Chapter 4 (Remember just who you are.)
Susan awoke from her sleep to the harsh sound of her alarm.
Her eyes flickered open and she smiled to see the picture of her and Mark, she loved that picture.
She rolled over in bed. There was something missing, the bed seemed cold and hollow.
Then it hit her, She sat up in bed and buried her head in her knees. It had all been a dream and gradually time rebuilt itself around her and the full realization of everything that had happened dawned on her. She wasn't with Mark and she never would be.
She could still barely believe it, even after a year, Mark was gone!
She thought about when she had left for Phoenix, she had told him she loved him. At the time she had believed she was saying it for his benefit. Now she realized it was true. She really had loved Mark, more than even she knew, not only as the irreplaceable friend he had always been, but as the amazing, wonderful man she never really got to say goodbye to. She realized she had never loved anybody like that since. Perhaps that was the problem with Dix; he just wasn't Mark.
She looked at the picture again; The picture Elizabeth had given her. He had kept it all this time, Elizabeth had said it was special to him. She had given her an envelope at the same time, but Susan had never opened it, she didn't know why, perhaps she just wasn't ready. But now she opened the drawer to her nightstand and took out the envelope, after a year of looking at it, unopened, she felt she was finally able to know what it said.
Dear Susan
By now you may have heard the letter I am going to send to the ER. I hope Carter will read it to everyone. I am going to write it when I have finished this letter to you. You are my best friend Susan. You have been for a long time. After you moved to Phoenix Doug said I had a broken heart, I think he was right. But it wasn't your fault, I should have said something earlier, I loved you Susan. That one kiss meant more to me than you will know.
You have always been there for me when I needed you. Who else would sit up with me all night while I slept on their legs after a full day in the ER? In a way I have always loved you and still do. Elizabeth knows that, why else do you think she has been so "British" to you since you got back? You and Jen are the only other women I have ever really loved apart from Elizabeth and I will never forget you.
Thank you Susan. You are such a wonderful person and so beautiful, especially when you smile. Please let your guard down more often and let people see how great you are. Especially Ella, she needs and aunt like you right now. Please Susan, help her "take her broken wings and learn to fly." I love her so much, Help her grow up and please don't let her forget me. Elizabeth is going to need your help too, but she won't admit it. Help her for me Susan. I need you to stay strong for them, I don't know anybody stronger than you. Tell Carter he can do it. I know he will have been asked to take over. Yes its scary, but I know what a good doctor he is and if he just works on his jump-shot I know he can do it.
I asked Elizabeth to give you that picture because it's my favorite one of us and it always me smile.
Remember me Susan but don't miss me. Never be upset when you think of me. I have nothing but happy memories of the two of us, you are so special Susanand when you think of me (assuming you do) don't cry, but let the world see that unbelievable smile that could always make me happy. Thank you Susan, Thank you for everything.
Love always,
Mark.
(so look into my face MarieClare
And remember just who you are
The go and forget me forever
But I know you still bear the scar deep inside yes you do)
A tear fell onto the page as she sat motionless on the bed.
Susan walked into the graveyard and up to the grave, she knelt down beside it and from her pocket she retrieved some objects and placed them at the graveside. She kissed her hand and placed it against the cold marble.
As Susan leaves the graveside, no longer crying but smiling. The camera zooms in on the objects:
A tiny model helicopter
A white cassette tape
And a note;
Dear Mark,
I overcame my fear of flying,
Thank you for mending my wings.
Love always
Susan.
(I know where you go to my lovely
when your alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
Cause I can look inside your head)
Susan awoke from her sleep to the harsh sound of her alarm.
Her eyes flickered open and she smiled to see the picture of her and Mark, she loved that picture.
She rolled over in bed. There was something missing, the bed seemed cold and hollow.
Then it hit her, She sat up in bed and buried her head in her knees. It had all been a dream and gradually time rebuilt itself around her and the full realization of everything that had happened dawned on her. She wasn't with Mark and she never would be.
She could still barely believe it, even after a year, Mark was gone!
She thought about when she had left for Phoenix, she had told him she loved him. At the time she had believed she was saying it for his benefit. Now she realized it was true. She really had loved Mark, more than even she knew, not only as the irreplaceable friend he had always been, but as the amazing, wonderful man she never really got to say goodbye to. She realized she had never loved anybody like that since. Perhaps that was the problem with Dix; he just wasn't Mark.
She looked at the picture again; The picture Elizabeth had given her. He had kept it all this time, Elizabeth had said it was special to him. She had given her an envelope at the same time, but Susan had never opened it, she didn't know why, perhaps she just wasn't ready. But now she opened the drawer to her nightstand and took out the envelope, after a year of looking at it, unopened, she felt she was finally able to know what it said.
Dear Susan
By now you may have heard the letter I am going to send to the ER. I hope Carter will read it to everyone. I am going to write it when I have finished this letter to you. You are my best friend Susan. You have been for a long time. After you moved to Phoenix Doug said I had a broken heart, I think he was right. But it wasn't your fault, I should have said something earlier, I loved you Susan. That one kiss meant more to me than you will know.
You have always been there for me when I needed you. Who else would sit up with me all night while I slept on their legs after a full day in the ER? In a way I have always loved you and still do. Elizabeth knows that, why else do you think she has been so "British" to you since you got back? You and Jen are the only other women I have ever really loved apart from Elizabeth and I will never forget you.
Thank you Susan. You are such a wonderful person and so beautiful, especially when you smile. Please let your guard down more often and let people see how great you are. Especially Ella, she needs and aunt like you right now. Please Susan, help her "take her broken wings and learn to fly." I love her so much, Help her grow up and please don't let her forget me. Elizabeth is going to need your help too, but she won't admit it. Help her for me Susan. I need you to stay strong for them, I don't know anybody stronger than you. Tell Carter he can do it. I know he will have been asked to take over. Yes its scary, but I know what a good doctor he is and if he just works on his jump-shot I know he can do it.
I asked Elizabeth to give you that picture because it's my favorite one of us and it always me smile.
Remember me Susan but don't miss me. Never be upset when you think of me. I have nothing but happy memories of the two of us, you are so special Susanand when you think of me (assuming you do) don't cry, but let the world see that unbelievable smile that could always make me happy. Thank you Susan, Thank you for everything.
Love always,
Mark.
(so look into my face MarieClare
And remember just who you are
The go and forget me forever
But I know you still bear the scar deep inside yes you do)
A tear fell onto the page as she sat motionless on the bed.
Susan walked into the graveyard and up to the grave, she knelt down beside it and from her pocket she retrieved some objects and placed them at the graveside. She kissed her hand and placed it against the cold marble.
As Susan leaves the graveside, no longer crying but smiling. The camera zooms in on the objects:
A tiny model helicopter
A white cassette tape
And a note;
Dear Mark,
I overcame my fear of flying,
Thank you for mending my wings.
Love always
Susan.
(I know where you go to my lovely
when your alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
Cause I can look inside your head)