I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time but I have recently lost my boyfriend, Leigh, of two years to a car accident. This happened about 3 weeks ago so I haven't been in the mood for updating. I wasn't honestly planning on making this a multi chaptered fic I really wasn't. It was supposed to be a one shot but I've been swamped by emails asking for more. I probably could have made this chapter better, I did try so sorry if it's no good.

Disclaimer: I still don't own.

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There was wind. It was cold. The night wrapped around the both of them in a loving caress, cutting them off from the society around them. Intimate. Isolating and somewhat lonely. On any other occasion this would be considered a blessing, time alone was hard to come by for the pair. But not tonight. Tonight there was a chill on the air and an unidentifiable sense of pain lingered in the atmosphere. Something terrible was happening.

"So" The question was spoken softly, in a tone that suggested that the speaker didn't really want to know the answer.

"I got the test results back." An equally soft reply.

Green eyes looked imploringly into misty silver ones.

"And?"

Silence.

"Draco please."

"I'm sick Harry."

Harry closed his eyes, pain clenching his heart in a vice like grip.

"Sick how?" The green orbs once again locked onto silver.

"Its…cancer Harry. I've got cancer." Draco choked on the words starting to shake violently. Harry immediately wrapped his arms about his lover holding the trembling body close to his own as he fought to control his own sobs.

"I'm so, so sorry Draco, I'm so sorry." Harry repeated over and over, stroking Draco's hair trying to comfort him.

"Well get through it."

"How Harry?" Draco sobbed. "What if…what if I don't get better? I don't want to die!"

"Never" Harry stated firmly. "That's never going to happen Draco."

*We won't let. He promised silently. We won't let it.*

There was wind. It was cold. Icy gusts crept in through the open window, ruffling the curtains and sliding over the large bed. The occupant shifted stretching an arm out across the sheets blindly. Searching. His mind unwilling to let go of the memory that lingered that once a warm body shared his bed.

A tear slid down his cheek.

A sob.

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"I'm really worried about him Ron."

"I know Mione. He hasn't been into work for a month now."

"A month" Hermione repeated "ever since Draco…"

"Yeah." Ron nodded "I think the Ministry's getting annoyed with him being away for so long, there's been some talk of him being fired."

"What?!" Hermione shifted in the passenger seat to face her husband "They can't do that! They know what he's going through!"

"You don't have to tell me that Mione, tell them. Though I do agree with the absent part. He needs to get out of that apartment. This whole self isolation thing he's got going on cant be healthy."

Hermione slumped back in her seat, her eyes downcast.

"I'm really getting worried. He's in so much pain but he won't let anyone help him."

"Well that's why we're going to see him today isn't it? To try and help?"

"Yeah…try."

They had half been expecting an emotional wreck. They had even expected that he would be back on the booze and blind drunk, but the person who answered the door was neither. He was worse. He looked cold, a stony emotionless shell of what he once was. His face was an expressionless mask, his eyes were dull.

"Oh…hey."

"Hey mate." Ron said making a strained effort to be cheerful.

"Come in." Harry said shuffling back inside.

"Well at least he's letting us in this time." Ron mumbled to his wife.

The apartment was clean enough, minimal rubbish at least. It was dark, all the curtains drawn, and very cold. Hermione noted with a small amount of relief that the smell of alcohol wasn't around nor could she see any signs of any bottles either.

However Harry didn't look good. His hair was more mussed than what was usual even for him. He was sloppily dressed and very pale and sickly looking. He even looked as if he had lost weight. That was not an encouraging sign. She pursed her lips.

"So why are you here?" Harry asked bluntly.

"Well." Hermione started. "We were going out today we thought you might like to come."

"No I don't."

"Oh come on." Ron interjected "It will be fun."

"I don't think so."

"Harry I really think that-"

"I don't care what you think Hermione I said no."

Hurt by the harsh words but trying not to show it she tried again.

"Harry you need to get out, you've locked yourself away ever since the funeral and-"

"Don't," Harry said quietly "Just don't."

"But Harry.."

"I said don't." Harry's voice began raising in anger. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I think you should Harry, you need someone to talk to. I know that you're hurting right now."

"Shut up!" Harry yelled. Ron and Hermione jumped.

"You don't have any clue as to how much I'm fucking hurting right now, so just shut up."

"Look she only trying to help you." Ron said.

"Well I don't want it!" Harry screeched "I never asked for it!"

"Well you certainly need it." Hermione snapped "Draco's dead Harry. I know it's hard but you need to start piecing your life back together, you need help."

"Get out." Harry's voice was eerily calm but held an unmistakable threatening edge to it.

"What?"

"I said get out. I don't want to talk to either one of you right now."

"Harry." Ron started.

"Don't you understand the words get out?! Go. Leave. I don't want you here." With that Harry stomped back to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Ron sighed "let's just go, we're not helping here right now."

"But…" Hermione trailed off biting at her bottom lip as she eyed the door Harry had just slammed. She sighed heavily her arms dropping to her side. She nodded slowly.

