DISCLAIMER: I own neither the characters nor the song nor the situation. Well, maybe the situation, but it's just my take on things.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Can you believe it's been two years? Two years since I joined ff.n. Not quite two years since my first post -- that dubious honor goes to the first chapter of Market, on October 9 - but two years since I joined. Two years since I decided to jump into this crazy pool of seriousness and fun, spirit and spite, two years that have spawned some of the best fun I've ever had and some of the best friends. And I'm not leaving yet.
So I thought it was proper, in a way, to post this - a story about new beginnings, new chances, as a sort of celebration of not only my time here but of all the love and ambition everyone puts into their works and the chances that are inherent in all of them when things get going. 'Cause I can tell you, I ain't goin' anywhere just yet. I may stall sometimes, it may take awhile for me to get going, but there's no way in hell I'm dead yet.
This is a song fic to Sister Hazel's "Superman," off their album Something More Familiar. You probably know it better as the album that had "that song" on it - "All for You" ("it's hard to say what it is I see in you, wonder if I'll always be with you..."). I got to see them in concert and man they were awesome. They're so underappreciated. But one night I was listening to that album and something in my head just clicked - and this is what came out, something written at 3 in the morning when my roommate was out of town. The short chunks with the italics are the song lyrics (for the most part, at least), and all the rest is the story. I had fun writing it - I hope not only that you have fun reading it, but that you have as much fun writing your own stuff as I did.
One night--One town
Well there's just one man
And he throws his bag down
Then he runs away
Just as fast as he can
And then he falls to the ground
And he waits
All right... We're doing this.
The hastily packed duffle bag flew through the air, landing awkwardly on the bunk built into the train compartment and falling off within two seconds. Taka's mouth twisted into an ironic smile as he retrieved it from its resting place and dropped it on the bunk, too nervous and too exhilarated for a minor problem such as missing a bad throw to bother him. Never was much one for hitting things without looking where I was aiming, he thought, more amused at the mishap than anything.
The train lurched, causing him to lose his balance and fall back on the bunk with a muffled thud, then pulled out of the station at barely a fraction of the speed of the bullet train, yet still traveling faster than Taka's original mode of transportation - hitchhiking. How else was a poor farm boy expected to get to Tokyo? His acceptance to Seinan University had been so delayed in the mail that he'd given up hope of admittance and resigned himself to attending the local college in the nearby town, until an exasperated phone call came only a couple months before the school year was to start, wondering if he was enrolling in their university or not. Gleefully, he had accepted before considering how he was to earn the money for all the things living away from home would entail - food, rent, books, transportation, getting there. A train ticket was at the bottom of the list of necessities for college life - but somehow his father, his gruff, stoic father, had scraped together the money to purchase the ticket and presented it to him the day before. All his other boxes having been shipped before him, all he had to do was pack a duffle with a few clothes and a toothbrush to sustain him until he was settled comfortably in the city.
Taka groaned, flopping back on the thin mattress and staring at the ceiling, the excitement draining away in just a few seconds. Where am I going to live? He was pretty sure there was some sort of youth shelter in Tokyo, and that would do for a few nights, but what about after that? Maybe some of his new classmates would need another person to split the rent with - which would mean getting a job. Even if he didn't love money as much as he did, he'd still need a job of some sort to sustain himself past a month; his parents and siblings couldn't send him money from the farm every month. "Guess I'll be doing a lot of searching in the next couple of days," he muttered to the ceiling.
But classes. Would he be able to do that and keep up in his classes? Would it be a choice of one or the other? The blood drained out of his face at the thought of not being able to keep up - he'd lose his scholarship, have to quit school altogether. Return home in disgrace. The first person in his family to go to college, hell, pretty much the first person in his village to go beyond high school... The hopes of more people than just his family were on his shoulders, weighing them down as he remembered each and every familiar face, ones he'd known since before he could remember, filled his head, hearing their well-wishes and congratulations, and yet at the same time twisted in sadness and surrender because he'd failed...
I'm not strong enough for this. Oh god, I'm not strong enough...
If he hadn't already done it, Taka would have collapsed onto the bunk. One hand drifted to his forehead to push back his navy blue hair, almost as if the skin had to be exposed for some reason. But Taka wasn't paying attention to metaphysical implications; all his mind was focused on one thought...
God, Kami-sama, Buddha, whatever's up there... Or if you all are - I'd pray to a giant red pigeon if it was up there - please don't let me mess up. Give me the strength from somewhere but give it to me, because I don't know well I'll do without some kind of help here...
