Chapter 2
~Blood Raven~
This was the second time I had been woken up by Seztarám's loud, incessant racket, apart from this time I had been woken up from a sleep that not only did I intend on having, but also desperately needed. Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciated Seztarám's help, if only he had given me it at an earlier time than which he did.
It seemed that the commotion was mostly related to our last challenge. Seztarám seemed to be boasting about it, apart from most of the story involved me and hardly any of it involved him what so ever. I didn't mind being bragged about, but I'd rather the big lummox would brag about something I had actually done and give himself some credit for a change.
"...back in! You should have seen him! Sacremorn was battling for his life! He was giving them a one-two here, and a one-two there! Of course he had the whole situation under control; that was until the terrifying Shaman appeared! Despite all of Sacremorn's heroic efforts, the Shaman used his evvviiillll powers to bring the Fallen... BACK TO LIFE! They surrounded him! But of course Sacremorn wasn't going to let a bunch of no good demons beat him in battle, ohhhh nooo. In a fearsome attack, he somehow covered himself in flame and disintegrated the Fallen there and then! Well of course, the Shaman couldn't bring the Fallen back to life without their corpses and seen as though he was running away in a mad panic, and I must say I don't blame him, after all he was facing Sacremorn for goodness sake, anyway as I was saying, seen as though he was running in my direction, I thought that I might as well stop him, so I... caved his head in with my club. BWAHAHAHA!"
"That story's a little exaggerated Seztarám." The whole crowd roared. The rouges were now surrounding me. Two of them, who were dressed in what could hardly be classed as a quill rat hide bra and the smallest gargantuan fur panties that you have ever seen in your life, were now clinching onto me like a couple of starved leeches. "Er... hi?"
The whole crowd were grasping for me like a group of hungry zombies all screaming "Thank you Sacremorn" or "We love you Sacremorn" or "Can we have your autograph Sacremorn".
"Er, ladies, ladies, calm down!" I cried, now finding it especially hard to breath. "Er, um, Seztarám, help!"
"You lucky bugger Sacremorn! I'll leave you with your fans. I wish I were you!"
"No Seztarám! Argh, no! COME BACK! SEZTARÁM?"
This was the second time Seztarám had left me struggling for my life, apart from under slightly better circumstances. In fact, I was trying to figure out which one I'd rather be in.
*
"Well, That was horrible." I said to myself, shivering slightly, after I had finally escaped from the clutches of the hero-hungry rouge tribes. I was now searching for Seztarám, so I could ram the underwear, which was dangling from my helm, down his throat. That was until.
"SACREMORN, SACREMORN!"
"OHHH NO, LEAVE ME ALONE! FOR THE LOVE OF THE HEAVENS, PLEASE, SPARE ME FROM YOUR TORTURE!" It took me a good few seconds to realise that it wasn't another rouge fan, but Akara, who was now undoubtedly judging my sanity. "Oh, er. What is it my good lady?"
She didn't answer for a moment. Instead she stood staring, as if Diablo himself had just wandered into the encampment. I then realised that the rouge's underwear was still dangling from my head, and I was covered in lipstick kiss marks. Quickly, I grabbed the underwear, and for some reason attempted to hide them behind my back.
We stood for a few moments until finally she shuck of the shock of what I had just screamed and what she had just saw and continued.
"It's Seztarám, Sacremorn. He's gone!"
"What do you mean gone? Gone where?"
"Well, while you were busy doing... well whatever you were doing..."
"No, my lady, you have it all wrong..."
"Yes I'm sure. Anyway, when you were doing that, he talked to Kashya..."
"Oh no, not her too!" I chuckled, thinking of how he had harassed Charsi earlier on. I then looked up at Akara, who looked even more shocked than before.
"Excuse me!?" She yelped.
"Oh no, NO! I didn't mean... he hasn't... he didn't... oh never mind, carry on."
"Well she told him about Blood Raven, and he..."
"Wait, wait, wait. Blood Raven?"
"Oh for Pete's sake. She's a corrupted Rouge archer, with incredible power. Kashya told him of her, and he ran off immediately to challenge her."
"Wait a minute. When you say incredible power, do you mean enough power to defeat Seztarám?"
