Dawn of the next day came early for the Gryffindors. The girls had a
sleepless night of guilt and worry, tinged by paranoia, and the first year
guys had a lot of planning to do. Revenge was in order, of course, and not
only that. A plan was needed to show the Gryffindors that Sirius and James
*weren't* the pricks Cleo had made them believe that they were.
"I'm pretty sure the Howler from my dear ol' mum will take care of our reputations, Jimmy," Sirius said thoughtfully as they headed down for breakfast the next morning. "She's sure to leave no doubt that what I told the girls yesterday was true."
"You think she'll send a Howler?" James asked dubiously. "Wouldn't that ruin the Black image?"
Sirius frowned. "Probably. But I don't think she really cares at this point. No one important is at Hogwarts anyway."
"True," James allowed, inwardly marveling at the infamous Mrs. Black. He had never met her, but had heard enough about her to make his skin crawl. Creepy women. Creepy family, for that matter.
James sent Sirius a sideways look and Sirius grinned back. "What?"
James just laughed. "I'm amazed you're as normal as you are, Sirius."
Sirius chuckled. "If I'm what you call normal, I'd hate to hear what you call Evans."
James immediately scowled. "You *don't* want to know."
The two arrived at the Great Hall, walking over to Remus and Peter who were sitting down, talking, having arrived before the dynamic duo.
"Mails here," Sirius said causally as the two pulled out their chairs, but James saw him tense and frowned, his eyes spotting Sirius's black owl eagle soaring in amongst the rest. At the other end of the table, Remus saw Lily's eyes narrow and fasten in on the four Gryffindor boys. (Frank was, once again, with the Hufflepuffs.) "So, Remmy, did you hear Sirius's idea to clean out the dungeons?" James said, determined to start a conversation.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "You're cleaning the dungeons?"
Sirius grinned. "No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. The hurricane we're letting loose in Perkin's classroom is cleaning the dungeon. We're just...helping it a long?"
Peter choked on his pumpkin juice. "Sorry," he said, wiping his mouth on his leave. "But we're doing *what*?!"
"Is it even possible to let a hurricane loose in the dungeons?" Lupin said wonderingly. "Maybe?" James said with a grin. "If anyone can manage it, we can," Sirius said confidently, his eyes still glued to his owl. It soared towards him, and unsurprisingly, dropped a smoking envelope into his lap. Sirius frowned grimly.
"Well, that's a surprise." He said into the silence that followed. "Just open it, mate." James advised softly. As an afterthought he added, "And run."
Sirius shook his head, his tone mockingly calm. "Oh, no. The girls wanted to hear it, I'd hate to deny them the opportunity. Oh, Lily darling!"
Lily turned around, her face scornful. "What is it, Black?" she snapped.
"I just thought I'd show you -- the letter from my dear mum has arrived!" Smiling serenely, he held up the Howler which was now smoking menacingly.
Lily's mouth dropped open, as did her friends. Their eyes were fixed on the smoking Howler and Cleo finally said in a whisper, "Are you going to open it?"
"No. He's going to eat it," James retorted, rolling his eyes. Cleo flushed.
With a sigh, Sirius held the letter out in front of him. "Here goes," he whispered, and flipped the top open. At once, it sprung into the air, and Mrs. Black's voice, magnified a hundred times, filled the room. But unlike any other Howlers James and Remus had ever heard, or seen, Mrs. Black's voice was brusque and even, not screaming itself hoarse with fury, or disappointment. And as James slowly sat back and listened, he realized that was what hurt the worst. As he watched Sirius's reaction, he knew..it wasn't the biting words or the clipped tone...it was the cold indifference in her voice. She truly didn't care.
"...I can hardly say that I'm surprised, " the Howler was hissing at Sirius. "I knew it all along that I had a failure in you, Sirius Black. Why couldn't you be more like Regulus? I have no doubt he'll make it into Slytherin. But not you. No, you have to go into Gryffindor, I ask you... You are a Black, are you not? The same blood that runs in my veins runs in yours? The same lessons I have been taught, you have learned? You are a Black, Sirius. Accept it and stop fooling yourself with this Gryffindor nonsense. You are a failure to the family as I am sure you well know. I hear Narcissa managed to make Slytherin."
The whole Hall had quieted as Mrs. Black's voice continued, and over at the Slytherin table, Narcissa smiled smugly. James noticed disgustedly that Malfoy and Snape were doing there impressions of smiling proudly at her. He rolled his eyes, glaring at them.
Remus glanced over worriedly at Sirius, whose face had remained in a twisted smile as his mother's voice continued to mock him. His face wasn't slightly flushed at all; he wasn't embarrassed...judging from the odd gleam in his eyes, Remus would say he was...proud...
"Are you that unworthy of Slytherin that even your blood could not carry you in?" Mrs. Black continued, snapping. "And how dare you wait this long to tell us. It's cowardly. I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave..brave, muggle-loving, mudblood fools who are to weak to recognize power and honor for what they truly are! I shudder to find myself with a son who is counted among them. There will be no further need for correspondence with us until June. Stay with your mudblood friends at Hogwarts for the holidays. Your Aunt Andromeda sends her love. Goodbye."
The Howler ended abruptly, curling up into flames and scattering into ashes on the table. Sirius smirked and leaned down and blew hard, so that the ashes scattered onto the floor, before reaching for some more pumpkin juice and a biscuit.
"Sirius, are you--" James and Remus began in unison, but Sirus's waved them away. "I'm fine," he insisted, smiling. "I'm just realizing how great it is that I am no longer there, with *her*. That I'm here, where not even her Howlers can bother me."
James grinned. "Plus, you have us here."
Sirius pretended to consider this. "Well, yes I guess that is a minor down point, but I'm learning to live with it."
James smacked him upside the head as Sirius laughed, but a sudden tap on his shoulder sent him spinning around. "Evans?" he exclaimed in surprise, but his eyes narrowed. "What do you want--"
"We just wanted to say we're sorry. We really overreacted and you were right, you were telling the truth. And well--" the last bit seemed to cause her a great deal of effort to say, but eventually she forced it past her chewed lips. "We're glad you're in Gryffindor." She shot James a dirty look, as Laurel nudged her firmly before adding lamely, "that goes for you too Potter."
