Author's Note: Beware to anyone who reads this fic. You will have to have a
very good sense of humor to enjoy this. Any people who like Pegasus or Yami
from Yu-Gi-Oh should not read this fic. If you like Dark Link from Legend
of Zelda you should not read this fic. If you are one of those people who
say " Mommy mommy! They said the D word!!" then I highly suggest you don't
read this fic. This is just for pure entertainment and should NOT, I repeat
should NOT be taken seriously. We love anime and would never try to hurt it
in any way. Thank you.
Another Author's note: this story contains the anime/video game/movie Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Legend of Zelda, and Lord of the Rings. If you are not fluent with any of these things, you will be seriously lost. Thank you.
Another Another Author's note: just to give you a bit of a background on the author's. Zoragirl is a pink mermaid with rainbow hair being from the planet Saturn. Chibineko is a cat like creature from Pluto with grey fur for her cat resemblance and blue and red neon hair for her human side. She wears a black trench coat just like Kaiba's. Can any one tell why? O.V. is a real cool dude from the planet Venus with blonde hair that is neoned orange and has a real cool out fit with a shirt with a dragon on it. He is also a Jedi (star wars). Thank you again and now we will get on with the story you have rightful deserved.
Another Another Another Author's note: we do not own anything we mention in this story. All we own is the names Chibineko, Zoragirl, O.V., and Bob the Magical Blue Goldfish. We don't need to tell you who Bob is because his name says what he is. Thanks and now we will get to the story. Thank you!
The Weakest Link Link: Hello and you are watching the Weakest Link! I am your host Link! Dark Link: and Dark Link! Link: uhh..ok, well, anyway on with the show. Let's meet our contestants. The first contestant is Mina! Come on down!
Mina comes running out waving and jumping up and down. Mina: Hi! I'm on TV! Link: Yes we all know that. Now lets bring out Mamoru!
Mamoru timidly steps out and goes to his post. Voice from audience: WHAT! I am not leaving her alone with him! I'm coming down and no one is going to stop me!
The voice was actually the voice of Setsuna. Setsuna pulls out her time staff and starts whacking people on the head to try and get down to the lower level. She finally gets there, takes a post and glares at Mina. Link: uhh. ok lets meet Setsuna! Dark Link: Hey she's kinda cute. Link: Shut up! And get out of here! Dark Link: Make me! Link: Ugh! Never mind! Ok lets bring out Hotaru! Woo Hoo!
Music starts playing (the music from Space Jam, you know the one that says you all ready for this) and Hotaru is surrounded by flower petals that magically appeared out of nowhere. Hotaru: AHHHH! I swallowed one!
Hotaru is thoroughly pissed off and madly walks to her post. Link: Give a big boo to the boo boo herself, Serena! Audience: BOO! Serena: I'm so happy! They like me, they really like me! Link: Now lets bring out Kaiba! Setsuna: Woo Hoo!!
Kaiba is standing in the entrance with his cape billowing in the air. He then starts to strut down the stairs when he trips on a flower petal, falling down the stairs and landing face first. Link: I cannot see how Super Stupid Moon missed tripping on those.
Setsuna runs up to Kaiba's side and says, "Oh its ok Kaiba, let me help you." and starts making out with him. Mina: Hey! I didn't know that was allowed!
Mina then grabs Mamoru and starts making out with him. Link: Its not allowed so break it up! Ok now lets bring out. what is this right.are your sure. do I have to.. Fine. Here's Legolas. BOO!
Legolas skips out and sees a beautiful and rare flower. Hotaru: Man where are all these flowers coming from? Legolas: oh what a beautiful flower! I think I shall.KILL STUPID FLOWER! DIE! WE HATES STUPID FLOWER!
Legolas stomps and kills the flower and then takes out his bow and starts killing butterflies. While that is happening, Bakura comes out. Bakura: Hey I wanted Chinese!
Bakura sticks his hand out in the air and a butterfly lands on it. Legolas: KILL!
Bakura screams like a girl and runs up to Setsuna. Setsuna takes the opportunity to make out with Bakura. Kaiba gets jealous and throws a little fit. Link: Now lets bring out the ancient pharaoh Yami!
Yami steps out and spies Kaiba. Yami: I challenge you to a duel! Link: This is not Duel Monsters now break it up and get back to your post! Yami: You don't push me around, I'm older than you are!
He then pokes his arm and it turns to dust. Another one automatically grows in its place. (Chibineko: That's just gross!) One of the storywriters.
Yami holds up a card and tries to throw it at Kaiba. Hotaru sensing it was the Celtic Guardian jumps up and puts it in her bra. Hotaru: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love Celtic Guardian! Mina: Hotaru give me that! It's dangerous! Hotaru: No never! Mina: Hotaru being the responsible adult I am, I will have to show you through example how dangerous it is shoving cards down your bra! Give me one of those!
Mina grabs almost have the deck and shoves it down her bra. While that is happening, Kaiba feels something moving around in his pocket. Kaiba turns around to see Setsuna shoving cards down her bra. Setsuna: ahem...uhh.you have to take them out using only your teeth! Muhahahahahaah! Mina: I didn't know that was allowed!
Mina grabs Mamoru and goes into a dark corner squealing in joy. Link: For the last time it is not allowed! Everyone get back to your post! Bakura: This is just getting weird, I'm leaving! Setsuna: No you don't!
Setsuna grabs Bakura by the millenium ring and starts beating on it. Setsuna: Turn evil..turn hot..get big and sexy! Dark Link: Sexy mama! Bakura: (screams like a girl) get me out! (finally turns evil) (you know the rest) Mina: I didn't know that was allowed! Link: Stop saying that and for the last time it is NOT allowed! Mina: Oh shut up! (grabs Mamoru and goes back to her dark corner.)
Legolas is at Hotaru's post. Hotaru is whispering in his freakishly large elf ear. Legolas turns around and goes up to Link and starts crying. Link: Whats wrong Leg-less? Legolas: Hotaru says she is going to do obscene things with my elfhood. She wants to know the elvish tongue. Link: Well...I tought her the hylien tongue and more.. MUHAHAHA!
Bakura suddenly turns good again. Bakura from dark corner: Help me! Run Legolas run! Get out while you still can! Hotaru (pulls out her glaive): Shut up! Don't make me use this! I'll destroy the world I swear! I'll have to do it sooner or later! Bakura: LATER! LATER! LATER! Evil Bakura: Shut up! I'm taking over now! Bakura: No! give me 5 minutes! Evil Bakura: I'll give you 10 minuets with that green haired babe. Bakura: Woo Hoo!
Bakura runs into the dark corner with Setsuna. Mina (comes out of different dark corner): Can I use the bathroom? Link (point in the direction of the bathroom): It's over there.
Mina walks to the bathroom. Hotaru: Get down from the chandelier! It's unsafe! Legolas (from very high chandelier that magically appered out of nowhere) I don't wanna! I don't wanna! Hotaru: Oh fine you big baby!
Hotaru walks away and sneeks up on Link. Link: Now lets..ahhhh! Sorry folks, I'm ok.
There is a massive sigh from the audience. Dark Link: That looked like it hurt. Link: Duh! Why do you think I went ahhh. Dark Link: Well I figured. Link: Well don't figure!
Dark Link shyly nods and starts to cry. Lnik: Hotaru what are you doing? Hotaru: Well since Leggy wouldn't dome down I got lonely..( Mina (comes out of the bathroom): Can I have some Coffee? Mamoru: but you just went to the bathroom and if you have coffee you're going to have to go again. Mina: Oh ok. (goes to dark corner with Mamoru) Yami (gets jealous of Mamoru): Mina how could you? Mina: easy I just forgot about you. (grabs Yami and goes to dark corner with Mamoru)
Yami screams in joy.
Screams of joy come from both dark corners.
Kaiba comes out of his dark corner, looks around and goes back in.
Legolas fearing heights jumps down from the chandelier in one fiery mass. He screams in pain as all his clothes are burned off. Hotaru feeling lonely again goes up to Legolas. Hotaru continues to whisper in his ear and being the whimp he is starts to cry again. Hotaru: It' ok.
And drags him to yet another dark corner. Dark Link: Where the hell are all these dark corners coming from? Link: I don't know but there is a lot of steam coming from them.
Yami gets pushed out of Mina's dark corner. Mina: That's the last time you turn to dust on me again! Go home and never come back! Yami: Well fine then (whispers call me)
(mina whispers no) O.V. (one of the story writers): Sorry all you Yami fans out there but he is really old according to the manga's because it says he is an egyptian pharoah. Chibineko: Damn you can talk a lot! First of all we have never read the mangas and second of all how does saying he's an egyptian pharoah mean he's old? I just don't get you! Zoragirl (another story writer): Quiet people, lets get on with the story already! O.V. and Chibineko: Fine -_- Link: All I wanted was my own show and instead I got all these crazy people. Dark Link: I told you it wasn't a good idea. Link: Shut up! And the worst part is I'm stuck with a psycopath like you! ( Dark Link: Well you know you are just stuck with me till I decide it is too boring to stick around. Link: (Cries loudly) Dark Link: Hey didn't you already announce all the players? Link: Hick..yes...hick Dark Link: Well doesn't that mean we can start the show? Link:..Hey your right! (for once) ( Dark Link: No duh! Link: Cool! Dark Link: This is more like Jerry Springer than the Weakest Link.
(Yaten comes out screaming) Yaten: Hey you forgot me!
(Suddenly Chibineko pops out of nowhere) Chibineko: I want some car-mel! Zoragirl: No it's car-a-mel, not car-mel! O.V.: No it's car-mel, not car-a-mel!
(Zoragirl and O.V. start hitting each other with sock-em-boppers) Chibineko: All I wanted was some car-mel. Zoragirl: (screams) it's car-a-mel not car-mel! Ouchie! You'll pay for that! O.V.: Let's stop fighting over the delicious delectible golden-brown sugary substance that is to start with a C.
(Zoragirl puts boppers behind her back and goes up to O.V.) Zoragirl: WHAM! That's for pulling my hair! All three story writers: On with the show! Link: Thank the Triforce!
(Zelda comes out of nowhere) How dare you use the Triforces name in vain! Link: Screw the Triforce! Zelda: Much better! (Then disappears slowely but comes back) Wait! Not like that! Link: Then thank God?
(Hotaru comes out waving her fist at Link) Dark Link: Just thank idiot! Link: Then just thank. Hotaru and Zelda: That's more like it! Hotaru: What are you doing here ZELDA? Zelda: I was just leaving (just then she disappears)
(Hotaru kisses Link by surprise then goes back to her dark corner with Legolas) Link: What is she doing in there anyway?
(Link grabs a spotlight and shines it on Hotaru's dark corner) Hotary: AHHHHH!!!!!!! (Hotaru tries to cover up her clothed body) What are you doing Link? Do you want a biscut? (offers a plate)
(Hotaru and Legolas are sitting at a table drinking tea and eating biscuts)
Link noticing that Legolas only has a blanket on gets suspicious. Link: Come here young lady. (and grabs her by the ear)
Hotaru gets pissed off and pulls out her glaive. She hits Link on the head and runs back to her dark corner. You can see clothes flying out along with biscuts and steaming hot cups of tea. The tea hits Dark Link in the face. Dark Link: MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!! (and runs to the bathroom)
Link yet again shines the light on Hotaru's dark corner. Hotaru this time really does try to cover up her body. Hotaru gets really mad and forms a silent wall between her and Link. The wall is not see through. Link: Well since I can't do any more meddling there let's introduce Yaten!
Yaten comes out with his arms crossed and looking very angry. Yaten: It's about time you called me! I was stuck backstage with Pegasus!
Yaten goes to his post and starts eating biscuts off the floor. All of a sudden the Crocodile Hunter comes out. Yaten, noticing that it was actually Pegasus, starts to cower. Pegasus: Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of The Prowler. Today we see Yaten carelessly eating a biscut. (Pegasus winks and growls lovingly at Yaten. Yaten cowers even more.) and we see Mina in a skin tight leapord suit coming ever closer to Yaten. (Pegasus glances at Mina in a disgusted way and then turns back to Yaten) (Mina comes out in a white skin tight leapord suit with black spots crawling on the ground. She keeps staring at Yaten as she crawls.) And all of a sudden the the beast leaps a full 20 feet in the air on the unsuspecting Yaten. Ain't she a beauty? She starts to rip and shred Yatens outer clothing exposing his soft, pale, fleshy insides. Mina starts to drag the helpless Yaten back to her lair where she has hidden other food like Mamoru. Yaten (trying to get Mina off): Wait! I'm still a girl! Mina Oh well then change silly!
(Yaten changes and Pegasus really gets excited.) Yaten: I have a girlfriend fucko! Go bother Link or something! (runs to dark corner with Mina) Zoragirl: if this is getting confusing we'll let you know where everyone is. O.V.: Mina, Yaten, and Mamoru are in one dark corner. Chibineko: Setsuna, Kaiba and Bakura are in another dark corner. Dark Link is in the bathroom. Pegasus and Link are at the host stand. Zoragirl: Hotaru and Legolas are in yet another dark corner. Yami is sulking back stage with Serena. All three: On with the show! Link: Thank the.just thank.
Everyone in the audience sighs as they don't have to go through that argument again.
(Hotaru makes the silent wall disappere and pops out.) Hotaru: What kind of audiance would watch this show anyway? Link: Perverts, gays, lesbians, ex-con, hoars, hookers. People like that. Hotaru: Oh.you know ,we haven't gotten to the game show at all. We should really do that. Link: Yeah I know but everyone is off doing there own thing. I just barly mentioned all the players that are going to be playing. I didn't even mention the prize money yet. Everyone from a dark corner: PRIZE MONEY!!!!!!