"That's exactly what I mean, Sacremorn. I don't think that he can beat her on his own."
"Hmmm, seems like the last victory has made him a little too over confident. Although, now I think about it. He's normally like this. Don't worry Akara, he'll be fine." I said with overly exaggerated enthusiasm, knowing full well that he would be half dead by now.
"I hope your right." She replied with a rather unsure tone. I turned and began to slowly, walk away.
"So do I" I said quietly.
As soon as I got outside the camp, I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. That was before I realised that I didn't know which way to go.
*
After running back into the encampment (trying to stay clear of Akara so I wouldn't look like an idiot), talking to Kashya, finding out that I had to find the Burial Grounds past the Cold Plains, fighting my way through the Blood Moor, battling through the Cold Plains, wandering into the Burial Grounds and wrestling my way through hordes of resurrecting zombies, I finally found Seztarám held in the air by his throat in the clutches of Blood Raven.
"Put... my friend... down...!" I wheezed, completely out of breath.
"A PALADIN!" Her voice was horrifying. Her voice echoed, each echo in a different tone to the last. "GRRREAT! COME TO SAVE YOUR PATHETIC FRIEND?"
"Please, do you really need to shout, I have a splitting - " A flaming arrow shot at my head. I ducked quickly. "Now that's just rude!" I dived towards Blood Raven, sword in hand. Just as I reached a possible attacking distance, a horde of zombies emerged from the floor in front of me. I skidded to a halt. "Great, I hate zombies!"
"Me... too..." I heard Seztarám wheeze, still held by the throat in Blood Ravens hand.
"Don't worry Seztarám, my friend. I'll handle this."
"LIKE HECK YOU WILL!" More flaming arrows came my way.
"Oh come o..." More arrows. I looked to my left. More and more zombies were rising from the graves. "This isn't good!"
"FINALLY, YOU GOT SOMETHING RIGHT, HAHAHA!" I clenched my fist and focused power into my hand. I then begun to release blast after blast of the Holy Bolt attack I had just learned in my mad hurry to get here. In a blinding display of Godly light, I had destroyed all of the zombies in sight.
"Now it's just you and me Blood Raven!" More arrows.
"YOUR NOT COMPLETELY RIGHT THERE, PALADIN!" She raised her hands. The floor began to shake and crack, the zombies I thought that I had slaughtered came back to life, and out of the cracks came newly spawned undead minions.
"Oh great!"
"FOR ME, YES!" Knowing that I would have to defeat Blood Raven herself, to survive, I ran, full speed, towards her. I savaged like a bull through the hoards of undead, Zombies flew everywhere. Finally, I was face to face with Blood Raven. I swung my sword and cut off the arm she was using to strangle Seztarám. With a blood-curdling scream, she ran into the protection of the undead.
"Get... it... off!" Seztarám panted. "Get if off!" The arm was still clutched to his throat, and by the sound of his voice, it was getting tighter. I grabbed the arm and pulled, while pushing on Seztarám's head for leverage. After a while, I found that pulling on his ponytail instead of his shiny bald, nugget of a forehead, gave me much more support, even though Seztarám was desperately punching my guts in, trying to get me to let go. Finally the arm popped off and Seztarám fell to his knees, gasping for breath.
"Seztarám, I think we could do with a repeat performance of our last victory!" I declared after I had punched him in the nose for treating my stomach as a punch bag. I was rather worried about the hundreds of undead zombies staggering towards us.
"I... ca..."
"What? Just scream like before." I replied, still facing the undead horde.
"I... c... "
"You'll have to speak up Seztarám," I turned to him. "I can't hear... you?" Seztarám was still on the floor clutching his throat in one hand, and his nose, which was spitting blood all over the floor in his other. "What ever's the matter Seztarám? And don't tell me it's your nose, 'cause I swear I'll punch it again, but harder!"
"My... vo...! My... voice...! I... I've lost... m... m... vo...!" He replied, still squirming on the floor, grasping his throat. He's seemed to have completely forgotten about his bleeding nose, as he hand both hands clutched onto his throat.
"Oh great! Just when I actually needed your big mouth, you go and get a sore throat, thanks a lot."
"Don't... mention it... cough-cough"
"Think Sacremorn! Think!" I said whilst rubbing my chin, trying to think of possible solutions to this rather deadly problem.
