Disclaimer: Dangermouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori L'Amour and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. I've been having THIS on my brain forever, and pardon the raw form of this fanfiction.
A Long Overdue Date
Part 5
By Trynia Merin
This story takes place after Two of the Best, and Two of the Worst
**********************************************************
After the last curtain call, DM waved to his friends, and they walked after him quickly. He went over to one of the nearby ushers, and whispered into the ear of the fellow, a large cocker spaniel. Nodding the cocker spaniel in the red uniform waved them past security and they wandered backstage to Fifi's dressing room. Reaching into the nearby fridge he pulled out a large bouquet of roses, and handed them to DM.
"Don't' hang about, let's go," DM said. "We don't want to miss her now do we?"
"I can think of a few reasons why you don't want to miss her," Penfold said slyly before Bagel put a hand over his mouth playfully.
"Put a lid on it… you want us to get in trouble again from your chaperone?" she whispered.
"Crikey no," Penfold whispered back as he took her hand and rushed after DM. Agent 57 and Lori were following the two hamsters, and people in the orchestra filing off the stage looked in admiration at the shapely white mouse and the handsome lion who escorted her in the black tuxedo. Didn't he look familiar?
"Blimy, it's Sean Conroarly," mumbled one of the nearby groundhog trumpet players. "And that gel looks JUST like Fifi…"
"I hope she's a sister, cause Miss L'Amour is already in her dressing room…" whispered the cellist, a young deer to the groundhog, who couldn't keep his eyes off Lori as she walked along. The usher knocked on Fifi's door, and DM waited, watched by Penfold and Bagel.
"Someone here to see you, Mademoiselle L'Amour," said the usher.
"Send them in…" she said. Dm was first in the door, and Lori saw the sparkle in her eyes as she rested them on DM. Unlike Lori she had blue eyes, and her hair was immaculate. DM strode up to her, and kissed her hand, handing her the roses, as she leaned forward and greeted him with a kiss on either cheek. He took her hand and turned to the others, coughing a moment.
"Lori, you already know…"
"You were wonderful," Lori smiled.
"Do come in, all of you," Fifi urged, and Agent 57 closed the door behind them.
"Shall I wait outside?" asked 57.
"No, you can come in," DM said a bit flustered. "This is my assistant Penfold… and Lori's assistant Bagel… and this is one of my co workers…"
"Ma'am," said Agent 57, kissing her hand.
"You're the best," Bagel gushed. "Can I have your autograph…"
Fifi smiled and signed autographs, before DM said, "Let's not fluster her. She's just had a long performance…"
"Shall we all celebrate with dinner, as you suggested?" Fifi asked. "There is a banquet at the Grand Hotel, for all the performers and their guests…"
"Unless he wants to be alone," 57 whispered to Lori.
"My limousine is waiting," she said meaningfully. "And I'm certain it will fit all of us… there is safety in numbers, and you are all my guests…"
"The mark iii…" Penfold pulled DM's sleeve.
"Will be fine," DM whispered. "Do try not to blurt things out like a loon, Penfold… shush."
Rapidly they were all escorted out the back door, where a long black limousine pulled up. One after the other they climbed inside, DM taking a moment to help his ladyfriend with her wrap. The three couples all sat in the limo as it rode along, and the only open gesture of affection DM seemed to show was reaching out to clasp Fifi's hand. However the way in which they looked at one another spoke volumes, for each gaze seemed to say a thousand words. She immediately began to entertain them of tales from her tour of Europe, and they all listened interestedly as the limo pulled up to the hotel, where the members of the orchestra were already filing into the large banquet room for the wrap party. The limo driver tipped up his cap and gave a slow smile. However, as he pulled away he failed to notice as someone suddenly rose from the seat in a blur of color, and held up a small vial, spraying it in his face. Before he could lose control, a long foot stuck out and hit the break as the dark shape looked carefully at the unconscious driver. Features blurred and he suddenly took on the appearance
"I'll be waiting, M6," he murmured. "When you come back, I'll be waiting, and then I'll have my revenge…"
"I have you now, Fifi L'Amour," said someone as they slid into the door, and looked at the limo driver in puzzlement.
"WHO are you?" he asked, suddenly loosing his concentration and shifting to his original form. Which left the would be assailant flummoxed.
"WHAT is this, your not her driver?" asked the fellow in red, looking strangely at the limo driver. "I missed them?"
"Excuse me, are YOU after them too?" he asked, suddenly.
"Yes… but… who…"
"A master of disguise," he said slyly. "And you look familiar. Wufgang is it?"
