A/N: Yay! Reviews! (gives reviewers cookies and pats them on the head)
Just to clear Some stuff up: Charro is a Latin singer from the 80's and
Bjork is a weird Icelandic pop-rock singer. She showed up to the Oscars in
a dress made out of a stuffed swan a few years ago. Scary. Anyway, here
goes.
Chapter 3: Someone Get This Kid Hooked on Phonics! NOW!
(at the Destiny Islands Public Library)
Sora: We have a library? Just like the one in Hollow Bastion?!
Aerith: Yes...
Sora: Cool! I'm gonna go rearrange the books.
Aerith: No, dearest, we need to research the Heartless!
Sora: You mean these books have..words in them?
Aerith: Yes. Now if I were a book on the Heartless where would I be?
Sora: (picks up a book and tries to read it) Se-e Jonee roon. Se-e Jo-h-n roon. Se-e Spot roon. (takes the book to Aerith) Mommy, is this book about the Heartless?
Aerith: Er..no, sweetie this is a book for four year olds. Now put it back.
Sora: Oh.. (he can't remember where he got it, so he chunks it across the room. It just so happens to hit...)
Selphie: I swear, Sora, you illiterate freak, I'm gonna kill you this time!!!!!!!!! (she runs after him with her jump rope, ready to strike)
Sora: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (he tries to pull out his Ultima Weapon, but then he remembers Riku took it. He screams bloody murder and runs through the library, knocking down countless shelves in the process)
Selphie: (backing him into a corner) Hahaha, I've got you now, sucker!
Librarian: SHHHH!!!!! Use your indoor voices.
Selphie: Sorry! (whispering) Say your prayers, kid. (she starts whipping him)
Sora: Ow! Stop-Ow! Selphie, what are you doing?
Selphie: (still whispering) I'm trying to murder you!
Sora: Why?
Selphie: Because- um...because.... Because you're so friggin' ANNOYING! If thy made a game about me, I'm sure the whole world wouldn't try to drown me inside Monstro! Or let Maleficent kill me on purpose!
(Author whistles)
Librarian: (to author) Sir, would you please be quiet?
(whistling stops)
(meanwhile, Aerith has found something of interest)
Aerith: (is reading "Heartless For Dummies") Hmm.very interesting. (flips through pages) Aha! It says here, "Once Kingdom Hearts is sealed, it can never be reopened. That means no more Heartless can appear unless.. (turns page, but that's the end of the book) Unless what? Wait...there must be a page missing. I only know of one person that could answer my question...(shouting) Sora! We're leaving!
Librarian: Shh.
(Selphie is still attacking Sora with her jump rope of destruction)
Sora: Coming mommy (he has a black eye and several bruises. He knocks Selphie away and runs out of the library with Aerith)
Selphie: Ugh! I'll get you one day, Sora, I know I will..
(Meanwhile in Hollow Bastion)
Dr. Finklestein: (holds up the shiny new keyblade) Behold! The power to unlock people's hearts and beat the crap out of Heartless is yours! (gives it to Wendy)
Wendy: (takes it and giggles with excitement) The power is all mine! Soon I shall control the world! (she starts dancing)
Riku: Okay, that's a little out of hand!
Kairi: Umm...I'm gonna go use the little girls' room. Excuse me. (she walks out of the room)
Wendy: Alright! (she sits down in the throne she has set up by where the black hole used to be)
Riku: So, I brought you the keyblade. You gonna pay me, or what?
Wendy: All in due course Riku, all in due course. Kairi will fall madly in love with you in no time and you both shall be freed from doing my evil bidding, but I'm not through with you yet.
Riku: And how exactly are you going to make her fall in love with me?
Wendy: (strokes the keyblade) Ah, the glorious powers of the keyblade. I'm surprise more people don't go after this thing. It's quite useful really.
Riku: You remind me of someone else I used to know.
Wendy: ...
Riku: Never mind.
(knock on the door)
High Voice: Yoo Hoo!
Wendy: Oh goodie! It's the four popstars of heart needed to complete my evil plan. (to the visitors) Coming! (she runs to the door and opens it, welcoming Micheal Jackson, Cher, and Bjork inside) Where's Charro...
Cher: Filing for bankruptcy.
Wendy: Really...I suppose this could work with only three..
Micheal Jackson: Yeah, so why are we here.
Bjork: I like butterflies. They is so potato.
Wendy: Excuse me?