"Sacre... cough... Sacremorn! Port... Po..."
"What?"
"To... Town... Po... ... ..."
"Come on Seztarám, what?"
"... ... ..."
"Port? Port town? I don't understand."
"... ... ..."
"Port town? Town Po? Port Town... Town... TOWN PORTAL!"
"... uh... huh... cough-cough"
I searched my belt. "I don't have one!"
"Here... you... go... cough" Seztarám said with increasing difficulty, whilst handing over a rolled up scroll, which was covered in nose-blood and tied up with a blue ribbon.
"Why didn't you use it you moron!?"
"I cant... bloody... ... ... read it... ... ... CAN I? Hur... hurry...." There was an unusually long pause. Seztarám's voice became rather quiet, so quiet in fact, that I couldn't hear him declare: "Um.... Sacre... S... ....!"
"Your lazy, that's your problem! Seztarám, your knots are hopeless!" I said with my back to him, desperately fiddling around with the ribbon.
"... Sac...! Sacre...!"
"Seztarám you buffoon! Why did you have to tie the ribbon on so bloody tight!?"
"... Sacre... help...!"
"Bloody idiot. Here I am, stuck in the middle of an army of zombies, with an evil undead, scary voiced mistress, waiting to kill me and I cant even open a ruddy town portal scroll."
"Sacre... y... idi... help!"
"Aha, dunnit!" Quickly, I read the scroll and a blue portal opened in front of me. "Come on Seztarám, lets go. Seztarám? Come on!" I looked round. "Seztarám? Uh oh!" All I could see was Seztarám's arm flailing madly from under a huge pile of bloodthirsty zombies. "Oh damn! Get off him!" I booted them, pulled them and strangled them off of him, before dragging him out of danger... again. I then threw him through the portal, shook of a skeleton that had clenched onto my left arm and basically fell through the portal myself. Just before the graveyard vanished before me and I re-appeared in the encampment, I noticed that a human corpse was dangling from the tree that was directly in the middle of the yard. What interested me most was the object that the rotting man was grasping in his hands.
~Blood Raven~
This was the second time I had been woken up by Seztarám's loud, incessant racket, apart from this time I had been woken up from a sleep that not only did I intend on having, but also desperately needed. Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciated Seztarám's help, if only he had given me it at an earlier time than which he did.
It seemed that the commotion was mostly related to our last challenge. Seztarám seemed to be boasting about it, apart from most of the story involved me and hardly any of it involved him what so ever. I didn't mind being bragged about, but I'd rather the big lummox would brag about something I had actually done and give himself some credit for a change.
"...back in! You should have seen him! Sacremorn was battling for his life! He was giving them a one-two here, and a one-two there! Of course he had the whole situation under control; that was until the terrifying Shaman appeared! Despite all of Sacremorn's heroic efforts, the Shaman used his evvviiillll powers to bring the Fallen... BACK TO LIFE! They surrounded him! But of course Sacremorn wasn't going to let a bunch of no good demons beat him in battle, ohhhh nooo. In a fearsome attack, he somehow covered himself in flame and disintegrated the Fallen there and then! Well of course, the Shaman couldn't bring the Fallen back to life without their corpses and seen as though he was running away in a mad panic, and I must say I don't blame him, after all he was facing Sacremorn for goodness sake, anyway as I was saying, seen as though he was running in my direction, I thought that I might as well stop him, so I... caved his head in with my club. BWAHAHAHA!"
"That story's a little exaggerated Seztarám." The whole crowd roared. The rouges were now surrounding me. Two of them, who were dressed in what could hardly be classed as a quill rat hide bra and the smallest gargantuan fur panties that you have ever seen in your life, were now clinching onto me like a couple of starved leeches. "Er... hi?"
The whole crowd were grasping for me like a group of hungry zombies all screaming "Thank you Sacremorn" or "We love you Sacremorn" or "Can we have your autograph Sacremorn".
"Er, ladies, ladies, calm down!" I cried, now finding it especially hard to breath. "Er, um, Seztarám, help!"
"You lucky bugger Sacremorn! I'll leave you with your fans. I wish I were you!"