(Everyone that was in a dark corner rushes out to his or her post covered in biscut crumbs, tea stains, and slober. Everyones hair is messed up, make-up smeared, clothes ripped off (even though everyone is putting on some new clothes so they are not nude) and the guys are covered in coral blue #9 lipstick and covered in black-n-blue bruises.) Mina: Where's my prize money?! Setsuna: I want to go to Hawaii Triforce boy so get on with the damn questions already!!! Link: Hold your horses you green haired witch with a capital B! We still need Dark Link with us. Where is that loser? Hotaru: I think he's still in the bathroom. Pegasus: Let me check and see if he's alright.. (Pegasus walks slowely to the door in a crafty sort of way, then spints towards the bathroom. Because there was nothing else to do everyone follows Pegasus into the boys bathroom. Even the girls.) Pegasus: Link! Link! Where are you? Link: It's DARK Link not LINK! There is a difference you know! Pegasus: Whatever! (Pegasus flips his hair and starts chugging on a wine bottle that came out of nowhere. Or did it?) Chibineko: Hey can I ask a question? Zoragirl: Ummm..you just did. Chibineko: No! Not like that. I want to know why Pegasus never gets drunk off wine? Zoragirl: Well umm.since there might be little kids reading this, he's drinking grape juice! ( O.V.: Who cares if little kids are reading this! We already added the bad stuff! Pegasus answer the damn question! Pegasus: (giggle) Whos says I'm not drunk? (chug) Chibineko: That explains a lot... Zoragirl: He's scaring me. O.V.: Yep he's very scary. Chibineko: AHHHHHHHHH! (runs away) O.V.: Right... Both: On with the show!
(Yaten cowers in fear of Pegasus in the corner while Mina Setsuna and Hotaru admire the "sinks") Setsuna: These are so cool! Mina: How do you work the sink? Hotaru: I think you press this button.
(All the boys stare at the girls in disbelief and then continue on their way.) Link: (very pissed off) Lets get this show on the road people! Everyone: Awwwwww
Suddenly a yellow brick road appears out of nowhere. Setsuna suddenly gets pig tails. Chibineko:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......(breath)NOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! !! (goes off set and starts crying)
Setsuna is now Dorthy. Hotaru: Hey! I get a giant lollipop! And I'm shrinking! Shrinking? No I'm a munchkin! Mina: Hey I took off the leopard suit so why do I still have a tail? (she is the cowardly lion) Everyone in the bathroom: (singing) Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road! Follow! Follow! Follow! Follow! Follow the yellow brick road!
Every one skips out of the bathroom following the bricks of yellow except Dark Link and Pegasus. Dark Link: HELP! HELP! My tunic is cuaght in the door! Stay back psycopath! Pegasus: (giggle) Why? (inches ever closer) I'm not going to hurt you.. much. Dark Link: (starts banging on the door and screaming) HELP! HELP! I'M TRAPPED WITH PEGASUS! (starts to rip off the part of the tunic that was caught but failed) Pegasus: (is right on top of Dark Link) Come here big boy! Dark Link: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
And we turn the camera away. Link: Anyway I bet we all feel sorry for the loss of Dark Link.
Everyone starts laughing, even Pegasus. Link: Anyway lets start the Weakest Link!
DUN DUN DUN! Chibineko: is.is it over? O.V.: Yes Setsuna's back to the way she was and so is everyone else. Chibineko/Zoragirl: (sigh) Thank gosh or goodness. O.V.: Whatever! All: On with the show!
Yami comes out of nowhere looking at Mina with a puppy dog face that really looks more like a demented bulldog than a cute little puppy. Yami: You didn't call me! Mina: No I didn't And I don't intend to either you dust turning into freak!
Yami feeling very hurt turns around and see's Pegasus. Pegasus gets excited in the pants. It is very visible. Yami feeling love at first sight say's. Yami: Is that the millenium rod in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Pegasus: A little of both but mainly the second one.
Suddenly Malik comes out, grabs his millenium rod and disappears. O.V.: Sorry all you Pegasus and Yami lovers but we saw this really evil pic of Yami and Bakura so now we hate him. Poor Bakura was being taken advantage of. Chibineko: NOOOOOO!! My Bakura! Zoragirl: We feel your pain. Chibineko: My Bakura lost his virginity! O.V.: We know! We accidently walked in on you two remember? Chibineko: Oh yeah. All 3: On with the show!
Yami and Pegasus start slowely walking towards Mamoru and Bakura while they watch in horror as they come closer and closer. Evil Bakura: Oh I might be evil but I'm not as evil as they are! HELP!!!
Suddenly Setsuna and Mina come out in there sailor uniforms armed to battle! Venus and Pluto: You touch our guys and we KILL!!!!!!!
Then Pluto, Venus, and the 2 perverts start duking it out. Venus and Pluto badly injure the 2 but don't have the heart to kill them (yet) even though Venus is pounding Yami into a pulp. Link: Anywhooo.let's just get on with the sho.(pounce)
Hotaru just jumped on Link. Link: Hotaru not now! Hotaru: PLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSEEE????????? Link: We'll do that later just let go ok? Hotaru: You promise? Link: Yes Hotaru: Yes we can? Link: No! Hotaru: No you don't promise? Link: Hotaru just go to your post we'll do it later, END OF STORY!!! Chibineko: Really? It's the end already? O.V.:Wow that was quick! We didn't even get the game started. Zoragirl: You people are so stupid! No it's not the end of the story so just sit down. I have enough of a headache as it is. Chibineko and O.V. wonder how they can make Zoragirl's headache worse. ( Hotaru: Ok...
The detransformed Mina and Setsuna, done with beating up Pegasus and Yami, sit down at there post and give each other a high five.
Link: Well, ok let's get started! Hey where are all my notecards? They had all the questions on them! Dark Link: HAHAHA! I may have been nice so far but I'm still evil. (has note cards in hands) Yami: (whispers to Pegasus) Oh yeah. Really evil. Pegasus: (giggle) Link: ummm.Well since I don't want to go near them i'll just make up the questions.
The lights dim and the music plays. DUN DUN DUN!!!
Mina taking advantage of the darkness makes out with Mamoru and walks back to her dark corner. Yaten: Hey you forgot me again! Mina: Oh yeah. Come here if you want to.
Yaten runs to the drk corner Link: Hey stop that!
Hotaru runs and jumpes on Link again. Hands come come out and grab Setsuna in the dark and it's Kaiba. Dark Link: (gets out a bunch of spotlights and shines them on the dark corners. How he got them is yet another mystery of the Wacky Adventures of Psyco Setsuna, I mean the Weakest link, I mean the story, I mean this thing, I mean.I'll just shut up.) Come on people lets start this show already! Mina: Hey we are in the middle of something here! Hotaru: Yeah! Setsuna: Buzz off Dark Link! Dark Link: NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mina Setsuna and Hotaru: Fine you big cry baby.
All the characters come out of there dark corners fully clothed and go to their posts. Link: Ok! The first question is for Mina! Who is the stupidest person in the entire world?
Every one raises their hand even though they can't answer the question. Link: This persons name does not start with S. Mina: Oh I know! Usagi! Link: Correct! Everyone: Yay! Link: We'll be right back. Now with a word from out sponser! Sponser: Skittles, taste the rainbow! Serena: Hey! I can't see them! Where are they? (looks up at clouds. Clouds start pouring down Skittles) WHAM!!OW OW OW OW OW!
Setsuna and Mina are up in the clouds throwing Skittles at Serena. Setsuan and Mina: (chanting) one for serena, one for us. One for serena one for us. Link: Now were back to the Weakest Link! That was a strange and disturbing commercial!
Mina, Setsuna and Serena are back at their post and Mina is still flicking Skittles at Serena. Serena cowers in fear of Mina's Skittles. Mina: Can you taste the rainbow? How 'bout now?! Taste that damn rainbow! Serena: I can't taste it. Mina: I said taste it! Link: Well we aren't going to have any more commercials. Sponser: and now with a word from us. Have you been feeling depressed lately? Try our new mood changing pill! It will set you right. Mina: (winks) It works!
You see O.V. on the street corner in an overcoat. A mom and child walk by. O.V.: psst. Hey psst! You want some mood changing pills?
The mom and child give a skeptical look. Zoragirl: I WANT SOME!! (shoves mom and child away) GIVE ME!!! Chibineko: Hey I want some too.
O.V. is getting squashed between Chibineko and Zoragirl. He shoves them off and says O.V.: Not before me!!
The 3 writers happily enjoy their mood changing pills. Link: Like I said, no more commercials.
Mina is flicking mood changing pills at Serena. Setsuna and Hotaru join in. Sponser: Now with another word from (WHAM!!!!!) Link: I said no more commercials (shoves uncoscious sponser off the stage) Now the next question is for Mamoru! If you get this right ..we'll ... ummmm.just answer the question. Mamoru: Ok Link: Now how many feet do ducks have? Mamoru: Uhmmm..(mina whispers the answer) 2? Link: WRONG!!! Mina no helping Mamoru!!! Mina: You are so picky! I just want the prize money. Oh and I love Mamoru. That too. Link: Uhhgg! Never mind next question! Setsuna wha.hey where did she go? We don't have Kaiba either!
Suddenly everyone starts to hear these weird sounds. Bakura: I'll go find them! Link: Ok but hurry.
5 hours later. Mina: I'm bored. Aren't we supposed to be playing a game here or something? Link: Ok that's it. Hotaru prepare for a search party. Hotaru: Right!
Everybody goes into groups of 2. (bad idea) Mina: I'm sorry Yaten but Mamoru needs me! I'm sure you'll find a good partner. Yaten: but..but..but Mina: Sorry
Suddenly out of the shadows pops Pegasus. Pegasus: I got my partner!! (strangles Yaten to the floor) Yaten: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Pegasus: (
Hotaru instantly grabs Link. Hotaru: (
Dark Link pairs up with Serena in hopes that he could kill her in under an hour. Yami looking for a partner spots Legolas. Yami: (evil thought) Hey Legolas! You want to be my partner? Legolas: noooo..not really.
Legolas starts to cower as Yami comes closer. Legolas: ..gulp...help! Yaten: Ok that's it! STAR HEALER MAKE-UP! (Yaten transformed into Sailor Star Healer) See! Now I am a girl! Can't touch this! DOO DOO DOO DOO!
Legolas takes out his bow. Legolas: Get back psycopath! I'm armed!
Legolas and Yaten paired up. It's better than Pegasus or Yami. Pegasus and Yami, looking crestfallen, pair up with each other. Hotaru: See? Everyone got what they wanted.
All the teams went outside the studio except Yami and Pegasus. They went somwhere and no one cared. But the teams split up in search of the lost Setsuna and Kaiba. Oh and Bakura. Him too. Mina, Mamoru, Link and Hotaru (that rymes) spot and 18-wheeler semi-truck. Mina: All right! Everybody inside! Mamoru: Woo hoo! Road trip! Link: 4 wheel drive baby!
Mina gets in the drivers seat and starts the truck. Don't ask how she did it. Hotaru: Uhmm.Mina, do you know how to drive? Mina: No.
They start driving on an old country road very crookedly and running over such things as bushes, furry animals (dead or alive), pavement and old ladies. Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: Hotaru shut up! Where are we going anyway? Mamoru: I don't know. Mina where are we going? Mina: I don't know.
THUMP BOOM BOOM THUMP Link: What was that? Hotaru: Probably another old lady. Mina: I don't know. Let me check (Mina backs up) THUMP BOOM BOOM THUMP (Mina looks over the dash board to see a trampled Serena on the road) Oh is that all! ( Mina drives over Serena again) THUMP BOOM BOOM THUMP ( Mina backes up and drives over Serena again and again and again making a sort of hypnotic music with Serena's tumbling.) Hotaru: Keep doing it Mina! We are killing Serena and at the same time making great music.
Everybody is dancing in the car. Suddenly Link see's a very distant object. Link opens the door while the truck is still moving. Not a very good idea which this story has lot's of them. Link tumbles on the ground. He looks to the back of him to see the truck raming forward to try and squash him. Zoragirl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Don't you dare try and kill him. Link is too hot to kill. That's the only reason Link managed to save Hyrule all those times. O.V.: Fine you baka pansy. We won't kill him. (Mumbles curses and profanities at Zoragirl but she is completely oblivious to him since she is clutching her tail in fear that Link will get hurt by the truck)
Just before Link gets run over, Navi the fairy comes and saves Link. She then gets trampled while Link is untouched. Link looks down at the squashed fairy and then continues on his way to where the distant object is. That was the only time Navi the fairy will ever be useful.
(Over to where the distant object is) Setsuna: Kaiba this is checkers not chess. Kaiba: Oh well then I move my pon one spaces. I've got your queen now! Setsuna: Uhg! It's checkers not chess! Bakura: Were playing chess? I thought it was checkers. Setsuna: AHHH!! It IS checkers not chess now play the game people! Kaiba: Were playing a game? Setsuna: Yes we are playing checkers! Kaiba: Darn! I almost got your queen too. (Holds up a king of diamonds card) Setsuna: (turns to the audience) Well what did you think we were doing? It's not like we have sick minds or something. We were just playing checkers. Kaiba: Yeah! If you thought we were thinking what you thought we were thinking like your thoughts that we are thinking right now then I think you have a pretty sick mind to think of those things that you once thought that we were thinking but you were the ones who were thinking the thought that I am thinking right now. I think. (Turns around and kisses Setsuna)
Link comes up to the smooching couple. Link: Ummm.guys we need to go back to the studio. Remember the game show? Bakura: Oh right. I knew I forgot something. Ok let's go. Evil Bakura: No never! I must stay here with the one I love. Link: You love Kaiba? Evil Bakura: No I mean Setsuna. Link: Oh well she's coming too. Evil Bakura: Oh really! Well ok.