Sirius considered this for a moment, making eye contact with Remus and James before nodding. "That's nice. Okay, kiddies, time for class!"
Standing up and shoving a piece of toast into his mouth, with a smirk, he, James and Remus headed out of the Great Hall.
"Wait a moment, that's it?" Lily exclaimed as they walked away. "No heartfelt thank you, even? Just a 'that's nice'?"
Sirius threw her a glance over his shoulder and shrugged. "Yep."
There was a dull shocked silence after his response, suddenly broken by Lily's hysterically paranoid shrieking, "SIRIUS BLACK, YOU EGOTISITICAL GIT! WE APOLOGIZED! YOU CANT PRANK US AFTER WE APOLOGIZED, YOU JUST CANT!"
Sirius just grinned.
"So, anyway," he said to Remus, ignoring Lily's continuous shrieks that followed them down the staircases, "I was thinking we get Moaning Myrtle to clog the plumbing for us--"
"Moaning Myrtle?" Remus asked, confused. "Who in Merlin's name is Moaning Myrtle?"
"The ghost who haunts the girl's bathroom. She's quite nice, actually, once you get her to stop blubbering about some poor fool named Oliver Cornby. Or was it Cronby? Well, it doesn't matter. Anyway, once that's done, when the rain starts to pour, it should flood within the hour--"
"Why," Peter said slowly, "Were you in the girl's bathroom?"
James chuckled and Sirius just shook his head, clapping his hand on Peter's shoulder, feeling oddly free. "Trust me," Sirius said slowly as they worked their way down towards the Professor Flitwick's classroom for Charms with the Hufflepuffs, "you don't wanna know."
--------------
"And it's swish and flick, students, remember, swish and flick!" tiny little Professor Flitwick urged from his perch atop several heavy textbooks thrown haphazardly onto a chair. "And don't forget the pronunciation, students!"
James frowned, holding his wand out in front of him. With a swish, and a flick, he said clearly, "Wingardium Levosia!" The feather in front of him slowly, with the prompting of his wand, levitated in midair. Flitwick beamed. "See here now, Mr. Potter's done it! Well done, Mr. Potter, 5 points to Gryffindor."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Show off," he muttered as his feather slowly rose into the air. "Well done, Mr. Black!" Flitwick squeaked. "And Miss Evans!" he added as Lily's feather rose as well. "Well, come now, the rest of you!" he called turning to encourage the rest of the class.
Remus frowned, prodding his feather with his wand. "Get--up--you--stupid--" he muttered between gritted teeth, his frustration at his not being able to perform the spell irking him while James and Sirius's feathers floated above his head.
James grinned. "Come on now, Remmy, careful or you'll set your feather on-- "
"Fire," Peter finished glumly as he regarded the flaming feather in front of him, raising his seared eyebrows. "Er, Professor! I think I need the hospital wing!"
Flitwick raised his bushy eyebrows. "Nonsense, Pettigew. Just a simple extinguishing charm--" water spouted out of his wand and quickly put the fire out" -- and you're good as new!"
"And my eyebrows, sir?"
Flitwick frowned. "Occupational hazard, I'm afraid. They'll grow back."
Peter groaned.
"And it's swish, and flick..no, Remus, your flicking and then swishing. *Swish*, right there you go. And flick...and tada! Magic!" James prompted as Remus's feather finally floated over their heads.
Meanwhile, Sirius's brow was furrowed in thought. "Professor," he called out. "Does this spell work on levitating heavier objects as well?"
Flitwick nodded. "Certainly," he yelped. "How else do you think those huge pumpkins have gotten into the Great Hall?"
Sirius grinned, pointing his wand nonchalantly at Peter. "So if I were do to this...Wingardium Levosia!"
Peter, with a look of horror on his face, floated into midair. "Sirius stop it! I hate heights! Sirius, you let me down NOW!"
But Sirius was too busy waving his wand about like a conductor, spinning and twirling. And as his wand moved, Peter moved, dancing about, floating higher and higher and then so low that his feet brushed the floor, only to have his head bang the ceiling once more.
"Mr. Black! Put him down at once!" Flitwick screeched, quite startled. "5 points from Gryffindor!"
"Aw, alright, sir." Sirius said reluctantly, easing Peter back to the floor. As soon as his feet touched the floor, Peter lunged at Sirius, grabbing him around the collar and messing up his hair.
"My hair!" Sirius moaned, shocked that Peter would retaliate.
"Mr. Pettigrew!" Flitwick exclaimed in outraged shock. "That is quite enough!"
"Yes, sir." Peter agreed docilely and sat back down. Sirius glared.
The bell rang, and Flitwick rolled his eyes. "Well, yes, I hope the rest of the class managed the spell well enough and we're not all watching Mr. Black's little show--"
The class snickered as they headed out the door.
"...and just to be sure, we'll have a quiz tomorrow!"
The class groaned.
"Good one, Black," Lily huffed as she and her friends stormed past. "Oh, shove it, Evans." Sirius called back, yawning widely.
--------
"Good morning, Professor McGonagall," James and Sirius said sunnily in unison as they entered the class. "What are you up too now?" She asked, instantly suspicious. Sirius shot her a mournful look. "Professor! Can't we even say good morning to you without ulterior motives?"
She considered this for a moment before answering dryly, "No. Sit down."
James shrugged, shouldered his bag, and Sirius sighed. "Everyone around this place is entirely too suspicious," he complained as they grabbed their seats in the back of the class.
"Completely," James agreed, taking out a dung bomb and angling it under his desk.
"I mean, what have we ever done to deserve this?"
Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius grabbed a Filbuster Firework, aiming straight for Malfoy's behind.
"Would you like a list?" he asked, but he was grinning. James shook his head. "I mean, its not what we've done.."
"But what we're going to do," Sirius finished logically as James added, "That's what's got them quivering in their boots."
"And with good reason," Peter said, his eyes wide.
"Sirius, you're angling the blasted thing too far to the left," Remus told him out of the corner of his mouth. Sirius grinned, clapping Lupin on the back. "And this is why we love you, Remus," he said quite simply as he made the proper adjustments.