A flash of purple and laughing eyes suddenly appeared before him, but when he pulled himself upright to look, the image was gone.
For Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman
Don't worry Taka... I'll help you.
Another night--Another town
Well there's just one girl
She's lookin' all around
And then she cries out loud
Just as loud as she can
Then she falls to the ground
And she waits
Under the star-sprinkled sky, Yuuki Miaka abruptly spun on her heel to look behind her. She could've sworn...
But no, no one was there. It was just another illusion, another "thing" created by her mind to fool her into believing they were still with her. That he was still with her. He wasn't, and he never could be. The book was sealed, the adventure over, the Miko had returned to her world, never to return again. Now that it was over, it was impossible for Miaka, and Yui, to go back, to remain there, even though Yui no more wanted to return to that world than Miaka had wanted to give it up. But to save her own world, to save her family, friends... She'd given up her dream, her love, and would have had to anyway.
Even now, a month later, I still can't get over it... Her mouth twisted in a wry, humorless smile, unfortunately the kind that was seen so often nowadays on her face in place of her former, laughing one. Kaa-san is getting worried... But I can't help it. I won't go see a shrink, I can't explain it to them. What am I going to do?
Tamahome... Gods Tamahome, I miss you. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Like you'll never be made whole again? But it's supposed to get better with time, and for me it's only getting worse... We didn't part because we wanted to, but because of some stupid celestial law that said I couldn't remain in your world. And why not? Why couldn't I? WHY?
In the courtyard of her apartment building, Miaka suddenly stopped and screamed, screamed for all she was worth, as high as her vocal cords would go and for as long as she had breath to support it. In her mind the shriek went on forever, never-ending like the rent in her heart, gaining in intensity rather than losing as her body must have surely been doing as it lost air to support the sound. In a nearby apartment a dog threw back its head and joined her in her misery, adding a discordant accompaniment that prompted its owner into chasing it with a broom. A window burst open and a body appeared in the frame, shouting for an answer, but Miaka ignored it all as the scream finally faded from her lips and her legs lost all energy, trembling like weak noodles before folding beneath her. She sat down abruptly in the slush from that year's snow-melt, not caring about the cold, her chest heaving as she tried to replenish her oxygen supply and every muscle trembling.
Tamahome... Tamahome, I want you here with me.
If she'd been paying more attention, perhaps she would have noticed the brief feeling of a slim arm wrapping itself around her shoulders - but the touch was so light she couldn't feel it through her winter clothing and grief.
For Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman
Stubborn as always, aren't you, Miaka-chan? It'll be okay, I promise...
Another night--Another town
We'll there's just one train
She's full and loaded down
She sputters once.......!
And says I think I can
And as they slide down the hill
Well they wait
Huh?
Taka sat up in his bunk the next night, startled out of a fairly sound sleep by... something, he didn't know what. In his dream it had sounded like the cry of a young woman, a young woman in infinite pain... pain that he wanted to ease somehow, but had no idea how to even start.
All right, gotta lay off the cheap beer in the dining car.
He stood, rubbed his bleary eyes, then moved to the window and quickly opened it, sticking his head out into the blast of freezing air that did more to wake him than any cold shower. A laugh escaped his throat, snatched away by the gust immediately, and then the train shook again, jolted and slowed - and Taka realized they were beginning to climb another hill. He didn't draw his head back in, wanting to see what was on the other side - and when the train crested the top, he gasped. A myriad splatter of lights lay below, as if paint that could glow had been splashed into the large valley before him. White, yellow, neon, blinking, every type of light man ever made was represented somewhere in the city, with the famous Tokyo Tower standing above them all with its red bulbs blinking.
Tokyo... I'm here. I'm here!
Finally, I'm where I'm supposed to be...
For Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman
"Well, Nuriko?" an exquisitely cultured voice spoke up from behind the slighter form standing at a basin and staring in. "Have you done it?"
The purple-haired seishi turned to give his emperor a cheeky grin before going back to his gazing. "I wouldn't say I did it, Hotohori-sama. They would've gotten it right eventually - I just gave them a nudge in the right direction." His wonderful smile lit his face as he saw Tamahome - no, Taka, must remember that - step off of the strange metal tube he'd learned was called a "train," the boy's face alight with joy that concealed a healthy dose of fear to all but those who could read him extremely well. Go now, Tama-chan. Find her, and make both of yourselves happy.
You've got your strength inside you.
For Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman--Here I am
Superman
AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Happy anniversary to me, and I hope I have another wonderful two years with you guys. See you later!