Chapter Six
Confessions
She was a child again, running through Imladris attempting to hide from her father's playful tickling. It was good to be with her father again after he had been gone for so long. Where had he gone anyway? What had he done? Suddenly he caught her, but his face looked different. At first she was frightend by the change but the scene itself transformed as quickly as it had appeared. She was now standing on one of the city's many balconies with Elrond. He looked at her with strong, peircing eyes as he spoke.
"I would rather you remained here, Celalcien. You know many things, but you still have much to learn about the Wild."
"I cannot not stay, this is not my place, though your people's kindness is without bounds."
"You were not meant to wonder as you do. Your father would not approve."
"My father is no longer here, Master Elrond, I must make my own choices. I choose to search Middle-Earth for whatever knowledge I do not have."
"Knowledge can be a dangerous thing, child. Some things mortals are not meant to know. I wish you would yeild and stay."
"I believe that choice is not open to me, Elessar has already chosen that path for himself," she scoffed in anger. The Ranger had supported Elrond's choices regarding her, yet he would not take his own destiny!
"Do not speak of what you do not know!" Elrond's voice went cold. "He will find his path in time. You however seek yours too eagerly."
"If I do not seek then I will not find. I refuse to sit here in Imladris when the Wild calls me."
"If you follow the road you make for yourself it will lead to ruin."
"Then I only follow the example of our people." Celalcien turned to walk away but the floor disappeared and there was no where to step. She turned back to Elrond for an answer only to realize that he was no longer there. Instead a Nazgul stood before her. The same, she knew, had killed her father. For Celalcien there was no place to run.
Looking into her enemy's invisible face she felt a fear she had not known possible. Then, suddenly, with a ear-splitting shreak the thing plunged it's blade into her heart and pain filled her. Tears of defeat ran down her cheeks as she fell into the darkness. Feeling herself decend into the void she let out a scream that came from the pits of Mordor.
***
Rose Cotton jumped out of her bed at the sound of terror. What was going on? Looking down she saw Celalcien wriggle and turn in pain as another scream escaped her lips. The girl was still asleep, Rosie realized as she knelt beside her friend and laid her hands on Lal's shoulders. "Lal, wake up. What's wrong? Wake up!" Her voice didn't stop another scream from coming so she shook Celalcien firmly, hoping the movement would wake her. Suddenly the Cotton felt something as cold as ice on her arm, it was the other's hand. Looking back at the guest's face she saw that the eyes were opened wide with horror. "Celalcien?" was all the Hobbit could say.
"Rosie, I have to leave," Lal whispered.
"I can't let you go out like this."
"You have to, it's better if I stay outside from now on. I refuse to cost your family their...sleep, among other things."
"Fine, but not until tomorrow. Then you can pack and go out with your wits about you."
Celalcien managed a smile, the shock of her dream had subsided, "Alright Rosie. I'll stay the rest of tonight."
"Good. Now get some sleep."
Lal nodded but dredded the rest of the night that lay before her. Her heart ached from the blade, even though it had not been real. Yes, she knew, Evil could find her even here, in fact, it already had.
***
The day of the Party dawned bright as could be wished and Pippin could barely be contained as he drug Merry down the path from Bag End and into the field where the event was being held.
"Look at that!" he exclaimed to his older cousin as he pointed at the pavillion that had been raised around the largest tree in the field. However Merry was looking at something completely different. Celalcien was walking along the road carring her pack. She hadn't carried her things with her since she had started staying at the Cottons. What was she up to?
"Merry, you're not looking," Pippin suddenly insisted, reminding the Brandybuck of his presence.
"Uh, yeah Pip, great. Stay here." With that he left the younger hobbit standing in the field and followed Celalcien. He had to run to catch her as she was quite a long way ahead of him. He wondered if she heard him coming because she kept quickening her pace. Was she avoiding him? Finally he gave up trying to follow and simply called her name, "Lal! Wait!"
Turning she looked at him and felt the pain on her heart ease and lift. In that moment she realized what Rosie had known all along, "I love him." Of course she couldn't tell him that but it escaped her anyway, "Amin mela lle." At once she blessed the Elvish tounge, she had told him, without his knowing.
"What? What does that mean?" Asked the confused hobbit.
"It means...never mind. What did you want?" After last night she had no choice but to act harder than she felt.
"You're carring your pack. You're not...leaving are you?" He hated the taste of those words, Frodo had been right, he wanted her to stay. He had known that the night he had seen her at the Green Dragon.
"I don't know. I feel like I should, things have been happening lately."
"What kind of things?" he asked.
She shook her head, making it obvious that the Road was not the place to talk about it. He nodded his understanding and grabbed her arm. "Come on." Silently she let him lead her. After a good while of walking they passed the Bywater and the Green Dragon, seemingly he understood the weight on her soul. Could such a thing be possible for this innocent Hobbit? It was clear he respected her as the enigma she was and would not let whatever she hid be opened to any ears but his. This was a new side of Meriadoc, she thought. His ignorence had fled and he knew that something more than friendship or fun was at stake. As he led her further his grip slipped down from her arm to her hand and she felt a shock of emotion rush through her once again. She knew that falling for him wasn't wise, Elrond would surely counsel against it. But right now she didn't care, she didn't care because Meriadoc Brandybuck was holding her hand. In his own way he was protecting her, even though he did not know what from.