Cher: Bjork is a little loopy.
Wendy: Mhm..so anyway...let's step this way a little bit so we can have a demonstration of how you're going to help me take over the universe.
Cher: And get a hefty payment I hope.
Bjork: Lalala picnics are my friend.
Wendy: Riiiight.. Ahem, yes indeed you will be paid a large bundle of munny you can be guaranteed...but that depends upon how effectively you perform your little assignment.
MJ: Which is....
Wendy: (flickers keyblade) This is a keyblade.
All: OOOOOOO
Wendy: It has the power to unlock people's hearts.
MJ: And overflow the world with love! Yes it's brilliant!
Wendy: Erm..no..but close. It turns them into Heartless. (looks at their confused expressions) Soulless, mindless creatures that obey the holder of the keyblade. (everyone nods)
Riku: Excuse me..but I think you got that wrong. The keyblade doesn't control the Heartless, only battles them.
Wendy: Well..I had a special control thingee...shut up! No one asked you!
Riku: Just thought I'd add some commentary...
Wendy: Anyway, the Heartless...
Cher: I still don't understand the whole concept.
MJ: Me neither.
Bjork: (singing) Come play in my magic tunnel. It makes a purple noise that makes me pet it..
Wendy: Will someone shut her up?!
Cher: Tried.
Wendy: Anyway. Let's have a demonstration of the power of the keyblade. (points the keyblade at Dr. Finklestein) Open your heart to DARKNESS!
Finklestein: Gah! (he writhes around in his chair and turns into a Search Ghost)
(the group applauds. Riku runs away, afraid he might be next)
MJ: So, do they all look like that?
Wendy: No, they come in many different varieties. Like.. (turns around looking for Riku, but he's gone) rats.
Cher: So, where do we come in.
Wendy: Well, since you are all universally known singers... (looks at Bjork) I think... You will be around a large group of people often, correct?
All: (nod)
Wendy: Good.. when you are at a concert, you shall be equipped the keybalde. Don't worry, I'll give it to you. In the process of the concert, whip out the keyblade and transform everyone into a Heartless using the simple incantation I used. Everyone cool with that?
All: (nod)
MJ: Let's go eat yogurt!
(they all go)
(a spy seems to be lurking in the background)
Spy: Uh oh, not good. Must tell. (leaves
A/N: Hey everyone! Keep R/Rin'! Bye
Chapter 3: Someone Get This Kid Hooked on Phonics! NOW!
(at the Destiny Islands Public Library)
Sora: We have a library? Just like the one in Hollow Bastion?!
Aerith: Yes...
Sora: Cool! I'm gonna go rearrange the books.
Aerith: No, dearest, we need to research the Heartless!
Sora: You mean these books have..words in them?
Aerith: Yes. Now if I were a book on the Heartless where would I be?
Sora: (picks up a book and tries to read it) Se-e Jonee roon. Se-e Jo-h-n roon. Se-e Spot roon. (takes the book to Aerith) Mommy, is this book about the Heartless?
Aerith: Er..no, sweetie this is a book for four year olds. Now put it back.
Sora: Oh.. (he can't remember where he got it, so he chunks it across the room. It just so happens to hit...)
Selphie: I swear, Sora, you illiterate freak, I'm gonna kill you this time!!!!!!!!! (she runs after him with her jump rope, ready to strike)
Sora: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (he tries to pull out his Ultima Weapon, but then he remembers Riku took it. He screams bloody murder and runs through the library, knocking down countless shelves in the process)
Selphie: (backing him into a corner) Hahaha, I've got you now, sucker!
Librarian: SHHHH!!!!! Use your indoor voices.
Selphie: Sorry! (whispering) Say your prayers, kid. (she starts whipping him)
Sora: Ow! Stop-Ow! Selphie, what are you doing?
Selphie: (still whispering) I'm trying to murder you!
Sora: Why?
Selphie: Because- um...because.... Because you're so friggin' ANNOYING! If thy made a game about me, I'm sure the whole world wouldn't try to drown me inside Monstro! Or let Maleficent kill me on purpose!
(Author whistles)
Librarian: (to author) Sir, would you please be quiet?
(whistling stops)
(meanwhile, Aerith has found something of interest)
Aerith: (is reading "Heartless For Dummies") Hmm.very interesting. (flips through pages) Aha! It says here, "Once Kingdom Hearts is sealed, it can never be reopened. That means no more Heartless can appear unless.. (turns page, but that's the end of the book) Unless what? Wait...there must be a page missing. I only know of one person that could answer my question...(shouting) Sora! We're leaving!