Link, Setsuna, Bakura and Kaiba (it rhymes sort of) all go to the 18- wheeler semi truck that is still trampling Serena. They all squash themselves in the truck somehow and started driving towards the studio. Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: NO NOW SHUT UP!!! Hotaru: ok.................Are we there yet?
Mina takes her hands off the wheel to try and strangle Hotaru. But Link knocks Mina off causing Mamoru to punch Link which causes him to run into Setsuna which causes Kaiba to punch Link again into Mamoru which Mina slaps Link which gets Hotaru angry and pulls Mina's hair knocking Bakura down to the floor causing Setsuna to pounce on Hotaru all with no driver at the wheel.
After the family feud. Link: hey that's a game show! Everyone: shut up Link!! Link: I almost hosted that show. Everyone: we said shut up!! Mina: hey we are a family?? Hotaru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Setsuna: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hotaru: look I know I am related to you but, Mina, come on!
Anyway. after the FRIEND feud Link: hey that's another show!! Everyone: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!
On with the trip!!! Just ignore me!!! I quiet!!!! Mina: hey we have an announcer? I didn't know that.
After the little quarrel with the announcer they went to see a movie in nearby town which they really shouldn't do that because they have a show to do. Mina: we have a show?
Everyone starts to argue again because everyone wants to see a different movie. Pegasus and Yami return out of nowhere because they can. Pegasus: lets go see Legally Blonde 2!!! Yami: yeah because she is so fruity just like you Pegasus!! Pegasus: yeah I know. (giggle) Kaiba: hey where is Dark Link?? (Pegasus whispers to Yami) Pegasus: (whispering) I forgot to unchain him. Yami: (whispers) yeah I noticed the keys around your wrist.
Keys say to Dark Link's cell at bottom of clothes pile under the sofa. Pegasus: (saying to everyone) uhmmm.. He's sleeping..uhmmmm.. tee hee. (put keys behind back) uhmmm.. we got to go now.. bye.. Pegasus and Yami vanish behind big tree like the cartoons. Everyone: anyway.. What movie should we see?
This starts yet another argument with the hair pulling, nail scratching, fist punching and leg kicking (and not the third ones) which concludes in everyone deciding to go find Nemo in the movie called Finding Nemo. (hey Nemo rhymes with Nemo) The guy from the clear eyes commercial that has the freaky voice: wow
Everyone enters the theater and spots the snack stands. Hotaru: I want some popcorn!! Link: ok everyone large, extra large or extra extra large?? Everyone: EXTRA EXTRA LARGE!!!!!!!!!!!
Mina slaps Bakura (we haven't used him in a while) Bakura turns evil and pushes Mina. Bakura: hey what was that for?? Mina: we didn't fight over the popcorn size and I felt like fighting stupid!!!
Mina gets up and pushes Bakura again and Bakura accidentally got knocked into Setsuna which makes her drop her mood changing pill which she gets angry for no apparent besides dropping her last pill, takes her anger out on Mamoru which gets Mina more angry and she punches Kaiba and Kaiba pulls Yaten's ponytail which causes him to turn into Sailor Star Healer and he or she fires a star sensitive inferno towards Hotaru but she blocks it with her glaive deflecting it towards Legolas causing all his clothes to be burned off again causing nearby fangirls to pummel him to the ground but he gets up with renewed strength of a thousand elves and he runs to the bathroom screaming like a little girl except in a manly voice (if you can imagine) and Hotaru starts to blast the fangirls one by one till they are all dead. Our heroes (or whatever they are supposed to be) almost late for the movie run into the crowded theater full of screaming babies and leaving Legolas behind in the bathroom. Setsuna: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It is so funny how they are looking for Nemo and then they find him!!! HAHAHAH!! Hotaru: Uhhhh.Setsuna. I think that's the whole point of the movie. Setsuna: Oh right.
The gang watches the movie laughing and pointing out the obvious like how there is a starfish on the side of the tank or how big the shark is or how bad Harry Potter's acting is. But soon everyone in the theater gets very annoyed at the group. Random kid: Mommy make the evil guy stop laughing at my nose. Bakura (who is evil): hey kid? Wanna see a flesh eating bug card come to life and rip your nose off?? Random kid: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Mommy make him stop!!! Kid's mom: listen to me sir you are disturbing us and we want to watch the movie in peace. We paid good money to see this movie. Evil Bakura: up yours lady! Good Bakura: now that wasn't nice! Evil Bakura: Shut up you British talking pansy from Japan!!! Good Bakura: No you shut up!!! Evil Bakura: No you shut up! Good Bakura: No you shut up!! Random kid's mom: back away very slowly and don't look it strait in the eyes.
The random kid and mom slowly back away from the arguing Bakura, then they start sprinting towards the exit. Bakura still argues with himself and soon everyone in the theater thinks he is going crazy. Mamoru notices this and stands up to the audience in the Movie Theater. Mamoru: Look people, we are actually supposed to be on a game show but we kinda stole this semi-truck and now we are going to go on a road trip. Bakura here is harmless as he is not crazy. See there is an evil yami living inside of him and it sometimes breaks out to do some evil stuff but good Bakura keeps him under control. And I think Evil Bakura kinda likes his good side don't you Evil Bakura? Evil Bakura: Are you insane or have you just been sniffing too many roses tux man? I absolutely cannot stand this British speaking toto wearing girly man pansy bitch that I am forced to put up with till I can claim all the millenium items!!! Setsuna: Shut up Bakura!! You're missing the turtles! Bakura: Oh goody!!
Well after that little fiasco the entire theater audience left leaving the psycho's to watch the movie in peace. Well as peaceful as it could possibly be if they were watching the movie alone. Even Chibineko, O.V., and Zoragirl stopped by to watch the movie but then realized that they still had this story to write and more of the sailor moon stars series to watch on video stolen from the Naoko. Did we say stolen? We meant borrowed..Yeah that will fool them...it will fool them all!!!!!! MUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. ... (maniacal laughter last for about 5 hours then slowly dies down as all the characters are staring at them.) All three storywriters: ahem. yes well on with the story
Anyway. Legolas comes back during about the middle of the movie fully clothed and followed by two random fangirls that sat in the back of the theater whispering to each other in high squeaky voices about how tight Legolas' ass is. did we say ass? We meant butt.I mean we meant his behind.awww who are we kidding, Zoragirl meant ass, Chibineko meant butt and O.V. meant nothing really because he is a guy. O.V.: darn tootin' too!! Chibineko: who says "darn tootin"? O.V.: I do so shut up!! Chibineko: Make me!!
O.V. ties Chibineko up and gags her mouth so she can't talk. But the kind hearted and wonderfully beautiful and talented and smart and all around good person (or mermaid) Zoragirl comes and rescues the cat creature from total destruction. Chibineko: Uhmmm. thanks but what do you mean "wonderfully beautiful, kind hearted and all around good person" ?? and what was that crack about "cat creature"? Zoragirl: Well you know that I am a much prettier and gorgeous and charming and elegant and wonderful and O.V.: get on with it!! Zoragirl: oh right! Sorry, I am just trying to say that I am so much more better than either of you.
Well we are going to miss Zoragirl dearly but anyway you do not want to hear about yet another argument and thrashing so we are just going to skip this part because we all know what happens to the poor unfortunate fish thing. Zoragirl? You know the mermaid? Like we said in the beginning of the fic.? Oh forget you people I'm outa here!!
( sound effects of lots of stairs being climbed then a falling man and then a bunch of cuss words that are even too violent for the oldest of people who have been in wars and then the ultimate sound of a door being opened and closed) Chibineko: Well since Zoragirl will not be joining us for quite some time for reasons unknown.(sound in the background of whips and clinking metal and Zoragirls voice screaming at the top of her lungs in pain and O.V. yelling for her to work faster).yes well anyway on with the story, and I must say we are very impressed you have actually stayed with us for this long. On with the story!
The gang happily enjoys the movie and after it is over they all go outside and loiter around in the street. Why do they loiter? Because they can and we are writing this story. If you don't like it well tough cookies. Well anyway since this fic. Still has to go on for a little while we are going to make something up to get them moving again. Mina: you know what? I just had this crazy urge to go on a road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!!!!! Hotaru: a road trip? DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: yes a road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Setsuna: well were do you want to go on this road trip? DUN DUNDUN!!! Mina: I am not sure but I was thinking of going to Hawaii for our road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Setsuna: hey wait a second. I thought we were already on a road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Hotaru: well I guess we were but now we are going on a new road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: who keeps doing that? Setsuna: I am not sure but I think if we say road trip DUN DUN DUN!!! That it will start to go DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: oh so as long as we don't say road trip DUN DUN DUN!!! It will not do it? Setsuna: exactly!
(Silence occurs for several minutes) Hotaru: uhmm.. I think we should do something.. We can't just stay silent forever. DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: who is doing that? And I thought if we didn't say road trip DUN DUN DUN!!!! It would not do it? DUN DUN DUN!!!
Everyone looks around to find the laid off announcer dude working sound effects. Announcer dude: hey I got bored and I wanted to seek revenge and I now don't care if you don't say road trip...
Nothing happens Mina: you jerk!! You do that for us but you don't even do it for yourself!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! Mina: stop that!! DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: I said stop!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! Mina: your asking for it buster!! DUN DUN DUN!! Mina: STOP IT YOU CRAZY PSYCOPATHIC NUTCASE!!! ....silence..... Mina: thank you DUN DUN DUN!!!! Mina: ARRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
Mina goes up to the crazy psychopathic nutcase announcer dude and punches him in the stomach then takes the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head, gives him a wedgie and then starts to kick him in the rear for several hours but since we are short on time we have sped this amazing process up so you can see it in all its beauty.
Anyway lets just get on with the story. Mina: ahhh. I feel much better. so where are we going? Hotaru: you said you wanted to go to Hawaii but we can't. Mina: and why ever not? Link: (just for a change of someone speaking) because Hawaii is an island and we are currently on the mainland. Mina: sooooooo... Link: so we can't drive in the ocean. Mina: elaborate you vile fiend!! Link: (sigh) ok see the ocean is water and heavy stuff like the truck we are driving sinks in water like the ocean. So therefore we would all drown and sink to an untimely death. Setsuna: did someone say time? Hotaru: no now shut up stupid baka brain!! Setsuna: AH! Hotaru is that anyway to speak to your Auntie Setsuna? Hotaru: first of all I'm not a child anymore. Ill be thirteen next year and as far as the auntie thing goes, well you really aren't my aunt. You just kinda adopted me.
Setsuna then begins to cry her little old heart out like the day when she found out Mamoru likes Serena. Or the day that the black moon family took Rini. Wait no actually those were tears of joy. never mind. Hotaru: please stop Setsuna... please... stop. now. right now. oh.fine... I still love you Auntie Mioh and I always will. mom. Setsuna: you really mean that? Hotaru: of course I do mom! Setsuna: oh daughter! Hotaru: oh mom!
They both run up to each other in slow motion through a field of flowers that just came out of nowhere (or did it) and they both have their arms open wide. They finally get to each other after several minutes of sappy music and hug each other as mother and daughter should. And Hotaru and Setsuna never fought again and they lived happily ever after in a land called Oz. Mina: it's so beautiful! I wish I had a daughter! Wait no I don't! Ok now break it up you two. We still have this story to do! Come on no more dillydallying! Hotaru: you always break up such wonderful things like this! We almost won an Oscar for that performance! Random Oscar dude is holding a little man of gold and is just about to give it to Setsuna but then turns away and gives it to Pegasus who came out of nowhere and then disappears again. But we will go ahead and get on with the story since so many people are threatening us with pitchforks and fire. So the crew drove down to California and stopped at some beach. They have lots so don't ask us which one. Well with Mina driving, they went about 200 mph (it's fiction ok?) into the ocean. Mina just kept on driving until she realized the truck was filling fast with water. She turned to face Link and glared at him. Mina: I thought you told me we could drive in the ocean! Link: no I didn't! I told you we couldn't! You didn't listen! Mina: oh sure blame the disasters on someone else why don't you?
Well since everyone was in a panic and trying to scramble out of the way of the rising water no one really cared who got them in this mess. They just kinda wanted to live. I mean wouldn't you? Setsuna: look! Up in the ocean! (I know it's cheesy but that's were it is) Hotaru: it's a bird! Mina: no it's a plane! Hotaru: no I think it's a bird! Mina: well I think it's a plane! Hotaru: bird! Mina: Plane! Hotaru: Bird! Mina: Plane! Hotaru: BIRD! Mina: PLANE! Hotaru: BIRD!! Mina: PLANE!! Setsuna: would you two shut up! It's neither! Its Bob the magical blue goldfish! Mina: well I still think it's a plane. Bakura: How come he's blue? Shouldn't he be an orangish color? Link: no because he's magical dumb ass! Bakura: oh.