Remus shook his head.
"Now," Professor McGonagall began sternly, "today is a very important lesson, so no foolishness--" James and Sirius grinned and Remus just smirked "--we are learning to turn a toothpick into a needle. Now, if you'll just look up on the board..."
"Ready?" Sirius asked with a devilish grin. James nodded, smirking. With a 'ompfh,' he tossed the dungbomb into the middle of the classroom. It exploded on impact, letting loose a horrible smell of rotting dung, as well as a huge dust cloud that hide the classroom from view for a moment.
James hurriedly threw the rest of his fireworks and dungbombs onto the table, nodding at Remus. "Now," he urged. Remus sighed. "Wingardium Levoisa," he muttered, and the group of fireworks and bombs floated slowly in the air, with a flick and a swish, covered by the dung bomb dust, they slowly dropped into Lucius Malfoy's open bag.
The dust cleared. Professor McGongall looked outraged. "You--" she sputtered, pointing at the very last row, where Sirius, James, Peter and Remus sat. The Slytherins sniggered but Sirius shook his head. "It wasn't us, Professor, honest!"
"Turn out your bags, you four," she said firmly, tension on every line of her face. Very obediently, the four boys did so. The worse thing there was a grilled cheese Peter had been carrying around since last week. McGonagall looked shocked. Turning to the rest of the class, she began, "When I find out who did this--"
Sirius muttered, "Diffindo!"
And Malfoy's bag split at the seam, its contents pouring into the middle isle, right at McGonagall's feet. "Malfoy!" she shrieked. "You!"
Malfoy looked shocked, staring at the dung bombs on the floor, then back at McGonagall's thunderous expression, then back to his bag. "Professor, I didn't--" he began wildly, but McGonagall shook her head. "No excuses! 30 points from Slytherin and detention tonight! 5 o clock, Mr. Malfoy, do not be late!"
Malfoy's face burned. The boys in the back row chuckled.
-----
"I'd say the day was quite productive," Sirius said later as they walked out of their last class. "Considering Malfoy has detention tonight and we don't-- well, I'd agree." James said thoughtfully.
Remus chuckled. "The look on McGonagall's face..." he said, trailing into thought.
"Priceless," Peter agreed.
"Password?" the Fat lady asked loftily. The boys started, having not realized they were already back at the Portrait hole. "Er--balderdash," Remus replied, and she swung open. They clamored in, still in their discussion about Malfoy. "I say, next time we get Snape, the greasy git--" James was saying, but he stopped suddenly.
The Common Room had several people in it, due to the rain that was fiercely pounding against the window. Dark clouds raged outside the thick class, and lightening split the class, silhouetting a single shape as it rammed again and again into the window.
"What is that?" Remus asked bewildered. "I think its...yeah, it is!" James said, as he opened the window, grabbing the tiny owl and bringing it inside. A burst of cold air came with the open window and several students glared, but he paid them no attention. "Whose that?" Peter asked curiously at the tiny screech owl James held in his hand. "It's my dad's," James explained. "I wonder why he didn't come with the morning mail though."
"He's got a package," Sirius noticed as they moved towards the fire. "Open it, let's see."
"It's got a letter too," Remus interrupted. "Open that first."
"Alright," James agreed reaching for the envelope and package. As he removed it from the owl's outstretched leg, Courage quickly took flight again, this time heading to the Owlery.
"Dear James," James read aloud in a soft voice. "Enclosed in the package is something my father passed down to me. It's very special, and I don't doubt you'll make good use of it. Don't open it where others can see -- this might be one secret you'll want to keep. That's why I've sent this at evening post rather then with the morning flurry. Use it well,
Dad"
"What do you suppose it is?" Sirius asked, his voice half hushed.
"I dunno," James said quietly. "Let's go up to the dorm and see."
The four boys hurried up the stairs, clamoring to open the package. When the door shut, James tore into it.
A silvery cloak, light to the touch and yet large in size, fell to his feet.
"Blimey," Sirius whispered.
"Woah," Peter echoed.
"Wicked," Remus added, his voice, like the others, hushed in awe.
"What is it?" James asked bluntly, his brow furrowed.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "James, m'boy...this is the answer to all your pranking needs."
"They're really rare though," Remus said wonderingly. "I've only read about them."
"What haven't you read about, Lupin," James said, scratching his head. "Put -- what is it?"
"Put it on," Sirius urged, and with a shrug, James did.
"AWESOME!" Sirius burst out, grinning. "Can I fit under it too?"
"What??" James asked bewildered. "Look in the mirror," Remus urged, grinning.
James glanced in the mirror, looked away, then paused. Slowly, he looked again. "You guys," he said slowly, "why can't I see myself?"
"It's an invisibility cloak!" Remus told him, beaming. Sirius was nearly jumping up and down from excitement. "Look its big enough to cover all four of us!"
"Woah," James said, his voice hushed with awe as he threw it over all four of them.
"This," James said softly, still staring at himself transfixed in the mirror, "is the best gift *ever*."
---------------------------
"Ouch, Black that was my toe--"
"Peter, get your hand out of my pocket, I don't swing that way--"
"I didn't know that was your pocket, I thought it was Remus's--"
"Why do you wanna be in *my* pockets, Pettigrew?"
"James, please tell me that's your leg--"
"QUIET!" James hissed. It was midnight, of the same day, and the four boys were out trying their first escapade with James's new cloak, which suddenly seemed a lot smaller as they all tried to walk under it at the same time. Thunder still cackled from the storm outside, and though Sirius insisted that they head to the Qudditch pitch and try to transfigure the entire hurricane into a rock, Remus argued logically that they still didn't know if it was possible, and anyway, there were bound to be more storms, this was England, after all. Sirius had to agree at that.
But now, their footsteps echoed eerily as the four made their way down the moonlight passage way. Two luminous eyes gleamed in the darkness ahead of them, and Remus caught his breath as Peter hissed what they were all thinking: "Does the cloak work on cats? It's Mrs. Norris!"
Sirius growled low in his throat as he answered in a undertone, "If she ruins this for us I will personally make sure she regrets it."
"Shut up!" James whispered frantically. But to their immense relief, the yellow eyes blinked once before slinking off into the shadows.
