ps - Slayer, I still love you!
and now, onto the fic!
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Harry looked over at Hermione, who in turn looked at Ron. All three looked back at Professor Smith and saw the thoroughly agitated look adorning his features. They took their usual seats in the front and waited for an explanation. After the rest of the students sat down, Smith stood up.
"Ms. Umbridge has been appointed to-"
"Hem, hem," Umbridge interrupted with a fake cough. Spike glared and stood aside, letting her step forward. It obviously bothered him to do that. She smiled sweetly and turned back to the class. "It has recently been brought to our attention at the ministry that the level of education in some subjects here is," she paused, and her eyes flickered for the briefest of moments toward Spike, "inadequate. The ministry has appointed me to rate the professors here and make sure they measure up to ministry standards. This is all, of course, in the interest of giving you a better education." She smiled another sweet smile and sat down in the back of the room.
Spike rolled his eyes and stood up from his desk. "Alright, put your books away, this is a practical study. Following our unit on trolls, I have here a troll hammer. Now, if you'll all-"
"Hem, hem," Umbridge smiled sweetly as all eyes turned to her.
"Is there a problem?" Spike asked in an uncaring voice.
"Do you really think it wise to bring such a powerful weapon into a classroom? Someone could be seriously injured."
Spike actually smiled. "Glad you asked. Granger, come here. Pick up the hammer."
The hammer was in the front of the classroom, in clear view of all the students. Hermione walked slowly to Spike and bent down to pick it up. After straining and struggling for a few minutes, Hermione let out an angry sigh.
"I can't lift it, Professor!" she exclaimed. Her expression changed, and Harry recognized the look she had when she figured something out. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"
Spike nodded. "Course I did. Goyle, you look like a good strong lad, come here and have a go at it."
Goyle looked to Malfoy, who nodded, eager for the chance to beat Hermione at something, even if it was just lifting a hammer. Goyle walked confidently up to the front where Spike stood, and bent over to lift the object. It was soon evident that he couldn't lift the hammer either. He walked dejectedly back to his seat.
"May I ask what the point of that exercise was?" Umbridge asked pointedly.
"A bit of it was to demonstrate how strong trolls were if they could not only lift the hammer, but also wield it in battle," Spike began. "But mostly it was to shove your words back down your throat." He smirked.
Professor Umbridge scowled and wrote something on her clipboard. Spike just rolled his eyes and looked completely uninterested.
"Professor?" Hermione asked, raising her hand.
"Yes, Miss Granger?"
"If no one can lift the hammer, how did you get it into the classroom?"
"I didn't say no one could lift it," Spike answered slyly. "I said trolls are pretty strong seeing as they can lift it."
"Can you lift it?" Dean asked eagerly.
"That's between me and the hammer," Spike replied quickly.
"So you can't?" Seamus questioned.
Spike ignored the question and began to pace. "If you'll all look, you'll notice that the hammer seems to be made of stone. Now, obviously, if it was only stone, people would be able to lift it. Which begs the question just what is it made of?" Spike didn't even look at the class as he added "Miss Granger?"
"It is made of stone. The most powerful troll hammers are made from a special sort of rock found only in the land of the trolls, which no human has ever entered. Only the most powerful trolls from that dimension are able to wield the hammers."
Spike nodded. "Five points. Tell me, miss Granger: if a troll is unable to wield the hammer, what is he given?"
"A club."
"Made of?"
"Troll wood."
"Five more points. Miss Granger-"
"Hem, hem" Umbridge looked up sweetly from her clipboard.
Spike rolled his eyes. "Problem?"
"Perhaps you should give some of the other students a chance. It hardly seems fair to give one house all the points."
Spike glared. "Perhaps you should sod off. She's the only student who knows the answers!"
Umbridge looked taken aback by Spike's retort. She gave a weak glare but soon dropped her eyes to the clipboard and scribbled furiously. Before any more could be said, however, the door burst open. Professor Summers stood framed in the doorway.
"S-" Buffy began. She looked around the classroom, her 's' still dragging on. "Ssssmith!" she finished. It had been agreed upon that since the students would be studying vampires, Spike was not a good name to call him. "Can I have my hammer back? Me n' Dawnie are gonna need it for a while."
"Buffy I-" Spike began, but he was cut off.
"I promise you can have it tomorrow or something, but I really need it!" Buffy interrupted, walking to the centre of the room.
"Hiring muggles," came an indignant whisper from the back of the room. Buffy looked over and saw Professor Umbridge writing on her clipboard. "Of all the low, pathetic, desperate attempts to get teachers," she hissed to herself. She didn't seem to notice Buffy's glare. Indeed, she seemed to be under the impression that no one could hear her. But then again, she was also under the impression that she was in a room full of ordinary humans.
