Disclaimer: Dangermouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. I've been having THIS on my brain forever, and pardon the raw form of this fan fiction.

A Long Overdue Date

By Trynia Merin

This story takes place after Two of the Best, and Two of the Worst

"Penfold, DO try to get a move on," Dangermouse called as he fastened his cufflinks. He cut a dashing figure in a black tuxedo with red cummerbund and bowtie, not to mention the custom Dangermouse cufflinks. Picking up a rose from the fridge, he pinned it on his lapel like a boutonniere, then remembered he had to leave Fifi's corsage in until they were just about to leave.

"All right DM," Penfold mumbled. "Just a moment like."

"Penfold what ARE you doing?" asked Dangermouse as he walked into the bedroom and saw his assistant ironing his shirt and jacket. He was in his suit and apron still, ironing like crazy on a nice semiformal black tuxedo that he'd last worn for the Secret Agent awards banquet in January.

"Ironing me shirt and trousers, what does it look like Chief?" Penfold looked up; a big flustered as clouds of steam flew up around him and the portable ironing board.

"More like a sauna, Penfold. Honestly, you should have done this before you knew."

"Oh crumbs chief, I don't want wrinkles."

"But ironing your PANTS and your socks?" Dangermouse groaned.

"Might as well finish the washing up," he shrugged, as Dangermouse sighed at the other accumulated laundry, nicely folded in piles on Penfold's bed. Whenever Penfold was agitated, the most he'd either eat or do cleaning like a neat freak.

"Penfold you give a new meaning to the word overwrought," Dangermouse sighed as he strode up to his friend and sat down on the bed. "This is NOT Greenback we are going up against…"

"Might as well be. Cor… it isn't half as scary as this. What if I say something BALMY or I sweat in me chair? Wouldn't do, you know."

"What won't do, is you being LATE," Dangermouse said, tapping his watch as he shook his head. "Now come on, it isn't as nearly as much an ordeal for us as it is for the ladies."

"Too right," Penfold sighed with relief. "I had forgotten hehehe."

"Now come on, let's get you ready."

"I can dress myself you know, I'm not THAT far gone, Chief," Penfold groaned.

"I'll just be out in the study till you're ready. Sing out," the White Wonder said as he turned around, and then hesitated. Seeing Penfold slowly mucking about with polishing a pair of his best shoes he softened, and returned.

"Oh err, got to make 'em so I can see me face," Penfold mumbled to himself as he got black shoe polish on his hands as he worked hard with a shoe shining kit tucked under his bed.

"Penfold, look, do try and relax," Dangermouse said as he sat on the bed by his friend. "It will be all right, trust me…"

"If you say so DM," Penfold looked up at him.

"I know so," Dangermouse said. "One day you'll look back on this and have a good laugh. That's it. now anything else you want to ask me?"

"Er no. Except for what tie would best go with me suit."

"Penfold you already KNOW, you have it RIGHT there with the rest," Dangermouse laughed as he saw Penfold's dress suit hanging neatly pressed.

"Oh er… right," Penfold chuckled. "I'd forget me head if it weren't on me neck."

"Look, I do want you to at least TRY to enjoy yourself," Dangermouse said softly, patting his friend's shoulder. "And I'm certain you will be all right, provided you don't end up chewing your nails again…"

"Mmm that's the worst of me worries, DM," Penfold groaned.

"Then you're doing well already, see. Look I'll go get your boutonniere and corsage you picked out. Then when you're ready, come out and meet me. And if there are any OTHER things… do not hesitate to ask…" Dangermouse added with a knowing wink.

"Chief… DM… thanks… ever so much," Penfold said with a rather sincere look. Dangermouse smiled and patted him on the head.

"My pleasure. Now hurry up. Mustn't keep the ladies waiting."

Penfold finally finished preening and joined his Chief out in the living room area. He looked very sharp in his black suit with a blue bowtie, and his shoes were so shiny DM could see himself in them with great ease. Leaning down, Dangermouse straightened his friend's tie and took the boutonniere to pin on his lapel. It reminded him of days long ago when his mother pinned a flower on his jacket for his first dance. The White Wonder shook the memory from his mind and waited as Penfold brushed any remaining lint off himself and Dangermouse with a clothes brush.

"Very spiffy indeed," Dangermouse nodded. "Now… the ladies. Give them an extra hour I should say?"

"Usually, crikey me MUM would take FOREVER." Penfold sighed. "And me auntie, although she DID have to put her face on, her teeth in, and get her curls set."

"Shall we do a spot of reading then?" DM suggested as he sat down. "And perhaps could you mix me a dry martini. Not that I shall be intoxicated whilst driving… but since we do have time."

After shifting to get comfortable the White Wonder held up the daily mirror. While he slowly leafed through it, Penfold went to the small sideboard and started tinkering about with bottles. He then rushed off to the kitchen to get some ice in the silver ice bucket, and a clean pair of tongs. While he was there, he opened up the fridge and took out the milk, and then stepped on the step stool to grab the vanilla iced cream from its place tucked away. Added to that was some chocolate syrup and two tall glasses. He rapidly made two ice cream sodas, and stuck the other one in the fridge, then hurried back with his soda and Dangermouse's ice for his drink.