"No Seztarám! Argh, no! COME BACK! SEZTARÁM?"
This was the second time Seztarám had left me struggling for my life, apart from under slightly better circumstances. In fact, I was trying to figure out which one I'd rather be in.
*
"Well, That was horrible." I said to myself, shivering slightly, after I had finally escaped from the clutches of the hero-hungry rouge tribes. I was now searching for Seztarám, so I could ram the underwear, which was dangling from my helm, down his throat. That was until.
"SACREMORN, SACREMORN!"
"OHHH NO, LEAVE ME ALONE! FOR THE LOVE OF THE HEAVENS, PLEASE, SPARE ME FROM YOUR TORTURE!" It took me a good few seconds to realise that it wasn't another rouge fan, but Akara, who was now undoubtedly judging my sanity. "Oh, er. What is it my good lady?"
She didn't answer for a moment. Instead she stood staring, as if Diablo himself had just wandered into the encampment. I then realised that the rouge's underwear was still dangling from my head, and I was covered in lipstick kiss marks. Quickly, I grabbed the underwear, and for some reason attempted to hide them behind my back.
We stood for a few moments until finally she shuck of the shock of what I had just screamed and what she had just saw and continued.
"It's Seztarám, Sacremorn. He's gone!"
"What do you mean gone? Gone where?"
"Well, while you were busy doing... well whatever you were doing..."
"No, my lady, you have it all wrong..."
"Yes I'm sure. Anyway, when you were doing that, he talked to Kashya..."
"Oh no, not her too!" I chuckled, thinking of how he had harassed Charsi earlier on. I then looked up at Akara, who looked even more shocked than before.
"Excuse me!?" She yelped.
"Oh no, NO! I didn't mean... he hasn't... he didn't... oh never mind, carry on."
"Well she told him about Blood Raven, and he..."
"Wait, wait, wait. Blood Raven?"
"Oh for Pete's sake. She's a corrupted Rouge archer, with incredible power. Kashya told him of her, and he ran off immediately to challenge her."
"Wait a minute. When you say incredible power, do you mean enough power to defeat Seztarám?"
"That's exactly what I mean, Sacremorn. I don't think that he can beat her on his own."
"Hmmm, seems like the last victory has made him a little too over confident. Although, now I think about it. He's normally like this. Don't worry Akara, he'll be fine." I said with overly exaggerated enthusiasm, knowing full well that he would be half dead by now.
"I hope your right." She replied with a rather unsure tone. I turned and began to slowly, walk away.
"So do I" I said quietly.
As soon as I got outside the camp, I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. That was before I realised that I didn't know which way to go.
*
After running back into the encampment (trying to stay clear of Akara so I wouldn't look like an idiot), talking to Kashya, finding out that I had to find the Burial Grounds past the Cold Plains, fighting my way through the Blood Moor, battling through the Cold Plains, wandering into the Burial Grounds and wrestling my way through hordes of resurrecting zombies, I finally found Seztarám held in the air by his throat in the clutches of Blood Raven.
"Put... my friend... down...!" I wheezed, completely out of breath.
"A PALADIN!" Her voice was horrifying. Her voice echoed, each echo in a different tone to the last. "GRRREAT! COME TO SAVE YOUR PATHETIC FRIEND?"
"Please, do you really need to shout, I have a splitting - " A flaming arrow shot at my head. I ducked quickly. "Now that's just rude!" I dived towards Blood Raven, sword in hand. Just as I reached a possible attacking distance, a horde of zombies emerged from the floor in front of me. I skidded to a halt. "Great, I hate zombies!"
"Me... too..." I heard Seztarám wheeze, still held by the throat in Blood Ravens hand.
"Don't worry Seztarám, my friend. I'll handle this."
"LIKE HECK YOU WILL!" More flaming arrows came my way.
"Oh come o..." More arrows. I looked to my left. More and more zombies were rising from the graves. "This isn't good!"
"FINALLY, YOU GOT SOMETHING RIGHT, HAHAHA!" I clenched my fist and focused power into my hand. I then begun to release blast after blast of the Holy Bolt attack I had just learned in my mad hurry to get here. In a blinding display of Godly light, I had destroyed all of the zombies in sight.
"Now it's just you and me Blood Raven!" More arrows.
