Chapter Six
Donna waited as patiently as she could but as she heard Sam approaching the door she called out, "Hurry, Sam!"
He opened the door just in time to save a bag that had been slowly sliding out of her grasp.
"Wow is this for me?" Sam said in his best surprised tone.
"Josh told you, didn't he? I wanted to surprise you!"
"Well I didn't think I'd be rescuing-" Sam read the label on the container, "chili 'mild' when I opened the door so it was a bit of a surprise."
Donna kissed Sam on the cheek as she walked by him and went straight to the kitchen where she started to put the food away. She asked Sam to choose one to have later and when he couldn't decide she chose for him and placed it on the side.
Later, when the food was cooking, they sat on the sofa and Donna told him what had been going on since he had been away. She suddenly shifted and felt beneath her, pulling out a small plastic wallet.
"Why have you got a Greyhound bus ticket dated 23rd August 1999 under the cushions?"
"It's a memento," Sam explained.
"Of a bus trip?"
"Well more of who I was on the trip with." Sam took it from her and stood. "I was tidying my bureau." He opened one of the drawers and pieces of paper immediately made their escape from where they had been shoved earlier.
"This looks like a job for Bureau Girl." Donna walked over to Sam and started to take out the piles of paper from the drawers.
"I had a system going, but then I changed systems in my head but forgot to change the piles and so, I got a little muddled," Sam admitted.
Two hours later Sam was in possession of possibly the most organized bureau in Washington. Donna and he had eaten and were drinking coffee, sitting side by side on the sofa.
"Donna, one day you are going to make a man who enjoys chili 'mild' and keeps a disorderly bureau very happy," Sam said.
"I am," she agreed.
They sat in companionable silence until Sam started to fall asleep. He was jolted awake by the shrill tone of Donna's cell phone.
"Hi, that's because I'm not there…or there…no…yes…yes…maybe…no-"
"Donna," Sam waited until she had covered the mouthpiece, "Tell Josh he can come over tomorrow."
Donna smiled at being caught out and gave Josh Sam's message. She put her phone away and picked up her bag and coat. "I'm going to go because you need to go to bed." Sam walked her to the door where she kissed him goodbye. "Don't be too hard on Josh. He won't admit it but he feels bad about the past few months."
"We're both to blame, I could have tried to sort things out too, it was just easier to go on as we were than to try and fix it," Sam shrugged. "We'll talk, clear the air and then before you know it things will be back to normal."
Donna groaned in response, "Oh God, please don't say that, where you and Josh are concerned things are never normal." Sam laughed and surprised Donna by pulling her into a goodbye hug. Just as he shut the door the phone rang again. Sam picked it up and slumped onto the sofa, his mother had phoned every night since he had got home from the hospital.
"Sam, it's Ben." Sam didn't reply. "Sam are you there?" Ben waited before Sam finally answered.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry, I just didn't expect to hear from you."
"No I don't suppose you did and I know you were virtually kicking me out of your apartment this afternoon but I-"
"Yeah, listen, I don't know where that came from."
"Don't apologise, please don't even think of apologising for that."
I can't even remember some of what I said," Sam admitted.
"Well I don't think I'm going to forget it in a hurry. You said what you needed to say, and it was true." Another pause followed. "Sam, you still there?"
"Yeah," Sam wiped a hand over his eyes.
"I'd do anything, anything, to take back what happened, not just the punch although that was bad enough, but how I let my anger at what happened skew my knowledge of you. You would never do-"
"Never do what?" Sam snapped.
"I just thought we should talk-"
"I told you I never wanted to see you again!"
"Sam, I really think if we just sat down-" Ben tried.
"Don't phone me, don't try to contact me, and if you call here you'll find agents posted outside my door," Sam warned.
There was a long pause in which Sam stretched out on the sofa and smiled until eventually Ben replied, "You're messing with me aren't you?"
"Indeed I am."
"And you're going to be doing it for the foreseeable future," Ben said.
"I should think so," Sam agreed in a serious tone that belied the smile on his face.
"Okay, as long as you don't shout at me again," Ben replied and then added, "I am sorry Sam, I don't know what else to say." There was a pause before Sam answered.
"You don't need to say anything. I know you're sorry, I know you regret it, I don't want to keep…I just want to move on."
"So do I, Sam, so do I." Ben coughed nervously before asking, "I've got these tickets for the Skins a week Monday and I was thinking it's been a while since we've caught any games so, I mean, I don't know if you're up to it but what do you say?"