Buffy stooped down and picked up the hammer, despite Spike's quiet protests. She straightened up, holding it over her shoulder in one hand. She walked to the back of the room and held out the other hand to Umbridge.
"You must be Dolores Umbridge," she greeted sweetly. "I've heard so much about you. I'm Buffy."
Umbridge just stared, open-mouthed, at Buffy. "A-are you... p-part... troll?" she stammered, incredulous.
"What?" Buffy asked, thoroughly confused.
"I was trying to tell you," Spike whispered, agitated. "I've already demonstrated how heavy the hammer is."
"Oh," Buffy replied, realization dawning on her. The students were all staring wide-eyed at her. Harry was studying the wood on his desk, knowing that her slayer strength was to blame. The hammer dropped from Buffy's hand, creating a large BANG! as it connected with the ground. Buffy seemed to shrink in stature, trying to will the students to forget what they just witnessed. No such luck.
"We knew you could fight, Professor Summers," Dean said finally, in complete awe. "But we had no idea you could lift that!"
"Course you didn't!" Buffy snapped back, trying to think up a possible explanation. It was Spike who saved the day.
"Professor Summers had te hammer enchanted so that she could lift it," he explained matter-of-factly. Buffy shot him a silent 'thank you' look. The class and Umbridge seemed to accept this explanation. Hermione and Ron shared a silent look. Harry avoided their gaze.
"Anywho, I gotta go," Buffy said, stooping down and picking up the hammer again. She walked quickly out of the class, avoiding any further questions.
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Hermione walked with Harry and Ron out of the classroom to lunch. Ron and Harry were carrying on a lively conversation about quidditch, seeming to have forgotten about the events of DADA. Hermione however, racked her brain, searching her memory for a spell. Finally she sighed, and thus drew Harry and Ron's attention away from quidditch and towards her.
"It's not possible," she stated simply.
"What's not possible, Hermione?" Ron asked curiously. Harry stayed silent.
"I've searched every inch of my memory and there is no spell that only allows selective people to lift an object. Any spell that would make the hammer light enough for Professor Summers to lift would make it light enough for us to lift."
"You don't know that, Hermione," Harry put in, trying desperately to think of an explanation. "Maybe it's an advanced spell."
"Harry, I've read advanced spellbooks. There is no such spell."
"Well then explain how she did it," Ron put in, unknowingly helping Harry.
Hermione frowned. "That's just it, Ron. I can't." She shook her head slowly. "I'm going for a walk." she announced after a moment.
"But, lunch," Harry began.
"I'm not hungry." Hermione replied quickly. She turned on her heel and walked outside into the fresh air.
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Buffy and Dawn had long since finished weapons training, and were now sprawled out on the ground near the lake. The breeze washed over them, cooling them down, as they carried on a lively conversation. This was how Angel found them, fresh from a conversation with Spike.
"So I hear we almost had a crisis on our hands," Angel greeted.
Buffy sat up. "Wha-? Oh, right. The hammer." Angel nodded. "Spike saved me, of all people."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dawn asked, faking her indignance.
Buffy smirked. "Means I'm ok with you dating him, so you better keep it that way."
Dawn nodded and smiled. "Good."
Angel cleared his throat. "Sooner or later, the Granger kid is going to know that something's up, and I don't think magic will get her off your case."
Buffy sighed. "I know. But it's not something I want to broadcast."
"Why not?" Dawn asked suddenly. Buffy and Angel looked at her. "I mean, it's not like they wouldn't believe you. They know about vampires, they know about demons. Sure, they think the slayer's a myth, but they've seen the way you can fight. Some of them are already wondering why Dumbledore hired you, even if you can fight. It'd just be telling them that you can protect them and kick their asses."
"I just don't think I'm ready for all those people to know about it. I've spent my entire career as a slayer not telling people who I am, working in secret. I've had to. Telling the world isn't as easy as you make it sound. Maybe someday I'll be able to, but now is not someday. 'Sides, I think we should be a bit more worried about her finding out about Angel and Spike. Vampire symptoms are a lot easier to pinpoint."
Angel nodded his agreement. "Exactly. We need to come up with a way to put it out of her mind completely."
Again, Dawn rebutted the idea. "Well she is working with us. I mean, if Harry knows, why can't she? And Ron for that matter. If they're fighting on our side, they deserve to know our side."
Buffy sighed and looked around warily. "Dawnie, we are not having this conversation now. It's hard enough to keep a secret in this place, I don't want to risk unwanted ears hanging around. We're going inside." Buffy stood up and made her way to the castle, closely followed by Angel. After a moment, Dawn sighed and followed.
Hermione stepped out from behind the tree. She had only heard the tail end of the conversation, but it was enough.
What isn't Harry telling us?
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end part 17!!
Next chapter: Hermione confronts Harry, secrets are revealed, secrets are kept, muggle defence class has unwanted visitors, and Buffy confronts Umbridge!