*Harry cant you see your grief is killing you. I don't want to lose you, please let us help you.*

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His eyes were blurry and it wasn't because he wasn't wearing his glasses. Hot tears clouded up his line of vision but he made no move to scrub them away. Instead his hands buried themselves in his raven locks, gripping the strands and pulling hard enough that the hair was threatening to tear from his scalp. He couldn't feel it though, he felt numb. The only feeling he had was the anger and pain inside of him.

"Why did you leave me?!!" he screamed.

"Why did you take him from me?!"

Silence.

With a scream of frustration he hurled a framed photograph, from the bedside table, across the room.

It smashed into the wall, the glass shattering into a million tiny glittering shards.

"Oh no." Harry breathed out as it sunk in as to what he had just done.

"No!"

He threw himself to the floor, ignoring the sharp hot pain as the glass bit into his hands. He frantically sorted through the debris and finally extracted the crumpled photo that had been inside of it. It was scratched up a bit but thankfully still intact. It had been the last photo that had ever been taken of himself and Draco.

Shaking, bloody, hands smoothed it out as best they could and a trembling finger slowly traced over the glossy paper tears splashing on the surface. He cradled the photo to himself as he got up from the floor and sat hard on the end of the bed, breathing heavily.

Why was this happening to him? First his parents, then Sirius and now…now Draco was gone too. Everyone kept leaving him. Why? Wasn't he a good person? He saved the world, he didn't deserve this!

"I want you back." He whispered furiously.

"It's not fair, and I want you back!"

His eyes suddenly fell upon his wand lying on the floor. His eyes widened as an idea wormed its way into his head.

Perhaps he could get him back…

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He glided soundlessly down the corridor; years of Aurora training had taught him to mask his footsteps well. He shifted his invisibility cloak to cover himself a bit more, not wanting to take the risk of being seen. Stealing after all wasn't looked upon kindly. At the end of the corridor a locked, heavyset, oak door stood. Stopping at the door Harry pulled his wand out and tapped the lock.

"Alohomora."

The lock clicked and the door swung open- Harry glided through it and shut it quickly. Blood was pounding in his ears, if he got caught…

He shook the thought off and licked his lips. It was going to be worth it he knew that much. He let out the breath he had been holding in, nerves gone, he held up his wand.

"Lumos."

The tip ignited and spread its light about the room. This was it, the Ministry's library of confiscated books. There were literally hundreds of dark arts books lining the shelves most had been taken from the homes of Death Eaters though some had been taken off the black market too.

Harry set to work, using his wand light to read the titles, finger running over the spines as he went.

Luckily for him it only took a couple of minutes to find what he was looking for. He pulled a small black and dusty book from the shelf. Its faded gold lettering stamped across the cover spelled out the title:

NECROMANCY, VODDOO AND BLACK MAGIC.

Harry smiled.

"Nox."

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She shouldn't have come back, today anyway. Harry needed time she knew that only…she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Very wrong. As much as she tried to dismiss it and put it down to overreacting she couldn't. In the end she had begged Ron to drive her back to Harry's apartment so she could at least put this nagging feeling to rest. She had left Ron in the car, with assurances that she would be good to go up alone.

She knocked. The door swung open easily. This was unexpected.

"Hello?" She called out waiting for a response.

None came.

"Harry?"

She stepped into the apartment. It looked the same as it did this morning. Nothing seemed out of place or suspicious. It was just quiet. Very quiet.

"Harry are you here?"

Nothing.

Her nerves began acting up again as she walked through the apartment. She checked the kitchen, the lounge room and even the laundry there was no sign of him. He couldn't have gone out, he seemed determined to waste away inside his apartment.

Wait what was that?

A sliver of light could be seen underneath the crack of the bathroom door. Her blood ran cold. He wouldn't…

*Oh please no.*

Her sweaty hand grasped the doorknob and turned. The door opened and revealed…nothing.

She let out a harsh breath; her stomach slowly unclenched itself. She had been fearing the worst then; grief after all could make people to desperate things. She reached up and flicked the light off. There was one more room to go. The bedroom.

The bedroom was a mess, bits of glass littered the floor and there were clothes strewn carelessly about. Draco was always the neat freak not Harry. She smiled wryly at that, remembering the couple's fights over the cleanliness of the apartment. They were always funny to watch.

She was about to leave when a small opened book lying on the bed caught her eyes. She walked over picked it up for a closer look. At first she thought it may have been a diary but upon closer inspection she saw that it was no diary at all. She recognized the spidery like writing to be infact spells. Not just standard spells either, there were dark.

The book was entirely hand written the ink smudged in some places. A definite one of a kind, very expensive and very illegal. Turning the delicate tissue paper like pages she grew more and more alarmed as she read over the various spells and hexes. What was Harry doing with such a book? Where would he even pick up something like this? She was almost certain that Draco had kept some of his families old spell books around somewhere in the apartment but nothing this dark, so it couldn't have been his.