After they had walked into the trees a good distance Merry turned toward her and took her other hand as well. "Now, what's been happening?"
Celalcien bit her lip, all she had to do was tell him and she would no longer carry her burdens alone, but, as she had told him in the Green Dragon, death might seek him out if she said too much. Then she decided, she would one again trust him with what she could. "Nightmares. They're horrible. I keep seeing things from my past, my father before he was...before he died, and they keep getting worse. It's like those dreams where you run and you scream but there's no one to hear and no place to go. It scares me, I know something has happened and I fear it."
Merry was taken aback, he was surprised enough when she had explained herself to him the first time, but this he had never expected. How was he supposed to help her? He was just a Hobbit with no idea as to what lay outside the Shire. "What can I do to help?" was all he could think to say.
"Nothing. No one can help me, unless I abandon what my father passed on. And please, don't ask what it is, I can't tell you."
"Fine, I won't. But there's got to be something. What if you stayed here in the Shire, would you feel safer then?"
"I would not be safe even if I dwelt in the most desolate parts of the Wild."
"I have to help you."
"You can't," despite herself a tear escaped from her eye, reminding her of the night before. "I already told you that."
His only response was to tighten his grip on her hands. She knew what he was telling her, he would never let her go.
"I have to leave, evil hunts me, I cannot let my presence in the Shire condemn this place."
Merry was silent, not sure what to say. Finally he let out a sigh, "If I could ask anything of you it would be that you would stay."
"You would have me bring ruin on the Shire?"
Merry shook his head. "Are you sure that...that whatever it is knows you're here?"
Without realizing it her own hands squeezed his harder as well and she whispered, "No. But I can't take that chance. It's been years since I've had these nightmares and it worries me that they're returning."
"Then you don't even know if you're in danger."
"Maybe. But someone is, wheather it be me or no."
"Then stay."
"I can't..." The rest of her words never left her mouth. He had pulled her close and softly, briefly kissed her.
"Stay," was all he said afterward.
She was speechless as she looked at him, but nodded as she tried to hold back the tears. Yes, this was what she wanted. She wanted the Shire, she wanted a life, she wanted to love and be loved. As far as Celalcien was concerned she was where she belonged.
Merry seemed to understand her thoughts and kept silent. He simply took her hand once more and led her back the way they had come.
Confessions
She was a child again, running through Imladris attempting to hide from her father's playful tickling. It was good to be with her father again after he had been gone for so long. Where had he gone anyway? What had he done? Suddenly he caught her, but his face looked different. At first she was frightend by the change but the scene itself transformed as quickly as it had appeared. She was now standing on one of the city's many balconies with Elrond. He looked at her with strong, peircing eyes as he spoke.
"I would rather you remained here, Celalcien. You know many things, but you still have much to learn about the Wild."
"I cannot not stay, this is not my place, though your people's kindness is without bounds."
"You were not meant to wonder as you do. Your father would not approve."
"My father is no longer here, Master Elrond, I must make my own choices. I choose to search Middle-Earth for whatever knowledge I do not have."
"Knowledge can be a dangerous thing, child. Some things mortals are not meant to know. I wish you would yeild and stay."
"I believe that choice is not open to me, Elessar has already chosen that path for himself," she scoffed in anger. The Ranger had supported Elrond's choices regarding her, yet he would not take his own destiny!
"Do not speak of what you do not know!" Elrond's voice went cold. "He will find his path in time. You however seek yours too eagerly."
"If I do not seek then I will not find. I refuse to sit here in Imladris when the Wild calls me."
"If you follow the road you make for yourself it will lead to ruin."
"Then I only follow the example of our people." Celalcien turned to walk away but the floor disappeared and there was no where to step. She turned back to Elrond for an answer only to realize that he was no longer there. Instead a Nazgul stood before her. The same, she knew, had killed her father. For Celalcien there was no place to run.
Looking into her enemy's invisible face she felt a fear she had not known possible. Then, suddenly, with a ear-splitting shreak the thing plunged it's blade into her heart and pain filled her. Tears of defeat ran down her cheeks as she fell into the darkness. Feeling herself decend into the void she let out a scream that came from the pits of Mordor.
***
Rose Cotton jumped out of her bed at the sound of terror. What was going on? Looking down she saw Celalcien wriggle and turn in pain as another scream escaped her lips. The girl was still asleep, Rosie realized as she knelt beside her friend and laid her hands on Lal's shoulders. "Lal, wake up. What's wrong? Wake up!" Her voice didn't stop another scream from coming so she shook Celalcien firmly, hoping the movement would wake her. Suddenly the Cotton felt something as cold as ice on her arm, it was the other's hand. Looking back at the guest's face she saw that the eyes were opened wide with horror. "Celalcien?" was all the Hobbit could say.
"Rosie, I have to leave," Lal whispered.