"You've heard of me?" he asked.
"Yes, your attempt to erase all the worlds music was a good attempt at best," he said. "I congratulate you… and I assume you have some nefarious scheme involving the singer?"
"Yes… but…"
"I offer my assistance, for a 50/50 cut, and the chance to get rid of Agent M6. She's the white mouse with the rather large goon in the tuxedo, who is NO movie star… and the female hamster with DM's assistant is her assistant… a rather annoying little thing, with a mouth on her that wont' stop!"
"Granted. I had wondered who he was with…" said Wulfgang slowly. "And what assistance pray tell do you offer me?"
"You're working with a professional," said the figure, blurring back into the form of a limo driver. "But you MUST work on your subtlety…"
"Go on…" he said. "How do you propose to do better?"
"Simple, I once worked in America, during the scheme of the pilfered music contract for a famous pop group… they went missing for WEEKS, and by the time the Backsheep Baahs knew they were missing, they were FORCED to sign under my label," he whispered.
"You sir, are a virtuoso…"
"And a music lover. The music of cold hard cash… and with it you can have POWER… and buy all the record companies and force them to promote your music, and your music alone…"
"I had hoped to capture Miss L'Amour, and use her spellbinding voice for my hypnotron…"
"Greenback tried that scheme before," said his would be partner. "And he failed. But with MY help you will succeed, if it IS based on her voice… but first you need MY help to capture her… This is what we do…" The two enemies began to plot, comparing notes about their enemies and when they last met. As they shook hands, Wulfgang smiled slyly, a wicked gleam in his eyes, when he heard the plan.
***
"DM, what do I do?" Penfold whispered as he pulled DM's sleeve. Fifi stood with many of her fellow performers, who were all fawning over her with compliments. Some even had programs for her to sign for their relatives and guests.
"Penfold, ask her to dance, really," DM sighed, trying to be as patient as he could be, while wanting to have SOME time to himself. Fifi stood by Lori as she signed programs, and the two cousins were talking quietly about various singing techniques.
"My voice teacher, he says to rest every day for an hour, non?"
"You do both classical opera and pop, that's quite an accomplishment," said Lori.
"Miss L'Amour…" said another performer. "I must have your autograph…"
"Everyone, please, give the lady some room. Let's have a dance shall we?" her manager said as he shoed everyone away. A small group of hired musicians began to play a waltz, and the members of the orchestra paired off with their dates and guests onto the wooden dance floor. A sea of black tuxedos swarmed with the colorful gowns of the guests.
"Incredible," said Lori. "Haven't seen this many suits since the agent's ball… or can I tell you about these things…"
"I am sworn to secrecy, no? Since I am the belle of a certain top agent… and you are my cousin, also a top agent. What better person to entrust your secrets to?"
"I missed you so much," whispered Lori.
"And I too, my belle cousine," said Fifi, pressing her hand. "All the good things you have done… you saved Danger Mouse and much of the free world. He had told me of your bravery…"
"Are you going to be staying for a few days?" she asked. "And would you like me to um… as the English say, bugger off tonight so you and he can get caught up?"
"That is sweet of you, chere," she smiled. "And you and I can go shopping tomorrow… I shall show you ALL the best places in London…"
"Miss L'Amour may I?" asked an adoring maestro, a young squirrel, and she turned to Lori with a helpless shake of her head.
"Ahem, I believe she is with me," said DM as he moved up, and gave the squirrel a look that clearly said, "Back off… or get lost…"
"Someone save me," she laughed, and DM held out his hand to dance.
"Shall we?" he asked, as they started to play the tango. Immediately she took his hands, and they were off on the dance floor together. With great precision the two white mice moved and spun with the music, DM's athletic lean body gracefully counterpointing with Fifi's easy gliding grace. Together they seemed poetry in motion, tempered with their footsteps moving like clockwork. Other couples began to join in, and Lori watched, as her cousin seemed lost in her own world. It was said that two people dancing was indeed a very close way to bond and communicate without words being spoken. What was the nature of DM and Fifi's relationship? Seeing them dancing together, she knew the answer.
"Err, would you like to um… dance?" Penfold asked, swallowing his nervousness, but knowing that there were others of his height and stature out there making a hash of it.
"Sure," said Bagel. "And don't worry, I won't laugh or anything. AS long as you don't' laugh at me. The last time I danced in this type of music was at my cousin Lenny's bar mitzvah…"
"I only know tap dancing," Penfold blushed as she took his hand and they stayed at the edge of the dance floor and simply held hands trying to get the gist of the beat. However there were others doing far worse, and Penfold was just glad she wasn't laughing at him. She seemed to be having fun, and he realized that there wasn't as much to be terrified about when she held his hand. He hadn't felt like that for someone else… since a rather nasty crush on a teacher in boarding school.