"She's gone," Remus announced unnecessarily. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Nothing gets passed you, Rem."
"So now where too?" James asked in a whisper. "Well, we still need to plan our revenge," Sirius reminded him and James nodded thoughtfully. "Yea, we do...but I was thinking...we should hold off on that for a day or two."
"What? WHY?!" Sirius exclaimed, outraged.
"It's more use that way! Think about it! They're completely paranoid...every time we say *boo* they shriek! Why relinquish that power so quickly? They'll all have ulcers before we even do anything!"
"Potter, I think you may be on to something," Remus said thoughtfully. "That way, when we do get them, it's like a double whammy."
Peter chuckled. "Whammy, I like that word."
They all shot him sideways looks. "Right Pete."
"How 'bout we try and find the kitchens?" James suggested. "I know they must be around here somewhere, and I'm hungry."
"You're always hungry," Remus said with an air of disgust.
Sirius smirked. "This is true. But come on, I think I heard some students talking about how it's behind some statue..?" He paused. "Or maybe they said painting."
"Sirius," James said patiently as they continued down the corridor. "There are about 50 billion statues in this school."
"James," Sirius said, just as patiently, "We have all night."
And with a sigh, they agreed. Urged on by the rumbling of James's stomach, they tapped, prodded and pushed everything in sight. Finally, as the hour edged towards three, Remus yawned. "I think we should give up for tonight guys," he said reluctantly. "We still haven't found anything."
"Hang on a minute," James said, paused. "I think I found something."
He had paused besides a statue of an old, humped witch. He frowned. "Doesn't this statue seem too protrude into the aisle a little?"
Remus frowned, and cocked his head to the side, studying it. "Now that you mention it, it does."
Peter shook his head. "I don't see it," he whined. He was tired, hungry and cold. He was beginning to wish he had his slippers. The fluffy ones.
"Try something," Remus urged and with a shrug, James slipped out of the cloak and leaned all his weight against the witch. Nothing.
"Help me, Black," James panted as he continued to struggle. Both boys pushed and shoved for a good ten minutes, but nothing happened. "Maybe you need to use magic."
"Okay then, but what spell?"
"Maybe it's locked," Remus suggested, pulling out his wand. "Ahlohamora!" But nothing happened.
"Stupid thing," James muttered, kicking the witch, then immediately wincing. "Ouch, not smart."
Sirius's eyes lit up. "Pete," he said slowly. "You know that spell you used on us before?"
"With the whipped cream?"
"Yeah. What exactly did it do?"
"It separates things."
"Like whip cream from faces.." Remus continued and Sirius smiled. "And statues from walls."
Peter frowned, puzzled. "What do you--"
"Oh, never mind." Sirius said, impatiently, pushing him aside to stand directly in front of the witch. "How did it go again? Oh yes--" he cleared his throat. "Dissendium!"
The witch slowly edged forward, spinning on its axes, revealing a hole large enough to admit a fairly thin person. The four boys stared at it.
"Woah." James muttered.
"Ditto."
--------------------------
About a half hour later though, after they had slid into the witch's tunnel and continued walking down the damp, dark, passage way, rather like something had burrowed in it, they were beginning to feel slightly less awe inspired.
"Whose stupid idea was this anyway?" Peter grumbled.
"Sirius's," answered James, who had taken the cloak off since it was no longer needed and was carrying it over his arm.
"How much further do you think this goes?"
"Who knows?" Sirius answered with a shrug. "For that matter, who knows where it goes?"
"I thought we were going to the kitchens!" Peter exclaimed.
"We *were*, mate," Sirius said slowly. "Before we found this tunnel. I doubt the kitchens are this far away."
"Well, where is this tunnel going?"
"I don't know, Pettigrew, do I look like a walking map?"
"That's what we need," Remus said suddenly. "A map."
James rolled his eyes. "Let's figure out where we're going first. *Then* we can make a map, okay?"
"Do you think this tunnel ever ends?"
"Sure." Sirius said reassuringly.
"Well, *where* do you think it is?"
"Once again, Pettigrew I am not a map."
"Hey..look..stairs," James said suddenly, as the tunnel came to an abrupt halt. All four boys in unison raised their heads to follow the stairs with their eyes out of sight.
"Should we follow it?" Remus asked uncertainly. James grinned. "Well, we've come this far, haven't we?"
"Yeah, but maybe we should do this on a different night..." Remus said uneasily and Peter nodded in agreement. "I mean, we know this is here now and what if we get caught? It's really late, almost 3 o clock."
"What if we get caught?" Peter said hesitantly. At once, James rolled his eyes. "Scaredy cats," he taunted. Turning to Sirius, he grinned. "You're with me, aren't you?"
Sirius stared for a moment, his eyes on the stairs, and then he chuckled. "DO you have to ask? Race you to the top."
Both boys sprinted up, climbing the stairs eagerly. Sharing a look of resigned fate, Peter and Remus followed much more slowly.
A few minutes, and a lot of stairs later, they heard a dull thud. "Ow," James said, rubbing his sore head. "Aw, did Jamsie-poo hit his head?" Sirius taunted. "Shut up Black. I beat you to the top, didn't i?"
Sirius considered this. "I let you win."
"You did not."
"Did too."
"Did not. You're just mad because I'm quicker then you."
"You wish you were Potter."
"I could take you anytime, anywhere."
"Oh yeah? You wanna go now--"
"GUYS!" Remus exclaimed, and James and Sirius looked up. "What?" Sirius said innocently.
"Could we open the door?"
"Right," James said, coming back to his sense, glancing up at the trap door above him. He took a breath. "Here goes nothing," he muttered quietly.
With a shove, the door fell back against the dusty floor, letting a wave of dust spray into the air.
"Hand me the cloak," James hissed and Remus, who had grabbed it when it fell of James's shoulders when he began his sprint up the stairs, passed it up, his face anxious.
James tossed it over his shoulders, as he raised himself out of the trap door, quiet as a mouse.
"What is it?" Sirius whispered frantically. "Are we still on school grounds?" Remus asked anxiously. "Is it the kitchens?" Peter wanted to know.