Yes it was true. Bob the magical blue goldfish had come to rescue the weary travelers that were sinking into the ocean. Who is Bob the magical goldfish you ask? Well he's a magical fish that is blue and he's also a goldfish. Just some one we made up. Bear with us people. Kaiba: Bob you have come to save us all from a watery grave! Bob: bloop Kaiba: oh Bob, you always make jokes in the wrong situations. Bob: bloop
Bob with his magical blooping power, rescued the crew by forming a whirlpool that transported them to Hawaii in just a few short minutes. When they got there Bob the magical blue goldfish vanished without a trace leaving behind a trail of bubbles that led them strait to bob and signs that said his exact location. Behind the green rock under the coral kelp fields that go on for about 20 miles then make a left then another left then a right and then you're there. Setsuna: I guess we'll never see him ever again. He has left absolutely no trace of where he is so we can never find him. Link: but all you have to do is follow. Mina; no, words cannot comfort us now Link. He is gone and shall never return. Link: but it says in the script he's going to come. Hotaru: look Link! He's gone and there is no denying that we cannot ever find him. So its best if you just get on with your life and stop worrying about Bob. Link: yes but. Bakura: how many hints do we have to give you so you can shut up and stop giving away the rest of the story? Just be quiet Triforce boy! Link: . I'll be good. Mina: yay we are finally in Hawaii!. yeah. smell the fresh air. yep. oh boy. ahem.uhmm.now what?
Will our little buddies ever find out what to do on Hawaii? Will Link ever get the hints that are thrown at him? Will Pegasus and Yami ever get married? Will Serena ever come back to life and save the moon kingdom from another attack by Queen Beryl? Will squirrels ever learn to fly? Will people stop littering the earth? Will Legolas ever get the girl of his dreams? Will Hotaru finally get Link alone? Will I ever stop asking questions? Will this story ever end? Will Bob the magical blue goldfish ever find true happiness on planet earth? Will our storywriters stop torturing the readers? Will O.V. ever let Zoragirl go? Will we ever find Nemo? Will the end of the earth come and rid all the evil persons of the earth to their rightful place in the underworld? Will King Arthur ever find the Holy Grail? Will Harry Potter ever get some acting lessons? Will Aragorn ever get the elf of his dreams? Will we ever stop asking stupid questions in hope that you all could answer them? Will.(WHAM!) Chibineko: SHUT UP! You were getting annoying. Ahh. I feel relieved now. ahh.. anyway this really isn't the end. Please sit down and hold your horses. This was just a funny gag. Get it? Funny? Hahahahah? Ok we need funny lessons but please don't go away. O.V.: just stay and watch us torture Zoragirl. It great fun! Well not for Zoragirl, but for us and you the viewer! Zoragirl: help! Please help me! They keep me in a cage with no food or water! They make me work 26 hours a day! (on this planet there is 26 hours. Didn't know you were on a different planet now did ya? Muhahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and they make me eat fire! (note on the last statement about the different planet thing: you are actually on earth and not on an another planet. Any crossings or sayings of this kind are purely coincidental. Thank you for your time and money.) Are you even listening to me? Please help me! ( note on the last note that we made about the note before the last note: we did not really mean money we meant uhmm.. Cooperation.yes that's it. uhmm thank you for your time and cooperation.) oh I give up! Chibineko: quiet you! Your supposed to be working the acid mines today! Not get back to work! Zoragirl: yes master. O.V.: anyway on with the story!
Mina and the rest set off to go find a hotel. It was beginning to get dark. Suddenly Yaten spots a Holiday Inn and suites. The gang walks into the magnificent hotel, looking raggedy and tired. They reach the front desk to see a red haired woman with chops sticks sticking out of her head. Mina is amazed and just before she could grab them Hotaru knocks her hand away. Hotaru: hold on Mina. Just let me do the talking. Mina: how come you? Hotaru: because I am the most responsible. Mina: but your 12. Hotaru: I rest my case. Anyway, Hello there uhmm. (Looks at name tag) Hilda. Yes we need a room for lets see. 1.2...3.4, 5.. Uhmm 9 people. Do you have a room for nine people?
The clerk got a big grin on her face when she heard this. Clerk: why yes we can fit you in our hotel somewhere. We can either give you 3 rooms with queen beds and Jacuzzi's/ hot tubs or we can give you 2 rooms with king sized beds jacuzzi/ hot tubs, a love seat that turns into a bed and little mini bars. Hotaru: HUDDLE!!
The group got into great discussion on which package they should get. Finally Hotaru emerged from the group and went up to the clerk. Hotaru: ok so if we get the second package we get king-sized beds? Clerk: yes Hotaru: do we get access to the pool? Clerk: yes Hotaru: and mini bars? Clerk: yes Hotaru: how about access to the pool? Clerk: yes Hotaru: and the beds are king sized? Clerk: uhmm.yes Hotaru: and we do get the pool? Clerk: yes! Hotaru: and are the hot tubs filled with hot water? Clerk: yes Hotaru: are they inside? Clerk: yes Hotaru: and there is a pool? Clerk: YES THERE IS A POOL NOW WHICH PACKAGE DO YOU WANT!? Hotaru: well before I answer that I need to answer a few questions. (WHAM!!) Setsuna: we'll take it! We'll take the damn room!! Clerk: very good. Here are your keys and your rooms should be on the third floor. Thank you for choosing Holiday Inn! We hope you all die! Mina: what? Clerk: we hope you all enjoy your stay! Mina: we will! (yoink!) Ha got your chopsticks! RUN AWAY!
The gang went down the hallway screaming and yelling for joy. Why were they screaming? Because, well, lets just say it was going to be a very busy night. But the yells were disturbing other residents as well as the staff who were busy picking up the groups torn off clothes. When they got to the elevator they all crammed themselves inside and the staff threw their clothes in with them then ran away. The group that was half-naked were squished up on the side of the elevator walls. This wasn't a pretty site since the elevator was made of glass and was set near the bar area where tired residents of the Hotel met and drank like hell. Well they could all see the group in their half naked ways and were a bit disgusted yet rather amused. Yaten thought it would be fun to push all the buttons and ride the elevator for several hours before they got to bed. But it didn't matter there wasn't going to be too much sleeping anyway. Mina: Yaten you idiot! They are staring at my butt! Yaten: who? Mina: the drunken hobos down there! Yaten: well let me switch with you then.
After several minutes of moving scratching pulling and twisting, Yaten finally switched with Mina. This did not please the drunken hicks down at the bar so they left. The group finally decided to get off the elevator due to crampedness. They got off on the 3rd floor and ran down the hallways screaming like little children. They got in their rooms and turned off the lights. Hotaru, Link and Legolas jumped out the hotel window. Why? Because they wanted to see if they could land in the swimming pool below. Did they? Well Hotaru did a perfect dive and gracefully landed in the water. Link did a cannonball and splashed water everywhere and then hit the pool floor. Legolas on the other hand did not make it to the pool and crashed into the concrete below. But since he's immortal he didn't die but got a really bad headache and then fell into the pool. Hotaru: Wow! The pool's heated! Link: well.uhmmm.yes heated.
Back in the hotel rooms Mina, Mamoru and Yaten started to raid the mini bars and all the porno flicks. All Mina could find in the porno section of the movies though was just Disney movies. Yaten was happy just watching his naked girlfriend search for porno flicks with her butt in the air and eating stale macadamia nuts he found in the mini bar. Mamoru was getting impatient and decided to just lie in bed till Mina came, but oh well.
In the other room just next door were Setsuna, Kaiba and of course Bakura. Setsuna was having the best night of her life under the covers with Kaiba but Bakura just sat down in front of the TV mindlessly watching the Smurfs. Setsuna: Bakura how can you watch those evil green SOB's? Bakura: huh? Kaiba: come on! I'll let you have an hour with Setsuna if just stop watching the little green freaks! Bakura: huh?
Suddenly a little blue man jumped out of the TV. Random Smurf: you people make me sick! Setsuna: oh! And what are you going to do about little green freak! Random Smurf: uhmmm. I think we are blue not green. Setsuna: shut up! Random Smurf: make me! Setsuna: oh now you've done little freak! Bring it on!
Setsuna and the Smurf start to fight kung fu style in the middle of the room with Bakura and Kaiba just staring at them. Then Setsuna whips out her time staff and starts to blasts some deadly screams the Smurfs way. But the Smurf does a matrix and bends over backwards dodging the deadly screams. Setsuna starts to run up the wall and blast room to pieces. She the grabs the Smurf and chucks him back into the television set. After that's done Setsuna goes back under the covers this time with both men. After a couple of minutes, the Smurf returns to seek revenge upon Setsuna. But this time he has a whole army of the little blue sob's. Zoragirl: I just like typing sob! It's fun!
A great battle soon ensues. Since there are so many Smurfs (for reasons unknown) the entire sailor army comes with all of the scouts for those of you who don't like us writing about four scouts and killing one. So Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus, Pluto, Saturn and Venus all come to destroy the blue menace. We hate Mini Moon too so she's not here and Moon is dead. Chibineko: Yay! O.V.: shut up! Chibineko: I'll be good.
So now that we have all the scouts here you can't flame us for not putting them all in the story!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! Take that you stupid sailor moon fans! You can't do anything now!! Hahahaha! Feel the power that I posses! Hahaha! (whack) Zoragirl: shut up mister announcer dude! Were sailor moon fans! And we can take away all that power we gave you so just shut up! Chibineko: that's right you little SOB!!! O.V.: hahahahah!!! Feel our power now!!! Announcer: I'll be good. (Sorry all you announcer fans [though we doubt that are any] but he was just really asking for it) All the sailor senshi use their cool powers to destroy the little SOB's. (Zoragirl: I really like typing that!) Mars does her wicked cool Flame Sniper attack along with Mercury's Aqua Rhapsody. Uranus uses her Space Sword Blaster with Neptune's Deep Submerge attack. Venus does a Venus Love and Beauty Shock attack and Pluto does some more deadly screams. Since Saturn has very limited attacks in the TV series we'll just do some of her attacks we see in the mangas. So Saturn does a Silence Glaive Surprise attack. Oh and we almost forgot Jupiter. She can do her Jupiter Oak Evolution attack or my personal favorite from the manga, Jupiter's Coconut Cyclone. Man we know all there attacks don't we? Zoragirl: our lives are meaningless and we just waist them by memorizing the sailor scouts attacks! Chibineko: we just can't stop the memorization of all the anime we have ever heard of! O.V.: please help us by donating money to People Who Don't Have Any Real Lives But Just Waist Them By Watching Anime 24/7 Until They Are The Authority On All Anime Knowledge And Start To Do Whacked Out Fanfics About There Favorite Anime And Eventually Start Making Up Their Own Anime By Living Off Their Parents And Living In The Cellar Hotline. Zoragirl: just call 915-777-888-999 and donate all the money you have. Chibineko: we need 10,000 dollars to help ourselves and begin treatment. We are a mere $9,999 away from our goal! Zoragirl: thank you for your time and money! O.V.: and this time we really do mean money! All three: on with the story!
(uhmmm. yeah I would like to donate 9,999 dollars to the cause. uhmmm.it's in my savings account. oh shit! Are we on!)? uhmmm. ahem. yes well anyway the sailor scouts beat up the annoying little SOB's and rejoiced. Then the scouts went back to Tokyo and beat up Chaos without sailor moons help. HA take that moon princess! Setsuna Hotaru and Mina then continued their night of unimaginable fun. Yippee! As the night grew on and on and on Hotaru came back up to the room with the elf men even though Link really is a Hylien. Note from Zoragirl: hey all you people out there! If you love Link as much as I do or just like to beat the crap out of your friend for no gosh darn reason then you should get the new game Soul Caliber II! It has Link for the Gamecube version and it is really cool. If you don't like Link then screw you but buy it anyway for the Gamecube version. Any Playstation or X- Box version of the game just steal a bunch of them then burn them all to hell! Thanks!
Ahem. anyway Hotaru and her boyfriends start to watch the Disney channel because it was the only station on late at night for some apparent reason. Also one reason was that the Disney channel had taken over all TV networks except Fox. No one in their right mind would own Fox! TV: and then the male approaches the female and then starts to hump her repeatedly. Hotaru: Uhmm..Mina? what is humping? Mina: what!? Have you been watching the Disney Channel again? Hotaru: yes Mina: oh that explains it. uhmm. just turn off the TV and then go to sleep you don't need to worry about mean old mister Disney anymore. Hotaru: oh ok. Setsuna: (grumbles in her sleep) must be a Link lover.
The next morning the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the gang all had hangovers. Mina: oh man I shouldn't have gone to that strip club.
Everybody decided to go ahead and order some room service. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day and they weren't about to miss a chance to get some food. Setsuna: ok what does everybody want? Hotaru: I want waffles! Mina: shut stupid Link lover! we are going to have french toast! Setsuna: no! we are going to have pancakes and mustard!(this joke is dedicated to Chibineko. We miss you!) Mina: oh leave to a plutonian to have mustard on there pancakes! Momaru: lets just have toast? All three: NO!
Mamoru cowers in fear in some distant corner. All the guys get kinda grumpy and hungry listening to three girls talk about there fate in breakfast. And you know what happens to guys when they get hungry. Right girls? Random girls from audience: oh yeah! Preach it sister!
So the guys just started fighting for no apparent reason and gave Mina, Setsuna and Hotaru a nice little show. But since this story has so much fighting in it we are going to skip the details even though they are bloody and gruesome. O.V.: BLOOD! I SMELL BLOOD!! Chibineko: shut up! O.V.: I'll be good.
So to make everyone happy they just ordered some cereal. If you want to know what cereal they got, then I suggest we have a blood war with the killing and blood and all the suffering and carnage that could make even the pits of hell spit them out and throw them into a pit of pain and MISER.(WHACK!) Zoragirl: another announcer gone bad. Chibineko: we loose more announcers that way. O.V.: bring in the spare!!
