Disclaimer: Dangermouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori L'Amour and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. I've been having THIS on my brain forever, and pardon the raw form of this fanfiction.

A Long Overdue Date

Part 5

By Trynia Merin

This story takes place after Two of the Best, and Two of the Worst

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Part 6

"Appearances don't matter to me," said Lori as she held up a hand to caress his cheek in the moonlight.

"You don't know, my dear, what you speak of," Agent 57 said under the moonlight.

"Surely someone knows what you really look like," Lori said softly, her blue eyes gleaming. She seemed like an angel from some other realm, despite the fact she was American, and normally he didn't consider dating other agents from outside the agency an option. Here he was with the power to make himself look like anything he wanted, and still it had been ages since he'd had such fun on a date. Not to mention he hadn't had a date in the longest time either.

"You wouldn't want to see my true appearance," Agent 57 said sadly, turning from her.

"I stand by what I said before," she whispered, and he felt the soft touch of her lips on his and her body close to his as her arms went around his neck, and he felt the softness of her kiss. His resolve melted and he lost himself in her arms and the wonderful warm feeling that came all over him….

"You are so beautiful," he murmured as he parted from the sweet kiss, full of promise, and looked into those deep blue eyes.

"Agent 57… cooee?" said a voice that was distinctively English coming from her lips, and he blinked, confused as he felt a dull pain erupting in his head, and the sound of a car engine running in the background. Suddenly he felt very foolish indeed, because it had been the last few memories spinning before all the lights had gone out.

Agent 57 next came around laying in the back seat of the Mark III. Penfold was sitting on his left, mopping his brow with a wet handkerchief. ON his other side someone was gently probing the large bruise there, as he and Bagel both propped him up between them. Slowly she was bandaging his head, and he had managed to retain his present form.

"Lori," he mumbled. "Where is the gel… is she all right… good lord I have got to…"

"Hey it's okay," Bagel said.

"Er could you… um, change into something smaller?" Penfold asked, as he was crammed up against the wall of the car.

"But Lori… I mean Agent M6… is in peril and it's my fault," 57 despaired.

"No it isn't, now hold still!" Bagel chided as she struggled to wrap his head in a long white bandage as he fussed.

All throughout the ride, DM and Fifi had said little, both sitting there in their respective funks. DM was a bit embarrassed and nonplussed, because she had never insisted on coming along. Agent 57 mumbled and asked everyone to close their eyes while he changed into another disguise, at lest one that wouldn't take up so much of the back seat of the Mark III. When he told them it was all right to look, they saw he had adopted the guise of a cable repair guinea pig, complete with helmet, utility belt and coveralls.

"I'm sorry, I've got a nasty headache," he apologized. "This was the first thing that came to mind…"

"Cor, it's better though," Penfold commented. "Are you all right? You had a rather nasty knock on the head…"

"57, are you all right?" DM asked, breaking the silence from the front seat, which had dropped a few degrees.

"Yes, but Lori… agent M6… Mademoiselle L'Amour, I must apologize, I failed to protect your cousin… and now she's in great peril…"

"Don't' worry about it, you did your best," Fifi said quietly, folding her arms across her chest much like DM did.

"You mustn't beat up on yourself," DM sighed. "It can happen to the best of us. And we simply must get that bump seen too..."

"I'm fine, really," 57 said, trying to sit up straight despite the tweeting bluebirds which seemed to float around his head. "Blast it, we really must give those fiends a walloping…"

"They get theirs all right, when Danger Mouse gets his mitts on them," Penfold said as Bagel tried to finish doing the bandage and salve on 57's head. Despite the fact he could alter his appearance, the goose egg swelling on his head was pretty apparent in any form.

"What's the plan, Dangermouse?" 57 asked, still reeling from his injury.

"The plan is we get back to HQ, contact Colonel K, and see if we can get a bearing on…"

"We have to go after them," Fifi said insistently. "There's no TELLIGN what they'll do to my poor cousin…"

"May I remind you, mon cherie, that your cousin is a capable agent, and is most qualified to handle any emergency…" DM said softly. "And rushing off half cocked isn't going to help her get rescued…"

"So what are we going to do now Chief?" Penfold asked, breaking the tension.