James pulled the cloak back so that only his face was visible, turning in slow circles, taking in everything with widened eyes. "Boys," he said very seriously, his voice low, a slow ecstatic grin working it's way across his face. "We've arrived in heaven. It's Honeydukes."
"I'm pretty sure the Howler from my dear ol' mum will take care of our reputations, Jimmy," Sirius said thoughtfully as they headed down for breakfast the next morning. "She's sure to leave no doubt that what I told the girls yesterday was true."
"You think she'll send a Howler?" James asked dubiously. "Wouldn't that ruin the Black image?"
Sirius frowned. "Probably. But I don't think she really cares at this point. No one important is at Hogwarts anyway."
"True," James allowed, inwardly marveling at the infamous Mrs. Black. He had never met her, but had heard enough about her to make his skin crawl. Creepy women. Creepy family, for that matter.
James sent Sirius a sideways look and Sirius grinned back. "What?"
James just laughed. "I'm amazed you're as normal as you are, Sirius."
Sirius chuckled. "If I'm what you call normal, I'd hate to hear what you call Evans."
James immediately scowled. "You *don't* want to know."
The two arrived at the Great Hall, walking over to Remus and Peter who were sitting down, talking, having arrived before the dynamic duo.
"Mails here," Sirius said causally as the two pulled out their chairs, but James saw him tense and frowned, his eyes spotting Sirius's black owl eagle soaring in amongst the rest. At the other end of the table, Remus saw Lily's eyes narrow and fasten in on the four Gryffindor boys. (Frank was, once again, with the Hufflepuffs.) "So, Remmy, did you hear Sirius's idea to clean out the dungeons?" James said, determined to start a conversation.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "You're cleaning the dungeons?"
Sirius grinned. "No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. The hurricane we're letting loose in Perkin's classroom is cleaning the dungeon. We're just...helping it a long?"
Peter choked on his pumpkin juice. "Sorry," he said, wiping his mouth on his leave. "But we're doing *what*?!"
"Is it even possible to let a hurricane loose in the dungeons?" Lupin said wonderingly. "Maybe?" James said with a grin. "If anyone can manage it, we can," Sirius said confidently, his eyes still glued to his owl. It soared towards him, and unsurprisingly, dropped a smoking envelope into his lap. Sirius frowned grimly.
"Well, that's a surprise." He said into the silence that followed. "Just open it, mate." James advised softly. As an afterthought he added, "And run."
Sirius shook his head, his tone mockingly calm. "Oh, no. The girls wanted to hear it, I'd hate to deny them the opportunity. Oh, Lily darling!"
Lily turned around, her face scornful. "What is it, Black?" she snapped.
"I just thought I'd show you -- the letter from my dear mum has arrived!" Smiling serenely, he held up the Howler which was now smoking menacingly.
Lily's mouth dropped open, as did her friends. Their eyes were fixed on the smoking Howler and Cleo finally said in a whisper, "Are you going to open it?"
"No. He's going to eat it," James retorted, rolling his eyes. Cleo flushed.
With a sigh, Sirius held the letter out in front of him. "Here goes," he whispered, and flipped the top open. At once, it sprung into the air, and Mrs. Black's voice, magnified a hundred times, filled the room. But unlike any other Howlers James and Remus had ever heard, or seen, Mrs. Black's voice was brusque and even, not screaming itself hoarse with fury, or disappointment. And as James slowly sat back and listened, he realized that was what hurt the worst. As he watched Sirius's reaction, he knew..it wasn't the biting words or the clipped tone...it was the cold indifference in her voice. She truly didn't care.
"...I can hardly say that I'm surprised, " the Howler was hissing at Sirius. "I knew it all along that I had a failure in you, Sirius Black. Why couldn't you be more like Regulus? I have no doubt he'll make it into Slytherin. But not you. No, you have to go into Gryffindor, I ask you... You are a Black, are you not? The same blood that runs in my veins runs in yours? The same lessons I have been taught, you have learned? You are a Black, Sirius. Accept it and stop fooling yourself with this Gryffindor nonsense. You are a failure to the family as I am sure you well know. I hear Narcissa managed to make Slytherin."
The whole Hall had quieted as Mrs. Black's voice continued, and over at the Slytherin table, Narcissa smiled smugly. James noticed disgustedly that Malfoy and Snape were doing there impressions of smiling proudly at her. He rolled his eyes, glaring at them.
Remus glanced over worriedly at Sirius, whose face had remained in a twisted smile as his mother's voice continued to mock him. His face wasn't slightly flushed at all; he wasn't embarrassed...judging from the odd gleam in his eyes, Remus would say he was...proud...
"Are you that unworthy of Slytherin that even your blood could not carry you in?" Mrs. Black continued, snapping. "And how dare you wait this long to tell us. It's cowardly. I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave..brave, muggle-loving, mudblood fools who are to weak to recognize power and honor for what they truly are! I shudder to find myself with a son who is counted among them. There will be no further need for correspondence with us until June. Stay with your mudblood friends at Hogwarts for the holidays. Your Aunt Andromeda sends her love. Goodbye."
The Howler ended abruptly, curling up into flames and scattering into ashes on the table. Sirius smirked and leaned down and blew hard, so that the ashes scattered onto the floor, before reaching for some more pumpkin juice and a biscuit.
"Sirius, are you--" James and Remus began in unison, but Sirus's waved them away. "I'm fine," he insisted, smiling. "I'm just realizing how great it is that I am no longer there, with *her*. That I'm here, where not even her Howlers can bother me."
James grinned. "Plus, you have us here."
Sirius pretended to consider this. "Well, yes I guess that is a minor down point, but I'm learning to live with it."
James smacked him upside the head as Sirius laughed, but a sudden tap on his shoulder sent him spinning around. "Evans?" he exclaimed in surprise, but his eyes narrowed. "What do you want--"
"We just wanted to say we're sorry. We really overreacted and you were right, you were telling the truth. And well--" the last bit seemed to cause her a great deal of effort to say, but eventually she forced it past her chewed lips. "We're glad you're in Gryffindor." She shot James a dirty look, as Laurel nudged her firmly before adding lamely, "that goes for you too Potter."
Sirius considered this for a moment, making eye contact with Remus and James before nodding. "That's nice. Okay, kiddies, time for class!"