Ahem. uhmm they just got Froot Loops.
Another Author's note: this story contains the anime/video game/movie Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Legend of Zelda, and Lord of the Rings. If you are not fluent with any of these things, you will be seriously lost. Thank you.
Another Another Author's note: just to give you a bit of a background on the author's. Zoragirl is a pink mermaid with rainbow hair being from the planet Saturn. Chibineko is a cat like creature from Pluto with grey fur for her cat resemblance and blue and red neon hair for her human side. She wears a black trench coat just like Kaiba's. Can any one tell why? O.V. is a real cool dude from the planet Venus with blonde hair that is neoned orange and has a real cool out fit with a shirt with a dragon on it. He is also a Jedi (star wars). Thank you again and now we will get on with the story you have rightful deserved.
Another Another Another Author's note: we do not own anything we mention in this story. All we own is the names Chibineko, Zoragirl, O.V., and Bob the Magical Blue Goldfish. We don't need to tell you who Bob is because his name says what he is. Thanks and now we will get to the story. Thank you!
The Weakest Link Link: Hello and you are watching the Weakest Link! I am your host Link! Dark Link: and Dark Link! Link: uhh..ok, well, anyway on with the show. Let's meet our contestants. The first contestant is Mina! Come on down!
Mina comes running out waving and jumping up and down. Mina: Hi! I'm on TV! Link: Yes we all know that. Now lets bring out Mamoru!
Mamoru timidly steps out and goes to his post. Voice from audience: WHAT! I am not leaving her alone with him! I'm coming down and no one is going to stop me!
The voice was actually the voice of Setsuna. Setsuna pulls out her time staff and starts whacking people on the head to try and get down to the lower level. She finally gets there, takes a post and glares at Mina. Link: uhh. ok lets meet Setsuna! Dark Link: Hey she's kinda cute. Link: Shut up! And get out of here! Dark Link: Make me! Link: Ugh! Never mind! Ok lets bring out Hotaru! Woo Hoo!
Music starts playing (the music from Space Jam, you know the one that says you all ready for this) and Hotaru is surrounded by flower petals that magically appeared out of nowhere. Hotaru: AHHHH! I swallowed one!
Hotaru is thoroughly pissed off and madly walks to her post. Link: Give a big boo to the boo boo herself, Serena! Audience: BOO! Serena: I'm so happy! They like me, they really like me! Link: Now lets bring out Kaiba! Setsuna: Woo Hoo!!
Kaiba is standing in the entrance with his cape billowing in the air. He then starts to strut down the stairs when he trips on a flower petal, falling down the stairs and landing face first. Link: I cannot see how Super Stupid Moon missed tripping on those.
Setsuna runs up to Kaiba's side and says, "Oh its ok Kaiba, let me help you." and starts making out with him. Mina: Hey! I didn't know that was allowed!
Mina then grabs Mamoru and starts making out with him. Link: Its not allowed so break it up! Ok now lets bring out. what is this right.are your sure. do I have to.. Fine. Here's Legolas. BOO!
Legolas skips out and sees a beautiful and rare flower. Hotaru: Man where are all these flowers coming from? Legolas: oh what a beautiful flower! I think I shall.KILL STUPID FLOWER! DIE! WE HATES STUPID FLOWER!
Legolas stomps and kills the flower and then takes out his bow and starts killing butterflies. While that is happening, Bakura comes out. Bakura: Hey I wanted Chinese!
Bakura sticks his hand out in the air and a butterfly lands on it. Legolas: KILL!
Bakura screams like a girl and runs up to Setsuna. Setsuna takes the opportunity to make out with Bakura. Kaiba gets jealous and throws a little fit. Link: Now lets bring out the ancient pharaoh Yami!
Yami steps out and spies Kaiba. Yami: I challenge you to a duel! Link: This is not Duel Monsters now break it up and get back to your post! Yami: You don't push me around, I'm older than you are!
He then pokes his arm and it turns to dust. Another one automatically grows in its place. (Chibineko: That's just gross!) One of the storywriters.
Yami holds up a card and tries to throw it at Kaiba. Hotaru sensing it was the Celtic Guardian jumps up and puts it in her bra. Hotaru: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love Celtic Guardian! Mina: Hotaru give me that! It's dangerous! Hotaru: No never! Mina: Hotaru being the responsible adult I am, I will have to show you through example how dangerous it is shoving cards down your bra! Give me one of those!
Mina grabs almost have the deck and shoves it down her bra. While that is happening, Kaiba feels something moving around in his pocket. Kaiba turns around to see Setsuna shoving cards down her bra. Setsuna: ahem...uhh.you have to take them out using only your teeth! Muhahahahahaah! Mina: I didn't know that was allowed!
Mina grabs Mamoru and goes into a dark corner squealing in joy. Link: For the last time it is not allowed! Everyone get back to your post! Bakura: This is just getting weird, I'm leaving! Setsuna: No you don't!
Setsuna grabs Bakura by the millenium ring and starts beating on it. Setsuna: Turn evil..turn hot..get big and sexy! Dark Link: Sexy mama! Bakura: (screams like a girl) get me out! (finally turns evil) (you know the rest) Mina: I didn't know that was allowed! Link: Stop saying that and for the last time it is NOT allowed! Mina: Oh shut up! (grabs Mamoru and goes back to her dark corner.)
Legolas is at Hotaru's post. Hotaru is whispering in his freakishly large elf ear. Legolas turns around and goes up to Link and starts crying. Link: Whats wrong Leg-less? Legolas: Hotaru says she is going to do obscene things with my elfhood. She wants to know the elvish tongue. Link: Well...I tought her the hylien tongue and more.. MUHAHAHA!
Bakura suddenly turns good again. Bakura from dark corner: Help me! Run Legolas run! Get out while you still can! Hotaru (pulls out her glaive): Shut up! Don't make me use this! I'll destroy the world I swear! I'll have to do it sooner or later! Bakura: LATER! LATER! LATER! Evil Bakura: Shut up! I'm taking over now! Bakura: No! give me 5 minutes! Evil Bakura: I'll give you 10 minuets with that green haired babe. Bakura: Woo Hoo!
Bakura runs into the dark corner with Setsuna. Mina (comes out of different dark corner): Can I use the bathroom? Link (point in the direction of the bathroom): It's over there.
Mina walks to the bathroom. Hotaru: Get down from the chandelier! It's unsafe! Legolas (from very high chandelier that magically appered out of nowhere) I don't wanna! I don't wanna! Hotaru: Oh fine you big baby!
Hotaru walks away and sneeks up on Link. Link: Now lets..ahhhh! Sorry folks, I'm ok.
There is a massive sigh from the audience. Dark Link: That looked like it hurt. Link: Duh! Why do you think I went ahhh. Dark Link: Well I figured. Link: Well don't figure!
Dark Link shyly nods and starts to cry. Lnik: Hotaru what are you doing? Hotaru: Well since Leggy wouldn't dome down I got lonely..( Mina (comes out of the bathroom): Can I have some Coffee? Mamoru: but you just went to the bathroom and if you have coffee you're going to have to go again. Mina: Oh ok. (goes to dark corner with Mamoru) Yami (gets jealous of Mamoru): Mina how could you? Mina: easy I just forgot about you. (grabs Yami and goes to dark corner with Mamoru)
Yami screams in joy.
Screams of joy come from both dark corners.
Kaiba comes out of his dark corner, looks around and goes back in.
Legolas fearing heights jumps down from the chandelier in one fiery mass. He screams in pain as all his clothes are burned off. Hotaru feeling lonely again goes up to Legolas. Hotaru continues to whisper in his ear and being the whimp he is starts to cry again. Hotaru: It' ok.
And drags him to yet another dark corner. Dark Link: Where the hell are all these dark corners coming from? Link: I don't know but there is a lot of steam coming from them.
Yami gets pushed out of Mina's dark corner. Mina: That's the last time you turn to dust on me again! Go home and never come back! Yami: Well fine then (whispers call me)
(mina whispers no) O.V. (one of the story writers): Sorry all you Yami fans out there but he is really old according to the manga's because it says he is an egyptian pharoah. Chibineko: Damn you can talk a lot! First of all we have never read the mangas and second of all how does saying he's an egyptian pharoah mean he's old? I just don't get you! Zoragirl (another story writer): Quiet people, lets get on with the story already! O.V. and Chibineko: Fine -_- Link: All I wanted was my own show and instead I got all these crazy people. Dark Link: I told you it wasn't a good idea. Link: Shut up! And the worst part is I'm stuck with a psycopath like you! ( Dark Link: Well you know you are just stuck with me till I decide it is too boring to stick around. Link: (Cries loudly) Dark Link: Hey didn't you already announce all the players? Link: Hick..yes...hick Dark Link: Well doesn't that mean we can start the show? Link:..Hey your right! (for once) ( Dark Link: No duh! Link: Cool! Dark Link: This is more like Jerry Springer than the Weakest Link.
(Yaten comes out screaming) Yaten: Hey you forgot me!
(Suddenly Chibineko pops out of nowhere) Chibineko: I want some car-mel! Zoragirl: No it's car-a-mel, not car-mel! O.V.: No it's car-mel, not car-a-mel!
(Zoragirl and O.V. start hitting each other with sock-em-boppers) Chibineko: All I wanted was some car-mel. Zoragirl: (screams) it's car-a-mel not car-mel! Ouchie! You'll pay for that! O.V.: Let's stop fighting over the delicious delectible golden-brown sugary substance that is to start with a C.
(Zoragirl puts boppers behind her back and goes up to O.V.) Zoragirl: WHAM! That's for pulling my hair! All three story writers: On with the show! Link: Thank the Triforce!
(Zelda comes out of nowhere) How dare you use the Triforces name in vain! Link: Screw the Triforce! Zelda: Much better! (Then disappears slowely but comes back) Wait! Not like that! Link: Then thank God?
(Hotaru comes out waving her fist at Link) Dark Link: Just thank idiot! Link: Then just thank. Hotaru and Zelda: That's more like it! Hotaru: What are you doing here ZELDA? Zelda: I was just leaving (just then she disappears)
(Hotaru kisses Link by surprise then goes back to her dark corner with Legolas) Link: What is she doing in there anyway?
(Link grabs a spotlight and shines it on Hotaru's dark corner) Hotary: AHHHHH!!!!!!! (Hotaru tries to cover up her clothed body) What are you doing Link? Do you want a biscut? (offers a plate)
(Hotaru and Legolas are sitting at a table drinking tea and eating biscuts)
Link noticing that Legolas only has a blanket on gets suspicious. Link: Come here young lady. (and grabs her by the ear)
Hotaru gets pissed off and pulls out her glaive. She hits Link on the head and runs back to her dark corner. You can see clothes flying out along with biscuts and steaming hot cups of tea. The tea hits Dark Link in the face. Dark Link: MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!! (and runs to the bathroom)
Link yet again shines the light on Hotaru's dark corner. Hotaru this time really does try to cover up her body. Hotaru gets really mad and forms a silent wall between her and Link. The wall is not see through. Link: Well since I can't do any more meddling there let's introduce Yaten!
Yaten comes out with his arms crossed and looking very angry. Yaten: It's about time you called me! I was stuck backstage with Pegasus!
Yaten goes to his post and starts eating biscuts off the floor. All of a sudden the Crocodile Hunter comes out. Yaten, noticing that it was actually Pegasus, starts to cower. Pegasus: Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of The Prowler. Today we see Yaten carelessly eating a biscut. (Pegasus winks and growls lovingly at Yaten. Yaten cowers even more.) and we see Mina in a skin tight leapord suit coming ever closer to Yaten. (Pegasus glances at Mina in a disgusted way and then turns back to Yaten) (Mina comes out in a white skin tight leapord suit with black spots crawling on the ground. She keeps staring at Yaten as she crawls.) And all of a sudden the the beast leaps a full 20 feet in the air on the unsuspecting Yaten. Ain't she a beauty? She starts to rip and shred Yatens outer clothing exposing his soft, pale, fleshy insides. Mina starts to drag the helpless Yaten back to her lair where she has hidden other food like Mamoru. Yaten (trying to get Mina off): Wait! I'm still a girl! Mina Oh well then change silly!
(Yaten changes and Pegasus really gets excited.) Yaten: I have a girlfriend fucko! Go bother Link or something! (runs to dark corner with Mina) Zoragirl: if this is getting confusing we'll let you know where everyone is. O.V.: Mina, Yaten, and Mamoru are in one dark corner. Chibineko: Setsuna, Kaiba and Bakura are in another dark corner. Dark Link is in the bathroom. Pegasus and Link are at the host stand. Zoragirl: Hotaru and Legolas are in yet another dark corner. Yami is sulking back stage with Serena. All three: On with the show! Link: Thank the.just thank.
Everyone in the audience sighs as they don't have to go through that argument again.
(Hotaru makes the silent wall disappere and pops out.) Hotaru: What kind of audiance would watch this show anyway? Link: Perverts, gays, lesbians, ex-con, hoars, hookers. People like that. Hotaru: Oh.you know ,we haven't gotten to the game show at all. We should really do that. Link: Yeah I know but everyone is off doing there own thing. I just barly mentioned all the players that are going to be playing. I didn't even mention the prize money yet. Everyone from a dark corner: PRIZE MONEY!!!!!!