"We're reaching HQ now," said DM as they backed into the Mayfair pillar-box, and he helped them all onto the lift, which lead up into his sitting room. When they reached the top, DM turned to Penfold and Bagel.

"Can you put him up in one of the guest rooms. I think 57 needs a bit of a lie down…"

"DM, old boy I'm fine," 57 insisted.

"Penfold can you make some strong tea?" he asked.

"Right away chief," Penfold said, glad of something to do, and very much wanting to be elsewhere because the temperature in the room had dropped several degrees.

"And you my dear…" said DM. "Could most well do with a cup of tea… Bagel, will you see to her needs?"

"Dm I'm not some fragile flower," she said slowly. "I appreciate ze concern, amour, but I am determined to go along with you on this rescue…"

"Don't be ridiculous… I brought you back here where it's safe… and I'll hear nothing more…"

"I'm not your assistant, Monsieur Danger Mouse," she said firmly. "And Lori, she is my cousine… and I will NOT be patronized…"

"I'll make the tea, you help 57 to a room to lay down," Bagel nudged Penfold. He nodded numbly, and urged 57 to go with him. Reluctantly, but wanting to avoid the lover's quarrel, he went with the small hamster to a guestroom, while Bagel slipped out to make some tea.

"I'm not even going to discuss this with you," DM said slowly. "Your safety is my responsibility, and heaven forbid anything should happen to you…"

"I will speak to you when I am composed," she said slowly, and turned away, arms folded across her chest. "But my mind is quite made up in this matter…"

"Good grief," DM sighed. He obviously wasn't going to get anywhere in convincing her at this moment. Sighing, he said, "I am only concerned for your safety surely you must…"

"Non," she waved her hand as she walked quickly out to the kitchen. "I will here no more now. Go and do what you must do…"

Again DM sighed and headed to his bedroom, where 730 identical outfits waited for him to change into. HE caught a glimpse of her sad face as she wandered into the kitchen, and joined Bagel who was hurriedly trying to make tea. After a few minutes he came back, and saw that they were still not there. Penfold slowly came back, having changed into one of his customary blue suits.

"ER DM, agent 57 is resting comfortably… but he's rather determined to join you… to rescue M6," he said slowly, afraid to set DM off from his pensive mood.

"Thank you Penfold," DM said slowly.

"Care to talk DM?" Penfold asked slowly. "I am sorry that I interrupted…"

"It's not that Penfold," DM sighed as he flopped down inelegantly on the sofa.

"Ohh I see," Penfold said slowly. "I'd best get along and check to see if the girls need any help…"

"Good, I'll see if Colonel K knows anything…" DM sighed, as he got up and walked over to dial a few buttons on the videophone.

***

In the kitchen, Bagel was trying to get some tea together. She turned to see Fifi L'Amour standing there, and said, "Oh, sorry…"

"Non, do not worry petite one. I just cannot understand ze attitude of ze secret service men… sometimes…" she sighed.

"When you figure it out, clue me in on the secret,' Bagel smiled. "Look, he's being a ding bat, but it's only cause he loves you right?"

"Ah, I know," Fifi smiled slowly as she inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down. Bagel poured her a cup of tea, and both women sat down opposite one another at the two-seater breakfast table.

"I'm worried about her too," Bagel said, reaching her hand out and pressing Fifi's hand by her cup of untouched tea. "She's like a sister to me, and if anything were to happen…"

"Zut Alors, I wish it HAD been me," Fifi sighed. "This dangerous life…"

"She's one of the best secret agents in the world," said Bagel. "If anyone can handle herself it's her… next to DM of course…"

"Of course… but I do not like this… waiting around…" Fifi glanced in the direction of the parlor, where they heard the voice of DM reporting to Colonel K, and the Colonel's responses. "I wish I could DO something… I am not helpless, you know?"