She noticed that one of the pages had been torn out, curious she flipped to the front and scanned the contents. She gasped in horror when she saw what was on the missing page.

Resurrection.

She dropped the book.

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He scanned over the page once more making sure he was clear on what he had to do.

Resurrection:

Approach the grave of the chosen corpse at sunset or midnight. Draw a circle around the grave; burn a mixture of henbane, aloe wood, hemlock, saffron, opium, and mandrake. With the coffin open, touch the corpse three times with a wand and tell it to rise.

He already had drawn the circle and had arranged the ingredients, made ready for the burning. It would be sunset soon too so all he had to do was dig up Draco's coffin. He felt like he was in a daze as he went for the shovel he had brought with him, he was both giddy and scared, it was the continual knowledge that he would soon have his Draco back that was urging him on now. He lifted the shovel in the air ready to plunge it into the earth.

"Harry!"

"Harry stop!"

Harry dropped the shovel in surprise and with narrowed eyes, turned around just as Ron and Hermione rushed up.

"Get out of here."

"Like hell we will!" Ron fumed. "What the hell do you think your doing?!"

"What ever it takes." Harry snapped back.

"Harry you cant do this." Hermione pleaded "This isnt right."

"Taking him away from me wasn't right!" Harry screamed.

"But Harry this is wrong! That spell is pure evil. People never come back right!"

"It will still be Draco." Harry argued.

"Mate listen to reason, this spell isn't going to help you."

"Shut up." Harry clapped his hands over his ears. "Just shut up! Leave me alone!"

"Not going to happen." Ron said firmly moving closer to Harry.

Harry suddenly pulled out his wand and aimed it threateningly at Ron.

"Don't make me curse you Ron, because so help me I will."

"Harry we've been friends forever. I only want to help you please."

"Back off Ron." Harry growled.

"Expelliarmus!" Hermione shouted.

Harry let out a frustrated yell as his wand flew out of his hand to land a few feet away. He ran forward to pick it up but Ron was quicker and he tackled Harry to the ground. As they were struggling the spell fell out of Harry's hand and it fluttered a short way away. Hermione spotted it and raised her wand. Harry went very still when he realized what Hermione was going to do.

"No Hermione don't." Harry pleaded.

"I'm sorry Harry." Hermione said closing her eyes as tears started to leak out. She pointed her wand at the spell.

"No please!" Harry cried out renewing his struggles against Ron.

"Incendio."

The spell burst into flames.

Harry managed to knock Ron off of him and flung himself upon the still burning spell, trying desperately to put out the flames, burning his hands in the process.

Ron swore and grabbed his friend about the waist and hauled him away from the fire. Harry spasmed and twisted in Ron's embrace his every fiber fighting. After a few minutes the flames died down, and Harry went slack in Ron's grip. Ron loosened his hold slightly and Harry roughly wrenched himself loose. He turned to them, a wild look in his eyes.

"Why did you do that?!" he shrieked.

"We did it to save you." Hermione retorted her chest heaving.

"Save me? Save me? How the hell did you save me?!" Harry was getting hysterical again. "You stopped me from getting back the one thing that could save me!"

"Your wrong Harry!" Hermione was screaming now too. "If you had performed that spell it wouldn't have been right! The person you would have gotten wouldn't have been Draco, he may have looked like Draco but it wouldn't be the same! He wouldn't be the same. That spell is evil Harry no good can ever come out of an evil spell and you know it!" Her voice softened. "You being blinded by grief, you can't see the damage you would have caused, it wouldn't have been fair on Draco or yourself for that matter. I know you're in pain Harry but this is not the way."

"How do you know what pain I'm in? You have no idea Hermione!" Harry was shaking and his voice started cracking.

"It hurts me everyday. It doesn't stop it never stops! He was everything to me and now he's gone. I don't deserve this I don't." Harry fell to the ground.

Ron automatically went to his side and flung his arms about Harry hugging him tightly. With a strangled cry Harry slumped against Ron crying.

"Oh Harry" Hermione whispered sinking to her knees beside her husband and her best friend. She also wound her arms around Harry feeling the violently trembling body as he sobbed. Her heart was breaking.

"Sometimes terrible things happen Harry, I can't explain to you why, they just do. Its wrong and its unfair and you don't deserve it Harry, you've already lost so many and it hurts me that you have to go through this again. You don't deserve this, you don't all I can say is that I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry you have to feel this pain."

"Mione I can't take it. I thought I could deal but I cant. What am I going to do without him?"

"We are going to help you. I promise you we will." Ron said biting back his tears.

Ron and Hermione hugged Harry and rocked him back and forth as one would a child as he clung to them like his one and only lifeline, and in every way they were.

They sat like that together as the afternoon gave way to night, Ron and Hermione whispering soothing words and assurances that all would be ok someday.

The sun dipped behind the hills.

Its such a perfect day,

I'm glad I spent it with you,

Such a perfect day,

You just keep me hanging on.

Lou Reed, Perfect Day