Standing up and shoving a piece of toast into his mouth, with a smirk, he, James and Remus headed out of the Great Hall.
"Wait a moment, that's it?" Lily exclaimed as they walked away. "No heartfelt thank you, even? Just a 'that's nice'?"
Sirius threw her a glance over his shoulder and shrugged. "Yep."
There was a dull shocked silence after his response, suddenly broken by Lily's hysterically paranoid shrieking, "SIRIUS BLACK, YOU EGOTISITICAL GIT! WE APOLOGIZED! YOU CANT PRANK US AFTER WE APOLOGIZED, YOU JUST CANT!"
Sirius just grinned.
"So, anyway," he said to Remus, ignoring Lily's continuous shrieks that followed them down the staircases, "I was thinking we get Moaning Myrtle to clog the plumbing for us--"
"Moaning Myrtle?" Remus asked, confused. "Who in Merlin's name is Moaning Myrtle?"
"The ghost who haunts the girl's bathroom. She's quite nice, actually, once you get her to stop blubbering about some poor fool named Oliver Cornby. Or was it Cronby? Well, it doesn't matter. Anyway, once that's done, when the rain starts to pour, it should flood within the hour--"
"Why," Peter said slowly, "Were you in the girl's bathroom?"
James chuckled and Sirius just shook his head, clapping his hand on Peter's shoulder, feeling oddly free. "Trust me," Sirius said slowly as they worked their way down towards the Professor Flitwick's classroom for Charms with the Hufflepuffs, "you don't wanna know."
--------------
"And it's swish and flick, students, remember, swish and flick!" tiny little Professor Flitwick urged from his perch atop several heavy textbooks thrown haphazardly onto a chair. "And don't forget the pronunciation, students!"
James frowned, holding his wand out in front of him. With a swish, and a flick, he said clearly, "Wingardium Levosia!" The feather in front of him slowly, with the prompting of his wand, levitated in midair. Flitwick beamed. "See here now, Mr. Potter's done it! Well done, Mr. Potter, 5 points to Gryffindor."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Show off," he muttered as his feather slowly rose into the air. "Well done, Mr. Black!" Flitwick squeaked. "And Miss Evans!" he added as Lily's feather rose as well. "Well, come now, the rest of you!" he called turning to encourage the rest of the class.
Remus frowned, prodding his feather with his wand. "Get--up--you--stupid--" he muttered between gritted teeth, his frustration at his not being able to perform the spell irking him while James and Sirius's feathers floated above his head.
James grinned. "Come on now, Remmy, careful or you'll set your feather on-- "
"Fire," Peter finished glumly as he regarded the flaming feather in front of him, raising his seared eyebrows. "Er, Professor! I think I need the hospital wing!"
Flitwick raised his bushy eyebrows. "Nonsense, Pettigew. Just a simple extinguishing charm--" water spouted out of his wand and quickly put the fire out" -- and you're good as new!"
"And my eyebrows, sir?"
Flitwick frowned. "Occupational hazard, I'm afraid. They'll grow back."
Peter groaned.
"And it's swish, and flick..no, Remus, your flicking and then swishing. *Swish*, right there you go. And flick...and tada! Magic!" James prompted as Remus's feather finally floated over their heads.
Meanwhile, Sirius's brow was furrowed in thought. "Professor," he called out. "Does this spell work on levitating heavier objects as well?"
Flitwick nodded. "Certainly," he yelped. "How else do you think those huge pumpkins have gotten into the Great Hall?"
Sirius grinned, pointing his wand nonchalantly at Peter. "So if I were do to this...Wingardium Levosia!"
Peter, with a look of horror on his face, floated into midair. "Sirius stop it! I hate heights! Sirius, you let me down NOW!"
But Sirius was too busy waving his wand about like a conductor, spinning and twirling. And as his wand moved, Peter moved, dancing about, floating higher and higher and then so low that his feet brushed the floor, only to have his head bang the ceiling once more.
"Mr. Black! Put him down at once!" Flitwick screeched, quite startled. "5 points from Gryffindor!"
"Aw, alright, sir." Sirius said reluctantly, easing Peter back to the floor. As soon as his feet touched the floor, Peter lunged at Sirius, grabbing him around the collar and messing up his hair.
"My hair!" Sirius moaned, shocked that Peter would retaliate.
"Mr. Pettigrew!" Flitwick exclaimed in outraged shock. "That is quite enough!"
"Yes, sir." Peter agreed docilely and sat back down. Sirius glared.
The bell rang, and Flitwick rolled his eyes. "Well, yes, I hope the rest of the class managed the spell well enough and we're not all watching Mr. Black's little show--"
The class snickered as they headed out the door.
"...and just to be sure, we'll have a quiz tomorrow!"
The class groaned.
"Good one, Black," Lily huffed as she and her friends stormed past. "Oh, shove it, Evans." Sirius called back, yawning widely.
--------
"Good morning, Professor McGonagall," James and Sirius said sunnily in unison as they entered the class. "What are you up too now?" She asked, instantly suspicious. Sirius shot her a mournful look. "Professor! Can't we even say good morning to you without ulterior motives?"
She considered this for a moment before answering dryly, "No. Sit down."
James shrugged, shouldered his bag, and Sirius sighed. "Everyone around this place is entirely too suspicious," he complained as they grabbed their seats in the back of the class.
"Completely," James agreed, taking out a dung bomb and angling it under his desk.
"I mean, what have we ever done to deserve this?"
Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius grabbed a Filbuster Firework, aiming straight for Malfoy's behind.
"Would you like a list?" he asked, but he was grinning. James shook his head. "I mean, its not what we've done.."
"But what we're going to do," Sirius finished logically as James added, "That's what's got them quivering in their boots."
"And with good reason," Peter said, his eyes wide.
"Sirius, you're angling the blasted thing too far to the left," Remus told him out of the corner of his mouth. Sirius grinned, clapping Lupin on the back. "And this is why we love you, Remus," he said quite simply as he made the proper adjustments.
Remus shook his head.
"Now," Professor McGonagall began sternly, "today is a very important lesson, so no foolishness--" James and Sirius grinned and Remus just smirked "--we are learning to turn a toothpick into a needle. Now, if you'll just look up on the board..."