(Everyone that was in a dark corner rushes out to his or her post covered in biscut crumbs, tea stains, and slober. Everyones hair is messed up, make-up smeared, clothes ripped off (even though everyone is putting on some new clothes so they are not nude) and the guys are covered in coral blue #9 lipstick and covered in black-n-blue bruises.) Mina: Where's my prize money?! Setsuna: I want to go to Hawaii Triforce boy so get on with the damn questions already!!! Link: Hold your horses you green haired witch with a capital B! We still need Dark Link with us. Where is that loser? Hotaru: I think he's still in the bathroom. Pegasus: Let me check and see if he's alright.. (Pegasus walks slowely to the door in a crafty sort of way, then spints towards the bathroom. Because there was nothing else to do everyone follows Pegasus into the boys bathroom. Even the girls.) Pegasus: Link! Link! Where are you? Link: It's DARK Link not LINK! There is a difference you know! Pegasus: Whatever! (Pegasus flips his hair and starts chugging on a wine bottle that came out of nowhere. Or did it?) Chibineko: Hey can I ask a question? Zoragirl: Ummm..you just did. Chibineko: No! Not like that. I want to know why Pegasus never gets drunk off wine? Zoragirl: Well umm.since there might be little kids reading this, he's drinking grape juice! ( O.V.: Who cares if little kids are reading this! We already added the bad stuff! Pegasus answer the damn question! Pegasus: (giggle) Whos says I'm not drunk? (chug) Chibineko: That explains a lot... Zoragirl: He's scaring me. O.V.: Yep he's very scary. Chibineko: AHHHHHHHHH! (runs away) O.V.: Right... Both: On with the show!
(Yaten cowers in fear of Pegasus in the corner while Mina Setsuna and Hotaru admire the "sinks") Setsuna: These are so cool! Mina: How do you work the sink? Hotaru: I think you press this button.
(All the boys stare at the girls in disbelief and then continue on their way.) Link: (very pissed off) Lets get this show on the road people! Everyone: Awwwwww
Suddenly a yellow brick road appears out of nowhere. Setsuna suddenly gets pig tails. Chibineko:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......(breath)NOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! !! (goes off set and starts crying)
Setsuna is now Dorthy. Hotaru: Hey! I get a giant lollipop! And I'm shrinking! Shrinking? No I'm a munchkin! Mina: Hey I took off the leopard suit so why do I still have a tail? (she is the cowardly lion) Everyone in the bathroom: (singing) Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road! Follow! Follow! Follow! Follow! Follow the yellow brick road!
Every one skips out of the bathroom following the bricks of yellow except Dark Link and Pegasus. Dark Link: HELP! HELP! My tunic is cuaght in the door! Stay back psycopath! Pegasus: (giggle) Why? (inches ever closer) I'm not going to hurt you.. much. Dark Link: (starts banging on the door and screaming) HELP! HELP! I'M TRAPPED WITH PEGASUS! (starts to rip off the part of the tunic that was caught but failed) Pegasus: (is right on top of Dark Link) Come here big boy! Dark Link: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
And we turn the camera away. Link: Anyway I bet we all feel sorry for the loss of Dark Link.
Everyone starts laughing, even Pegasus. Link: Anyway lets start the Weakest Link!
DUN DUN DUN! Chibineko: is.is it over? O.V.: Yes Setsuna's back to the way she was and so is everyone else. Chibineko/Zoragirl: (sigh) Thank gosh or goodness. O.V.: Whatever! All: On with the show!
Yami comes out of nowhere looking at Mina with a puppy dog face that really looks more like a demented bulldog than a cute little puppy. Yami: You didn't call me! Mina: No I didn't And I don't intend to either you dust turning into freak!
Yami feeling very hurt turns around and see's Pegasus. Pegasus gets excited in the pants. It is very visible. Yami feeling love at first sight say's. Yami: Is that the millenium rod in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Pegasus: A little of both but mainly the second one.
Suddenly Malik comes out, grabs his millenium rod and disappears. O.V.: Sorry all you Pegasus and Yami lovers but we saw this really evil pic of Yami and Bakura so now we hate him. Poor Bakura was being taken advantage of. Chibineko: NOOOOOO!! My Bakura! Zoragirl: We feel your pain. Chibineko: My Bakura lost his virginity! O.V.: We know! We accidently walked in on you two remember? Chibineko: Oh yeah. All 3: On with the show!
Yami and Pegasus start slowely walking towards Mamoru and Bakura while they watch in horror as they come closer and closer. Evil Bakura: Oh I might be evil but I'm not as evil as they are! HELP!!!
Suddenly Setsuna and Mina come out in there sailor uniforms armed to battle! Venus and Pluto: You touch our guys and we KILL!!!!!!!
Then Pluto, Venus, and the 2 perverts start duking it out. Venus and Pluto badly injure the 2 but don't have the heart to kill them (yet) even though Venus is pounding Yami into a pulp. Link: Anywhooo.let's just get on with the sho.(pounce)
Hotaru just jumped on Link. Link: Hotaru not now! Hotaru: PLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSEEE????????? Link: We'll do that later just let go ok? Hotaru: You promise? Link: Yes Hotaru: Yes we can? Link: No! Hotaru: No you don't promise? Link: Hotaru just go to your post we'll do it later, END OF STORY!!! Chibineko: Really? It's the end already? O.V.:Wow that was quick! We didn't even get the game started. Zoragirl: You people are so stupid! No it's not the end of the story so just sit down. I have enough of a headache as it is. Chibineko and O.V. wonder how they can make Zoragirl's headache worse. ( Hotaru: Ok...
The detransformed Mina and Setsuna, done with beating up Pegasus and Yami, sit down at there post and give each other a high five.
Link: Well, ok let's get started! Hey where are all my notecards? They had all the questions on them! Dark Link: HAHAHA! I may have been nice so far but I'm still evil. (has note cards in hands) Yami: (whispers to Pegasus) Oh yeah. Really evil. Pegasus: (giggle) Link: ummm.Well since I don't want to go near them i'll just make up the questions.
The lights dim and the music plays. DUN DUN DUN!!!
Mina taking advantage of the darkness makes out with Mamoru and walks back to her dark corner. Yaten: Hey you forgot me again! Mina: Oh yeah. Come here if you want to.
Yaten runs to the drk corner Link: Hey stop that!
Hotaru runs and jumpes on Link again. Hands come come out and grab Setsuna in the dark and it's Kaiba. Dark Link: (gets out a bunch of spotlights and shines them on the dark corners. How he got them is yet another mystery of the Wacky Adventures of Psyco Setsuna, I mean the Weakest link, I mean the story, I mean this thing, I mean.I'll just shut up.) Come on people lets start this show already! Mina: Hey we are in the middle of something here! Hotaru: Yeah! Setsuna: Buzz off Dark Link! Dark Link: NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mina Setsuna and Hotaru: Fine you big cry baby.
All the characters come out of there dark corners fully clothed and go to their posts. Link: Ok! The first question is for Mina! Who is the stupidest person in the entire world?
Every one raises their hand even though they can't answer the question. Link: This persons name does not start with S. Mina: Oh I know! Usagi! Link: Correct! Everyone: Yay! Link: We'll be right back. Now with a word from out sponser! Sponser: Skittles, taste the rainbow! Serena: Hey! I can't see them! Where are they? (looks up at clouds. Clouds start pouring down Skittles) WHAM!!OW OW OW OW OW!
Setsuna and Mina are up in the clouds throwing Skittles at Serena. Setsuan and Mina: (chanting) one for serena, one for us. One for serena one for us. Link: Now were back to the Weakest Link! That was a strange and disturbing commercial!
Mina, Setsuna and Serena are back at their post and Mina is still flicking Skittles at Serena. Serena cowers in fear of Mina's Skittles. Mina: Can you taste the rainbow? How 'bout now?! Taste that damn rainbow! Serena: I can't taste it. Mina: I said taste it! Link: Well we aren't going to have any more commercials. Sponser: and now with a word from us. Have you been feeling depressed lately? Try our new mood changing pill! It will set you right. Mina: (winks) It works!
You see O.V. on the street corner in an overcoat. A mom and child walk by. O.V.: psst. Hey psst! You want some mood changing pills?
The mom and child give a skeptical look. Zoragirl: I WANT SOME!! (shoves mom and child away) GIVE ME!!! Chibineko: Hey I want some too.
O.V. is getting squashed between Chibineko and Zoragirl. He shoves them off and says O.V.: Not before me!!
The 3 writers happily enjoy their mood changing pills. Link: Like I said, no more commercials.
Mina is flicking mood changing pills at Serena. Setsuna and Hotaru join in. Sponser: Now with another word from (WHAM!!!!!) Link: I said no more commercials (shoves uncoscious sponser off the stage) Now the next question is for Mamoru! If you get this right ..we'll ... ummmm.just answer the question. Mamoru: Ok Link: Now how many feet do ducks have? Mamoru: Uhmmm..(mina whispers the answer) 2? Link: WRONG!!! Mina no helping Mamoru!!! Mina: You are so picky! I just want the prize money. Oh and I love Mamoru. That too. Link: Uhhgg! Never mind next question! Setsuna wha.hey where did she go? We don't have Kaiba either!
Suddenly everyone starts to hear these weird sounds. Bakura: I'll go find them! Link: Ok but hurry.
5 hours later. Mina: I'm bored. Aren't we supposed to be playing a game here or something? Link: Ok that's it. Hotaru prepare for a search party. Hotaru: Right!
Everybody goes into groups of 2. (bad idea) Mina: I'm sorry Yaten but Mamoru needs me! I'm sure you'll find a good partner. Yaten: but..but..but Mina: Sorry
Suddenly out of the shadows pops Pegasus. Pegasus: I got my partner!! (strangles Yaten to the floor) Yaten: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Pegasus: (
Hotaru instantly grabs Link. Hotaru: (
Dark Link pairs up with Serena in hopes that he could kill her in under an hour. Yami looking for a partner spots Legolas. Yami: (evil thought) Hey Legolas! You want to be my partner? Legolas: noooo..not really.
Legolas starts to cower as Yami comes closer. Legolas: ..gulp...help! Yaten: Ok that's it! STAR HEALER MAKE-UP! (Yaten transformed into Sailor Star Healer) See! Now I am a girl! Can't touch this! DOO DOO DOO DOO!
Legolas takes out his bow. Legolas: Get back psycopath! I'm armed!
Legolas and Yaten paired up. It's better than Pegasus or Yami. Pegasus and Yami, looking crestfallen, pair up with each other. Hotaru: See? Everyone got what they wanted.
All the teams went outside the studio except Yami and Pegasus. They went somwhere and no one cared. But the teams split up in search of the lost Setsuna and Kaiba. Oh and Bakura. Him too. Mina, Mamoru, Link and Hotaru (that rymes) spot and 18-wheeler semi-truck. Mina: All right! Everybody inside! Mamoru: Woo hoo! Road trip! Link: 4 wheel drive baby!
Mina gets in the drivers seat and starts the truck. Don't ask how she did it. Hotaru: Uhmm.Mina, do you know how to drive? Mina: No.
They start driving on an old country road very crookedly and running over such things as bushes, furry animals (dead or alive), pavement and old ladies. Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: Hotaru shut up! Where are we going anyway? Mamoru: I don't know. Mina where are we going? Mina: I don't know.
THUMP BOOM BOOM THUMP Link: What was that? Hotaru: Probably another old lady. Mina: I don't know. Let me check (Mina backs up) THUMP BOOM BOOM THUMP (Mina looks over the dash board to see a trampled Serena on the road) Oh is that all! ( Mina drives over Serena again) THUMP BOOM BOOM THUMP ( Mina backes up and drives over Serena again and again and again making a sort of hypnotic music with Serena's tumbling.) Hotaru: Keep doing it Mina! We are killing Serena and at the same time making great music.
Everybody is dancing in the car. Suddenly Link see's a very distant object. Link opens the door while the truck is still moving. Not a very good idea which this story has lot's of them. Link tumbles on the ground. He looks to the back of him to see the truck raming forward to try and squash him. Zoragirl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Don't you dare try and kill him. Link is too hot to kill. That's the only reason Link managed to save Hyrule all those times. O.V.: Fine you baka pansy. We won't kill him. (Mumbles curses and profanities at Zoragirl but she is completely oblivious to him since she is clutching her tail in fear that Link will get hurt by the truck)
Just before Link gets run over, Navi the fairy comes and saves Link. She then gets trampled while Link is untouched. Link looks down at the squashed fairy and then continues on his way to where the distant object is. That was the only time Navi the fairy will ever be useful.
(Over to where the distant object is) Setsuna: Kaiba this is checkers not chess. Kaiba: Oh well then I move my pon one spaces. I've got your queen now! Setsuna: Uhg! It's checkers not chess! Bakura: Were playing chess? I thought it was checkers. Setsuna: AHHH!! It IS checkers not chess now play the game people! Kaiba: Were playing a game? Setsuna: Yes we are playing checkers! Kaiba: Darn! I almost got your queen too. (Holds up a king of diamonds card) Setsuna: (turns to the audience) Well what did you think we were doing? It's not like we have sick minds or something. We were just playing checkers. Kaiba: Yeah! If you thought we were thinking what you thought we were thinking like your thoughts that we are thinking right now then I think you have a pretty sick mind to think of those things that you once thought that we were thinking but you were the ones who were thinking the thought that I am thinking right now. I think. (Turns around and kisses Setsuna)
Link comes up to the smooching couple. Link: Ummm.guys we need to go back to the studio. Remember the game show? Bakura: Oh right. I knew I forgot something. Ok let's go. Evil Bakura: No never! I must stay here with the one I love. Link: You love Kaiba? Evil Bakura: No I mean Setsuna. Link: Oh well she's coming too. Evil Bakura: Oh really! Well ok.