"I'll see you then," Sam replied. After ending the call Sam lay on the sofa for a while before going to bed. He thought about Ben's phone call and then he thought about Josh and knew his conversation with him was going to be a lot more difficult.
The clutter of sounds coming from the Bullpen was nothing unusual. Telephones rang, filing drawers slid open and shut, keyboards were tapped and a continuous hum of conversation accompanied it all. To Sam it was the most beautiful sound he had heard for days. His reverie was interrupted by Ginger's shrill cry of his name and he found himself immediately surrounded by her and the other assistants. He caught a glimpse of Toby standing in his office doorway and in his own way he looked just as pleased to see Sam. He shouted at the women to stop smothering his deputy and then gestured for him to come into his office.
"What are you doing here?" Toby asked. "You should be recuperating."
"I'm as recuperated as I'm going to get. Josh is coming over tonight so I thought I'd walk here, get some exercise, and then he can drive me back," Sam explained as he flopped on the sofa where he stayed until Josh appeared in the doorway.
"You ready?"
Sam nodded. Toby watched the two men. Things seemed to have improved between them but Toby knew they had things to say before they would really be able to put the past few months behind them.
The commentator was annoying Josh. It wasn't what he was saying so much as the sound of his voice.
"Mute it then if he's annoying you that much," Sam said grabbing the remote and throwing it at Josh.
"Then I won't get the ambiance of the stadium."
"Would it help if I ate a hotdog and then threw the wrapper at you?" Sam asked.
"No."
"Well, we've eaten, watched a game and sunk some beers. Are we going to actually talk?" Sam asked.
"I think I could sink a few more beers first," Josh decided.
Sam flipped the remote in his hand, stopping every now and then to flick through the channels.
Josh leant forwards and reached for his bottle. "I wanted to tell you sooner you know. I told the others that I thought you should know."
"Tell me about what? MS, the censure, the drop in, mad cow, the caucus?"
"Don't Sam, this is hard enough, don't make it any harder," Josh sighed.
"Okay, go on."
…
Sam looked at the splashes of beer that fell onto the table as Josh spun round in front of him, "God, why do you always do this? Why do you insist on holding everyone to impossible standards? If everyone in Washington behaved according to the code of Samuel Seaborn, nothing would ever get done!"
…
The credits of an unwatched film rolled down the screen of the muted television. "You didn't speak to me for two weeks, and you didn't look me in the eye for much longer." Sam had been standing but he sat down abruptly when he had finished shouting. He had forgotten that shouting, laughing and sneezing still caused him pain.
…
"I was livid. I couldn't believe you'd done it. We were clearing up after that tape for weeks. I didn't set out to avoid you but I knew if I'd have confronted it, it wouldn't have been as a colleague but as a pissed off friend and that wouldn't have helped anyone. There were other things going on then too, I think I may have misdirected a bit of anger at you back then." Josh looked at Sam and thought he looked tired and pale. He sat down wearily next to him on the sofa.
…
"What did you think I was going to do?"
"I don't know Sam."
"You really think that I would compromise policy initiative? What did you think Ben would gain from me telling him? What did you think I would gain? I just don't understand why you didn't tell me. I know there are things I can't know, that you can't tell me but you act like you're afraid to tell me. I'm not stupid; I know when something's going on." Josh stood and walked towards him but Sam turned away from him and Joshed watched as he tried to calm down. When he spoke again his voice was quieter and Josh had to move closer to hear him. "When Lillingfield was after Leo you came to me and asked me to speak to Laurie and when Leo was in trouble again you came to me and asked me to help but this time you didn't tell me why, and when I asked you didn't even tell me you couldn't, you just dismissed it, you dismissed me. I just wanted to help, Josh."
Sam was unconsciously holding his waist. "Sit down Sam," Josh suggested.
"Yeah," Sam agreed.
…
Josh placed Sam's cup on a mat and placed the TV Guide under his. A drop of coffee ran down the handle and soaked into the paper.
"So where were we?" Josh asked.
"You were saying that you didn't tell me about Ben because you couldn't face another Kevin Kahn debacle and then you decided you needed coffee."
Josh nodded. "I needed to make some coffee. I needed to think. Your filter machine is incredibly slow by the way."
"And?"
"And what?" Josh asked as he reached for his cup.