"Ready?" Sirius asked with a devilish grin. James nodded, smirking. With a 'ompfh,' he tossed the dungbomb into the middle of the classroom. It exploded on impact, letting loose a horrible smell of rotting dung, as well as a huge dust cloud that hide the classroom from view for a moment.
James hurriedly threw the rest of his fireworks and dungbombs onto the table, nodding at Remus. "Now," he urged. Remus sighed. "Wingardium Levoisa," he muttered, and the group of fireworks and bombs floated slowly in the air, with a flick and a swish, covered by the dung bomb dust, they slowly dropped into Lucius Malfoy's open bag.
The dust cleared. Professor McGongall looked outraged. "You--" she sputtered, pointing at the very last row, where Sirius, James, Peter and Remus sat. The Slytherins sniggered but Sirius shook his head. "It wasn't us, Professor, honest!"
"Turn out your bags, you four," she said firmly, tension on every line of her face. Very obediently, the four boys did so. The worse thing there was a grilled cheese Peter had been carrying around since last week. McGonagall looked shocked. Turning to the rest of the class, she began, "When I find out who did this--"
Sirius muttered, "Diffindo!"
And Malfoy's bag split at the seam, its contents pouring into the middle isle, right at McGonagall's feet. "Malfoy!" she shrieked. "You!"
Malfoy looked shocked, staring at the dung bombs on the floor, then back at McGonagall's thunderous expression, then back to his bag. "Professor, I didn't--" he began wildly, but McGonagall shook her head. "No excuses! 30 points from Slytherin and detention tonight! 5 o clock, Mr. Malfoy, do not be late!"
Malfoy's face burned. The boys in the back row chuckled.
-----
"I'd say the day was quite productive," Sirius said later as they walked out of their last class. "Considering Malfoy has detention tonight and we don't-- well, I'd agree." James said thoughtfully.
Remus chuckled. "The look on McGonagall's face..." he said, trailing into thought.
"Priceless," Peter agreed.
"Password?" the Fat lady asked loftily. The boys started, having not realized they were already back at the Portrait hole. "Er--balderdash," Remus replied, and she swung open. They clamored in, still in their discussion about Malfoy. "I say, next time we get Snape, the greasy git--" James was saying, but he stopped suddenly.
The Common Room had several people in it, due to the rain that was fiercely pounding against the window. Dark clouds raged outside the thick class, and lightening split the class, silhouetting a single shape as it rammed again and again into the window.
"What is that?" Remus asked bewildered. "I think its...yeah, it is!" James said, as he opened the window, grabbing the tiny owl and bringing it inside. A burst of cold air came with the open window and several students glared, but he paid them no attention. "Whose that?" Peter asked curiously at the tiny screech owl James held in his hand. "It's my dad's," James explained. "I wonder why he didn't come with the morning mail though."
"He's got a package," Sirius noticed as they moved towards the fire. "Open it, let's see."
"It's got a letter too," Remus interrupted. "Open that first."
"Alright," James agreed reaching for the envelope and package. As he removed it from the owl's outstretched leg, Courage quickly took flight again, this time heading to the Owlery.
"Dear James," James read aloud in a soft voice. "Enclosed in the package is something my father passed down to me. It's very special, and I don't doubt you'll make good use of it. Don't open it where others can see -- this might be one secret you'll want to keep. That's why I've sent this at evening post rather then with the morning flurry. Use it well,
Dad"
"What do you suppose it is?" Sirius asked, his voice half hushed.
"I dunno," James said quietly. "Let's go up to the dorm and see."
The four boys hurried up the stairs, clamoring to open the package. When the door shut, James tore into it.
A silvery cloak, light to the touch and yet large in size, fell to his feet.
"Blimey," Sirius whispered.
"Woah," Peter echoed.
"Wicked," Remus added, his voice, like the others, hushed in awe.
"What is it?" James asked bluntly, his brow furrowed.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "James, m'boy...this is the answer to all your pranking needs."
"They're really rare though," Remus said wonderingly. "I've only read about them."
"What haven't you read about, Lupin," James said, scratching his head. "Put -- what is it?"
"Put it on," Sirius urged, and with a shrug, James did.
"AWESOME!" Sirius burst out, grinning. "Can I fit under it too?"
"What??" James asked bewildered. "Look in the mirror," Remus urged, grinning.
James glanced in the mirror, looked away, then paused. Slowly, he looked again. "You guys," he said slowly, "why can't I see myself?"
"It's an invisibility cloak!" Remus told him, beaming. Sirius was nearly jumping up and down from excitement. "Look its big enough to cover all four of us!"
"Woah," James said, his voice hushed with awe as he threw it over all four of them.
"This," James said softly, still staring at himself transfixed in the mirror, "is the best gift *ever*."
---------------------------
"Ouch, Black that was my toe--"
"Peter, get your hand out of my pocket, I don't swing that way--"
"I didn't know that was your pocket, I thought it was Remus's--"
"Why do you wanna be in *my* pockets, Pettigrew?"
"James, please tell me that's your leg--"
"QUIET!" James hissed. It was midnight, of the same day, and the four boys were out trying their first escapade with James's new cloak, which suddenly seemed a lot smaller as they all tried to walk under it at the same time. Thunder still cackled from the storm outside, and though Sirius insisted that they head to the Qudditch pitch and try to transfigure the entire hurricane into a rock, Remus argued logically that they still didn't know if it was possible, and anyway, there were bound to be more storms, this was England, after all. Sirius had to agree at that.
But now, their footsteps echoed eerily as the four made their way down the moonlight passage way. Two luminous eyes gleamed in the darkness ahead of them, and Remus caught his breath as Peter hissed what they were all thinking: "Does the cloak work on cats? It's Mrs. Norris!"
Sirius growled low in his throat as he answered in a undertone, "If she ruins this for us I will personally make sure she regrets it."
"Shut up!" James whispered frantically. But to their immense relief, the yellow eyes blinked once before slinking off into the shadows.
"She's gone," Remus announced unnecessarily. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Nothing gets passed you, Rem."