"Hmm," the White Wonder mumbled as he perused the paper. "Not exactly FRONT page advertising… like she deserves. I'm going to have to write that twit of an editor a testimonial."

"Are we ready to blast off?" came Lori's voice, and Dangermouse almost jumped out of his chair, tossing down his paper.

"Good grief, already?" he asked, turning his head to see Lori standing there transformed. He looked at her appreciatively in the short blue sequined gown with matching high heels, and her hair long and straight around her shoulders. IT shone with a glossy sheen, accentuating her dark lashes and soft pink eyes. She had been transformed from tomboyish agent into a glamorous woman, and Dangermouse saw the resemblance between her and her cousin.

"Hey, looking pretty James Bond-ish, aren't you?" she asked him with a smile.

"I must say you look quite lovely," Dangermouse commented with a smile as he went over and gave her hand a gallant kiss. "Enough to be the belle of the ball… if we were going to one that is."

"Cor, yer gorgeous Lori," said Penfold, holding his soda and blinking at the vision in blue. "If I do say so meself."

"Where's your counterpart?" asked DM.

"Putting her finishing touches on," Lori smiled knowingly. A nice set of blue eye shadow with sparkle dust highlighted her eyelids, with just a touch of lip-gloss, and her pink ears shimmered with the dust as well. She wore a string of pearls and a golden locket, with initials on it.

"Oh I HATE wearing heels, good thing I brought my platforms," Bagel mumbled as she strode out, almost tripping. Dangermouse and Penfold turned to see her coming down the stairs, and Penfold drained his ice cream soda in a single gulp to stop the lump in his throat.

She had gone with the pink gown. It was floor length, and shimmery pink with lace on the bottom, and off the shoulder puffed sleeves. The neckline was a scoop neck, and she wore her brown hair back in a single bow tied around her bobbed hair. The pink platform Mary Jane's put her a few inches taller than Penfold, and her golden fur shimmered a bit with some of Lori's diamond dust. A light purple eye shadow and a bit of lip-gloss added to her charm, and she had been transformed from bookworm into a rather lovely girl. She wore a silver star of David pendant amongst a string of pearls, and a matching gold wristwatch Lori had gotten her for her birthday earlier that year.

"Oh crikey," Penfold got out. She was pretty. No doubt.

"Hey," Bagel said. "We clean up well don't we?"

"I'll say, oh crumbs I'll said, wow," Penfold managed to stammer out.

"Don't just stand there like a stick, Penfold, don't you remember your manners. would you ladies care for a little something to drink before the show?" Dangermouse asked, snapping Penfold out of his trance. It seemed like both hamsters were admiring the other with strange schoolgirl/schoolboy innocence, not looking one another in the eyes.

"You've got a milk moustache," Bagel chuckled at Penfold.

"Er um, would you care for one. I mean… a milkshake?"

"Um sure," Bagel nodded eagerly. "Chocolate or vanilla?"

"Lori?" Dangermouse asked.

"If you're having a martini, I'm driving the Mark III,' Lori said as she saw Penfold holding Dangermouse's drink.

"Quite," Dangermouse nodded slowly, knowing the American's caution for driving under the influence. "I'll call out the directions. Thank you Penfold."

Penfold absently handed DM his martini, and dashed into the kitchen. Bagel cast them a worried look, and Dangermouse held up a hand indicating it should be fine. He sipped his drink, and turned to Lori, who said, "I'll just have a diet coke."

"Penfold, please fetch a diet soda for Lori, while you're out there," he said. There was a long silence, and Bagel bit her lip, thinking the poor guy was scared to death.

"Wait here a minute, shan't be too long," Dangermouse said as he put down his drink and wandered out to check on Penfold. His little friend was standing in front of the fridge, nervously putting ice cream into his glass and taking the other out.

"Oh crikey DM… I'm terrified!"

"Penfold, it's all right," Dangermouse said, slowly understanding. "I'll be there the whole time… and so will Lori and Agent 57… now do try to calm down."

"Yes, calm… must be calm," Penfold said robotically, taking both glasses out with him. "Oh crumbs, oh crikey, oh HECK!"

"Poor chap," Dangermouse sighed as he realized Penfold had forgotten Lori's soda. He opened the fridge, grabbed a can, and then reached for a glass and some ice. He put a twist 

of lemon on the side and walked out to see Penfold slowly handing the glass to Bagel, who smiled.

"This is GREAT. I could show you a great egg cream recipe."

"Egg cream?" Penfold said, nervous. "Err… hang about. There's something else."

"Thank you DM," Lori said as Dangermouse handed her the glass of soda, and held up his drink. Penfold returned with something in a plastic box and handed it shyly to Bagel.

"Thank you," she said, taking it as Penfold fumbled with the elastic band on the corsage, and slid it up her wrist. HE noticed her hand was shaking as much as his.

"Right yes, be calm," he stammered.