"Well, you don't have to like it," Bagel said. "And anyway, maybe you might feel better with a snack, and a change of clothes. I'm sure Lori has something she wouldn't mind you wearing…"

"Ah Bagel, zat is the perfect idea," Fifi suddenly perked up, a smile coming over her attractive face. Bagel suddenly realized how much like Lori's her eyes were lighting up, and she shook her head.

"Um, you're not thinking what I think you're thinking are you?"

"IT depends, Bagel, on what you think I'm thinking you're thinking about… sacre bleu this is confusing! Where is Lori's room?"

"This way," Bagel said, getting up and showing her the way. Fifi followed her to Lori's guestroom, and let her inside. She opened the doors and showed several casual outfits, and a multitude of Lori's uniforms, neatly pressed. There were at least 100 there, identical and spotless white and blue.

"Merci," she nodded.

"I'll just be in my room, getting changed. If anything happens, we want to be ready…" said Bagel, walking to the door as Fifi glanced over the outfits. "I'm sure she has a pair of jeans and a T shirt… but there isn't much else to make do with…"

"Oui," Fifi nodded. "I shall find something for the occasion no? And merci for your help and sympathy. I can see why mon cousine admires you as her best friend…"

"And I can see what side of the family she gets her determination and passion from… not to stereotype, but are ALL you French so passionate?"

"Oui," she nodded as Bagel left her there, pondering the contents of Lori's closet. As Bagel crept to her room she couldn't help but wonder what was on Fifi's mind, because she could see the wheels turning in Lori's cousin's head. If she was any bit as determined and stubborn as Lori was, DM could be in for QUTIE a problem ahead.

***

"So, your date was interrupted by Wolfgang?" Colonel K asked as he cleared his throat.

"Yes Colonel. Apparently he had some sort of sound weapon, and he was working in concert with someone else…"

"Good Lord DM… I had just heard a report that he had gotten out of the slammer… but our agents have picked up intelligence reports that Cam-Elion Rex is holding Fifi L'Amour for ransom…"

"Good grief," DM sighed, and then suddenly an idea came into his mind. "Wait, Colonel, is he really CERTAIN it's her?"

"Well he seems insistent… and well, he's threatening to take over the world unless his ransom demands are met. And he wants YOU to deliver them in person… or else…"

"I'll get right on it Colonel. Penfold?" DM asked.

"Be careful DM," said the Colonel.

"I always am, especially now… but that isn't Fifi that they have… it's m6…"

"Good show…" said Colonel K, looking surprised.

"But you see if we let them believe they have the real Fifi, then perhaps we are holding a trump card," DM said. "Because the real Fifi is safely here. And Agent 57 and Bagel are here to protect her. I'll just take Penfold, nip over, and we can drop the bag on those two…"

"Good show," Colonel K said. "Over and out…"

"Over and Out. Penfold?"

"DM aren't you going to have a spot of tea?" Penfold asked, ducking out of the kitchen in his apron.

"No time for that. We've got to move…"

"OH not that lift again," Penfold groaned as DM dragged him to the lift. "And what about… her?"

"I'm going now!" DM called.

"Zat is YOUR choice DM," came the reply. "I told you I would be coming… and I'm almost ready!"

"Sorry Fifi, but I can't do that," DM said as he quickly leapt on the sofa, and slid down the elevator shaft with Penfold. "You're staying here where it's safe… come on Penfold…"

"Oh heck DM won't she be cross?" as they disappeared just as Fifi rushed in.

"Come back, you idiots! Trez stupid…" she shouted, and started yelling in French at DM. By the way DM blushed Penfold guessed it wasn't the most flattering of words spoken in the language of love.

"She'll have to understand it's for her own good," DM said slowly, shaking his head. "I can't risk her… it's too dangerous…"

***

Bagel rushed out of the bedroom when she heard Fifi's shout. As she turned she saw the star was wearing gone of Lori's uniforms, and it fit her perfectly, for they were the same size more or less. Her hair was pinned back much like M6, and for a brief moment, if not for the blue eyes, they would have been identical twins.