"So now where too?" James asked in a whisper. "Well, we still need to plan our revenge," Sirius reminded him and James nodded thoughtfully. "Yea, we do...but I was thinking...we should hold off on that for a day or two."
"What? WHY?!" Sirius exclaimed, outraged.
"It's more use that way! Think about it! They're completely paranoid...every time we say *boo* they shriek! Why relinquish that power so quickly? They'll all have ulcers before we even do anything!"
"Potter, I think you may be on to something," Remus said thoughtfully. "That way, when we do get them, it's like a double whammy."
Peter chuckled. "Whammy, I like that word."
They all shot him sideways looks. "Right Pete."
"How 'bout we try and find the kitchens?" James suggested. "I know they must be around here somewhere, and I'm hungry."
"You're always hungry," Remus said with an air of disgust.
Sirius smirked. "This is true. But come on, I think I heard some students talking about how it's behind some statue..?" He paused. "Or maybe they said painting."
"Sirius," James said patiently as they continued down the corridor. "There are about 50 billion statues in this school."
"James," Sirius said, just as patiently, "We have all night."
And with a sigh, they agreed. Urged on by the rumbling of James's stomach, they tapped, prodded and pushed everything in sight. Finally, as the hour edged towards three, Remus yawned. "I think we should give up for tonight guys," he said reluctantly. "We still haven't found anything."
"Hang on a minute," James said, paused. "I think I found something."
He had paused besides a statue of an old, humped witch. He frowned. "Doesn't this statue seem too protrude into the aisle a little?"
Remus frowned, and cocked his head to the side, studying it. "Now that you mention it, it does."
Peter shook his head. "I don't see it," he whined. He was tired, hungry and cold. He was beginning to wish he had his slippers. The fluffy ones.
"Try something," Remus urged and with a shrug, James slipped out of the cloak and leaned all his weight against the witch. Nothing.
"Help me, Black," James panted as he continued to struggle. Both boys pushed and shoved for a good ten minutes, but nothing happened. "Maybe you need to use magic."
"Okay then, but what spell?"
"Maybe it's locked," Remus suggested, pulling out his wand. "Ahlohamora!" But nothing happened.
"Stupid thing," James muttered, kicking the witch, then immediately wincing. "Ouch, not smart."
Sirius's eyes lit up. "Pete," he said slowly. "You know that spell you used on us before?"
"With the whipped cream?"
"Yeah. What exactly did it do?"
"It separates things."
"Like whip cream from faces.." Remus continued and Sirius smiled. "And statues from walls."
Peter frowned, puzzled. "What do you--"
"Oh, never mind." Sirius said, impatiently, pushing him aside to stand directly in front of the witch. "How did it go again? Oh yes--" he cleared his throat. "Dissendium!"
The witch slowly edged forward, spinning on its axes, revealing a hole large enough to admit a fairly thin person. The four boys stared at it.
"Woah." James muttered.
"Ditto."
--------------------------
About a half hour later though, after they had slid into the witch's tunnel and continued walking down the damp, dark, passage way, rather like something had burrowed in it, they were beginning to feel slightly less awe inspired.
"Whose stupid idea was this anyway?" Peter grumbled.
"Sirius's," answered James, who had taken the cloak off since it was no longer needed and was carrying it over his arm.
"How much further do you think this goes?"
"Who knows?" Sirius answered with a shrug. "For that matter, who knows where it goes?"
"I thought we were going to the kitchens!" Peter exclaimed.
"We *were*, mate," Sirius said slowly. "Before we found this tunnel. I doubt the kitchens are this far away."
"Well, where is this tunnel going?"
"I don't know, Pettigrew, do I look like a walking map?"
"That's what we need," Remus said suddenly. "A map."
James rolled his eyes. "Let's figure out where we're going first. *Then* we can make a map, okay?"
"Do you think this tunnel ever ends?"
"Sure." Sirius said reassuringly.
"Well, *where* do you think it is?"
"Once again, Pettigrew I am not a map."
"Hey..look..stairs," James said suddenly, as the tunnel came to an abrupt halt. All four boys in unison raised their heads to follow the stairs with their eyes out of sight.
"Should we follow it?" Remus asked uncertainly. James grinned. "Well, we've come this far, haven't we?"
"Yeah, but maybe we should do this on a different night..." Remus said uneasily and Peter nodded in agreement. "I mean, we know this is here now and what if we get caught? It's really late, almost 3 o clock."
"What if we get caught?" Peter said hesitantly. At once, James rolled his eyes. "Scaredy cats," he taunted. Turning to Sirius, he grinned. "You're with me, aren't you?"
Sirius stared for a moment, his eyes on the stairs, and then he chuckled. "DO you have to ask? Race you to the top."
Both boys sprinted up, climbing the stairs eagerly. Sharing a look of resigned fate, Peter and Remus followed much more slowly.
A few minutes, and a lot of stairs later, they heard a dull thud. "Ow," James said, rubbing his sore head. "Aw, did Jamsie-poo hit his head?" Sirius taunted. "Shut up Black. I beat you to the top, didn't i?"
Sirius considered this. "I let you win."
"You did not."
"Did too."
"Did not. You're just mad because I'm quicker then you."
"You wish you were Potter."
"I could take you anytime, anywhere."
"Oh yeah? You wanna go now--"
"GUYS!" Remus exclaimed, and James and Sirius looked up. "What?" Sirius said innocently.
"Could we open the door?"
"Right," James said, coming back to his sense, glancing up at the trap door above him. He took a breath. "Here goes nothing," he muttered quietly.
With a shove, the door fell back against the dusty floor, letting a wave of dust spray into the air.
"Hand me the cloak," James hissed and Remus, who had grabbed it when it fell of James's shoulders when he began his sprint up the stairs, passed it up, his face anxious.
James tossed it over his shoulders, as he raised himself out of the trap door, quiet as a mouse.
"What is it?" Sirius whispered frantically. "Are we still on school grounds?" Remus asked anxiously. "Is it the kitchens?" Peter wanted to know.
James pulled the cloak back so that only his face was visible, turning in slow circles, taking in everything with widened eyes. "Boys," he said very seriously, his voice low, a slow ecstatic grin working it's way across his face. "We've arrived in heaven. It's Honeydukes."