"A toast, to a long overdue night off," Dangermouse held up his glass. All four of them held up their drinks and clinked them. Penfold spilled a bit of his but luckily, it landed on the floor before he and Bagel drained their sodas in a single gulp.

"Now, shall we?" Dangermouse asked as he offered his arm to Lori, and led her to the stairs.

"No lift?" Penfold asked.

"We'll take the stairs. Mustn't have the ladies mess up their lovely looks, can we now?" DM said as Lori took his arm.

"Ooh thank heaven for that!" said Penfold. "Um… shall we go?"

"Let's go," Bagel said, and took his hand as he stumbled off after Dangermouse and Lori. They steadied each other and as Penfold felt her hand in his he realized it was just as sweaty as his was.

This time Lori sat behind the wheel of the Mark III, and the White Wonder sat in the passenger seat. He was merely trying to humor her, and he glanced in the rear view mirror at Penfold and Bagel who sat discretely apart in the backseat extension. He called out the directions to Lori, who handled his car beautifully. If it had been any other American, he would have put his foot down. However, he did have to admit drinking and driving with ANY amount of alcohol was not wise.

"Hang a left here… and pull up round the front, that's a good gel," Dangermouse nodded as she pulled up to the valet parking.

"Where is this agent 57 anyway?" Lori asked. "I'm going to think you stood me up… or he did."

"You'll see," Dangermouse said as he climbed out and opened the door for Lori. He then folded down the seat and Penfold hopped out, offering his hand for his date. At least he was starting to gather his wits about him, although he looked petrified, Dangermouse sighed.

Other mice and various animals were gathering by their version of the Albert hall, in the basement as their vehicles pulled up. Cats, dogs, birds, and others walked arm in arm, all with their evening ware on. The males were resplendent in their tuxedos, as were the females with their hair couiffured or pomaded or even stick straight, as was the fashion that year.

"Ah, mind you take care of that," Dangermouse said to the valet who nodded. To his shock, the car actually drove itself into the parking spot for a VIP in the garage. He took Lori's arm as Penfold nervously did the same, trying desperately to 'keep a stiff upper lip', as Dangermouse would tell him. As for Bagel, she tried her best not to trip, for she had been on precious few dates, and the last time she had been anywhere with this many tuxedos had been a family wedding two years ago.

"Where is Agent 57?" Bagel asked.

"Eh?" Penfold snapped out of his trance as Dangermouse walked up to the box office once they went inside past the security.

"Mmm," Dangermouse mumbled. "Any ideas Lori?"

"Hmm," She tapped her chin, glancing around for anything that looked out of place.

"Agent 57?" asked Penfold as he started glancing at the large billboard, and then taping the bronze rope railings.

"Don't' be silly Penfold," Dangermouse sighed as he got the tickets, and tucked them into his inner pocket. He moved over and started glancing around; walking up to a soda machine that seemed out of place.

"Oh boy,' Bagel mumbled as she saw him talking to it.

"Ah there you are old sport," he said.

"Um chief," said Penfold.

"Not now," Dangermouse said. "I want to introduce you to M6."

Lori started to giggle. For someone had moved up and slowly coughed, and she turned to see who it was. He looked remarkably similar to the White Wonder, except he was a gray mouse, and he wore a rather nice tuxedo. "Don't' hang about man, I know you're shy,' Dangermouse said to the soda machine.

"What's DM doing chatting up a soda machine?" the newcomer whispered in her ear.

"I don't know. He seems to think it's a colleague, my date."

"I rather think that'd be boring, what, talking to a vending machine all night, not to mention the odd looks you'd get,' said the stranger. She looked at him and smiled.

"M6," she said, holding out her hand. The gray mouse wearing the sunglasses kissed it. It was odd how he looked like he could be DM's brother.

"Ah, pleased to meet you," he said with a smile. "I've heard so much about you."

"Really?" she asked.

"Um, DM…" said Penfold, noticing Lori's conversation partner. "DANGER MOUSE!"

"Penfold do shush," Dangermouse said, and then stopped short. "Well I'll be."

"You always were a bit slow on the uptake, DM," smiled the newcomer.

"Agent 57, but you look like…" Dangermouse trailed off.

"Your younger brother?" he chuckled. "I needed SOMETHING which would suit the occasion of this lovely lady."

Lori blushed as he kissed her hand again, and said, "So you're DM's brother, or a reasonable copy?"

"I'm known for facsimile," he smiled. "And you don't mind me borrowing a relative's likeness do you now, DM?"

"Not at all," Dangermouse said with a slow smile. "It's rather flattering. He'd be rather pleased, if he were here."

"OH," Lori said, as 57 apologized.

"So sorry old chum," said 57. "I bally forgot."

"No matter," the White Wonder said, and shook his friend's hand. "I'm glad you could make it. Now shall we go in before the show?"

"Quite," nodded agent 57, offering Lori his arm. She slid hers into it, and followed Dangermouse in. Penfold and Bagel shrugged, their awkwardness forgotten as they began to giggle, and he took her hand in his. It didn't' seem so hard when the focus was off them for now.