"What happened, the NERVE…" Bagel got out.

"Men," Fifi sniffed. "He left. I knew he would… Sacre Bleu! And I was thirty seconds from finishing the getting ready!"

"What do we do now?" asked Bagel, leaning down to buckle her Birkenstock Mary Janes she always wore on her missions with Lori.

"WE must find zee way to follow them, non?" Fifi said, slowly pacing around.

"I don't 'know…" said Bagel. "They took the only car… and well…"

"Perhaps I can be of assistance," came a British accented voice. Agent 57 stood there, with the bandage still on his head, but he looked very much like DM's long lost brother #6.

"Dressing for the occasion, are we, Monsieur 57?" Fifi asked, a hand on her hip.

"That freaks me out," bagel jumped. "Tell me HOW we're going to get there without a car?"

"Lori's wrist watch," Fifi said, reaching down to show Bagel. "It has the remote control to her super secret auto does it not…"

"But that's in the repair shop," Bagel stammered out.

"Not QUITE true," 57 coughed. "Apparently the Boffins have fixed it ahead of schedule, due to British automotive genius. And I think I recall seeing it at the HQ…"

"Oh no, you're not thinking…" Bagel groaned.

"WE must go after them. 57, can you drive this sports car?"

"Just watch me," he said with a determined laugh as he took Lori's wristwatch and strapped it on his wrist. "Now the recall button should be here…"

"Oy vey," Bagel groaned as she soon heard the sound of a car engine, and she looked at her two friends.

"Is this how DM does it?" Fifi asked as she moved to the sofa and sat down. 57 and bagel sat on either side, and it was enough weight to get the lift to go down, at a quick rate. They all spilled into the Gail 6, which had backed up at the foot of the slide. 57 got behind the wheel, and he was wearing a pair of goggles, helmet and a scarf like a WWI flying ace.

"Hold on ladies… I got it I think…" he said as he started the car, and they roared out, into the night.

"Au secors!" Fifi shouted as she hung onto the car for dear life, and Bagel moaned as the wings extended and they were airborne. She reached into her pocket to find the case she had put there, for her contact lenses. She had seen a few items in Lori's room, and Bagel barely noticed that Fifi's eyes were not blue, but now pink, exactly like Lori's eyes would look.

"Oy, here we go again," Bagel moaned, making sure her seatbelt was secure.

***

Lori slowly shook her head as the sack was removed, and she was dumped unceremoniously on the floor. She glanced up to see Nevermore standing over her, in her black ninja guise, and felt the extra strong ropes binding her wrists together. All in all she was trussed up like a Christmas turkey.

"Ahh, the famed Fifi L'Amour," said Wolfgang. "To think but a mere costume change would make you deceive us. But you will grace us with your beautiful voice, and have the chance of a lifetime that you denied me… in turning down my affections before…"

"Are you quite certain this is the right mouse?" Cam-Elion asked. Lori suddenly got her wits about her, and glanced up at her captors. An idea dawned in her mind, and she glanced from one to another.

"Zut Alors!" she shouted in French. "This eez an OUTRAGE. I demand to see my manager!"

"It sounds like her," said Wolfgang.

"But still," Cam Elion glanced at her carefully, but she glared back at him, still in her blue gown and hair, her makeup thick and attractive. "We must be sure. She looks VERY similar to Agent M6…."

"What eez this?" Lori demanded in a perfect imitation of her cousin's accent. "You cannot hold me here… Danger Mouse… he will rescue me, and vous will be most sorry indeed, non?"

"The plan is simple, Mademoiselle," said Wolfgang. "You will cooperate, or things could get very nasty. I require your aid. Someone of your performing caliber is essential to my plans…"

"What he means is…"

"Au secors, you are vile scoundrels indeed!" Lori shrilled, and started to curse at them in fluent French.

"No doubt you'll change your tune soon enough. For Agent Dangermouse and England will pay handsomely for your return. Or else the French government will pay to get you back," said Cam Elion. "Either way, we win. But if you DO cooperate, those you love most dearly will not suffer the consequences when they come after you!"