Lori felt someone tap her on the shoulder, and looked up to see Agent 57 standing over her. IN his present guise he was taller then her by at least a head, and he said, "Shall we?"
"Thank you," she smiled as he put his massive paw at the small of her back, and clasped her hand in his. She slid her arm around his waist, and felt the strength of his hand around hers. They moved easily together, and she was impressed by his grace despite his size. To see a large lion and a mouse dancing wasn't unheard of, but it was rather endearing. Not many could keep their eyes off the two white mice dancing in the center of the floor however, as they finished the tango.
***
"Cor am I starving!" Penfold commented as they passed by the buffet table.
"You said it," Bagel answered. They forgot all about dancing as they looked longingly at all the food piled there. Each grabbing a plate they proceeded to help themselves. Anything unidentified to her, Bagel simply had to ask her date, and he'd give her a run down on its merits. A lot of the British food seemed based on meat, and she soon had slices of steak and kidney pie, fondue, and a large slice of trifle to the side of other hors-d'ouvres. Penfold piled his plate high as well, and the two of them sat at a table near the window where the fresh night air was allowed to drift in. Nearby, DM and Fifi sipped at two glasses of wine, and spoke softly to one another. They were in view of the two assistants, and Bagel couldn't help but wonder where Lori was with 57.
"What's the deal with DM anyway?" she asked Penfold through a mouth of trifle.
"Eh?" Penfold asked, helping himself to a bit of raspberry ice. "You should try this… bet they don't' have THIS in America…"
"Thank you," she said as he dolloped a portion onto her plate, which quickly filled an empty space. "But he's so… well… you'd think if two people were in love they'd SHOW it more…"
"DM's um… reserved… and most British are," Penfold said quickly. "I mean that's just how he is…"
"Heh," Bagel said slowly, and put a piece of black Forrest cherry cake on Penfold's plate for him to try. "Figures. If he showed up at my family, he'd be seen as a cold fish… not that there is anything WRONG with being reserved, but I don't see him as the type who'd even so much as do more then hold her hand…"
"DM's just DM…" Penfold shrugged. "Anyway if I'd know about such things… he's tight lipped about his private life. I'm his best friend… and there's things he's NEVER told me…"
"A shame… I know the secret agent life is… well there are some sacrifices… but even so, he doesn't really have any FAMILY does he? I mean you see your folks a lot don't you?"
"Crikey do I ever," Penfold said through a mouth of strawberry tart. "Me auntie even ran into us on one of our missions. DM was EVER so cross…"
"You ever see your parents?" she asked him.
"Em well… not for a while lately," Penfold admitted. "They er… live in the country… but they DO send me a new pair of wool mittens now and again… and me mum sometimes pops in for a visit… but DM says I have to be careful who I bring to the HQ… cause of the security risk. But time off, that's the best… home cooking, sleeping in me old bed…"
"Tell me about it. Lori didn't have much of a family, and my mom adopted her…"
"Yer mum and dad… you see them lots do you now?" Penfold asked.
"Are you kidding?" she giggled. "Too much. But I miss them. I just wondered if DM had ever told you about HIS family. This is the FIRST Lori really told me about her birth folks. As far as I knew till recently she grew up in a circus…"
"Crumbs, that's not half bad," Penfold observed. "Here, you've GOT to try this… Hang about, DM's off again… with his lady friend…"
"Probably wants some time alone," Bagel laughed.
"Still wouldn't put it past some blighter to do something crazy," Penfold mumbled. "I've got a bad feeling that we're being watched…"
"He's the greatest secret agent, right?" Bagel asked, stepping down as Penfold slowly got down off his chair. "What HAS he got to worry about… or are you curious about something else?"
"Who me?" Penfold tried to look the paragon of innocence. "Just going to check up on him, what?"
"Don't go without me," Bagel chuckled, guessing his curiosity was overriding his usual cowardice. They came to the window and saw DM walking out on the patio with Fifi. Penfold stood on a chair to see over the decorative hedges, and Bagel moved up to perch beside him. Both of them pressed their noses to the glass and watched the couple.
"He's holding her hand," Penfold said slowly.
"Very romantic," Bagel nodded as he saw them walking, and Fifi's blush as DM whispered something into her ear. She was holding a prop fan, and hiding her face behind it partly. IT reminded her of a scene from Pride and Prejudice as they walked along, very demure and discreet.