Link, Setsuna, Bakura and Kaiba (it rhymes sort of) all go to the 18- wheeler semi truck that is still trampling Serena. They all squash themselves in the truck somehow and started driving towards the studio. Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: No Hotaru: Are we there yet? Mina: NO NOW SHUT UP!!! Hotaru: ok.................Are we there yet?
Mina takes her hands off the wheel to try and strangle Hotaru. But Link knocks Mina off causing Mamoru to punch Link which causes him to run into Setsuna which causes Kaiba to punch Link again into Mamoru which Mina slaps Link which gets Hotaru angry and pulls Mina's hair knocking Bakura down to the floor causing Setsuna to pounce on Hotaru all with no driver at the wheel.
After the family feud. Link: hey that's a game show! Everyone: shut up Link!! Link: I almost hosted that show. Everyone: we said shut up!! Mina: hey we are a family?? Hotaru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Setsuna: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hotaru: look I know I am related to you but, Mina, come on!
Anyway. after the FRIEND feud Link: hey that's another show!! Everyone: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!
On with the trip!!! Just ignore me!!! I quiet!!!! Mina: hey we have an announcer? I didn't know that.
After the little quarrel with the announcer they went to see a movie in nearby town which they really shouldn't do that because they have a show to do. Mina: we have a show?
Everyone starts to argue again because everyone wants to see a different movie. Pegasus and Yami return out of nowhere because they can. Pegasus: lets go see Legally Blonde 2!!! Yami: yeah because she is so fruity just like you Pegasus!! Pegasus: yeah I know. (giggle) Kaiba: hey where is Dark Link?? (Pegasus whispers to Yami) Pegasus: (whispering) I forgot to unchain him. Yami: (whispers) yeah I noticed the keys around your wrist.
Keys say to Dark Link's cell at bottom of clothes pile under the sofa. Pegasus: (saying to everyone) uhmmm.. He's sleeping..uhmmmm.. tee hee. (put keys behind back) uhmmm.. we got to go now.. bye.. Pegasus and Yami vanish behind big tree like the cartoons. Everyone: anyway.. What movie should we see?
This starts yet another argument with the hair pulling, nail scratching, fist punching and leg kicking (and not the third ones) which concludes in everyone deciding to go find Nemo in the movie called Finding Nemo. (hey Nemo rhymes with Nemo) The guy from the clear eyes commercial that has the freaky voice: wow
Everyone enters the theater and spots the snack stands. Hotaru: I want some popcorn!! Link: ok everyone large, extra large or extra extra large?? Everyone: EXTRA EXTRA LARGE!!!!!!!!!!!
Mina slaps Bakura (we haven't used him in a while) Bakura turns evil and pushes Mina. Bakura: hey what was that for?? Mina: we didn't fight over the popcorn size and I felt like fighting stupid!!!
Mina gets up and pushes Bakura again and Bakura accidentally got knocked into Setsuna which makes her drop her mood changing pill which she gets angry for no apparent besides dropping her last pill, takes her anger out on Mamoru which gets Mina more angry and she punches Kaiba and Kaiba pulls Yaten's ponytail which causes him to turn into Sailor Star Healer and he or she fires a star sensitive inferno towards Hotaru but she blocks it with her glaive deflecting it towards Legolas causing all his clothes to be burned off again causing nearby fangirls to pummel him to the ground but he gets up with renewed strength of a thousand elves and he runs to the bathroom screaming like a little girl except in a manly voice (if you can imagine) and Hotaru starts to blast the fangirls one by one till they are all dead. Our heroes (or whatever they are supposed to be) almost late for the movie run into the crowded theater full of screaming babies and leaving Legolas behind in the bathroom. Setsuna: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It is so funny how they are looking for Nemo and then they find him!!! HAHAHAH!! Hotaru: Uhhhh.Setsuna. I think that's the whole point of the movie. Setsuna: Oh right.
The gang watches the movie laughing and pointing out the obvious like how there is a starfish on the side of the tank or how big the shark is or how bad Harry Potter's acting is. But soon everyone in the theater gets very annoyed at the group. Random kid: Mommy make the evil guy stop laughing at my nose. Bakura (who is evil): hey kid? Wanna see a flesh eating bug card come to life and rip your nose off?? Random kid: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Mommy make him stop!!! Kid's mom: listen to me sir you are disturbing us and we want to watch the movie in peace. We paid good money to see this movie. Evil Bakura: up yours lady! Good Bakura: now that wasn't nice! Evil Bakura: Shut up you British talking pansy from Japan!!! Good Bakura: No you shut up!!! Evil Bakura: No you shut up! Good Bakura: No you shut up!! Random kid's mom: back away very slowly and don't look it strait in the eyes.
The random kid and mom slowly back away from the arguing Bakura, then they start sprinting towards the exit. Bakura still argues with himself and soon everyone in the theater thinks he is going crazy. Mamoru notices this and stands up to the audience in the Movie Theater. Mamoru: Look people, we are actually supposed to be on a game show but we kinda stole this semi-truck and now we are going to go on a road trip. Bakura here is harmless as he is not crazy. See there is an evil yami living inside of him and it sometimes breaks out to do some evil stuff but good Bakura keeps him under control. And I think Evil Bakura kinda likes his good side don't you Evil Bakura? Evil Bakura: Are you insane or have you just been sniffing too many roses tux man? I absolutely cannot stand this British speaking toto wearing girly man pansy bitch that I am forced to put up with till I can claim all the millenium items!!! Setsuna: Shut up Bakura!! You're missing the turtles! Bakura: Oh goody!!
Well after that little fiasco the entire theater audience left leaving the psycho's to watch the movie in peace. Well as peaceful as it could possibly be if they were watching the movie alone. Even Chibineko, O.V., and Zoragirl stopped by to watch the movie but then realized that they still had this story to write and more of the sailor moon stars series to watch on video stolen from the Naoko. Did we say stolen? We meant borrowed..Yeah that will fool them...it will fool them all!!!!!! MUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. ... (maniacal laughter last for about 5 hours then slowly dies down as all the characters are staring at them.) All three storywriters: ahem. yes well on with the story
Anyway. Legolas comes back during about the middle of the movie fully clothed and followed by two random fangirls that sat in the back of the theater whispering to each other in high squeaky voices about how tight Legolas' ass is. did we say ass? We meant butt.I mean we meant his behind.awww who are we kidding, Zoragirl meant ass, Chibineko meant butt and O.V. meant nothing really because he is a guy. O.V.: darn tootin' too!! Chibineko: who says "darn tootin"? O.V.: I do so shut up!! Chibineko: Make me!!
O.V. ties Chibineko up and gags her mouth so she can't talk. But the kind hearted and wonderfully beautiful and talented and smart and all around good person (or mermaid) Zoragirl comes and rescues the cat creature from total destruction. Chibineko: Uhmmm. thanks but what do you mean "wonderfully beautiful, kind hearted and all around good person" ?? and what was that crack about "cat creature"? Zoragirl: Well you know that I am a much prettier and gorgeous and charming and elegant and wonderful and O.V.: get on with it!! Zoragirl: oh right! Sorry, I am just trying to say that I am so much more better than either of you.
Well we are going to miss Zoragirl dearly but anyway you do not want to hear about yet another argument and thrashing so we are just going to skip this part because we all know what happens to the poor unfortunate fish thing. Zoragirl? You know the mermaid? Like we said in the beginning of the fic.? Oh forget you people I'm outa here!!
( sound effects of lots of stairs being climbed then a falling man and then a bunch of cuss words that are even too violent for the oldest of people who have been in wars and then the ultimate sound of a door being opened and closed) Chibineko: Well since Zoragirl will not be joining us for quite some time for reasons unknown.(sound in the background of whips and clinking metal and Zoragirls voice screaming at the top of her lungs in pain and O.V. yelling for her to work faster).yes well anyway on with the story, and I must say we are very impressed you have actually stayed with us for this long. On with the story!
The gang happily enjoys the movie and after it is over they all go outside and loiter around in the street. Why do they loiter? Because they can and we are writing this story. If you don't like it well tough cookies. Well anyway since this fic. Still has to go on for a little while we are going to make something up to get them moving again. Mina: you know what? I just had this crazy urge to go on a road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!!!!! Hotaru: a road trip? DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: yes a road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Setsuna: well were do you want to go on this road trip? DUN DUNDUN!!! Mina: I am not sure but I was thinking of going to Hawaii for our road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Setsuna: hey wait a second. I thought we were already on a road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Hotaru: well I guess we were but now we are going on a new road trip. DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: who keeps doing that? Setsuna: I am not sure but I think if we say road trip DUN DUN DUN!!! That it will start to go DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: oh so as long as we don't say road trip DUN DUN DUN!!! It will not do it? Setsuna: exactly!
(Silence occurs for several minutes) Hotaru: uhmm.. I think we should do something.. We can't just stay silent forever. DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: who is doing that? And I thought if we didn't say road trip DUN DUN DUN!!!! It would not do it? DUN DUN DUN!!!
Everyone looks around to find the laid off announcer dude working sound effects. Announcer dude: hey I got bored and I wanted to seek revenge and I now don't care if you don't say road trip...
Nothing happens Mina: you jerk!! You do that for us but you don't even do it for yourself!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! Mina: stop that!! DUN DUN DUN!!! Mina: I said stop!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! Mina: your asking for it buster!! DUN DUN DUN!! Mina: STOP IT YOU CRAZY PSYCOPATHIC NUTCASE!!! ....silence..... Mina: thank you DUN DUN DUN!!!! Mina: ARRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
Mina goes up to the crazy psychopathic nutcase announcer dude and punches him in the stomach then takes the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head, gives him a wedgie and then starts to kick him in the rear for several hours but since we are short on time we have sped this amazing process up so you can see it in all its beauty.
Anyway lets just get on with the story. Mina: ahhh. I feel much better. so where are we going? Hotaru: you said you wanted to go to Hawaii but we can't. Mina: and why ever not? Link: (just for a change of someone speaking) because Hawaii is an island and we are currently on the mainland. Mina: sooooooo... Link: so we can't drive in the ocean. Mina: elaborate you vile fiend!! Link: (sigh) ok see the ocean is water and heavy stuff like the truck we are driving sinks in water like the ocean. So therefore we would all drown and sink to an untimely death. Setsuna: did someone say time? Hotaru: no now shut up stupid baka brain!! Setsuna: AH! Hotaru is that anyway to speak to your Auntie Setsuna? Hotaru: first of all I'm not a child anymore. Ill be thirteen next year and as far as the auntie thing goes, well you really aren't my aunt. You just kinda adopted me.
Setsuna then begins to cry her little old heart out like the day when she found out Mamoru likes Serena. Or the day that the black moon family took Rini. Wait no actually those were tears of joy. never mind. Hotaru: please stop Setsuna... please... stop. now. right now. oh.fine... I still love you Auntie Mioh and I always will. mom. Setsuna: you really mean that? Hotaru: of course I do mom! Setsuna: oh daughter! Hotaru: oh mom!
They both run up to each other in slow motion through a field of flowers that just came out of nowhere (or did it) and they both have their arms open wide. They finally get to each other after several minutes of sappy music and hug each other as mother and daughter should. And Hotaru and Setsuna never fought again and they lived happily ever after in a land called Oz. Mina: it's so beautiful! I wish I had a daughter! Wait no I don't! Ok now break it up you two. We still have this story to do! Come on no more dillydallying! Hotaru: you always break up such wonderful things like this! We almost won an Oscar for that performance! Random Oscar dude is holding a little man of gold and is just about to give it to Setsuna but then turns away and gives it to Pegasus who came out of nowhere and then disappears again. But we will go ahead and get on with the story since so many people are threatening us with pitchforks and fire. So the crew drove down to California and stopped at some beach. They have lots so don't ask us which one. Well with Mina driving, they went about 200 mph (it's fiction ok?) into the ocean. Mina just kept on driving until she realized the truck was filling fast with water. She turned to face Link and glared at him. Mina: I thought you told me we could drive in the ocean! Link: no I didn't! I told you we couldn't! You didn't listen! Mina: oh sure blame the disasters on someone else why don't you?
Well since everyone was in a panic and trying to scramble out of the way of the rising water no one really cared who got them in this mess. They just kinda wanted to live. I mean wouldn't you? Setsuna: look! Up in the ocean! (I know it's cheesy but that's were it is) Hotaru: it's a bird! Mina: no it's a plane! Hotaru: no I think it's a bird! Mina: well I think it's a plane! Hotaru: bird! Mina: Plane! Hotaru: Bird! Mina: Plane! Hotaru: BIRD! Mina: PLANE! Hotaru: BIRD!! Mina: PLANE!! Setsuna: would you two shut up! It's neither! Its Bob the magical blue goldfish! Mina: well I still think it's a plane. Bakura: How come he's blue? Shouldn't he be an orangish color? Link: no because he's magical dumb ass! Bakura: oh.