"I can't let you go out like this."
"You have to, it's better if I stay outside from now on. I refuse to cost your family their...sleep, among other things."
"Fine, but not until tomorrow. Then you can pack and go out with your wits about you."
Celalcien managed a smile, the shock of her dream had subsided, "Alright Rosie. I'll stay the rest of tonight."
"Good. Now get some sleep."
Lal nodded but dredded the rest of the night that lay before her. Her heart ached from the blade, even though it had not been real. Yes, she knew, Evil could find her even here, in fact, it already had.
***
The day of the Party dawned bright as could be wished and Pippin could barely be contained as he drug Merry down the path from Bag End and into the field where the event was being held.
"Look at that!" he exclaimed to his older cousin as he pointed at the pavillion that had been raised around the largest tree in the field. However Merry was looking at something completely different. Celalcien was walking along the road carring her pack. She hadn't carried her things with her since she had started staying at the Cottons. What was she up to?
"Merry, you're not looking," Pippin suddenly insisted, reminding the Brandybuck of his presence.
"Uh, yeah Pip, great. Stay here." With that he left the younger hobbit standing in the field and followed Celalcien. He had to run to catch her as she was quite a long way ahead of him. He wondered if she heard him coming because she kept quickening her pace. Was she avoiding him? Finally he gave up trying to follow and simply called her name, "Lal! Wait!"
Turning she looked at him and felt the pain on her heart ease and lift. In that moment she realized what Rosie had known all along, "I love him." Of course she couldn't tell him that but it escaped her anyway, "Amin mela lle." At once she blessed the Elvish tounge, she had told him, without his knowing.
"What? What does that mean?" Asked the confused hobbit.
"It means...never mind. What did you want?" After last night she had no choice but to act harder than she felt.
"You're carring your pack. You're not...leaving are you?" He hated the taste of those words, Frodo had been right, he wanted her to stay. He had known that the night he had seen her at the Green Dragon.
"I don't know. I feel like I should, things have been happening lately."
"What kind of things?" he asked.
She shook her head, making it obvious that the Road was not the place to talk about it. He nodded his understanding and grabbed her arm. "Come on." Silently she let him lead her. After a good while of walking they passed the Bywater and the Green Dragon, seemingly he understood the weight on her soul. Could such a thing be possible for this innocent Hobbit? It was clear he respected her as the enigma she was and would not let whatever she hid be opened to any ears but his. This was a new side of Meriadoc, she thought. His ignorence had fled and he knew that something more than friendship or fun was at stake. As he led her further his grip slipped down from her arm to her hand and she felt a shock of emotion rush through her once again. She knew that falling for him wasn't wise, Elrond would surely counsel against it. But right now she didn't care, she didn't care because Meriadoc Brandybuck was holding her hand. In his own way he was protecting her, even though he did not know what from.
After they had walked into the trees a good distance Merry turned toward her and took her other hand as well. "Now, what's been happening?"
Celalcien bit her lip, all she had to do was tell him and she would no longer carry her burdens alone, but, as she had told him in the Green Dragon, death might seek him out if she said too much. Then she decided, she would one again trust him with what she could. "Nightmares. They're horrible. I keep seeing things from my past, my father before he was...before he died, and they keep getting worse. It's like those dreams where you run and you scream but there's no one to hear and no place to go. It scares me, I know something has happened and I fear it."
Merry was taken aback, he was surprised enough when she had explained herself to him the first time, but this he had never expected. How was he supposed to help her? He was just a Hobbit with no idea as to what lay outside the Shire. "What can I do to help?" was all he could think to say.
"Nothing. No one can help me, unless I abandon what my father passed on. And please, don't ask what it is, I can't tell you."
"Fine, I won't. But there's got to be something. What if you stayed here in the Shire, would you feel safer then?"
"I would not be safe even if I dwelt in the most desolate parts of the Wild."
"I have to help you."
"You can't," despite herself a tear escaped from her eye, reminding her of the night before. "I already told you that."
His only response was to tighten his grip on her hands. She knew what he was telling her, he would never let her go.
"I have to leave, evil hunts me, I cannot let my presence in the Shire condemn this place."
Merry was silent, not sure what to say. Finally he let out a sigh, "If I could ask anything of you it would be that you would stay."
"You would have me bring ruin on the Shire?"
Merry shook his head. "Are you sure that...that whatever it is knows you're here?"
Without realizing it her own hands squeezed his harder as well and she whispered, "No. But I can't take that chance. It's been years since I've had these nightmares and it worries me that they're returning."
"Then you don't even know if you're in danger."
"Maybe. But someone is, wheather it be me or no."
"Then stay."
"I can't..." The rest of her words never left her mouth. He had pulled her close and softly, briefly kissed her.
"Stay," was all he said afterward.
She was speechless as she looked at him, but nodded as she tried to hold back the tears. Yes, this was what she wanted. She wanted the Shire, she wanted a life, she wanted to love and be loved. As far as Celalcien was concerned she was where she belonged.
Merry seemed to understand her thoughts and kept silent. He simply took her hand once more and led her back the way they had come.