"Cor, look at that," Penfold mumbled as he saw them duck into the shadows, and they only saw them in silhouette. They stood opposite another, and intently gazed into one another's eyes. Both hamsters watched raptly as they saw DM draw her close, and what seemed at first like a chaste brushing of noses turn into something more. And they kissed, and kissed, and kissed some more.
"Reserved my foot," Bagel mumbled. "He's a regular James Bond, on and off the mission…"
"Crumbs yes,' Penfold nodded. "The blighter… he's been holding out on me… let's take a closer look…"
"And you said you were a coward by nature? At this rate you'll be a first rate spy," Bagel chuckled as he helped her down off the chair and they scampered like two innocent schoolchildren to hide behind the hedge once they scurried out the door. DM had moved from his kiss and took Fifi's arm, slowly guiding her to sit on a stone bench out from the party. There was a decorative hedge maze in the back of the hotel, and Penfold and Bagel both sneaked under cover of the planters to hear giggling and laughing as they continued to talk and he saw DM's hands clasped in hers, his arm draped over her shoulder. There was an innocence and shyness about it, tempered with the looks of great desire, as if they were holding back in what they wished to do.
"It has been a long time, mon couer," she whispered as they held their hands clasped before them.
He nodded as she whispered something into his ear in French, and he smiled shyly as he whispered something back, and kissed her neck lightly. Taking her hand he kissed it softly, moving up her arm, and she laughed lightly, stroking his cheek. Penfold's hand tightened on Bagel's shoulder, and she had to stifle her cry of surprise at how tightly it pinched. He seemed to lean out of the hedge, a smug smile on his face when he saw his chief lean over and give his ladyfriend a kiss once more.
***
Lori let Agent 57 lead her off the dance floor, and said, "May I get you a drink, Miss?"
"You can call me Lori," she said. "We are off duty…"
"Indeed," he nodded. "Something non alcoholic, or something more traditionally British? Perhaps some wine?"
"Well why not, what the hey?" Lori asked. He went over to the table where drinks were being served and ordered two glasses of Merlot. They stood together before the window, glancing out at the open door, and he handed her the one glass.
"Wonder where DM's gotten off to," 57 chuckled with a roguish gleam in his eye. "The old fox…"
"Penfold and Bagel have disappeared too," smiled Lori. "I bet they're hitting the buffet…"
"Don't' see them around, although it does look from the evidence as if they've come and gone…" 57 pointed to the table. Lori could hear something amidst the babble of the crowd, and felt her fur stand on end.
"Um, maybe we should look for them, just in case… you know…"
"If you like, we could get some air. There is a garden out back here…" he said, leading the way. They stepped onto the terrace where DM and Fifi had been before, and they noticed a few other couples walking or sitting out by now. DM and Fifi were out of range of the immediate sight, and Lori glimpsed them to the one side, in relief.
"Over there," she whispered. "I'd know my cousin's tiara flashing anywhere… rather romantic… isn't it?"
"Very much so," he said, craning his neck to lean over and look. Out of the corner of her eye, Lori saw something moving in the bushes and shivered.
"Cold?" 57 asked her, rubbing his hands up her bare arms.
"Forgot my coat in the car," she blushed.
"You should have told me m'dear, I could have transmogrified a coat or something, or given you mine," he said, making to slip off his jacket.
"It's just… something's making me shiver…" she turned away, glancing around as her senses screamed danger. IT was her enhanced hearing, picking up the rustling in the bushes that was somewhere near DW and Fifi. DM was stroking the side of her cousin's face softly, and she was looking up at him, both with their white fur gleaming in the moonlight.
"Mayhap it is something else," he said and turned her around. She looked up at him, and felt his hand on her face gently. It had been so long since a male had touched her so tenderly, and she reached up to stroke the side of his face with her hand.
"I wonder what you really look like," she whispered.
"Better not ask," he chuckled, a bit too self-consciously. "I've been known to er…"
"It wouldn't' matter," she said, squeezing his hand. "I don't judge by appearance. It's the man INSIDE that matters…"
"Very sweet of you miss," he sighed, clutching her hand tightly. Lori again shivered, but she heard what sounded like another rustling, and 57 drew her close to his body to warm her. Before she knew it she felt a soft kiss on her lips, and stopped for a moment, startled.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, drawing back. "I haven't been in the company of a ravishing lady such as you…"
"Don't be sorry," Lori said, leaning up on her toes and breathing in his face. "What mad you think I'd mind?"