"What did you think about?" Sam replied impatiently.
Josh turned to Sam, his expression was serious, "I think you need a new coffee machine."
"Josh!"
"And I think I didn't tell you about Ben because I didn't want to listen to your objections. I didn't like what we were doing any more than you did and I didn't want to have to listen to you telling me that."
…
Sam nodded in response to something that Josh had said but he wasn't quite sure what it was. Josh looked funny, blurry and every so often he disappeared altogether.
"Sam." Josh spoke quietly but it was enough to make Sam's head jerk upwards.
"I'm sorry. I was just resting my eyes." Sam had hardly been able to keep his eyes open for the past ten minutes.
Josh laughed. "You're dead on your feet. Go to bed."
Sam smiled and leant back against the cushions. "I'm glad we've… I was going to say cleared the air but it doesn't quite-" Sam stopped talking when he felt Josh's hand on his arm and turned to face him.
They had been talking for the past two hours. They had both raised their voices, they had both sat in the uncomfortable silences in between and they had both reached an understanding of where they were and how they had got there. They had been so candid with each other that there had been no need for declarations of guilt or apologies. They had worked through what had been happening over the past few months and in doing so had come to a clear understanding of the breakdown in their relationship and their own parts in it.
"I'm glad too," Josh said and they looked at each other and knew that they had both said all that needed to be said.
Toby sat with his head in his hands. He looked up at Leo but he was too busy looking at the floor to notice. CJ rubbed at her forehead, she could feel a headache developing. Josh was pacing up and down in front of the sofa on which Sam sat. Sam's arms were tightly folded across his chest and he was shaking his head as Josh spoke.
"You don't know what you're talking about," Josh exclaimed. "You keep saying caucus, caucus, caucus like some demented bird but you clearly don't know what you're talking about."
Sam stood up and blocked the path that Josh was taking so they stood facing each other. "And you, as usual, are trying to make me see things from your point of view without providing me with any reason why I should."
Josh took a deep breath. "Caucusing is not a word. I don't care what dictionary you checked in. Have you ever heard anyone say, 'I'm sorry I was late, the caucusing took longer than expected'?"
"Ah ha!" Sam cried and Toby moaned, "You don't say we are going to politicize an issue when we discuss it but it's still a word!"
"But if I did, at least people wouldn't look at me like I was some sort of dictionary-freak boy like they would if I said caucusing," Josh countered.
"Well I am a dictionary-freak boy," Sam exclaimed proudly and then realizing that may not be a good thing added, "And I'm taking that insult and claiming it as term of endearment."
Josh and Sam stood face to face and Josh placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Sam, you really need to get out more."
Toby glanced at Leo again and this time Leo caught the look and smiled. He walked round his desk and sat down behind it. "There was a point a little while ago when Toby asked me if we were done and I said yeah and then Sam said a sentence with the word caucusing in it, and here we still. Two people in the room are talking and they are the only two people who have the faintest interest in what they are saying."
Josh ignored Leo and moved closer to Sam placing his arm around his shoulder. "It's okay, Sam, get it off your chest." Josh soothed. "I know you're dying to tell me the origins of the word caucus."
"Well, I'm not," Sam replied petulantly as Josh began to lead him from Leo's office. "Okay, if I tell you the origin of the word caucus will you bow down to my dictionary freakdom and concede to the fact that caucusing is a word?"
Josh stopped in the doorway and considered this. "If you know the origins of caucus, verified by three sources of course-"
"Of course," Sam agreed.
"Then I will not only concede the existence of the word but I will use it in everyday conversation."
"Excellent. Well the word caucus comes from the Caucus Club of Boston which had its heyday in the 1760s, and although the true origin of their name is unclear it is very likely to be from the Medieval Latin, Caucus, meaning a drinking vessel, which is apt because I would imagine…" Sam's voice trailed off as he and Josh disappeared down the corridor.
CJ and Toby began to follow them out of Leo's office. Before he left the room Toby turned to Leo. "I don't know which emotion is stronger, the relief that they're back to normal or the frightening concept that we consider that to be normal."
Leo shook his head and grinned.
As Toby walked past Margaret she stopped him. "You're grinning, Toby, is everything okay?"
"It's better than okay. It's normal," he answered as he hurried to catch up with the others. Margaret stared after him, peered into the office to see Leo also grinning. She shook her head and went back to her desk.
The End