"Monsters!" she spat, kicking wildly. "You well NEVER get me to cooperate!"

Wolfgang sighed as he took Cam Elion aside and whispered, "She is a diva, and you must handle this with the utmost delicacy. I cannot have her voice damaged… if she continues to scream like that… she'll ruin it…"

"Then we must stop that, before I get an ear ache," Cam Elion mumbled. "Nevermore, kindly silence our guest…"

Continuing to shout unflattering epithets in French, she knew Nevermore was behind her, but instead of reacting, she fumed as Nevermore slipped a gag over her mouth, silencing her. Slowly nevermore hoisted her to her feet, and she glared daggers at her two kidnappers. Wolfgang sighed and strode over to her, lightly running a finger down her cheek, "Mademoiselle, you should reconsider. Because if you DO cooperate, you might have the crowning star in your tiara. Just think… the world will be your oyster…"

"Save the pleasantries for later, Wolfie," said Cam with a sneer. "I'm going to perfect your little toy, to make SURE it will deliver. You've got a few bugs in the design…"

"The plan was to use her voice as the perfect harmony, to lure the world to my whims," Wolfgang said angrily, as Cam Elion motioned to the huge organ console with pipes spread here and there.

"This design though brilliant is the work of an amateur. And most of it is copied from Baron Greenback. You wouldn't want him suing you for patent infringement would you? As I recall, he used a very similar device only it was loaded with bagpipes…"

"That is impossible!" Wolfgang snapped, scandalized.

"Evil geniuses DO tend to repeat the usual take over the world plots. But I am different. I am an original. Do you want to go down in history as the one who used a recycled world domination scheme?' Cam Elion asked as he changed back into his green form, with his tan suit and Dockers pants.

"Philistine, I will not treat her with any less respect. For she is an artist," Wolfgang snapped. "And if..."

"Cool your artistic jets, Wolfie," said Cam Elion, not impressed. "Face it. Without me you wouldn't have the diva. And you'd be another second rate has been under Danger Mouse's…"

"Boss, Danger Mouse… he's approaching," Nevermore pointed to a bleeping light on a nearby computer console. Cam Elion rushed to the keyboard and punched a button, showing the Mark III with DM and Penfold behind the wheel.

"Thank you. Now DO try and convince your… protegee to cooperate, if you're SO inclined, while I sort out your invention," said Cam Elion. "And I'll prepare a suitable welcome for your arch rival…"

"I shall return," said Wolfgang, as he took the struggling 'diva' from Nadine Nevermore. She backed away at the glare in the lion's eyes, as he escorted their 'guest' out of the room.

"Are you going to let that mad musician push you around boss?"

"He's just a stooge, in my plan. You think I'd let a rank amateur deprive me of the glory of defeating Danger Mouse?" Cam Elion rolled his beady globes for eyes. "Really!"

"No boss," Nadine grinned. "So how are we going to settle his hash?"

"Plan B-6," said Cam Elion. "I'm sure he won't recognize it…"

"Great, that's my favorite," smiled Nadine as she trotted off to get ready. Cam Elion smiled at her, and then turned to the viewscreen.

"Very soon, DM, you'll be a foot note in history. And your precious diva girlfriend will be my ticket to a world domination tour. Either way I'm holding ALL the cards, and you're going DOWN for the count…"

"Philistine," mumbled Wolfgang as he cut Lori's bonds. "I must apologize. I had no intention of harming you. But I must convince you that I only want the recognition classical musicians like me and you deserve. And I cannot understand WHY you chose the realm of pop… but I will overlook it."

All he got was a glare from the 'diva' in response. He sighed and showed her down the hall to a comfortable cell, with Louis XVI furniture, where he sat her down in a chair, and locked her hands to the chair arms with a pair of golden cuffs. "Now my songbird, you will learn my creation. And at the time when my machine is complete, you will sing, and the whole WORLD will fall under your spell…"

All Lori could do was continue to glare with a look that meant, "When donkeys fly, you jerk!"

***