental technology… and never see my circus family again, or go back to my life, as a disabled person."
"Lori…"
"How could I choose differently DM?" she asked, with tears in her eyes. "And why did they make me make such a heartless decision, didn't' they CARE about me?"
"It was the Cold War then," Dangermouse said helplessly.
"I never spoke to them after that," she whispered. "And I couldn't contact my family in the circus again. Therefore, I just… tried to put the past behind me… and focus on the new legs and tail, and ears that science gave me, and I forgot. I just wish I had a real family."
"I didn't mean to dredge up an unpleasant past," Dangermouse apologized, giving her a comforting embrace. "I may be the world's greatest secret agent, but in terms of delicate matters o the past, I must admit I am a washout. When all I meant to do was to tell you that Fifi is delighted to meet you, and catch you up about your family."
"The rules allow it?" she asked him.
"Well, let's just say that they relaxed them recently, because many agents were complaining about how lonely they were. Penfold here, well when he came to work for me, they had bent the rules enough to allow his family to visit when they liked. Provided they were sworn to secrecy. And well, since my adventures were well known, I was one of the FIRST secret agents who was known to the general public," Dangermouse chuckled nervously. "Colonel K thought it was a good PR experiment."
"Great," she laughed; wiping away tears as Dangermouse handed her the box of tissues from the table. "Lousy timing."
"Fifi also kept in touch with your parents," he said softly. "And I do think that she has a message for you from them, since you cutoff contact from them. And I think it would mean a lot to her and them if you read it."
"Are they alive or dead?' she asked.
"She'll tell you tonight," Dangermouse said mysteriously. "And since it's your family affair, I think it wise. Considering I made a hash of the whole situation just now… causing a rather nasty load of old memories to surface, that her delicacy might be better in this matter."
"You didn't mess things up DM," she said, looking at him. "You're probably the closest thing I have to family now, as crazy as it sounds. You and my cousin that is."
"I wouldn't go that far," he laughed nervously.
"I didn't have many people to look up to. The RATS became my next family… after I joined. And then when I met Bagel and was assigned with her as my assistant, they HAD changed the rules enough since I first joined, and I was able to meet her family."
"Hence your immersion to the delights of close knit hamster families?"
"I wondered WHAT had made them change the rules so quickly," she said slowly. "To let assistant agents have such close contact with their families, and JP told me it had something to do with them following the British example."
"Even IF they hadn't, Penfold's family are such a lot of… timid folk they'd be too scared to tell whatever secrets Penfold's let slip. And he's too frightened to even tell his own Aunt about half the things we've encountered," Dangermouse chuckled.
"In other words his cowardice is a good deterrent?" she laughed.
"As far as his family knows, I'm some glorified super hero, and he's my housekeeper and valet, and close friend," Dangermouse laughed. "A bit unfair perhaps, but not too far from the truth."
"He's also your family in a way," Lori said with a smile. "I mean he IS one of your best friends, and he's like a little brother… an ANNOYING little brother."
"I hadn't thought of it like that, which brings me to another matter, which should change this rather unpleasant subject," Dangermouse said. "I took the liberty of procuring you and your assistant tickets for tonight's show. Fifi insisted, and before you and she are to reunite, I thought it would be a good night off for all involved to enjoy the concert."
"She would love that," Lori smiled. "Whenever I WOULD buy tickets to see her in concert or try to contact her, something inextricably went wrong, and I always had to go save the world!"
"Funny coincidence that," said DM, rubbing his chin. "This brings me to the matter of your assistant. Apparently you've observed rather bizarre behavior, bordering on madness from Penfold as of late, and your assistant?"
"Since I don't know Penfold's normal reactions, how would I know better?" she laughed.
"He's unusually bold when it comes to certain things. Such as the fact that he claims he single-handedly rescued her from sudden danger," Dangermouse laughed. "And that's NOT in Penfold's nature. He's a self confessed coward."
"I take it he has a Jones on Bagel then?" Lori laughed. "I can't believe it! A welsh hamster has the hots for my assistant, a New York City gal!"
"Which leads me to my next point," he chuckled, unable to hide his amusement. "This is the first date he's ever been on, and he's going to be nervous."
"And you're asking if I can chaperone?" she laughed. "Bagel IS younger than me, but they ARE both adults. However, on second thought, they both are rather kids at heart. and she's not exactly experienced at dates either, and you're nominating ME?"
"I will be… preoccupied," DM hesitantly admitted. "And in such matters I might not have all my wits about me, considering the circumstances."
"So, I play chaperone to a pair of nervous neurotic love sick hamsters?" Lori laughed. "You really DO have it in for me, don't you?"
"I did take the further liberty of setting you up with one of my co agents, on a sort of date. I do hope you don't mind."
"Who is it?" she asked.
"Well, let's just say he's a master of disguise," he cleared his throat. "Personal relationships are difficult for him normally, because from one time to the next, he tends to change appearance. And seeing you are a master of unmasking criminals who are masters of disguise like Cam Elion, I figured it would be a good match…"
"So who or WHAT is he?" she asked.
"He goes by Agent 57," DM answered.
"Great, not just a BLIND date, but a REAL blind date," Lori laughed. "Seriously, you ARE a glutton for punishment when THIS night is over."
"You don't mind, do you? It would mean terribly much to him. He does tend to get lonely… as we all do."