Librarian: Shh.
(Selphie is still attacking Sora with her jump rope of destruction)
Sora: Coming mommy (he has a black eye and several bruises. He knocks Selphie away and runs out of the library with Aerith)
Selphie: Ugh! I'll get you one day, Sora, I know I will..
(Meanwhile in Hollow Bastion)
Dr. Finklestein: (holds up the shiny new keyblade) Behold! The power to unlock people's hearts and beat the crap out of Heartless is yours! (gives it to Wendy)
Wendy: (takes it and giggles with excitement) The power is all mine! Soon I shall control the world! (she starts dancing)
Riku: Okay, that's a little out of hand!
Kairi: Umm...I'm gonna go use the little girls' room. Excuse me. (she walks out of the room)
Wendy: Alright! (she sits down in the throne she has set up by where the black hole used to be)
Riku: So, I brought you the keyblade. You gonna pay me, or what?
Wendy: All in due course Riku, all in due course. Kairi will fall madly in love with you in no time and you both shall be freed from doing my evil bidding, but I'm not through with you yet.
Riku: And how exactly are you going to make her fall in love with me?
Wendy: (strokes the keyblade) Ah, the glorious powers of the keyblade. I'm surprise more people don't go after this thing. It's quite useful really.
Riku: You remind me of someone else I used to know.
Wendy: ...
Riku: Never mind.
(knock on the door)
High Voice: Yoo Hoo!
Wendy: Oh goodie! It's the four popstars of heart needed to complete my evil plan. (to the visitors) Coming! (she runs to the door and opens it, welcoming Micheal Jackson, Cher, and Bjork inside) Where's Charro...
Cher: Filing for bankruptcy.
Wendy: Really...I suppose this could work with only three..
Micheal Jackson: Yeah, so why are we here.
Bjork: I like butterflies. They is so potato.
Wendy: Excuse me?
Cher: Bjork is a little loopy.
Wendy: Mhm..so anyway...let's step this way a little bit so we can have a demonstration of how you're going to help me take over the universe.
Cher: And get a hefty payment I hope.
Bjork: Lalala picnics are my friend.
Wendy: Riiiight.. Ahem, yes indeed you will be paid a large bundle of munny you can be guaranteed...but that depends upon how effectively you perform your little assignment.
MJ: Which is....
Wendy: (flickers keyblade) This is a keyblade.
All: OOOOOOO
Wendy: It has the power to unlock people's hearts.
MJ: And overflow the world with love! Yes it's brilliant!
Wendy: Erm..no..but close. It turns them into Heartless. (looks at their confused expressions) Soulless, mindless creatures that obey the holder of the keyblade. (everyone nods)
Riku: Excuse me..but I think you got that wrong. The keyblade doesn't control the Heartless, only battles them.
Wendy: Well..I had a special control thingee...shut up! No one asked you!
Riku: Just thought I'd add some commentary...
Wendy: Anyway, the Heartless...
Cher: I still don't understand the whole concept.
MJ: Me neither.
Bjork: (singing) Come play in my magic tunnel. It makes a purple noise that makes me pet it..
Wendy: Will someone shut her up?!
Cher: Tried.
Wendy: Anyway. Let's have a demonstration of the power of the keyblade. (points the keyblade at Dr. Finklestein) Open your heart to DARKNESS!
Finklestein: Gah! (he writhes around in his chair and turns into a Search Ghost)
(the group applauds. Riku runs away, afraid he might be next)
MJ: So, do they all look like that?
Wendy: No, they come in many different varieties. Like.. (turns around looking for Riku, but he's gone) rats.
Cher: So, where do we come in.
Wendy: Well, since you are all universally known singers... (looks at Bjork) I think... You will be around a large group of people often, correct?
All: (nod)
Wendy: Good.. when you are at a concert, you shall be equipped the keybalde. Don't worry, I'll give it to you. In the process of the concert, whip out the keyblade and transform everyone into a Heartless using the simple incantation I used. Everyone cool with that?
All: (nod)
MJ: Let's go eat yogurt!
(they all go)
(a spy seems to be lurking in the background)
Spy: Uh oh, not good. Must tell. (leaves
A/N: Hey everyone! Keep R/Rin'! Bye