Yes it was true. Bob the magical blue goldfish had come to rescue the weary travelers that were sinking into the ocean. Who is Bob the magical goldfish you ask? Well he's a magical fish that is blue and he's also a goldfish. Just some one we made up. Bear with us people. Kaiba: Bob you have come to save us all from a watery grave! Bob: bloop Kaiba: oh Bob, you always make jokes in the wrong situations. Bob: bloop
Bob with his magical blooping power, rescued the crew by forming a whirlpool that transported them to Hawaii in just a few short minutes. When they got there Bob the magical blue goldfish vanished without a trace leaving behind a trail of bubbles that led them strait to bob and signs that said his exact location. Behind the green rock under the coral kelp fields that go on for about 20 miles then make a left then another left then a right and then you're there. Setsuna: I guess we'll never see him ever again. He has left absolutely no trace of where he is so we can never find him. Link: but all you have to do is follow. Mina; no, words cannot comfort us now Link. He is gone and shall never return. Link: but it says in the script he's going to come. Hotaru: look Link! He's gone and there is no denying that we cannot ever find him. So its best if you just get on with your life and stop worrying about Bob. Link: yes but. Bakura: how many hints do we have to give you so you can shut up and stop giving away the rest of the story? Just be quiet Triforce boy! Link: . I'll be good. Mina: yay we are finally in Hawaii!. yeah. smell the fresh air. yep. oh boy. ahem.uhmm.now what?
Will our little buddies ever find out what to do on Hawaii? Will Link ever get the hints that are thrown at him? Will Pegasus and Yami ever get married? Will Serena ever come back to life and save the moon kingdom from another attack by Queen Beryl? Will squirrels ever learn to fly? Will people stop littering the earth? Will Legolas ever get the girl of his dreams? Will Hotaru finally get Link alone? Will I ever stop asking questions? Will this story ever end? Will Bob the magical blue goldfish ever find true happiness on planet earth? Will our storywriters stop torturing the readers? Will O.V. ever let Zoragirl go? Will we ever find Nemo? Will the end of the earth come and rid all the evil persons of the earth to their rightful place in the underworld? Will King Arthur ever find the Holy Grail? Will Harry Potter ever get some acting lessons? Will Aragorn ever get the elf of his dreams? Will we ever stop asking stupid questions in hope that you all could answer them? Will.(WHAM!) Chibineko: SHUT UP! You were getting annoying. Ahh. I feel relieved now. ahh.. anyway this really isn't the end. Please sit down and hold your horses. This was just a funny gag. Get it? Funny? Hahahahah? Ok we need funny lessons but please don't go away. O.V.: just stay and watch us torture Zoragirl. It great fun! Well not for Zoragirl, but for us and you the viewer! Zoragirl: help! Please help me! They keep me in a cage with no food or water! They make me work 26 hours a day! (on this planet there is 26 hours. Didn't know you were on a different planet now did ya? Muhahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and they make me eat fire! (note on the last statement about the different planet thing: you are actually on earth and not on an another planet. Any crossings or sayings of this kind are purely coincidental. Thank you for your time and money.) Are you even listening to me? Please help me! ( note on the last note that we made about the note before the last note: we did not really mean money we meant uhmm.. Cooperation.yes that's it. uhmm thank you for your time and cooperation.) oh I give up! Chibineko: quiet you! Your supposed to be working the acid mines today! Not get back to work! Zoragirl: yes master. O.V.: anyway on with the story!
Mina and the rest set off to go find a hotel. It was beginning to get dark. Suddenly Yaten spots a Holiday Inn and suites. The gang walks into the magnificent hotel, looking raggedy and tired. They reach the front desk to see a red haired woman with chops sticks sticking out of her head. Mina is amazed and just before she could grab them Hotaru knocks her hand away. Hotaru: hold on Mina. Just let me do the talking. Mina: how come you? Hotaru: because I am the most responsible. Mina: but your 12. Hotaru: I rest my case. Anyway, Hello there uhmm. (Looks at name tag) Hilda. Yes we need a room for lets see. 1.2...3.4, 5.. Uhmm 9 people. Do you have a room for nine people?
The clerk got a big grin on her face when she heard this. Clerk: why yes we can fit you in our hotel somewhere. We can either give you 3 rooms with queen beds and Jacuzzi's/ hot tubs or we can give you 2 rooms with king sized beds jacuzzi/ hot tubs, a love seat that turns into a bed and little mini bars. Hotaru: HUDDLE!!
The group got into great discussion on which package they should get. Finally Hotaru emerged from the group and went up to the clerk. Hotaru: ok so if we get the second package we get king-sized beds? Clerk: yes Hotaru: do we get access to the pool? Clerk: yes Hotaru: and mini bars? Clerk: yes Hotaru: how about access to the pool? Clerk: yes Hotaru: and the beds are king sized? Clerk: uhmm.yes Hotaru: and we do get the pool? Clerk: yes! Hotaru: and are the hot tubs filled with hot water? Clerk: yes Hotaru: are they inside? Clerk: yes Hotaru: and there is a pool? Clerk: YES THERE IS A POOL NOW WHICH PACKAGE DO YOU WANT!? Hotaru: well before I answer that I need to answer a few questions. (WHAM!!) Setsuna: we'll take it! We'll take the damn room!! Clerk: very good. Here are your keys and your rooms should be on the third floor. Thank you for choosing Holiday Inn! We hope you all die! Mina: what? Clerk: we hope you all enjoy your stay! Mina: we will! (yoink!) Ha got your chopsticks! RUN AWAY!
The gang went down the hallway screaming and yelling for joy. Why were they screaming? Because, well, lets just say it was going to be a very busy night. But the yells were disturbing other residents as well as the staff who were busy picking up the groups torn off clothes. When they got to the elevator they all crammed themselves inside and the staff threw their clothes in with them then ran away. The group that was half-naked were squished up on the side of the elevator walls. This wasn't a pretty site since the elevator was made of glass and was set near the bar area where tired residents of the Hotel met and drank like hell. Well they could all see the group in their half naked ways and were a bit disgusted yet rather amused. Yaten thought it would be fun to push all the buttons and ride the elevator for several hours before they got to bed. But it didn't matter there wasn't going to be too much sleeping anyway. Mina: Yaten you idiot! They are staring at my butt! Yaten: who? Mina: the drunken hobos down there! Yaten: well let me switch with you then.
After several minutes of moving scratching pulling and twisting, Yaten finally switched with Mina. This did not please the drunken hicks down at the bar so they left. The group finally decided to get off the elevator due to crampedness. They got off on the 3rd floor and ran down the hallways screaming like little children. They got in their rooms and turned off the lights. Hotaru, Link and Legolas jumped out the hotel window. Why? Because they wanted to see if they could land in the swimming pool below. Did they? Well Hotaru did a perfect dive and gracefully landed in the water. Link did a cannonball and splashed water everywhere and then hit the pool floor. Legolas on the other hand did not make it to the pool and crashed into the concrete below. But since he's immortal he didn't die but got a really bad headache and then fell into the pool. Hotaru: Wow! The pool's heated! Link: well.uhmmm.yes heated.
Back in the hotel rooms Mina, Mamoru and Yaten started to raid the mini bars and all the porno flicks. All Mina could find in the porno section of the movies though was just Disney movies. Yaten was happy just watching his naked girlfriend search for porno flicks with her butt in the air and eating stale macadamia nuts he found in the mini bar. Mamoru was getting impatient and decided to just lie in bed till Mina came, but oh well.
In the other room just next door were Setsuna, Kaiba and of course Bakura. Setsuna was having the best night of her life under the covers with Kaiba but Bakura just sat down in front of the TV mindlessly watching the Smurfs. Setsuna: Bakura how can you watch those evil green SOB's? Bakura: huh? Kaiba: come on! I'll let you have an hour with Setsuna if just stop watching the little green freaks! Bakura: huh?
Suddenly a little blue man jumped out of the TV. Random Smurf: you people make me sick! Setsuna: oh! And what are you going to do about little green freak! Random Smurf: uhmmm. I think we are blue not green. Setsuna: shut up! Random Smurf: make me! Setsuna: oh now you've done little freak! Bring it on!
Setsuna and the Smurf start to fight kung fu style in the middle of the room with Bakura and Kaiba just staring at them. Then Setsuna whips out her time staff and starts to blasts some deadly screams the Smurfs way. But the Smurf does a matrix and bends over backwards dodging the deadly screams. Setsuna starts to run up the wall and blast room to pieces. She the grabs the Smurf and chucks him back into the television set. After that's done Setsuna goes back under the covers this time with both men. After a couple of minutes, the Smurf returns to seek revenge upon Setsuna. But this time he has a whole army of the little blue sob's. Zoragirl: I just like typing sob! It's fun!
A great battle soon ensues. Since there are so many Smurfs (for reasons unknown) the entire sailor army comes with all of the scouts for those of you who don't like us writing about four scouts and killing one. So Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus, Pluto, Saturn and Venus all come to destroy the blue menace. We hate Mini Moon too so she's not here and Moon is dead. Chibineko: Yay! O.V.: shut up! Chibineko: I'll be good.
So now that we have all the scouts here you can't flame us for not putting them all in the story!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! Take that you stupid sailor moon fans! You can't do anything now!! Hahahaha! Feel the power that I posses! Hahaha! (whack) Zoragirl: shut up mister announcer dude! Were sailor moon fans! And we can take away all that power we gave you so just shut up! Chibineko: that's right you little SOB!!! O.V.: hahahahah!!! Feel our power now!!! Announcer: I'll be good. (Sorry all you announcer fans [though we doubt that are any] but he was just really asking for it) All the sailor senshi use their cool powers to destroy the little SOB's. (Zoragirl: I really like typing that!) Mars does her wicked cool Flame Sniper attack along with Mercury's Aqua Rhapsody. Uranus uses her Space Sword Blaster with Neptune's Deep Submerge attack. Venus does a Venus Love and Beauty Shock attack and Pluto does some more deadly screams. Since Saturn has very limited attacks in the TV series we'll just do some of her attacks we see in the mangas. So Saturn does a Silence Glaive Surprise attack. Oh and we almost forgot Jupiter. She can do her Jupiter Oak Evolution attack or my personal favorite from the manga, Jupiter's Coconut Cyclone. Man we know all there attacks don't we? Zoragirl: our lives are meaningless and we just waist them by memorizing the sailor scouts attacks! Chibineko: we just can't stop the memorization of all the anime we have ever heard of! O.V.: please help us by donating money to People Who Don't Have Any Real Lives But Just Waist Them By Watching Anime 24/7 Until They Are The Authority On All Anime Knowledge And Start To Do Whacked Out Fanfics About There Favorite Anime And Eventually Start Making Up Their Own Anime By Living Off Their Parents And Living In The Cellar Hotline. Zoragirl: just call 915-777-888-999 and donate all the money you have. Chibineko: we need 10,000 dollars to help ourselves and begin treatment. We are a mere $9,999 away from our goal! Zoragirl: thank you for your time and money! O.V.: and this time we really do mean money! All three: on with the story!
(uhmmm. yeah I would like to donate 9,999 dollars to the cause. uhmmm.it's in my savings account. oh shit! Are we on!)? uhmmm. ahem. yes well anyway the sailor scouts beat up the annoying little SOB's and rejoiced. Then the scouts went back to Tokyo and beat up Chaos without sailor moons help. HA take that moon princess! Setsuna Hotaru and Mina then continued their night of unimaginable fun. Yippee! As the night grew on and on and on Hotaru came back up to the room with the elf men even though Link really is a Hylien. Note from Zoragirl: hey all you people out there! If you love Link as much as I do or just like to beat the crap out of your friend for no gosh darn reason then you should get the new game Soul Caliber II! It has Link for the Gamecube version and it is really cool. If you don't like Link then screw you but buy it anyway for the Gamecube version. Any Playstation or X- Box version of the game just steal a bunch of them then burn them all to hell! Thanks!
Ahem. anyway Hotaru and her boyfriends start to watch the Disney channel because it was the only station on late at night for some apparent reason. Also one reason was that the Disney channel had taken over all TV networks except Fox. No one in their right mind would own Fox! TV: and then the male approaches the female and then starts to hump her repeatedly. Hotaru: Uhmm..Mina? what is humping? Mina: what!? Have you been watching the Disney Channel again? Hotaru: yes Mina: oh that explains it. uhmm. just turn off the TV and then go to sleep you don't need to worry about mean old mister Disney anymore. Hotaru: oh ok. Setsuna: (grumbles in her sleep) must be a Link lover.
The next morning the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the gang all had hangovers. Mina: oh man I shouldn't have gone to that strip club.
Everybody decided to go ahead and order some room service. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day and they weren't about to miss a chance to get some food. Setsuna: ok what does everybody want? Hotaru: I want waffles! Mina: shut stupid Link lover! we are going to have french toast! Setsuna: no! we are going to have pancakes and mustard!(this joke is dedicated to Chibineko. We miss you!) Mina: oh leave to a plutonian to have mustard on there pancakes! Momaru: lets just have toast? All three: NO!
Mamoru cowers in fear in some distant corner. All the guys get kinda grumpy and hungry listening to three girls talk about there fate in breakfast. And you know what happens to guys when they get hungry. Right girls? Random girls from audience: oh yeah! Preach it sister!
So the guys just started fighting for no apparent reason and gave Mina, Setsuna and Hotaru a nice little show. But since this story has so much fighting in it we are going to skip the details even though they are bloody and gruesome. O.V.: BLOOD! I SMELL BLOOD!! Chibineko: shut up! O.V.: I'll be good.
So to make everyone happy they just ordered some cereal. If you want to know what cereal they got, then I suggest we have a blood war with the killing and blood and all the suffering and carnage that could make even the pits of hell spit them out and throw them into a pit of pain and MISER.(WHACK!) Zoragirl: another announcer gone bad. Chibineko: we loose more announcers that way. O.V.: bring in the spare!!
Ahem. uhmm they just got Froot Loops.