"Sure I'll take out your friend, or since we're in Reserved England, where SOME social customs are backwards, I'll let him take me out. But you SURE you're not getting me into some crazy misadventure?" she chuckled.
"My dear Lori, you know how the lives of secret agents tend to get… complicated," he coughed knowingly.
"All right, you're on," she said. "What's the time and date?"
"I'll be driving us all out in the Mark III to the Albert Hall," Dangermouse said. "At eight o'clock sharp. In addition, we'll meet up with your date there. And then the relaxation, I HOPE will begin."
"Sounds like it will be SOME night to remember, between babysitting hamsters and dating MR. Mysterious," Lori grinned. "You do have an interesting circle of friends Dangermouse."
"Quite," Dangermouse laughed. "And now I trust we shall commence preparations, for operation Night off."
"Spot on," she said, copying the White Wonder's British expression. "This mission should we choose to accept it, and if we're captured I'm going to disavow ALL knowledge of it."
"I rather think that's the wrong show," he groaned at her bad joke.
By the time Bagel finished sewing on the missing sequins, she took the gown to Lori. After showing it to her friend she planned too scuttle off to find something for herself to wear. However Lori stopped her friend and said, "This looks great! Thanks!"
"Anytime," she nodded. "You know you could learn a thing or two about home repair."
"I know how to fix a toaster, a washing machine and a coffee maker," Lori teased. "Thank you very much… when you grow up in a circus…"
"Not THAT story again," Bagel groaned, handing the gown to Lori, with a look that clearly meant "Don't go there…" because she had heard the war stories of Lori's unusual child hood far more times then she could count. Not that she didn't like hearing them, but sometimes when your mind was on something else, it was difficult to be distracted by advice or old flights down Memory Lane.
"Now what's eating you," she asked. "As if I HAVE to ask."
"Just um, well unsure of what's going to happen tonight, that's all," Bagel confessed, looking a bit awkward.
"Just a date, silly. And if Dangermouse has some twisted sense of humor in fixing me up with a master of disguise I promise you he'll be hearing no end of it from me for the next few weeks."
"Who is he?"
"Agent 57. I took a quick look through DM's files, and the guy can literally disguise himself as anyone and anything."
"So if the jukebox or the local soda machine waltzes up to you and asks you to sit with him, you'll know who it is?" Bagel said wryly.
"Get outta here," Lori said with a grin. "Not LITERALY. We still have to pick an outfit for you to wear."
"Since it's a concert, well I'm guessing tuxedos are out, and formal gowns," said Bagel as Lori held up the blue gown, which came to just above the knees to show off her shapely
legs. It had spaghetti straps and small rows of sequins, not overly formal, but a few steps above other outfits.
"Well it's not ROCK, and it's not pop, necessarily. My cousin's going to be doing her greatest hits backed up by the London Animal philharmonic."
"Albert hall basement for us then," Bagel stuck out her tongue. "Never mind that we could sneak in and see the humans."
"And get stepped on or squished, no thank you, I'd rather face the elephant tamers during feeding time, thank you very much," Lori returned as she lay the gown down on her bed, and selected the right length half slip to go with it. Unlike some modern girls, she preferred to wear slips with any skirt.
"Okay, I'll leave you to primp and fluff," Bagel said, backing slowly out as if she was trying to escape.
"No way, not so fast, you get to have some sisterly advice," Lori said, her telescopic tail snaking out and grabbing Bagel's wrist to pull her back into the room. "You won't get out of here without it."
"Great, substitute one secret agent mouse for two sisters at home in the Big Apple, and I get the whole darn 'here's what we do and don't do on a first date…' talk," Bagel rolled her eyes as Lori pulled her to sit on the other side of the bed, not covered by her gown.
"Now, we should find you something classy yet…"
"Give me a break," Bagel rolled her eyes. "Usually I'm the one giving YOU fashion advice. I got a suggestion for you Sis, why not let me pick a few outfits and then you tell me yes or forget it."
"All right, you win," Lori relented as she released her assistant's wrist, and saw her scurry off to the other guestroom in Dangermouse's Mayfair pillar-box.
Finally the young hamster girl reached the safety of her own room, and chuckled nervously. She opened the sizable closet, filled with outfits that had been shipped over Fed Ex from the penthouse post office box apartment in New York, and sighed. What to wear, what to wear. When she first heard Fifi Lamoure would be doing a concert she had assumed that it would be T-shirt and jeans time, but no such luck. Fortunately, she found a rather nice blouse and skirt combo, and tossed it down, then tried other things. By the time she'd reached five outfits laying on the bed, Lori came in, wearing her blue gown and a pair of white stockings and moderate heeled shoes. She had not done her hair or makeup yet, and Bagel sighed as she sat on the bed.
"Hard choices?" she asked.
"You guessed it," she mumbled. "This wardrobe sometimes puts the F in FRUMP! I look like a parochial school girl gone amuck. When I was in public school in NYC, nobody gave a DARN if I wore jeans and a button up oxford, or if I showed up in a casual skirt and top. But take Mother and a few hundred dollars shopping for 'work clothes' and it's ALL about 'dressing the part'… sheesh!"
"Well, maybe I could suggest something," Lori suggested. "If you don't' mind."
"Go for it, the only good stuff is what I'd wear for a wedding or bar mitzvah," Bagel sighed as Lori began to pick up her friend's garments and toss a few here and there. Bagel knew it would be a while so she plugged in the hair straightening iron to heat up, and opened her box of makeup.