"YOUR NOT COMPLETELY RIGHT THERE, PALADIN!" She raised her hands. The floor began to shake and crack, the zombies I thought that I had slaughtered came back to life, and out of the cracks came newly spawned undead minions.
"Oh great!"
"FOR ME, YES!" Knowing that I would have to defeat Blood Raven herself, to survive, I ran, full speed, towards her. I savaged like a bull through the hoards of undead, Zombies flew everywhere. Finally, I was face to face with Blood Raven. I swung my sword and cut off the arm she was using to strangle Seztarám. With a blood-curdling scream, she ran into the protection of the undead.
"Get... it... off!" Seztarám panted. "Get if off!" The arm was still clutched to his throat, and by the sound of his voice, it was getting tighter. I grabbed the arm and pulled, while pushing on Seztarám's head for leverage. After a while, I found that pulling on his ponytail instead of his shiny bald, nugget of a forehead, gave me much more support, even though Seztarám was desperately punching my guts in, trying to get me to let go. Finally the arm popped off and Seztarám fell to his knees, gasping for breath.
"Seztarám, I think we could do with a repeat performance of our last victory!" I declared after I had punched him in the nose for treating my stomach as a punch bag. I was rather worried about the hundreds of undead zombies staggering towards us.
"I... ca..."
"What? Just scream like before." I replied, still facing the undead horde.
"I... c... "
"You'll have to speak up Seztarám," I turned to him. "I can't hear... you?" Seztarám was still on the floor clutching his throat in one hand, and his nose, which was spitting blood all over the floor in his other. "What ever's the matter Seztarám? And don't tell me it's your nose, 'cause I swear I'll punch it again, but harder!"
"My... vo...! My... voice...! I... I've lost... m... m... vo...!" He replied, still squirming on the floor, grasping his throat. He's seemed to have completely forgotten about his bleeding nose, as he hand both hands clutched onto his throat.
"Oh great! Just when I actually needed your big mouth, you go and get a sore throat, thanks a lot."
"Don't... mention it... cough-cough"
"Think Sacremorn! Think!" I said whilst rubbing my chin, trying to think of possible solutions to this rather deadly problem.
"Sacre... cough... Sacremorn! Port... Po..."
"What?"
"To... Town... Po... ... ..."
"Come on Seztarám, what?"
"... ... ..."
"Port? Port town? I don't understand."
"... ... ..."
"Port town? Town Po? Port Town... Town... TOWN PORTAL!"
"... uh... huh... cough-cough"
I searched my belt. "I don't have one!"
"Here... you... go... cough" Seztarám said with increasing difficulty, whilst handing over a rolled up scroll, which was covered in nose-blood and tied up with a blue ribbon.
"Why didn't you use it you moron!?"
"I cant... bloody... ... ... read it... ... ... CAN I? Hur... hurry...." There was an unusually long pause. Seztarám's voice became rather quiet, so quiet in fact, that I couldn't hear him declare: "Um.... Sacre... S... ....!"
"Your lazy, that's your problem! Seztarám, your knots are hopeless!" I said with my back to him, desperately fiddling around with the ribbon.
"... Sac...! Sacre...!"
"Seztarám you buffoon! Why did you have to tie the ribbon on so bloody tight!?"
"... Sacre... help...!"
"Bloody idiot. Here I am, stuck in the middle of an army of zombies, with an evil undead, scary voiced mistress, waiting to kill me and I cant even open a ruddy town portal scroll."
"Sacre... y... idi... help!"
"Aha, dunnit!" Quickly, I read the scroll and a blue portal opened in front of me. "Come on Seztarám, lets go. Seztarám? Come on!" I looked round. "Seztarám? Uh oh!" All I could see was Seztarám's arm flailing madly from under a huge pile of bloodthirsty zombies. "Oh damn! Get off him!" I booted them, pulled them and strangled them off of him, before dragging him out of danger... again. I then threw him through the portal, shook of a skeleton that had clenched onto my left arm and basically fell through the portal myself. Just before the graveyard vanished before me and I re-appeared in the encampment, I noticed that a human corpse was dangling from the tree that was directly in the middle of the yard. What interested me most was the object that the rotting man was grasping in his hands.