"Would you mind terribly… if I?" he asked, and she answered him, standing on her tiptoes and giving him a sweet kiss that lingered. She forgot her fears for a moment, letting him draw her close and feel her fast beating heart.
***
"OH crumbs," Penfold yelped as he stumbled in the bush, and Bagel put a hand over his mouth. Fifi and DM broke from their romantic mood to turn and see the movement. "Just a moment," DM said rather annoyedly as he strode forwards.
"Spies?" she asked with a nervous laugh.
"More like nosy parkers," DM mumbled. "All right, step out of there now!"
"Oh 'eck," Penfold whimpered and felt something tickling his leg. It was a stray bit of grass, and he couldn't suppress a squeak. As Bagel moved to put her hand over his mouth, she leaned too far, and both hamsters spilled out rudely onto the lawn.
"Oops," she said, looking up at Danger Mouse.
"Penfold, what on EARTH are you doing!" DM snapped his hands on his hips.
"Crikey DM, sorry… I heard a noise and I thought you were in trouble," Penfold babbled.
"Sorry... so sorry," Bagel said, tripping as they scrambled up, backing away at the irritation in Dm's face.
"Oh don't be so hard on the petite ones," Fifi started to laugh as she came up. "They were simply worried about us, the dears…"
"Trouble, you have no idea what THAT is… when I get through with," DM started, but stopped as she put her hand on his shoulder and slid her arms around him from behind.
"We were just going now…" Penfold stammered as he grabbed bagel's hand and quickly pulled her behind him. Her heels almost flew up as he ran with her as fast as he could to the hotel banquet room.
"Good grief," DM sighed.
"Don't be cross, mon chere," she whispered. "The night is still young, and they are curious, no?"
"Someday, that boy will be in a big mess," DM sighed. Suddenly they heard a scream, and the sounds of thumping. A loud shout came after it, and people started to shriek as a sudden sound cut through the night.
"That sounded like…"
"Stay here," DM told Fifi, and she nodded her hand to her mouth.
"Unhand me you fiends!" Lori's voice cut through the trees. Dm rushed to the sight of the scuffle, hearing grunts and shouts that sounded like Agent 57 fighting someone.
"Let her go NOW!" shouted agent 57. "Or I'll… I'll…"
"You'll take a nap," said a sinister voice, and DM had just reached the trees when he saw something clunk 57 on the head and knock him out. He crumpled, groaning as he saw stars.
"Good grief…"
"Let me go!" Lori screamed as she was dragged away by two figures.
"M6!" Dm shouted as he rushed forwards. "Let her go!"
"You'll never see your lady friend again, unless you stop right now," said Wulfgang.
"But…" he stammered out as the other figure threw a sack over the struggling agent, and pressed something to her neck. She went limp and he carried her into a large helicopter.
"Stop right there or she dies now," came Wolfgang's threat. "So Danger Mouse, you thought you could stop my scheme, but it will be Miss L'Amour who will pay the price if you TRY to stop us now… and all these innocent people will be added to the bill…"
"You… you FIEND!" DM shouted as he shook his fist, and Fifi came running up. Everyone scattered as a loud dissonant chord sounded, and they clamped their hands over their ears. The windows shattered and the ground quaked as DM glanced up through his pain and saw the helicopter rising in the night with Wulfgang holding an accordion in his hands. The vibrations coming from it were causing the loud cacophony that was driving everyone mad. AS soon as they had vanished, DM took his hands out from his ears, and felt Fifi's hand on his shoulders.
"DM, what happened… they took Lori!" she gasped.
"They though she was you," DM whispered, and leaned over to tend to the unconscious 57. Penfold and Bagel came running out.
"Crikey DM what happened?" Penfold gasped.
"It was Wolfgang again, and he's captured Lori, and 57's had a nasty knock on the head… Fifi, I want you to go where it's safe while I contact HQ and get after them…"
"No Danger Mouse. She is MY cousin and I am going WITH you…" Fifi said firmly.
"Now don't argue… don't be ridiculous!" Danger Mouse said, whirling on her.
"Non, she is FAMILY," Fifi said, hands on her hips. "And I insist you TAKE me with you!"
"Oh crumbs," said Penfold, looking at a very shocked DM.
"Wow," said Bagel. "She's got guts, all right. No wonder she's DM's woman…"
DM bit his lip as he looked from the fallen unconscious 57 to the slowly recovering crowd. Fifi was adamant, her blue eyes sparkling with determination, hands still on her hips. Penfold and Bagel looked at one another, knowing DM might not want to disagree with her right now, if he wanted his long overdue date to continue that was!
****